Today
School takes up most of my time. I take a break today to come to LJ, where I haven't had any words to say for a long time. Anxiety has a way of killing creativity. But, overall, it's better these days.
My father died on October third. He went in for an esophajectomy and larengectomy which went fine, but his aorta gave out. The operations would have only given him a maybe a year more of quality life. Cancer was still the enemy, it had spread to his lungs and possibly other places as well. I feel for my mother who is alone now. She has never had many, if any, friends. I fear getting older myself. Now that both parents have had cancer, will I get that demon too? Who can tell. We all must die, but how...
I did an illustration for Illustration Friday's vacant theme:
I haven't been doing much art of late. But I think I would like to try the challenge of keeping up with Illustration Friday, even if to see how bad I can be. And then, post whatever I have done even if it sucks. And, most things I try to paint, especially something due in a week: suck.
The kids:
Joey is still being a stranger, living with his bio father. But he looked good at the funeral: didn't smell like smoke or B.O., and he had good color and no bags under his eyes.
Philip was removed from Honor's English, not because he isn't smart enough but because he can't juggle and organize. He remains in the advanced algebra class. Hopefully his grades will improve: he either gets all A's, or 0's, because he misses knowing about or turning in the assignment. He still lives to play video games and D&D. He wants to join the SCA so he can do rapier, and I think it would be fun too, but there doesn't seem to be enough time and money right now. Especially since I think we'd have to drive to Indy to do it.
I am considering taking Emma to piano lessons. We don't have a working piano but she has a keyboard to play on. She is playing the recorder in music class right now. Her room is still a rat's nest of found objects, model horses, and clothes.
Rowan will take swimming lessons this winter. (actually they all will) He is only interested in one friend. I try to get him to invite others over but he is reluctant. It wouldn't be such a big deal except the one friend he does have isn't a lot like him. But, he's in cub scouts to helpfully get him active in something social.
Me, I have no social life right now and it really bothers me. But I don't have the time or where-how to go be social either. I invited a friend over recently for dinner and their family came but she hasn't reciprocated. I talked to Rebecca on the phone today, that was good. I should move out of my comfort zone and call people more, even if it shocks them.
(edit) I've forgotten how to cook. I can never think of what to fix or how to make anything. This is not good as I don't want to rely on instant meals! I don't want to sit around reading cookbooks again. But, seems like I'll have to. I've been cooking for years and years, how does one just forget?
My father died on October third. He went in for an esophajectomy and larengectomy which went fine, but his aorta gave out. The operations would have only given him a maybe a year more of quality life. Cancer was still the enemy, it had spread to his lungs and possibly other places as well. I feel for my mother who is alone now. She has never had many, if any, friends. I fear getting older myself. Now that both parents have had cancer, will I get that demon too? Who can tell. We all must die, but how...
I did an illustration for Illustration Friday's vacant theme:
I haven't been doing much art of late. But I think I would like to try the challenge of keeping up with Illustration Friday, even if to see how bad I can be. And then, post whatever I have done even if it sucks. And, most things I try to paint, especially something due in a week: suck.
The kids:
Joey is still being a stranger, living with his bio father. But he looked good at the funeral: didn't smell like smoke or B.O., and he had good color and no bags under his eyes.
Philip was removed from Honor's English, not because he isn't smart enough but because he can't juggle and organize. He remains in the advanced algebra class. Hopefully his grades will improve: he either gets all A's, or 0's, because he misses knowing about or turning in the assignment. He still lives to play video games and D&D. He wants to join the SCA so he can do rapier, and I think it would be fun too, but there doesn't seem to be enough time and money right now. Especially since I think we'd have to drive to Indy to do it.
I am considering taking Emma to piano lessons. We don't have a working piano but she has a keyboard to play on. She is playing the recorder in music class right now. Her room is still a rat's nest of found objects, model horses, and clothes.
Rowan will take swimming lessons this winter. (actually they all will) He is only interested in one friend. I try to get him to invite others over but he is reluctant. It wouldn't be such a big deal except the one friend he does have isn't a lot like him. But, he's in cub scouts to helpfully get him active in something social.
Me, I have no social life right now and it really bothers me. But I don't have the time or where-how to go be social either. I invited a friend over recently for dinner and their family came but she hasn't reciprocated. I talked to Rebecca on the phone today, that was good. I should move out of my comfort zone and call people more, even if it shocks them.
(edit) I've forgotten how to cook. I can never think of what to fix or how to make anything. This is not good as I don't want to rely on instant meals! I don't want to sit around reading cookbooks again. But, seems like I'll have to. I've been cooking for years and years, how does one just forget?