I Do Not Drink - Get Over It
I just tried to join a group on Facebook called "Teenagers who actually don't drink or do drugs", but I soon gave up. As in my real life, any person who doesn't drink or do drugs and who doesn't pretend to be ashamed of that gets lampooned and belittled because of it. Even this group being overrun with people eager to join and have a go at my "holier than thou attitude".
I don't have a go at people for drinking. So why does everyone have such a problem with me not doing that?
Firstly, I don't like the taste of alcohol. Drinks-wise, all I drink is water anyway (maybe the odd hot chocolate) so of course alcohol is too strong for me. I've tried to drink it and I can't get past more than a sip; it just genuinely makes me want to gag. So why should I force myself to drink something I don't like?
Secondly, I don't like losing control. I admit that I am a control freak, and the idea of being out of control makes me feel nervous. I am perfectly capable of letting go and having a good time without actually messing up my head; my friends often tell me I get drunk on the atmosphere, meaning that the more drunk the people around me get, the more drunk I act. I'm just still able to be sensible, to sober up immediately to deal with any problems, and remember what happened in the morning.
Thirdly, it's more than all those things. In December 2009, a friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver. She was 23. Since that point I have actively taken the decision not to put any alcohol or drugs into my body, because, in my head, all it causes is heartbreak and grief. The other driver was also killed, and I therefore the only blame I can put on the situation is on the alcohol itself - the alcohol killed my friend. It's irrational, I know, but so's the fact that every time I saw a drunk person for at least a mont after it happened all I could think was "it's YOUR fault, YOU'RE a murderer." You don't think rationally when something like that happens. Sarah was bright, and bubbly and lovely. She was about to start teaching me the piano, she was an art teacher, a kind person and a fantastic artist.
I have one of her paintings in my room. I was told she would probably have done one for my 18th birthday anyway, so this was her gift to me. I take it as an inspiration and a reminder. At 17, you shouldn't have to bury a friend. And I never got closure, as the snow in late December meant that I was confined to house and we missed her funeral. I can't let that go. And, therefore, people should respect the life-changing-decisions I have made on the back of such a twisted event.
I don't want to put myself in any position like this. I don't want to put one drop of alcohol in me. Other people can do what they want. But, of course, some people take offence to my absitence and take it as a personal attack on themselves. I've heard them all, trust me. "Prude", "boring", "party pooper", "holier than thou", "stuck up cow" etc. etc. One of my friends, my best friend, I hasten to add, was talking excitedly about me and her going to the local gay bar, when her face suddenly fell and she went "oh no, we can't, you don't drink," and she promptly turned and began disucssing the night out with another friend.
Funny, I wasn't aware that clubs implemented a "you must drink" policy. Or that you can only have a good time with someone who is rat-arsed. Or that teetotallers are only legally allowed to stay at home sipping water from a bottle.
Actually, I think me not going out and drinking every weekend makes me more of a rebel than my friends can ever hope to be. They all think that I've missed out on some rite of passage, forever saying smugly "you wouldn't understand because you don't drink" and refusing to include me. They thik they're being big and clever, that they are somehow rebelling against the system - but I'm the one who is different. I am rebelling by now doing what people expect of me. I am the biggest rebel of all my friends, because I'm the only one not conforming.
One of my friends once said "I don't think this will last, the peer pressure will get too much in the end." Of course, that just makes me more determined that I never will. I don't need to drink to have a good time. And the more you push me, the harder I push back.
Always have. Always will.
So get over it.
I don't have a go at people for drinking. So why does everyone have such a problem with me not doing that?
Firstly, I don't like the taste of alcohol. Drinks-wise, all I drink is water anyway (maybe the odd hot chocolate) so of course alcohol is too strong for me. I've tried to drink it and I can't get past more than a sip; it just genuinely makes me want to gag. So why should I force myself to drink something I don't like?
Secondly, I don't like losing control. I admit that I am a control freak, and the idea of being out of control makes me feel nervous. I am perfectly capable of letting go and having a good time without actually messing up my head; my friends often tell me I get drunk on the atmosphere, meaning that the more drunk the people around me get, the more drunk I act. I'm just still able to be sensible, to sober up immediately to deal with any problems, and remember what happened in the morning.
Thirdly, it's more than all those things. In December 2009, a friend of mine was killed by a drunk driver. She was 23. Since that point I have actively taken the decision not to put any alcohol or drugs into my body, because, in my head, all it causes is heartbreak and grief. The other driver was also killed, and I therefore the only blame I can put on the situation is on the alcohol itself - the alcohol killed my friend. It's irrational, I know, but so's the fact that every time I saw a drunk person for at least a mont after it happened all I could think was "it's YOUR fault, YOU'RE a murderer." You don't think rationally when something like that happens. Sarah was bright, and bubbly and lovely. She was about to start teaching me the piano, she was an art teacher, a kind person and a fantastic artist.
I have one of her paintings in my room. I was told she would probably have done one for my 18th birthday anyway, so this was her gift to me. I take it as an inspiration and a reminder. At 17, you shouldn't have to bury a friend. And I never got closure, as the snow in late December meant that I was confined to house and we missed her funeral. I can't let that go. And, therefore, people should respect the life-changing-decisions I have made on the back of such a twisted event.
I don't want to put myself in any position like this. I don't want to put one drop of alcohol in me. Other people can do what they want. But, of course, some people take offence to my absitence and take it as a personal attack on themselves. I've heard them all, trust me. "Prude", "boring", "party pooper", "holier than thou", "stuck up cow" etc. etc. One of my friends, my best friend, I hasten to add, was talking excitedly about me and her going to the local gay bar, when her face suddenly fell and she went "oh no, we can't, you don't drink," and she promptly turned and began disucssing the night out with another friend.
Funny, I wasn't aware that clubs implemented a "you must drink" policy. Or that you can only have a good time with someone who is rat-arsed. Or that teetotallers are only legally allowed to stay at home sipping water from a bottle.
Actually, I think me not going out and drinking every weekend makes me more of a rebel than my friends can ever hope to be. They all think that I've missed out on some rite of passage, forever saying smugly "you wouldn't understand because you don't drink" and refusing to include me. They thik they're being big and clever, that they are somehow rebelling against the system - but I'm the one who is different. I am rebelling by now doing what people expect of me. I am the biggest rebel of all my friends, because I'm the only one not conforming.
One of my friends once said "I don't think this will last, the peer pressure will get too much in the end." Of course, that just makes me more determined that I never will. I don't need to drink to have a good time. And the more you push me, the harder I push back.
Always have. Always will.
So get over it.