Dear LJ,
• No matter how good it is to watch Vin Diesel on screen...Babylon AD was just bad...bad.
• I am in process of applying to the Art Institutes online for a web design diploma. It's really expensive. I'm really anxious over being able to do it... but I am hanging onto the thought that's it's better to try and fail than never try at all. (I guess we'll be living with our falling apart badly couches quite a while longer)
• I am off wellbutrin, just take the abilify now and vyvanse for ADD though I really want to see if I can manage without it since I've lived so long with untreated ADD and I don't think it helps that much except for keeping me alert... the money we pay for meds for the family makes me want to cut out all unnessaries.
My mood is very stable now but there is a part of me that still wonders if I really am bipolar. I'm a doubter. I'd like to stop taking abilify, see what happens, and then take again or not. Doctors don't go for that though. And, btw, my doctor always wants to see me in 2 weeks. I made it only once with him scheduling me to come back in a month. I know I've got anxiety bad but really, am I that bad?! I'd like to ask to see him once a month but I'm usually a big chicken about it...I want to next time though.
• Tim has a position now with a PR firm. He loves it. He gets to be creative and design everyday instead of production work. He still does some freelance though so he still works "all the time".
• Anxiety: the prescription is to do those things you are anxious about. The more you succumb to it and don't do something because of it the more pervasive it becomes. This is tough work... because as an anxious person all you want to do is escape those feelings.
Things I am doing now along those lines: cub scouts with Rowan (the highest ranking on the anxiety list), going camping with the family down to Springmill in a week or so, every time I drive to Indy, the online school, taking the van to the shop to be fixed, every time I go to the grocery store... seriously, these are such normal life experiences that I feel I must be making the wrong decision going to school, how will I be able to manage it? ..."better to try and fail than not try at all" OK then.
Another thing my doc says about anxiety and anxious people is that we don't usually give ourselves credit for the things we accomplish, dismissing them as something anyone could do and the like. I am supposed to develop my big pile of accomplishments mentally to prove to myself I have worth.
• I am in process of applying to the Art Institutes online for a web design diploma. It's really expensive. I'm really anxious over being able to do it... but I am hanging onto the thought that's it's better to try and fail than never try at all. (I guess we'll be living with our falling apart badly couches quite a while longer)
• I am off wellbutrin, just take the abilify now and vyvanse for ADD though I really want to see if I can manage without it since I've lived so long with untreated ADD and I don't think it helps that much except for keeping me alert... the money we pay for meds for the family makes me want to cut out all unnessaries.
My mood is very stable now but there is a part of me that still wonders if I really am bipolar. I'm a doubter. I'd like to stop taking abilify, see what happens, and then take again or not. Doctors don't go for that though. And, btw, my doctor always wants to see me in 2 weeks. I made it only once with him scheduling me to come back in a month. I know I've got anxiety bad but really, am I that bad?! I'd like to ask to see him once a month but I'm usually a big chicken about it...I want to next time though.
• Tim has a position now with a PR firm. He loves it. He gets to be creative and design everyday instead of production work. He still does some freelance though so he still works "all the time".
• Anxiety: the prescription is to do those things you are anxious about. The more you succumb to it and don't do something because of it the more pervasive it becomes. This is tough work... because as an anxious person all you want to do is escape those feelings.
Things I am doing now along those lines: cub scouts with Rowan (the highest ranking on the anxiety list), going camping with the family down to Springmill in a week or so, every time I drive to Indy, the online school, taking the van to the shop to be fixed, every time I go to the grocery store... seriously, these are such normal life experiences that I feel I must be making the wrong decision going to school, how will I be able to manage it? ..."better to try and fail than not try at all" OK then.
Another thing my doc says about anxiety and anxious people is that we don't usually give ourselves credit for the things we accomplish, dismissing them as something anyone could do and the like. I am supposed to develop my big pile of accomplishments mentally to prove to myself I have worth.