I leave you guys alone for two days...
Hi. So, there is Discussion happening over chez belmanoir and elsewhere (ETA see: the epic stack of comments over at Iggy's) about pairing politics and about how, in general good faith, we all go around stepping on each other's feet and occasionally stubbing our own toes as we wander around this ginormous roadblock marked, basically, "Watching and Reading Preferences." Every so often someone says "ow!" and everyone turns to look.
Screw metaphors.
At the risk of stepping on yet more toes and piling on bonus vagueness to what is mostly a polite and well-intentioned argument, I'm going to post about this. This isn't a thing I usually do. If I'm feeling the need to be a crank about something, I email Z -- whether it's someone taking offense where I think there's none to take, or it's me wanting to tell the damn kids to get off my lawn. We all have these moments.
The thing is, I generally see the sense in both sides of the argument (if there are indeed only two) while simultaneously having to restrain myself about what I perceive to be the nonsense. There's a lot of it. (Side note: there is/was only one trend in the entire comment train where I had an immediate and visceral response of "whoa whoa whoa WHOA", but nos4a2no9 and ignazwisdom were on the case. But in case you didn't spot that: it's extremely problematic to adopt certain sets of words and concepts in what is strictly a 'ship politics discussion. It bears repeating.)
Anyhow, aside from anything else, as a discussion of ship preferences grows longer, the probability of me rolling my eyes forever approaches one. Yes, even in my primary fandom. Perhaps particularly in this fandom, because I know most of the players and can't exactly proceed to ignore them. Hence, eye-rolling. With love!
At the risk of sounding... I don't know, disingenuous, this isn't the same as most fandom politics. We're a) a lot of relative newcomers in an old fandom and b) almost all one or two degrees from one another if not actually mutually friended. I saw it put forth in a comment to Bel's post that everyone is happy as long as we don't stray over the lines -- i.e. we stick to specific comms and spaces and never the twain shall meet which... no. It doesn't and shouldn't work that way, IMO. We're not a large enough fandom to divide into cliques like that without, oh, sacrificing most of our mutual squee. Why should we limit our circle over that? *staples self to flist*
We're friends. We're friends of friends. And every time we bring fandom politics to the yard like we could possibly be objective, people get prickly. The bias on all sides is outstanding. Nothing else like it on the internet--just ask Fandom Wank. The feelings are what they are, but I'm still coming from the eye-rolling place -- we're talking about reading preferences. Taking! It! Personally! on any side of the divide is just silly (Ray). I just don't really give a crap when the thing at stake is the honour of our OTPs and favourites, or the sanctity of our comms (which have mods for a reason), rather than actual offense given to actual people. Sorry. I absolutely get feeling defensive when your preferences are poked or your words and posts are met with disapproval, or even the favourites and posts of your friends, but pulling each unto yourself like a personal insult is... Look, if it makes you sad, it does, but let's try not to confuse hurt with irritation, or tactlessness for honesty, because people are going to take us at our word and then the games begin. (You might think I'm mincing my words, here. It's because I am.)
I guess what I'm saying is I both do and do not see the utility in these discussions. I mean, even a proper wank is more satisfying (...hee). What are we supposed to do about reading preferences? The pie-chart is what it is for now, and I know most people get, in the end, that it's not actually a value judgment in and of itself, the inner "stompy three-year-old" aside. What do we do about people's feelings? Well... not much, except as it comes. No one's a mind-reader, and we're communicating by text, for god's sake.
Be less touchy, speak up more often, sit down and listen, give examples, name no names, be blunt, be polite, move along, discuss in-depth... the answer is actually all of the above. So I guess I don't really have a point, here. Other than be more like me, obvs. >.>
So, you know. Sit down for a while, watch "You Can Call Me" on a loop at least ten times, read some comfort fic and report tomorrow with squee. And don't make me come out the vase.
♥