It just might be a good thing
When I was a kid anyone could hit me and I’d take it. I could get called hateful, mean things and I’d produce copious amounts of tears for their enjoyment. I had no defenses and I had no way of knowing how to even build a half-wall around myself. I took every hit, physically, emotionally. It didn’t matter. I learned to lay down early as that kept the pain to a minimum. That was who I was. And even though I walked in the shadows as much as possible, being this way always attracted those who were looking for easy targets. In the end, I paid a high price for my sin of being a doormat.
I was around 22 years old and it was somewhere around the birth of my second child that I learned to fight back. There were a lot of obstacles surrounding the pregnancy and birth. I was forced to make decisions I never imagined I’d have to make. In the end, a fighter was born. And that fighter was me.
If you hurt me, I’m gonna hurt you back. Punch me and I’m gonna slam my fist in your face. Knock me out and I’ll eventually come to, find you, and retaliate in equal form.
I don’t go out looking for fights or revenge. I don’t feel as though anyone that has hurt me deserves worse than what they gave me. My actions are spurred on by the knee-jerk reflex, the pump of my adrenaline, the “fight” option from the flight or fight response.
This is who I am today. And it isn’t a bad thing to be. It’s pushed me to be the woman I am. The writer I am. The mother I am. It’s enabled me to fight for my kids, my beliefs, my right to love my God, and my dreams.
So if you’re ever wondering if people really can change, this is your proof. We can and we should. We should grow in some way every day of our lives. If we don’t, we become stale and stagnant. We begin to reek of regret and confusion. We’re left behind because we refuse to move forward and the rules of the universe won’t allow our loved ones to carry us.
I was around 22 years old and it was somewhere around the birth of my second child that I learned to fight back. There were a lot of obstacles surrounding the pregnancy and birth. I was forced to make decisions I never imagined I’d have to make. In the end, a fighter was born. And that fighter was me.
If you hurt me, I’m gonna hurt you back. Punch me and I’m gonna slam my fist in your face. Knock me out and I’ll eventually come to, find you, and retaliate in equal form.
I don’t go out looking for fights or revenge. I don’t feel as though anyone that has hurt me deserves worse than what they gave me. My actions are spurred on by the knee-jerk reflex, the pump of my adrenaline, the “fight” option from the flight or fight response.
This is who I am today. And it isn’t a bad thing to be. It’s pushed me to be the woman I am. The writer I am. The mother I am. It’s enabled me to fight for my kids, my beliefs, my right to love my God, and my dreams.
So if you’re ever wondering if people really can change, this is your proof. We can and we should. We should grow in some way every day of our lives. If we don’t, we become stale and stagnant. We begin to reek of regret and confusion. We’re left behind because we refuse to move forward and the rules of the universe won’t allow our loved ones to carry us.