04:53 pm - Cardiac Feast...
So here I am again, lost in thoughts and memories. Dreamer, that's what they call me. Idealist...or Stone Cold Bitch. Why? Because I show the world a "I don't care what you think about me" attitude. So here I am, not careing what others think, but then there are the inner circle. Who are they? Phantasms in my heart that live to cause pain, torment, rage and sometimes...love. They are those with keys to the deep places of me. So few, So very few. Where are you? Where are you? You are here, then you're gone. You're a bitch, and you know it, but that's just your excuse not to feel. Your just a scared little girl, and I know it. That's why you can't stand me, but it's also what makes you love me. You always have loved me. They always will. Even in the moments of pureist hate, they know it is only those they loved that they can hate so vehmently. Hate me, love me...do I know the difference. You need me, or do I need you? Do I want you? Do I want the one who made me feel? Do I need to feel? Where are you? I know who you are, and you know me, begin anew? Force intimacy, tenderness untouched in so long...I adore you. I hate you. I want you. I curse you. I feel. I don't know if I want to feel. Make me feel the way you did once, or take the pain from me with tender love. You are beautiful and amazing, but you don't know how highly I think of you. Love, wherefore art thou love? ~M~