[ Naruto ] An Elegy of Candles - 2
Rawr. It's chapter two. Sort of iffy on the future of this fic, since my interests are changing. I still love Naruto, though, so I'll try to make progress.
Title: An Elegy of Candles
Rating: PG-13 for the most part, with a few R-rated chapters.
Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke. Some light Orochimaru x Sasuke, Shikamaru x Temari, and later implied Lee x Sakura.
Warnings: Yaoi, shouta-con, slight non-con, angst.
Archives: Fanfiction.net, Adultfanfiction.net, Livejournal (user: mercurial-flux).
Summary: [ NaruSasu ] Kakashi arrives in time at the Valley of the End, and Naruto struggles to keep his friend from succumbing to darkness.
Author’s Email: tsubasa.oscura@gmail.com (Keep flames to the reviews, please.)
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Chapter Two: Fear and Love
“It is much more secure to be feared than loved.”
Niccolò Machiavelli
-----
Sasuke was pouting, and he knew it. In his defense, however, it was a refined pout, with his bottom lip protruding a just little, his brows furrowing delicately and his eyes flashing annoyance. It certainly wasn’t helping his irritation that a certain silver-haired ex-teacher of his was walking a little ahead of him, the happy curve of his visible eye exuding cheer. Sasuke had two packed bags in his hands; one was filled with clothes and the other with personal paraphernalia. Kakashi had even been kind enough to offer to hold some of his things for him as they left his home. As a response, Sasuke would have loved to hit him with the luggage, but thought better of it; he doubted he could land a hit, anyhow.
The long trek to Naruto’s apartment was a fairly uncomfortable one, though Sasuke got the feeling that Kakashi was unperturbed, and, rather, enthused in some malicious way. The boy couldn’t help but scowl; he felt as if he was a burden to be passed around from one person to another. It made him feel useless, helpless and secondary. He had felt like that before, when he was very young, and he did not like feeling it again. He lowered his eyes.
“Sasuke, if you want, I’ll hold at least one of your bags.” Kakashi’s voice was calm and mellow and for some reason, Sasuke despised it.
“I can handle them myself.” Sasuke uttered the words through gritted teeth.
“Of course, of course.”
The two continued in silence for a while. Kakashi’s eye was open and perfectly circular now, and Sasuke’s remained lit in irritation.
Needless to say, Sasuke wasn’t particularly thrilled about staying with Naruto. Their previous encounter had been just a little awkward and angry; Naruto had gone on about how Sasuke needed to move on, and Sasuke retaliated coldly and demanded that he and Sakura to leave. He was humiliated. Who was that idiot boy to tell him what he should forget and remember? “Just forget about it,” he had said, referring to the beginnings of their climactic fight at the Valley of the End, and Sasuke was furious. He couldn’t forget. He never forgot anything.
Not to mention, Naruto was, unfortunately, much more talkative than Kakashi. Sasuke’s expression darkened; he knew that the blonde would press him to speak more about his actions as of late and ask why, how, who, and what propelled him to try to leave Konoha.
Sasuke certainly would never admit that a part of it had to do with the blonde himself. Not even to his own person; the remnants of his shattered pride simply wouldn’t allow it.
Walking the rest of the way in silence, Sasuke and Kakashi made their way up a flight of stairs to where Naruto took residence. Kakashi had mentioned before they left that he had called up the blonde and asked if this was alright; the shorter boy apparently had no problem with it. Sasuke’s face fell dark. What was Naruto thinking?
“Now, now, Sasuke-kun,” Kakashi turned to him and smiled cheerfully after he knocked on the door. “Don’t be so grim.”
Sasuke only frowned deeper in retaliation.
Kakashi sighed in what could have been exasperation as the door slid open and the two were met by a tousle of blonde hair and a sunkissed face. Naruto seemed as cheerful as always, the obnoxiously large grin painted onto his face.
“Sasuke! Kakashi-sensei! Come in!” His voice was as uplifted and excited as he sounded most of the time; Sasuke’s brows furrowed since he had expected him to be at least a little more somber after everything that had happened between them. But Naruto seemed unaffected. He had that uncanny ability to stick to someone like something beyond glue; Naruto remained steadfastly Sasuke’s friend, and it didn’t seem that anything would dissuade him.
Sasuke stayed where he was even after he was invited in; he wouldn’t step a foot inside that apartment until he was told twice, or maybe threatened. Kakashi did the same, though did so with a charming expression on the visible quarter of his face.
“Actually, Naruto,” Kakashi started, looking cheerier than Sasuke would have liked, “I’m afraid I can’t join you two at the moment. My team and I-for the mission-were going to meet up somewhere to…discuss our…plan.” Sasuke felt his left eye twitch just slightly. “So I’d better get going then.” The Uchiha could almost feel the strength of his ex-teacher’s smile beating against the side of his face.
“Eh?” Naruto started, an eyebrow raising in incredulity, but he was cut off.
“Good.” Kakashi smiled, responding before anything else could be said, and put a hand to the side of his forehead, reminiscent of a salute. “I’ll be going then. Have fun, you two. Take care of Sasuke, Naruto.”
Naruto grinned, and Sasuke thought that the other boy’s face was a little pinker than usual. “Yes, Kakashi-sensei!”
Sasuke sighed and turned to face the shorter boy before him with a steely expression, to which Naruto didn’t respond. He moved aside and motioned for Sasuke to come in. He had a smile on his face, though Sasuke could tell that it was forced: his brows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched. The Uchiha almost felt degraded by the very fact that the other was trying to treat him the way he used to. It was almost as if he was refusing to realize how he had changed. Anger and pride stirred within him and he stepped inside.
-----
Naruto was a little annoyed as Sasuke took a graceful step into his home, largely with the way his friend carried himself. The Uchiha looked irate and his almond eyes were filled with some disdain that the blonde decided he didn’t want to comprehend. Nevertheless, he tried to be civil, at least for the time being. It wasn’t really like him to bother putting up a front, but a part of him wanted to avoid another confrontation between the two. There had been enough confronting going on between them already, and Naruto didn’t want to end up in another tiff with the other boy. He was just here to stay for a while. Just for a while.
“So,” Naruto broke the air of uncomfortable quietness that surrounded the two. “I don’t really have a lot of space in my apartment. But I do have a small guest room, and you can stay there.”
Sasuke didn’t respond, and his face was turned away, his eyes fluttering disparagingly over the messy couch. Naruto was still annoyed.
“What are you staring at?” The blonde snapped in irritation.
Sasuke’s eyes had drifted away from the couch, to the food-stained table. He turned to the blonde, his voice condescending. “It’s a pigsty in here.”
Naruto scowled. “Well, get used to it! It’s not that messy!”
The Uchiha’s lip curled in a sneer. “Well, they always did say that the condition of the person’s surroundings reflects on the person.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Sasuke simply shrugged. “Figure it out.”
Naruto growled in a feral manner, his eyebrows knitted together. “Don’t be a smartass, Sasuke!”
It seemed that Sasuke had decided not to dignify that with a direct answer, since he remained quiet as he picked up his bags again.
“Shut up and show me my room.” He watched the other derisively, and Naruto scowled.
“Alright, bastard.”
Naruto’s clear eyes shone through with disgruntlement as he started to walk toward a door close to the main room, with Sasuke in tow. For some reason, the blonde felt a little uncomfortable with the dark-haired boy standing behind him; perhaps because he was half-expecting the other to attempt to kill him at any given instant. But he didn’t dare turn back to see. He wouldn’t let Sasuke intimidate him. He doubted he even could intimidate him anymore.
It pained Naruto to admit it to himself, but Sasuke wasn’t the same. Or maybe he had always been this way, and he had never noticed it. Either way, the boy behind him was now a complete stranger to him; he was dark and hostile, and Naruto had a stirring feeling in his gut that Sasuke wasn’t quite sane anymore. Because lately, everything was about being better than everyone else. Everything was about power, and hatred, and all those derogatory things that spewed out from between the dark-haired boy’s perfect white lips. Naruto wasn’t sure where it came from all of a sudden or why, but it hurt him to see his best friend so buried underneath all the black things in the world.
He pushed aside the door to reveal a rather small room, with light blue walls and a single rectangular window peering out into the busy streets of Konoha below. It was not decorated, but it was in considerably less disarray than the rest of the house, and Naruto saw Sasuke’s scrutinizing eye watch every little corner as if to make sure that the room was acceptable.
Naruto rolled his eyes. “So? Do you want it or do you plan to camp out in front of the apartment door?”
Sasuke’s glare was decisive as he put his bags down inside the room and slid the door shut in the other’s face. Naruto growled, mumbling rather loudly about ungratefulness before turning on his heels. How Sakura put up with Sasuke was a divine mystery; living with the other boy was going to take a lot more patience than he initially suspected.
-----
Two shadows fell along the stone walls and candlelight flickered alluringly, piercing the small room with light. It was nighttime and most of the town was asleep, though deep in the hollows of the Sound, Yakushi Kabuto and his master were awake. They sat still, the silver-haired man with his perfectly round bifocals glimmering with the light reflected off them, watching the older man in the room. Orochimaru watched him expectantly. Kabuto lowered his eyes, though not from fear.
“Uchiha was stopped. He couldn’t leave.” The younger man’s voice was clear and unwavering.
“Was he stopped?” Came the soft, fluttering reply.
“Yes. He was stopped at the Valley of the End by his former comrades.”
Orochimaru’s thin lips curled upwards. “By his former comrades? Sasuke-kun couldn’t even escape them of all people?”
“It appears not.”
The Sannin looked thoughtful. He looked intimidating in the candlelight, having just switched bodies; his face wasn’t smooth and white as it was, and rather, his skin was peeling at the edges like old paint on a drywall. Kabuto thought it was rather disgusting, but was no longer affected by it the way he used to be.
Orochimaru finally spoke, and his voice was still rather fragile. “Regardless, we cannot let him assume that I have lost interest in him.”
Kabuto looked up into the Sannin’s eye, his unsaid question dancing between the two.
The older man’s eyebrow cocked. “I have said, Kabuto, that my destiny is in that boy. I will have his body, and with it, his eyes.”
Kabuto’s eyes slowly peered up toward the other; he would admit that hearing such words out of the Sannin was just a little strange. Orochimaru was and had always been a practical, methodical person, hardly one for moral excesses, but the way he spoke about the Uchiha boy was slightly disconcerting. It reminded him almost of the older man’s previous fondness of Kimimaro. Regardless, he nodded. “How will you let him know that you haven’t given up on him, Orochimaru-sama?”
The Sannin paused, his withering skin shuddering a little with movement as he tilted his head to one side. A long silence passed between them, and Kabuto’s eyes were bleak and dark as he watched the other until he was ready to speak. Finally, he did.
“Send out two new recruits to attack one or more of Sasuke-kun’s comrades.”
Kabuto blinked. “Pardon?”
“You heard what I said, Kabuto.” Orochimaru simpered. “Make sure they are wearing their forehead protectors.”
“I’m sure you realize that most of our new recruits are…rather deficient in skill? I doubt they could take out any of Uchiha’s comrades.”
“I am perfectly aware of that, Kabuto.”
Kabuto’s lips remained pursed as he watched Orochimaru through beady eyes. He could never understand him. He was so inhuman that it was hard to wrap a mind around whatever grandiose plans he had in the making. The Sannin was quite pragmatic and thoughtful, spending a lot of time sitting quietly and thinking to himself over a cup of warm tea. He was always thinking about something, and he always had an idea for everything.
This was hardly any different. Ever since he had discovered that Uchiha Itachi had a considerably more impressionable younger brother, Orochimaru had been thinking and plotting especially how to gain the boy in order to use his precious eyes. And of course, even Kabuto himself couldn’t deny the fact that Sasuke was surprisingly beautiful, even for a boy his age. Perhaps Orochimaru craved that beauty as well.
Whatever the Sannin had in mind, Kabuto decided that he would do. He was not particularly loyal to Orochimaru, nor was he particularly sympathetic to Konoha. For the moment, he would do as he was told, if only to see how everything would end.
After a few moments of his own thinking, Kabuto got up, bowed, and made his way to the door.
“It will be done, Orochimaru-sama.” He heard himself say.
“Good.” The older man replied calmly. “Look to it, then.”
Kabuto nodded, slid open the door and slipped outside. The candlelight reflecting back against Orochimaru’s peeling skin was the last thing he saw before it slid shut once more.
-----
Naruto felt a pair of dark eyes burning through the early-morning adornment perched atop his messy blonde hair.
He and Sasuke sat at the dining table at about eight o’clock in the morning, eating their breakfast. Of course, eight was far, far too early for the blonde; it was Saturday and he was far more used to getting up at around one, or two, or three. Eight was horrible. Inhuman, almost. But the bastard had woken up at six, and had made his way into the kitchen, where he began to steam some rice and make all sorts of clamoring noises in the process of doing so. Naruto had awoken and had no choice but to eat breakfast when it was made.
“What the hell are you looking at?” Naruto turned sleepy eyes to Sasuke’s alert ones.
Sasuke simply gave him another one of his condescending looks. “Your hat, dumbass.”
Naruto simply grinned. “My nightcap? I like it. It suits someone as cute as me.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes. “It enhances your idiocy, if that’s what you mean.”
“You’re just jealous that you’re not this adorable.”
“Tell that to Sakura and Ino.”
Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s just for now. Wait till I get older. I’ll be one sexy bastard.” He grinned cheekily. “And you’ll end up a pretty boy like your brother.”
Sasuke’s eyes darkened and Naruto immediately wished he had left the last bit of his statement out. He waved a hand, as if to take back the statement and placate the Uchiha. “Or maybe not. Pass the rice.”
Sasuke simply shot the other a dark look, before pushing out of the chair and standing up. “Get it yourself. I’m going for a walk.”
Naruto scowled a little, getting up as well. “Hey, you can’t do that. I have to go with you.”
“Said who?” Sasuke’s eyes flashed darkly.
“Kakashi-sensei.”
“Fuck him.”
“Sasuke,” Naruto started, his face sobering. “I’m coming with you. I don’t want you to do anything reckless. I won’t let you.”
“I don’t care what you want.” Sasuke’s lips were curled in an all-too-familiar sneer.
Naruto frowned. “If you go off on your own, I have to alert the ANBU. It’s either them or me, Sasuke.”
Sasuke’s white face was somber, his shapely eyes narrowed. When he did not receive an answer, Naruto cautiously slipped into his bedroom to change into his usual day clothes. He had figured that usually when Sasuke was silent in response to a question, it either meant that he felt that he was above conversing with someone or that he was forced to acknowledge something that he did not want to. Naruto assumed that this was a case of the latter.
They left the apartment complex together, Sasuke walking a little ahead of Naruto. The dark-haired boy’s face was drawn into a serious expression, as always, and Naruto kept tossing tiny little glances at the other. He tried to stop doing so, since Sasuke had noticed and tossed him a glare after the third or so, but he was feeling far too conscious and exposed; perhaps not physically.
Sasuke’s “walk” was, as Naruto learned, uncannily similar to a brooding session combined with aerobic exercise. Sasuke didn’t really glance at his surroundings; his gaze seemed to be fixed on a point about six feet in front of him. His brows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched. Naruto knew he was thinking, but of what, he couldn’t touch.
Watching Sasuke brood was amusing for the first ten or so minutes. Fifteen minutes after their walk had begun, Naruto began to get bored. He was restless, looking around rather impatiently while his companion remained focused on something abstract. It was rather unnerving and awkward.
Time passed, and Naruto began to vaguely regret his responsibilities as Sasuke’s temporary caretaker. He was a thirteen-year-old boy, regardless of everything that had happened, and he was immeasurably bored. Though there was something undeniably comforting about Sasuke’s presence there, next to him, close to him. Naruto let out a small sigh.
“Naruto!”
Something broke his train of thoughts. He looked up to see some familiar faces up ahead; Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino were walking up toward them. Apparently, Sasuke must have noticed as well, since Naruto saw his head shoot up for a moment before abruptly turning to the side.
“Shikamaru! Chouji, Ino!” Naruto waved back and grinned. He was relieved; at least there was some distraction from Sasuke’s taciturn nature. A small glance to the side proved that the darker-haired boy was looking rather irate.
Shikamaru made his way toward them, and Naruto smiled. However, the Nara’s eyes fell upon Sasuke, and his brow twitched. For a moment, Naruto thought that Sasuke’s gaze fell a little more. Chouji followed as did Ino, though the blonde girl had not yet attached herself to Sasuke’s arm. They were all behaving differently around him, and Naruto almost felt the awkwardness his friend was bound to be feeling.
“How are your wounds, Chouji?” Naruto asked, deciding to pull on a grin, as if to deflect any of the other three’s tense emotions from Sasuke.
Chouji nodded, his mouth littered with potato chip flakes. “They’re healing. I’m feeling a lot better.”
Naruto smiled in his boyish manner. “That’s good. I think Sakura-chan was asking about you two.”
Shikamaru nodded as well, his voice drawling. “Yeah, we’re both doing fine. Nothing to worry about.”
The four remained silent, and Naruto knew what was going on in the other three’s minds, and he knew that all their mental gazes were on Sasuke’s arrogant face. It was Ino who butted in at that moment, and as expected, she pointed at the metaphorical elephant in the room between them. “How’s Sasuke-kun doing?” Her gaze was sincere as it grazed over the attractive, quiet boy beside him.
Shikamaru’s head jerked a little in Sasuke’s direction. Chouji stopped eating for a moment as if to listen for an answer. Naruto hesitated, waiting for the other boy to answer. When he did not, Naruto spoke for him: “Sasuke’s fine. He’s staying with me for a little while until Kakashi-sensei gets back from his mission.”
“That’s good to hear!” Ino smiled, and Naruto fought the impulse to frown. Shikamaru and Chouji remained silent, and Naruto thought he saw Sasuke’s head droop a little. “If Sasuke-kun needs anything,” she started to say, her gaze still falling on the Uchiha’s face, as if asking him to look at her, “he can come see any of us if you’re not there. We’d be more than happy to take care of him for a while.”
Naruto grinned. “Y-Yeah.” He hesitated, and an awkward silence filled the space between them. He knew that Sasuke would never allow himself to be ‘taken care of,’ as Ino put it. He didn’t do well in captivity.
“W-Well, anyway,” Naruto started again, trying to get the attention off his wayward friend, “what were you three up to?”
“We were going to see the three from Suna.” Shikamaru answered, his hands in his pockets. “They’re leaving soon, but we thought we should give them our thanks before they do.”
Naruto nodded. “Oh, right! When are they leaving?”
“Tomorrow, sometime.” Chouji answered, after swallowing a mouthful of chips.
“Around noon.” Shikamaru elaborated.
“Oh, alright,” Naruto started, “I’ll come out with you then. I’d like to give them my thanks as well.”
Shikamaru nodded. “That’s fine. I suppose we’ll be out by the gates.” He turned his head to the side as he casually glanced at his surroundings, and Naruto grinned.
“Yeah, so I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah.” The brunette nodded. “So we’ll get going then. We told them we’d visit at around one, and we’re already five minutes late.”
“You’re always, late, Shikamaru!” Ino rolled her eyes at her teammate’s comment, crossing her arms. “It’s nothing new at all.”
Shikamaru shrugged in his nonchalant fashion. “Whatever.” He glanced at Naruto. “I guess we’ll get going. See you later, Naruto. Sasuke.”
Sasuke blinked when his name was mentioned, but made no move to acknowledge the other. Naruto pursed his lips. After everything that Shikamaru and Chouji and Ino had done for him, couldn’t he be just a little more grateful? Did he just have to act so proud and arrogant all the time?
Team Ten made its way past him and his aloof companion, and Naruto shot Sasuke an emotional glance just as he started walking once more. “You know that Shikamaru and Chouji were a part of your retrieval team.”
Sasuke shrugged.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He was annoyed and irate, and he wished so dearly that Sasuke would stop being so proud for once.
At that point, the Uchiha turned and started walking back to Naruto’s apartment. Naruto himself didn’t notice as he followed him, since he was too filled with heat and anger from Sasuke’s cold apathy.
“It’s supposed to mean that I don’t care.” Sasuke finally responded, and tossed Naruto a glare, before turning his head back ahead and down. “It means that I don’t care what relation they had to my previous activities.”
Naruto opened his mouth and closed it once more. He had thought that perhaps Sasuke could at least find it in himself to be angry at Shikamaru and Chouji for stopping him before he went to Orochimaru. Apparently, the dark-haired boy couldn’t even find it in himself to feel that. Naruto wasn’t sure whether he felt hurt or betrayed by his friend’s lack of emotion.
The walk back was quiet; Sasuke was still and reserved as always. Surprisingly, Naruto was as well. His friend’s reactions were eating at him. Even more so, he couldn’t understand why Sasuke was acting in such a way. He was no longer the strong, confident adolescent he once knew. He was weakening in spirit, and Naruto knew that he was making himself suffer inside. What he didn’t know was why.
Naruto himself had always been a particularly optimistic person. He was always upbeat and he never let himself get down on anything, because in the end, he would triumph. It was just a fact of life. He was zealous without being too cocky; he worked hard to achieve the goals he wanted to. Whereas Sasuke, on the contrary, didn’t seem to have that endless supply of diligence, and it unnerved Naruto to no end how his best friend could just give up on himself so easily. He simply couldn’t wrap his mind around how Sasuke could so freely leave Konoha to seek power through alternative means. It made no sense to him. The only conclusion to be drawn from these actions was that Sasuke was a coward, and Naruto refused to believe that, because Sasuke was his best friend.
He tossed a glance to the boy beside him, and felt his lips pressing into a frown. Sasuke had always been perfect. Not only was he a prodigy, he was beautiful. Naruto had always known that. His skin was delicate and pale, his eyes dark and lustrous and seductively almond. His hair was perfectly settled atop his head, reflecting blue sometimes in the sunlight. Naruto could almost accept why the girls of Konoha were so entranced by him. He was the epitome of attractiveness. He was sublime in beauty.
Sasuke had always been despondent as well. When they first started at the Academy, Sasuke had been quiet, and surprisingly adept at just about everything. The girls swooned over him from a very young age, but he ignored them all. He seemed so strong then, because he could do everything, and did it with style. And Naruto knew he had tried his hardest for it; he would come across the Uchiha practicing with his shuriken during break times.
He would have never guessed that Sasuke would ever turn out the way he did.
“Hey. Sasuke.” Naruto glanced sideways at his friend as he reached into his pocket for the key to his apartment door as they finally came back, before jamming the key into the keyhole. When Sasuke didn’t answer, he pushed the door open and walked inside, Sasuke in tow. “I want to ask you something.”
He pushed the door closed and glanced back to watch the Uchiha walk toward his room. Naruto scowled. “Asshole! I said I was going to ask you something.”
Sasuke didn’t even turn around. “Then ask me, idiot.”
Naruto softened a little and paused, hesitating. “W-Well-I was just thinking…” he started to talk, and felt heat rising to his face. “Sasuke. Why-what made you go to Orochimaru?”
Silence dropped between them. Sasuke paused for a moment, and kept on walking.
Naruto growled and took an aggressive step toward his friend’s back. “Sasuke! I asked you a question!”
The Uchiha simply turned his graceful head and gave Naruto a sneer that almost made his self-worth flicker. “Fuck off.”
Some anger flared inside Naruto at those words. Fuck off, he said? Fuck off? Never. He would never fuck off, if it would make Sasuke do such things as he had been as of late. He never would, if it meant that Sasuke wouldn’t give his body up to Orochimaru.
“I won’t!” He yelled, his clear eyes clouding with rage and grief. “Why won’t you answer the damn question? Are you too afraid of the answer? Is that it, Sasuke?”
That made the other boy turn around completely to face him. His shoulders were relaxed and there was some lax emotion on his face. Naruto waited for the answer, his body leaning forward and his fists clenched.
“That’s not it, Naruto.” His voice finally came, deep and quiet. Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “Just shut up for once in your fucking life and let me be.”
Before Naruto could stop himself, he had lunged forward, his hands gripping the other’s shoulders in anger, shoving him backward and knocking him off his feet, pressing his back against the wall. Naruto himself fell down with him, his knees scraping against the floor as he held the Uchiha in place.
“Don’t tell me to leave you alone, Sasuke, not after all this!” His voice was loud and it irritated him how Sasuke’s expression remained the same. He knew the other’s shoulders probably hurt from being shoved up so angrily against the wall, though he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Damn it, Sasuke, you’re so fucking stupid, you know that? Everyone knows you’re an excellent ninja. Everyone in Konoha acknowledges your talent! Why would you just ignore all that?”
Sasuke’s expression simply darkened, his dark eyes dulling. “Konoha’s acknowledgement hasn’t gotten me any closer to my goals.”
“There are other ways to achieve your goal than to just go throw yourself into darkness, you idiot!” Naruto noted the hint of desperation in his voice, and it made him cringe, almost. “Your brother just isn’t worth all this!”
Sasuke’s eyes flared and widened as he lifted his head to meet the eyes of his friend. Naruto was slightly taken aback: there was life in those eyes again. When he spoke, his voice was loud, clear, and violent. “What the hell would you know about it?” His voice rose as a hand came around to grip Naruto’s collar. “You don’t understand what this is about! You don’t understand what is between that man and I!”
Naruto couldn’t bring himself to speak for a moment at the anger that was in Sasuke’s eyes. There was hatred and dead ambition floating in the deep abyss held there, and the blonde boy’s gaze softened.
“Yeah, I don’t know.” He admitted softly, his eyes locking with the other boy’s darker ones. “But…I do know what’s between us, Sasuke. Between you, and me, and Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei. And that’s the most precious thing in the world to me right now.”
Sasuke’s dark gaze did not change. He simply glanced up with some disturbing mix of apathy and slow-spreading anger. “Then I will take that precious thing from you, Naruto, if that’s what it takes in order to kill him.”
“You bastard!” Naruto felt a sting at the back of his eyes, and his voice sounded strained from the lump in his throat. How could Sasuke say such a thing? Moreover, how could he say it so emotionlessly? Naruto felt his heart hurt, and he tightened his grip on Sasuke’s shoulders, leaning into his face with closed eyes that threatened to spill over.
“How can you say that?” His voice was trembling, and Naruto couldn’t bring himself to care for dignity in front of Sasuke’s emotionless gaze. “How can you say that to my face, Sasuke? After everything we’ve done this past year?”
Naruto opened his eyes, and what greeted him was a pair of cold eyes. He felt a wave of tears slip down his marked cheeks and Sasuke’s velvety voice resounded once more.
“Don’t get so close to my face.”
“Fuck you, I will!” he did so, as two tears slipped down his face and dripped onto Sasuke’s shirt.
Naruto thought that, for a brief moment, if he looked deep enough into those dusky eyes, he could see a part of Sasuke that was crying too. Without thinking, a hand reached out to touch the cheek where Sasuke’s imaginary tear would have been, and before Sasuke could flinch and move away, and before he himself could stop to think about what would have been the more reasonable thing to do, Naruto leaned forward, close enough to bump his lips against the soft white flesh of Sasuke’s mouth.
A part of the blonde was surprised that his porcelain skin was so warm. His heart overflowed and he pressed those lips harder, and he could feel Sasuke’s displeasure seep through his skin as the other boy’s lithe fingers tightened dangerously around either arm. Sasuke made a protesting, indignant noise in the back of his throat and Naruto thought it was so, so erotic.
He wanted to pry that mouth open and taste the defiant boy from the inside; to make him succumb to the desire to be loved and cherished, and remove his defenses against the pressure of friendship. He pushed his lips harder against his wan mouth, and started a bit when he felt teeth clamp down on his bottom lip. Something coppery and nauseating dripped onto his tongue and he felt Sasuke moving; the next feeling he was acutely aware of was the thud of the back of his head against the same wall, and a lack of air in his lungs as he felt a knee connect with his abdomen.
The warmth of Sasuke’s body was removed and Naruto peered upward to see Sasuke standing, some cold look in his eyes and the stark comparison of blood on his lips and the white of his cheek.
Naruto’s abdomen still ached and his breaths came shallow still as he looked up into those still, dark eyes. He waited for the harsh words, or perhaps more physicality, the self-defensive things he was so used to from his friend.
Instead, Sasuke turned from him and walked away.
Naruto felt a pang inside him somewhere when he felt the door to Sasuke’s room click closed.
Title: An Elegy of Candles
Rating: PG-13 for the most part, with a few R-rated chapters.
Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke. Some light Orochimaru x Sasuke, Shikamaru x Temari, and later implied Lee x Sakura.
Warnings: Yaoi, shouta-con, slight non-con, angst.
Archives: Fanfiction.net, Adultfanfiction.net, Livejournal (user: mercurial-flux).
Summary: [ NaruSasu ] Kakashi arrives in time at the Valley of the End, and Naruto struggles to keep his friend from succumbing to darkness.
Author’s Email: tsubasa.oscura@gmail.com (Keep flames to the reviews, please.)
-----
Chapter Two: Fear and Love
“It is much more secure to be feared than loved.”
Niccolò Machiavelli
-----
Sasuke was pouting, and he knew it. In his defense, however, it was a refined pout, with his bottom lip protruding a just little, his brows furrowing delicately and his eyes flashing annoyance. It certainly wasn’t helping his irritation that a certain silver-haired ex-teacher of his was walking a little ahead of him, the happy curve of his visible eye exuding cheer. Sasuke had two packed bags in his hands; one was filled with clothes and the other with personal paraphernalia. Kakashi had even been kind enough to offer to hold some of his things for him as they left his home. As a response, Sasuke would have loved to hit him with the luggage, but thought better of it; he doubted he could land a hit, anyhow.
The long trek to Naruto’s apartment was a fairly uncomfortable one, though Sasuke got the feeling that Kakashi was unperturbed, and, rather, enthused in some malicious way. The boy couldn’t help but scowl; he felt as if he was a burden to be passed around from one person to another. It made him feel useless, helpless and secondary. He had felt like that before, when he was very young, and he did not like feeling it again. He lowered his eyes.
“Sasuke, if you want, I’ll hold at least one of your bags.” Kakashi’s voice was calm and mellow and for some reason, Sasuke despised it.
“I can handle them myself.” Sasuke uttered the words through gritted teeth.
“Of course, of course.”
The two continued in silence for a while. Kakashi’s eye was open and perfectly circular now, and Sasuke’s remained lit in irritation.
Needless to say, Sasuke wasn’t particularly thrilled about staying with Naruto. Their previous encounter had been just a little awkward and angry; Naruto had gone on about how Sasuke needed to move on, and Sasuke retaliated coldly and demanded that he and Sakura to leave. He was humiliated. Who was that idiot boy to tell him what he should forget and remember? “Just forget about it,” he had said, referring to the beginnings of their climactic fight at the Valley of the End, and Sasuke was furious. He couldn’t forget. He never forgot anything.
Not to mention, Naruto was, unfortunately, much more talkative than Kakashi. Sasuke’s expression darkened; he knew that the blonde would press him to speak more about his actions as of late and ask why, how, who, and what propelled him to try to leave Konoha.
Sasuke certainly would never admit that a part of it had to do with the blonde himself. Not even to his own person; the remnants of his shattered pride simply wouldn’t allow it.
Walking the rest of the way in silence, Sasuke and Kakashi made their way up a flight of stairs to where Naruto took residence. Kakashi had mentioned before they left that he had called up the blonde and asked if this was alright; the shorter boy apparently had no problem with it. Sasuke’s face fell dark. What was Naruto thinking?
“Now, now, Sasuke-kun,” Kakashi turned to him and smiled cheerfully after he knocked on the door. “Don’t be so grim.”
Sasuke only frowned deeper in retaliation.
Kakashi sighed in what could have been exasperation as the door slid open and the two were met by a tousle of blonde hair and a sunkissed face. Naruto seemed as cheerful as always, the obnoxiously large grin painted onto his face.
“Sasuke! Kakashi-sensei! Come in!” His voice was as uplifted and excited as he sounded most of the time; Sasuke’s brows furrowed since he had expected him to be at least a little more somber after everything that had happened between them. But Naruto seemed unaffected. He had that uncanny ability to stick to someone like something beyond glue; Naruto remained steadfastly Sasuke’s friend, and it didn’t seem that anything would dissuade him.
Sasuke stayed where he was even after he was invited in; he wouldn’t step a foot inside that apartment until he was told twice, or maybe threatened. Kakashi did the same, though did so with a charming expression on the visible quarter of his face.
“Actually, Naruto,” Kakashi started, looking cheerier than Sasuke would have liked, “I’m afraid I can’t join you two at the moment. My team and I-for the mission-were going to meet up somewhere to…discuss our…plan.” Sasuke felt his left eye twitch just slightly. “So I’d better get going then.” The Uchiha could almost feel the strength of his ex-teacher’s smile beating against the side of his face.
“Eh?” Naruto started, an eyebrow raising in incredulity, but he was cut off.
“Good.” Kakashi smiled, responding before anything else could be said, and put a hand to the side of his forehead, reminiscent of a salute. “I’ll be going then. Have fun, you two. Take care of Sasuke, Naruto.”
Naruto grinned, and Sasuke thought that the other boy’s face was a little pinker than usual. “Yes, Kakashi-sensei!”
Sasuke sighed and turned to face the shorter boy before him with a steely expression, to which Naruto didn’t respond. He moved aside and motioned for Sasuke to come in. He had a smile on his face, though Sasuke could tell that it was forced: his brows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched. The Uchiha almost felt degraded by the very fact that the other was trying to treat him the way he used to. It was almost as if he was refusing to realize how he had changed. Anger and pride stirred within him and he stepped inside.
-----
Naruto was a little annoyed as Sasuke took a graceful step into his home, largely with the way his friend carried himself. The Uchiha looked irate and his almond eyes were filled with some disdain that the blonde decided he didn’t want to comprehend. Nevertheless, he tried to be civil, at least for the time being. It wasn’t really like him to bother putting up a front, but a part of him wanted to avoid another confrontation between the two. There had been enough confronting going on between them already, and Naruto didn’t want to end up in another tiff with the other boy. He was just here to stay for a while. Just for a while.
“So,” Naruto broke the air of uncomfortable quietness that surrounded the two. “I don’t really have a lot of space in my apartment. But I do have a small guest room, and you can stay there.”
Sasuke didn’t respond, and his face was turned away, his eyes fluttering disparagingly over the messy couch. Naruto was still annoyed.
“What are you staring at?” The blonde snapped in irritation.
Sasuke’s eyes had drifted away from the couch, to the food-stained table. He turned to the blonde, his voice condescending. “It’s a pigsty in here.”
Naruto scowled. “Well, get used to it! It’s not that messy!”
The Uchiha’s lip curled in a sneer. “Well, they always did say that the condition of the person’s surroundings reflects on the person.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Sasuke simply shrugged. “Figure it out.”
Naruto growled in a feral manner, his eyebrows knitted together. “Don’t be a smartass, Sasuke!”
It seemed that Sasuke had decided not to dignify that with a direct answer, since he remained quiet as he picked up his bags again.
“Shut up and show me my room.” He watched the other derisively, and Naruto scowled.
“Alright, bastard.”
Naruto’s clear eyes shone through with disgruntlement as he started to walk toward a door close to the main room, with Sasuke in tow. For some reason, the blonde felt a little uncomfortable with the dark-haired boy standing behind him; perhaps because he was half-expecting the other to attempt to kill him at any given instant. But he didn’t dare turn back to see. He wouldn’t let Sasuke intimidate him. He doubted he even could intimidate him anymore.
It pained Naruto to admit it to himself, but Sasuke wasn’t the same. Or maybe he had always been this way, and he had never noticed it. Either way, the boy behind him was now a complete stranger to him; he was dark and hostile, and Naruto had a stirring feeling in his gut that Sasuke wasn’t quite sane anymore. Because lately, everything was about being better than everyone else. Everything was about power, and hatred, and all those derogatory things that spewed out from between the dark-haired boy’s perfect white lips. Naruto wasn’t sure where it came from all of a sudden or why, but it hurt him to see his best friend so buried underneath all the black things in the world.
He pushed aside the door to reveal a rather small room, with light blue walls and a single rectangular window peering out into the busy streets of Konoha below. It was not decorated, but it was in considerably less disarray than the rest of the house, and Naruto saw Sasuke’s scrutinizing eye watch every little corner as if to make sure that the room was acceptable.
Naruto rolled his eyes. “So? Do you want it or do you plan to camp out in front of the apartment door?”
Sasuke’s glare was decisive as he put his bags down inside the room and slid the door shut in the other’s face. Naruto growled, mumbling rather loudly about ungratefulness before turning on his heels. How Sakura put up with Sasuke was a divine mystery; living with the other boy was going to take a lot more patience than he initially suspected.
-----
Two shadows fell along the stone walls and candlelight flickered alluringly, piercing the small room with light. It was nighttime and most of the town was asleep, though deep in the hollows of the Sound, Yakushi Kabuto and his master were awake. They sat still, the silver-haired man with his perfectly round bifocals glimmering with the light reflected off them, watching the older man in the room. Orochimaru watched him expectantly. Kabuto lowered his eyes, though not from fear.
“Uchiha was stopped. He couldn’t leave.” The younger man’s voice was clear and unwavering.
“Was he stopped?” Came the soft, fluttering reply.
“Yes. He was stopped at the Valley of the End by his former comrades.”
Orochimaru’s thin lips curled upwards. “By his former comrades? Sasuke-kun couldn’t even escape them of all people?”
“It appears not.”
The Sannin looked thoughtful. He looked intimidating in the candlelight, having just switched bodies; his face wasn’t smooth and white as it was, and rather, his skin was peeling at the edges like old paint on a drywall. Kabuto thought it was rather disgusting, but was no longer affected by it the way he used to be.
Orochimaru finally spoke, and his voice was still rather fragile. “Regardless, we cannot let him assume that I have lost interest in him.”
Kabuto looked up into the Sannin’s eye, his unsaid question dancing between the two.
The older man’s eyebrow cocked. “I have said, Kabuto, that my destiny is in that boy. I will have his body, and with it, his eyes.”
Kabuto’s eyes slowly peered up toward the other; he would admit that hearing such words out of the Sannin was just a little strange. Orochimaru was and had always been a practical, methodical person, hardly one for moral excesses, but the way he spoke about the Uchiha boy was slightly disconcerting. It reminded him almost of the older man’s previous fondness of Kimimaro. Regardless, he nodded. “How will you let him know that you haven’t given up on him, Orochimaru-sama?”
The Sannin paused, his withering skin shuddering a little with movement as he tilted his head to one side. A long silence passed between them, and Kabuto’s eyes were bleak and dark as he watched the other until he was ready to speak. Finally, he did.
“Send out two new recruits to attack one or more of Sasuke-kun’s comrades.”
Kabuto blinked. “Pardon?”
“You heard what I said, Kabuto.” Orochimaru simpered. “Make sure they are wearing their forehead protectors.”
“I’m sure you realize that most of our new recruits are…rather deficient in skill? I doubt they could take out any of Uchiha’s comrades.”
“I am perfectly aware of that, Kabuto.”
Kabuto’s lips remained pursed as he watched Orochimaru through beady eyes. He could never understand him. He was so inhuman that it was hard to wrap a mind around whatever grandiose plans he had in the making. The Sannin was quite pragmatic and thoughtful, spending a lot of time sitting quietly and thinking to himself over a cup of warm tea. He was always thinking about something, and he always had an idea for everything.
This was hardly any different. Ever since he had discovered that Uchiha Itachi had a considerably more impressionable younger brother, Orochimaru had been thinking and plotting especially how to gain the boy in order to use his precious eyes. And of course, even Kabuto himself couldn’t deny the fact that Sasuke was surprisingly beautiful, even for a boy his age. Perhaps Orochimaru craved that beauty as well.
Whatever the Sannin had in mind, Kabuto decided that he would do. He was not particularly loyal to Orochimaru, nor was he particularly sympathetic to Konoha. For the moment, he would do as he was told, if only to see how everything would end.
After a few moments of his own thinking, Kabuto got up, bowed, and made his way to the door.
“It will be done, Orochimaru-sama.” He heard himself say.
“Good.” The older man replied calmly. “Look to it, then.”
Kabuto nodded, slid open the door and slipped outside. The candlelight reflecting back against Orochimaru’s peeling skin was the last thing he saw before it slid shut once more.
-----
Naruto felt a pair of dark eyes burning through the early-morning adornment perched atop his messy blonde hair.
He and Sasuke sat at the dining table at about eight o’clock in the morning, eating their breakfast. Of course, eight was far, far too early for the blonde; it was Saturday and he was far more used to getting up at around one, or two, or three. Eight was horrible. Inhuman, almost. But the bastard had woken up at six, and had made his way into the kitchen, where he began to steam some rice and make all sorts of clamoring noises in the process of doing so. Naruto had awoken and had no choice but to eat breakfast when it was made.
“What the hell are you looking at?” Naruto turned sleepy eyes to Sasuke’s alert ones.
Sasuke simply gave him another one of his condescending looks. “Your hat, dumbass.”
Naruto simply grinned. “My nightcap? I like it. It suits someone as cute as me.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes. “It enhances your idiocy, if that’s what you mean.”
“You’re just jealous that you’re not this adorable.”
“Tell that to Sakura and Ino.”
Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed. “That’s just for now. Wait till I get older. I’ll be one sexy bastard.” He grinned cheekily. “And you’ll end up a pretty boy like your brother.”
Sasuke’s eyes darkened and Naruto immediately wished he had left the last bit of his statement out. He waved a hand, as if to take back the statement and placate the Uchiha. “Or maybe not. Pass the rice.”
Sasuke simply shot the other a dark look, before pushing out of the chair and standing up. “Get it yourself. I’m going for a walk.”
Naruto scowled a little, getting up as well. “Hey, you can’t do that. I have to go with you.”
“Said who?” Sasuke’s eyes flashed darkly.
“Kakashi-sensei.”
“Fuck him.”
“Sasuke,” Naruto started, his face sobering. “I’m coming with you. I don’t want you to do anything reckless. I won’t let you.”
“I don’t care what you want.” Sasuke’s lips were curled in an all-too-familiar sneer.
Naruto frowned. “If you go off on your own, I have to alert the ANBU. It’s either them or me, Sasuke.”
Sasuke’s white face was somber, his shapely eyes narrowed. When he did not receive an answer, Naruto cautiously slipped into his bedroom to change into his usual day clothes. He had figured that usually when Sasuke was silent in response to a question, it either meant that he felt that he was above conversing with someone or that he was forced to acknowledge something that he did not want to. Naruto assumed that this was a case of the latter.
They left the apartment complex together, Sasuke walking a little ahead of Naruto. The dark-haired boy’s face was drawn into a serious expression, as always, and Naruto kept tossing tiny little glances at the other. He tried to stop doing so, since Sasuke had noticed and tossed him a glare after the third or so, but he was feeling far too conscious and exposed; perhaps not physically.
Sasuke’s “walk” was, as Naruto learned, uncannily similar to a brooding session combined with aerobic exercise. Sasuke didn’t really glance at his surroundings; his gaze seemed to be fixed on a point about six feet in front of him. His brows were furrowed and his jaw was clenched. Naruto knew he was thinking, but of what, he couldn’t touch.
Watching Sasuke brood was amusing for the first ten or so minutes. Fifteen minutes after their walk had begun, Naruto began to get bored. He was restless, looking around rather impatiently while his companion remained focused on something abstract. It was rather unnerving and awkward.
Time passed, and Naruto began to vaguely regret his responsibilities as Sasuke’s temporary caretaker. He was a thirteen-year-old boy, regardless of everything that had happened, and he was immeasurably bored. Though there was something undeniably comforting about Sasuke’s presence there, next to him, close to him. Naruto let out a small sigh.
“Naruto!”
Something broke his train of thoughts. He looked up to see some familiar faces up ahead; Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino were walking up toward them. Apparently, Sasuke must have noticed as well, since Naruto saw his head shoot up for a moment before abruptly turning to the side.
“Shikamaru! Chouji, Ino!” Naruto waved back and grinned. He was relieved; at least there was some distraction from Sasuke’s taciturn nature. A small glance to the side proved that the darker-haired boy was looking rather irate.
Shikamaru made his way toward them, and Naruto smiled. However, the Nara’s eyes fell upon Sasuke, and his brow twitched. For a moment, Naruto thought that Sasuke’s gaze fell a little more. Chouji followed as did Ino, though the blonde girl had not yet attached herself to Sasuke’s arm. They were all behaving differently around him, and Naruto almost felt the awkwardness his friend was bound to be feeling.
“How are your wounds, Chouji?” Naruto asked, deciding to pull on a grin, as if to deflect any of the other three’s tense emotions from Sasuke.
Chouji nodded, his mouth littered with potato chip flakes. “They’re healing. I’m feeling a lot better.”
Naruto smiled in his boyish manner. “That’s good. I think Sakura-chan was asking about you two.”
Shikamaru nodded as well, his voice drawling. “Yeah, we’re both doing fine. Nothing to worry about.”
The four remained silent, and Naruto knew what was going on in the other three’s minds, and he knew that all their mental gazes were on Sasuke’s arrogant face. It was Ino who butted in at that moment, and as expected, she pointed at the metaphorical elephant in the room between them. “How’s Sasuke-kun doing?” Her gaze was sincere as it grazed over the attractive, quiet boy beside him.
Shikamaru’s head jerked a little in Sasuke’s direction. Chouji stopped eating for a moment as if to listen for an answer. Naruto hesitated, waiting for the other boy to answer. When he did not, Naruto spoke for him: “Sasuke’s fine. He’s staying with me for a little while until Kakashi-sensei gets back from his mission.”
“That’s good to hear!” Ino smiled, and Naruto fought the impulse to frown. Shikamaru and Chouji remained silent, and Naruto thought he saw Sasuke’s head droop a little. “If Sasuke-kun needs anything,” she started to say, her gaze still falling on the Uchiha’s face, as if asking him to look at her, “he can come see any of us if you’re not there. We’d be more than happy to take care of him for a while.”
Naruto grinned. “Y-Yeah.” He hesitated, and an awkward silence filled the space between them. He knew that Sasuke would never allow himself to be ‘taken care of,’ as Ino put it. He didn’t do well in captivity.
“W-Well, anyway,” Naruto started again, trying to get the attention off his wayward friend, “what were you three up to?”
“We were going to see the three from Suna.” Shikamaru answered, his hands in his pockets. “They’re leaving soon, but we thought we should give them our thanks before they do.”
Naruto nodded. “Oh, right! When are they leaving?”
“Tomorrow, sometime.” Chouji answered, after swallowing a mouthful of chips.
“Around noon.” Shikamaru elaborated.
“Oh, alright,” Naruto started, “I’ll come out with you then. I’d like to give them my thanks as well.”
Shikamaru nodded. “That’s fine. I suppose we’ll be out by the gates.” He turned his head to the side as he casually glanced at his surroundings, and Naruto grinned.
“Yeah, so I’ll see you then.”
“Yeah.” The brunette nodded. “So we’ll get going then. We told them we’d visit at around one, and we’re already five minutes late.”
“You’re always, late, Shikamaru!” Ino rolled her eyes at her teammate’s comment, crossing her arms. “It’s nothing new at all.”
Shikamaru shrugged in his nonchalant fashion. “Whatever.” He glanced at Naruto. “I guess we’ll get going. See you later, Naruto. Sasuke.”
Sasuke blinked when his name was mentioned, but made no move to acknowledge the other. Naruto pursed his lips. After everything that Shikamaru and Chouji and Ino had done for him, couldn’t he be just a little more grateful? Did he just have to act so proud and arrogant all the time?
Team Ten made its way past him and his aloof companion, and Naruto shot Sasuke an emotional glance just as he started walking once more. “You know that Shikamaru and Chouji were a part of your retrieval team.”
Sasuke shrugged.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He was annoyed and irate, and he wished so dearly that Sasuke would stop being so proud for once.
At that point, the Uchiha turned and started walking back to Naruto’s apartment. Naruto himself didn’t notice as he followed him, since he was too filled with heat and anger from Sasuke’s cold apathy.
“It’s supposed to mean that I don’t care.” Sasuke finally responded, and tossed Naruto a glare, before turning his head back ahead and down. “It means that I don’t care what relation they had to my previous activities.”
Naruto opened his mouth and closed it once more. He had thought that perhaps Sasuke could at least find it in himself to be angry at Shikamaru and Chouji for stopping him before he went to Orochimaru. Apparently, the dark-haired boy couldn’t even find it in himself to feel that. Naruto wasn’t sure whether he felt hurt or betrayed by his friend’s lack of emotion.
The walk back was quiet; Sasuke was still and reserved as always. Surprisingly, Naruto was as well. His friend’s reactions were eating at him. Even more so, he couldn’t understand why Sasuke was acting in such a way. He was no longer the strong, confident adolescent he once knew. He was weakening in spirit, and Naruto knew that he was making himself suffer inside. What he didn’t know was why.
Naruto himself had always been a particularly optimistic person. He was always upbeat and he never let himself get down on anything, because in the end, he would triumph. It was just a fact of life. He was zealous without being too cocky; he worked hard to achieve the goals he wanted to. Whereas Sasuke, on the contrary, didn’t seem to have that endless supply of diligence, and it unnerved Naruto to no end how his best friend could just give up on himself so easily. He simply couldn’t wrap his mind around how Sasuke could so freely leave Konoha to seek power through alternative means. It made no sense to him. The only conclusion to be drawn from these actions was that Sasuke was a coward, and Naruto refused to believe that, because Sasuke was his best friend.
He tossed a glance to the boy beside him, and felt his lips pressing into a frown. Sasuke had always been perfect. Not only was he a prodigy, he was beautiful. Naruto had always known that. His skin was delicate and pale, his eyes dark and lustrous and seductively almond. His hair was perfectly settled atop his head, reflecting blue sometimes in the sunlight. Naruto could almost accept why the girls of Konoha were so entranced by him. He was the epitome of attractiveness. He was sublime in beauty.
Sasuke had always been despondent as well. When they first started at the Academy, Sasuke had been quiet, and surprisingly adept at just about everything. The girls swooned over him from a very young age, but he ignored them all. He seemed so strong then, because he could do everything, and did it with style. And Naruto knew he had tried his hardest for it; he would come across the Uchiha practicing with his shuriken during break times.
He would have never guessed that Sasuke would ever turn out the way he did.
“Hey. Sasuke.” Naruto glanced sideways at his friend as he reached into his pocket for the key to his apartment door as they finally came back, before jamming the key into the keyhole. When Sasuke didn’t answer, he pushed the door open and walked inside, Sasuke in tow. “I want to ask you something.”
He pushed the door closed and glanced back to watch the Uchiha walk toward his room. Naruto scowled. “Asshole! I said I was going to ask you something.”
Sasuke didn’t even turn around. “Then ask me, idiot.”
Naruto softened a little and paused, hesitating. “W-Well-I was just thinking…” he started to talk, and felt heat rising to his face. “Sasuke. Why-what made you go to Orochimaru?”
Silence dropped between them. Sasuke paused for a moment, and kept on walking.
Naruto growled and took an aggressive step toward his friend’s back. “Sasuke! I asked you a question!”
The Uchiha simply turned his graceful head and gave Naruto a sneer that almost made his self-worth flicker. “Fuck off.”
Some anger flared inside Naruto at those words. Fuck off, he said? Fuck off? Never. He would never fuck off, if it would make Sasuke do such things as he had been as of late. He never would, if it meant that Sasuke wouldn’t give his body up to Orochimaru.
“I won’t!” He yelled, his clear eyes clouding with rage and grief. “Why won’t you answer the damn question? Are you too afraid of the answer? Is that it, Sasuke?”
That made the other boy turn around completely to face him. His shoulders were relaxed and there was some lax emotion on his face. Naruto waited for the answer, his body leaning forward and his fists clenched.
“That’s not it, Naruto.” His voice finally came, deep and quiet. Sasuke’s eyes narrowed. “Just shut up for once in your fucking life and let me be.”
Before Naruto could stop himself, he had lunged forward, his hands gripping the other’s shoulders in anger, shoving him backward and knocking him off his feet, pressing his back against the wall. Naruto himself fell down with him, his knees scraping against the floor as he held the Uchiha in place.
“Don’t tell me to leave you alone, Sasuke, not after all this!” His voice was loud and it irritated him how Sasuke’s expression remained the same. He knew the other’s shoulders probably hurt from being shoved up so angrily against the wall, though he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Damn it, Sasuke, you’re so fucking stupid, you know that? Everyone knows you’re an excellent ninja. Everyone in Konoha acknowledges your talent! Why would you just ignore all that?”
Sasuke’s expression simply darkened, his dark eyes dulling. “Konoha’s acknowledgement hasn’t gotten me any closer to my goals.”
“There are other ways to achieve your goal than to just go throw yourself into darkness, you idiot!” Naruto noted the hint of desperation in his voice, and it made him cringe, almost. “Your brother just isn’t worth all this!”
Sasuke’s eyes flared and widened as he lifted his head to meet the eyes of his friend. Naruto was slightly taken aback: there was life in those eyes again. When he spoke, his voice was loud, clear, and violent. “What the hell would you know about it?” His voice rose as a hand came around to grip Naruto’s collar. “You don’t understand what this is about! You don’t understand what is between that man and I!”
Naruto couldn’t bring himself to speak for a moment at the anger that was in Sasuke’s eyes. There was hatred and dead ambition floating in the deep abyss held there, and the blonde boy’s gaze softened.
“Yeah, I don’t know.” He admitted softly, his eyes locking with the other boy’s darker ones. “But…I do know what’s between us, Sasuke. Between you, and me, and Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei. And that’s the most precious thing in the world to me right now.”
Sasuke’s dark gaze did not change. He simply glanced up with some disturbing mix of apathy and slow-spreading anger. “Then I will take that precious thing from you, Naruto, if that’s what it takes in order to kill him.”
“You bastard!” Naruto felt a sting at the back of his eyes, and his voice sounded strained from the lump in his throat. How could Sasuke say such a thing? Moreover, how could he say it so emotionlessly? Naruto felt his heart hurt, and he tightened his grip on Sasuke’s shoulders, leaning into his face with closed eyes that threatened to spill over.
“How can you say that?” His voice was trembling, and Naruto couldn’t bring himself to care for dignity in front of Sasuke’s emotionless gaze. “How can you say that to my face, Sasuke? After everything we’ve done this past year?”
Naruto opened his eyes, and what greeted him was a pair of cold eyes. He felt a wave of tears slip down his marked cheeks and Sasuke’s velvety voice resounded once more.
“Don’t get so close to my face.”
“Fuck you, I will!” he did so, as two tears slipped down his face and dripped onto Sasuke’s shirt.
Naruto thought that, for a brief moment, if he looked deep enough into those dusky eyes, he could see a part of Sasuke that was crying too. Without thinking, a hand reached out to touch the cheek where Sasuke’s imaginary tear would have been, and before Sasuke could flinch and move away, and before he himself could stop to think about what would have been the more reasonable thing to do, Naruto leaned forward, close enough to bump his lips against the soft white flesh of Sasuke’s mouth.
A part of the blonde was surprised that his porcelain skin was so warm. His heart overflowed and he pressed those lips harder, and he could feel Sasuke’s displeasure seep through his skin as the other boy’s lithe fingers tightened dangerously around either arm. Sasuke made a protesting, indignant noise in the back of his throat and Naruto thought it was so, so erotic.
He wanted to pry that mouth open and taste the defiant boy from the inside; to make him succumb to the desire to be loved and cherished, and remove his defenses against the pressure of friendship. He pushed his lips harder against his wan mouth, and started a bit when he felt teeth clamp down on his bottom lip. Something coppery and nauseating dripped onto his tongue and he felt Sasuke moving; the next feeling he was acutely aware of was the thud of the back of his head against the same wall, and a lack of air in his lungs as he felt a knee connect with his abdomen.
The warmth of Sasuke’s body was removed and Naruto peered upward to see Sasuke standing, some cold look in his eyes and the stark comparison of blood on his lips and the white of his cheek.
Naruto’s abdomen still ached and his breaths came shallow still as he looked up into those still, dark eyes. He waited for the harsh words, or perhaps more physicality, the self-defensive things he was so used to from his friend.
Instead, Sasuke turned from him and walked away.
Naruto felt a pang inside him somewhere when he felt the door to Sasuke’s room click closed.