[ Naruto ] An Elegy of Candles - 1
Title: An Elegy of Candles
Rating: PG-13 for the most part, with a few R-rated chapters.
Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke. Some light Orochimaru x Sasuke, Shikamaru x Temari, and later implied Lee x Sakura.
Warnings: Yaoi, shouta-con, slight non-con, angst.
Archives: Fanfiction.net, Adultfanfiction.net, Livejournal.
Summary: [ NaruSasu ] Kakashi arrives in time at the Valley of the End, and Naruto struggles to keep his friend from succumbing to darkness.
Author’s Email: tsubasa.oscura@gmail.com (Keep flames to the reviews, please.)
-----
Chapter One: Absolute Silence
“Absolute silence leads to sadness. It is the image of death.”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
-----
Kakashi later would admit that he was remotely impressed with how Uchiha Sasuke had handled the immediate consequences of his attempted defection. He stood, with the impermeable grace that only an Uchiha could own, with his hands at his sides and pretty neck proudly arched while looking impassively into the eyes of the Kage of the village he sought to betray. His clothes were clean and immaculate, though his hair was in relative disarray, riddled with dirt and blood, though he still held some untouchable regality about him. His white face was still and unmoving, remarkably attractive even with the bruise that darkened on his cheek, and Kakashi was sure that the beginnings of some plan were formulating behind those frigid eyes. He wasn’t sure if Sasuke’s stoic silence was meant to insult the Hokage or simply plead apathy, and he chose to believe the former.
“Uchiha Sasuke.” Said Uchiha didn’t bother to flinch when the Hokage’s voice shattered the pregnant silence that preceded it. If anything, his posture seemed to stiffen. His eyes flickered lightly, as if to concede attention. Godaime narrowed her eyes. “What the hell did you think you were doing?”
Another long silence followed.
“I was departing from Konoha.” He finally replied, his lips white and thin as he spoke, and Kakashi knew that there was something restless in his demeanor. Now it was his turn to stiffen. For attempting to flee the country in which he was born, only to be stopped by himself and one Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke put up a startlingly callous exterior.
Kakashi knew that preventing him from leaving Konoha would only serve as yet another blow to the boy’s rapidly degenerating ego. But Sasuke had been frighteningly close to achieving his goal; both he and Naruto had taken quite a beating, and the blonde had already elapsed into using the Kyuubi’s chakra. If Sasuke’s curse seal had activated completely, something dangerous may have happened, either to Sasuke or his rival. Luckily, Kakashi arrived before any such thing could have occurred. He intervened before Sasuke could consider the activation of the seal, and managed to bring him home, but not without momentarily denying the boy consciousness: Kakashi knew that otherwise, Sasuke would have fought to the end.
Naruto had grinned madly as the fox’s chakra receded, remnants of tears flowing down his cheeks as he saw Kakashi walk toward the riverbank with a smaller body slung unceremoniously over his shoulder. He had run toward them at first, screaming words of gratitude and admiration and all those impulsive things that sudden mirth brings. But as they made their way back to Konoha, Naruto’s grin started to slip away and his brows began to furrow, and Kakashi could tell that his eyes were frequently darting toward his friend’s body, as if expecting him to wake up at any moment. He suddenly became pensive, and Kakashi knew that he was mulling over whatever mad proclamations Sasuke had spilled at him during their fight. He chose not to press the matter with the blonde.
Sasuke was still out when they arrived, and Kakashi suggested that both he and Naruto pay a visit to the hospital to make sure nothing was irreversibly damaged during their fight. Naruto agreed, and after his check up, he stayed stubbornly in Sasuke’s patient room, sometimes standing next to the window and sometimes pacing, and other times watching the unconscious boy’s sleeping face. Kakashi saw some reserved emotion in Naruto's fidgety actions, and he was almost surprised. The boy remained oddly silent and pensive, and Kakashi almost thought he could feel Naruto maturing. It was such a tangible feeling, one that the silver-haired man knew he wouldn’t forget, even into his old age.
About forty-five minutes after his arrival in Konoha, Sasuke stirred in his bed. Naruto noticed first, and Kakashi suggested that he leave as to not cause the Uchiha any distress. They argued for a few moments before Naruto conceded, and slipped past the door quietly.
When Sasuke did wake up, he had nothing to say. He stayed almost unnervingly calm, even when the nurses came in to give him some fruit and clean clothes. He took them without complaint, though in such a bleak manner that it stayed even the potentially admiring glances of the nurses that traversed through his room. He made his way to see Tsunade with Kakashi poised behind him, and he remained uncaring as she chastised him in disgust.
Kakashi couldn’t help but wonder as to what such a failure did to Sasuke’s already broken and bruised mentality. He knew that it couldn’t be for the best, but then again, the boy had brought it entirely upon himself. He, as Sasuke’s teacher, had watched the boy’s sanity slowly degrade along with his confidence and strength, and for some reason, he couldn’t find any pity for him. Perhaps this was because he knew that Sasuke didn’t want pity, and perhaps it was because of other things.
“Kakashi.” The stirringly familiar voice of the Fifth Hokage got through to him the third time she called his name.
The jounin blinked and glanced over at her, his eyelid drooping. “Hmm? Yes?”
“I said that I am requiring that this boy stay under your supervision until further action is determined.”
Kakashi blinked again. “Pardon? You want Sasuke to stay with me?” He repeated the question, drawing it out as if to display the command in all it’s irrationality to the woman who suggested it.
To his dismay, Tsunade didn’t bat an eyelash. “Yes. That’s precisely what I’ve said about three times now, if you were listening.” She looked rather weary and irate for some reason, and Kakashi didn’t feel like he could protest.
The jounin was speechless. He was never particularly one who was thrilled about having people about his home, especially people who happened to be petulant, fratricidal thirteen-year-olds. However, the look that Tsunade was giving him assured him that the conversation was definitely over. He let his eye drift over toward Sasuke, who was still alarmingly calm in the situation, before turning his attention back to the Hokage. “Ah. We’ll be on our way then,” He said slowly, his tongue running over the syllables before leaving his mouth. He felt like he was sealing a forbidden deal with the devil. Tsunade nodded and dismissed them, and Kakashi turned toward the black-haired boy before him. “Come, Sasuke,” He said, and Sasuke turned and followed him out.
-----
Sasuke opted to remain remote and quiet during his stay with Kakashi. He was embarrassed enough already and there was no need to speak with the man that had caused him such shame by preventing his defection. Thus, his first two days living at Kakashi’s home were filled with silence, foiled attempts at fleeing the house, and perhaps some petulant glances that Sasuke couldn’t hide. Kakashi himself didn’t seem overly thrilled about having a thirteen-year-old boy temporarily living in his home, even if Sasuke spent the majority of his time either holed up in the room that had been given to him or trying to come up with creative ways to escape from said room. This, of course, forced Kakashi to stop him, which just added up to yet another unpleasant thing the jounin wouldn’t have had to do if Sasuke weren’t there. Thus, the two spent their time thinking wistfully of how they dearly wished the other wasn’t there.
In Sasuke’s opinion, it was a fairly fitful existence, until on the third day, Kakashi apparently decided that he was feeling particularly talkative. It was breakfast-time, and Sasuke sat at Kakashi’s table eating a bowl of rice, while the jounin himself ate elsewhere in the vicinity, his back to the boy. Sasuke admitted some small curiosity that had plagued both him and his teammates at one point, though did not permit himself to look; he knew Kakashi could tell if he did.
“Sasuke, what are you going to do now?”
Kakashi’s voice sounded foreign and distant after two days of stillness. Sasuke allowed himself to look over and watch the other’s back carefully. He had put his chopsticks down, and his mask was back up, but he remained turned. Sasuke paused for a moment, before deciding that he wasn’t going to reply, and turned back to his own food. What did it matter to his ex-sensei what he did? He would do whatever he wanted, damn it, and he sure as hell didn’t need to tell Kakashi about it.
“Sakura is apprenticed to Tsunade now,” The silver-haired man’s voice sounded irritated, but only a little. “And Naruto is going to train with Jiraiya.” He got up and turned to him, his eye not as lax as Sasuke previously remembered. Sasuke instinctively let his eyes narrow. “I asked you what you are going to do.”
Sasuke felt his lip curl in a sneer. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want to do.” He replied with his usual arrogance. His words were terse and cursory, and Kakashi’s eyelid drooped just a little more.
“If you insist. Bear in mind, however, that the more you dawdle aimlessly like this, the more time you’ll have to spend in this house, or if not here, then a correctional facility or even juvenile detainment.” The taller man eyed him carefully, as if trying to search for something beyond that fractious nature. Sasuke’s eyes only hardened in response, and when he did not react further, Kakashi turned and began to walk to the kitchen, and the Uchiha’s gaze followed him.
To Sasuke, it didn’t matter how he was confined or kept under control anymore. It wouldn’t quell his ambition. He would escape, even if he had to kill to do it. Of course, he had never thought that he would be able to kill Kakashi, but he would sure as hell try if it was called for. He wasn’t above that. He wasn’t above anything anymore. He had tried to kill his best friend, did he not? What were a few guards or citizens in comparison? If he was going to kill his older brother, who was once the most precious person in the world to him, why should he have reprehensions about killing others?
He could not fear death, neither his own death nor the death of others. He had opted to “sever ties,” as he had put it, and he understood that such severing would cause nothing but isolation and emotional distress. But he was willing to feel that pain for the rest of his life, if it just meant he could grasp the goal he tried so hard to reach…
Which was why he decided that going to Orochimaru was a beneficial idea. He knew that he wouldn’t be treated very well there, and he knew that he would have to die early; to give up his body to the Sannin in exchange for power. He accepted that fact, because his earthly presence was hardly a price to pay for the strength needed to destroy Uchiha Itachi.
And he craved that strength. He would go to Orochimaru, despite any detainment Konoha tried to impose upon him. He didn’t care what Kakashi said. He didn’t care what Sakura did or who Naruto trained with. He would leave Konoha to satisfy his quest for power. That was what he would do.
His dark eyes which lay defunct for some days flared at the very thought, right as Kakashi turned his head toward him. Sasuke thought he saw the other raise his eyebrow just slightly. He looked as if he may have thought about saying something, but then opted not to. He turned his masked face away, and nonchalantly, he said, “By the way, Naruto and Sakura mentioned that they were coming to visit today afternoon.”
He stiffened. Naruto and Sakura were visiting? What for? Did they simply want to rub it into his face that he had failed, yet again? Sasuke’s lips tightened and they were blanched white by now due to the pressure he was exerting between them. Visiting, indeed. His failed defection was nothing but a source of ego-degenerating shame to him, and the last thing he wanted to see was the idiot blonde who had aided in it. And he hated it, and he hated him, and he hated Kakashi, and maybe even Sakura.
Because Uchiha Sasuke had a lot of hatred. His brother was incorrect in saying that he didn’t, because at this point, he was consumed by hatred, and maybe jealousy, but he refused to take the latter train of thought further.
Perhaps what unnerved him was that the majority of the hatred he did posess, he found spending on himself. And perhaps it was only necessary; he had, after all, become an utter, worthless failure not even worthy of licking the bottoms of his dead father’s shoes. He couldn’t kill his brother, even after five years of dedicating himself solely to the purpose. He couldn’t surpass Naruto the way he used to; his rival had grown considerably and Sasuke knew that he was being left behind. And to top it all off, he couldn’t even leave Konoha to attain the power he needed, because said rival had got in his way and his ex-teacher had shown up and knocked him out.
It was a sad thing, really.
Sasuke pursed his lips, that feeling of utter shame and loathing bubbling up in the depths of his dark soul once more. If Sakura and Naruto wanted to see him, Sasuke would make sure they understood that they were unwanted. He had to make do with what little dignity he had, after all. With that, he rose to his feet and took the empty rice bowl to the kitchen.
-----
Haruno Sakura was, undoubtedly, a female, and thus, was very good at acting cheerful and carefree when happiness was the last thing on her mind. This was one of the times when such a skill came in handy, as she and an unusually uncommunicative Naruto made their way toward Kakashi’s home, wherein stayed a presumably disgruntled Uchiha Sasuke. It was she who had suggested it, and shared the idea with Naruto, who had agreed on the basis that their presence would “do the bastard some good.” The boy had grinned in his passionate manner when she met up with him on the way to their teacher’s home, and he continued to talk rather loudly when necessary as if to make up for the awkwardness of the situation. At the moment, however, he was quieted and thoughtful, and for a moment she forgot how brazen he normally was.
That he had changed was something anyone half-blind could have noticed. Sakura still remembered their estranged relations a year ago; Naruto was as brash as ever and he ranked rather low on the skill level. Though, Team Seven had matured and with it matured Naruto; while he remained short for his age, his power improved steadily, augmented by what seemed like an inability to feel exhaustion. He was still rather immature, as were most boys his age-she would even admit that Sasuke was just as childish as he-but he started to change and especially so with the recent turn of events, just as she had, herself.
Sakura loved Sasuke. It wasn’t a puerile crush anymore; she realized that a long time ago. She was in love with him. She sympathized with him, and she wanted nothing more than to cradle his pale, pretty head in her arms and tell him so repeatedly; it had come to the point where she didn’t care if he even loved her back, as long as he accepted the fact that she loved him. As time wore on, Sakura began to see sides of Sasuke she never knew existed in the normally clement boy. He was so strong and confident at first, while Naruto was nothing more than a childish loser. Sasuke used to be good at everything, especially compared to dead-last Naruto.
And then Naruto grew, and Sakura had a small, nagging feeling that Sasuke was falling behind.
It didn’t deter her love for him at all, of course. She just loved him all the harder when it became increasingly obvious that love was what he needed, and loving him just hurt her more because the more she loved him, the harder he pulled away from both her and Naruto. Sakura knew by now quite well that Sasuke didn’t want her love. He didn’t want anything other than revenge, and it pained her heart so much to admit it to herself. Even confessing her love to him had resulted in nothing more than an insult, and Sakura could almost hear her heart cracking as he said the words, “You really are annoying.” The very condescension in his tone was enough to render her speechless.
She couldn’t stop Sasuke from doing what he wanted. She understood then that her love was, to him, something trivial and distracting, something of so little importance that it hardly mattered. She understood then that Sasuke didn’t want love, and especially not from her. She understood that the boy she had grown to love had a heart so cold and black that even the warmth of her love wasn’t enough to save it.
“Sakura-chan, is that it?” Naruto’s stingingly loud voice brought her back from her thoughts. She subsequently turned to the slightly shorter boy beside her.
“What?”
“I asked if that was the house.” Naruto pointed to a building not too far off. His face looked full of emotion, and Sakura was more than sure that the huge grin on his face was purely for show.
Sakura checked the street signs and the landmarks Kakashi had given them before nodding. “Looks like it,” She said, taking a slow, deep breath. Naruto must have noticed, because his grin only widened.
“I’m sure Sasuke was looking forward to this!” He belted out loudly, and Sakura couldn’t help but smile. She knew he was trying to make her feel better, because he thought that she was unaware of the fact that Sasuke probably didn’t want to look at their faces again.
Her lips pursed at the realization, and for a moment she regretted wanting to do this. Nevertheless, she made her way alongside her teammate to the home and as they were greeted at the door by Kakashi, Sakura’s eyes flew to the couch to the side, wherein sat Sasuke. Disrespectful as always, he didn’t walk up to greet them, and instead allowed Kakashi that distinct pleasure.
Sakura watched him, and remembered those dark, almost frightening eyes. Sasuke watched them back, though with a guarded emotion that Sakura herself could not point to. Kakashi smiled at the two of them and told them to enjoy themselves and to ask Sasuke if they needed anything, before scuttling off to another room of the house. Fighting her inhibitions, Sakura smiled brightly at the handsome boy and began to walk toward him, Naruto in tow. “Sasuke-kun!” Her hands were shaking, and she hoped that it wasn’t obvious. “It’s good to see you’re well!”
As expected, Sasuke gave no answer. He watched them quietly and with a fairly unmoving disposition; though Sakura wondered if his eyebrow had just twitched.
“Yeah, bastard,” Naruto’s voice was unnervingly loud again, and Sakura watched as Sasuke’s eyes floated impassively over to the other boy as they both sat down. “We were both wondering as to how you were doing and all.”
Sasuke still made no motion to speak, and Sakura pursed her lips. Sasuke was remarkably reserved, as she had thought he would be. He looked the same as ever, almost, though she knew that something inside him had changed. She fought back the urge to frown and maintained a cheery smile on her lips. “Naruto and I were going to buy you something nice to eat before we came,” She said, lowering her lashes a little. “But we didn’t know what type of sweets you liked best.”
“I don’t like sugary things.” Both seemed startled that he actually responded. Sakura lifted her gaze to meet Sasuke’s calm, even one.
“O-Oh,” She started to say, flustered. His gaze was penetrating and almost angry.
A long silence followed. Sakura fiddled with the end of her dress, and Naruto found something awfully interesting to gaze at on Kakashi’s couch. Sasuke simply stared.
Sakura always thought that Team Seven was an unlikely band of children, people who, under normal circumstances would have never even glanced at each other (with the exception of Sasuke, who it seemed attracted more glances than he cared for). But they had grown together for that one year as teammates and then as friends. She felt that more than anything, now, with Sasuke’s failed defection, they were returning back into strangers.
“So, bastard, have you been up to anything over these few days?” Sakura was surprised that Naruto broke the seven-minute silence, and turned to face him. He was a little tight-lipped though Sakura knew he was trying to put everything behind him and move on. Her eyes swept over his childish face, and would have smiled; at least he wasn’t about to let such a grudge get in the way of his friendship with Sasuke. Her heart brightened just a little.
Sasuke, however, did not find his attempts as endearing as she did. He simply narrowed his eyes at him. “None of your concern.”
Naruto’s eyes narrowed as well in reaction. “I was just asking, bastard.”
“And I replied.”
“What’s your problem?” Naruto was on the offensive now; it didn’t look like he was feeling overly sympathetic. Sakura cringed inwardly and moved to put a hand on his shoulder to still him, but withdrew her hand when the boy stood up, his body craning toward Sasuke’s confrontationally. “I’m trying to be nice, damn it, more than an asshole like you deserves!”
“I didn’t ask for you to. Don’t act so superficial, like a girl.”
Sakura wasn’t sure if she should have left just then, or if she should have interjected before things got out of hand. Sasuke had always been a little prickly, but it wasn’t often that he sounded so serious when he insulted Naruto. At least, back he didn’t when the relationship between the two of them was still healthy; when he hadn’t wanted to kill him, or anyone else who got in the way of his destructive goal. Sakura opted to remain silent. Unfortunately, Naruto didn’t.
The blonde growled a feral growl, his fists clenching once more, and Sasuke looked up at him steadily. Sakura looked around the room, her breath quickening. Where was Kakashi? If another fight broke out between them, Sakura knew she couldn’t do anything about it. Her eyes flew back to the dark-haired boy in front of her. She calmed slightly; the persistently impassive look on Sasuke’s face indicated that he was not in the mood to fight. She pursed her lips. “Um…let’s not fight, you two. Naruto and I just came to visit.” Her voice was surprisingly small, and Sakura felt as timid and shy as she once was when she was very young.
Naruto’s defensive stance flickered, and he stopped. It did not ease the hurt and offensive look on his face. “It looks like we’re not wanted, then, Sakura-chan,” He said, and the pain in his voice was evident. “We should leave.”
“Glad I made that clear enough.” Sasuke watched him with an unwavering gaze. He made no move to stop him. Sakura felt her heart shattering, and her eyes threatening to spill tears that she had tried her best to stay.
“Damn you!” Naruto’s voice was loud and clear, and Sakura flinched with the emotion that fluctuated through the words. “Can’t you just learn to move on, Sasuke? Forget about what happened at the Valley of the End! Why can’t you just forget about it? Why do you have to dwell on things like this? I don’t-none of us want to be your enemy!”
Sakura found herself stiffening. Count on Naruto to bring up such a sensitive subject, especially when the moment really didn’t call for it. She was almost afraid when she looked to Sasuke’s eyes.
There was a cold, burning anger flashing in those still eyes. Sakura was all too aware of the blood pounding in her ears as the other boy stood up.
“Get out.” His voice could have frozen the air around him. It was quiet, but it trembled just a little, and Sakura was sure that she had never heard Uchiha Sasuke’s voice waver in the way that it did just then.
Quickly, she got up as well, tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She couldn’t find herself able to make eye contact. This was a bad idea. Perhaps she should have waited a few weeks instead of a few days to suggest meeting Sasuke once more. She just had hoped that maybe, after he was stopped from defecting, that Sasuke would somehow just see that what he was doing was wrong.
Apparently, nothing of the sort had come even close to transpiring.
“Did something happen?” The poignantly late voice of the adult in the house made itself known as Kakashi walked into the living room, a book pertaining to the Icha Icha series in hand.
His former students could only stare in exasperation, and Kakashi cocked his head mildly, though something about him was quite alert. “Hmm?”
Sakura spoke up finally, after finding her voice. She hoped the tiny waver in her speech would go unnoticed. “Naruto and I were just leaving.”
“So soon?” Kakashi asked, his gaze meeting the Uchiha’s. Sasuke’s lips pursed.
Sakura shot a sideways glance at Naruto, who had his brows furrowed, a frown appearing on his sun-kissed face. Her eyes softened just a little at the sight. She wasn’t the only one so stricken by Sasuke’s behavior.
Perhaps she could learn something from Naruto. The blonde pestered and bothered and tried and tried until he got what he wanted. Why could she not use the same principles when their wayward teammate was involved? Sasuke would have to change. He couldn’t stay the same forever, could he? He couldn’t stay immersed in darkness forever; he’d have to find a way out, or else he’d face some painful emotional death. Sakura believed that Sasuke wouldn’t allow himself to get caught in a vicious cycle of darkness. There was a part of her that dared to dream that he was strong enough to see what such a thing could do to him.
Or, so she hoped, anyhow.
With that, Sakura looked at Kakashi with slightly drier eyes. There was a lingering sliver of girlish hope burning behind her iridescent eyes. “Yes, we’re leaving now. But...we-we’ll come back later. Maybe next week, to check on Sasuke-kun.” Sakura turned to the dark-haired boy and offered him a smile that he did not return.
Sasuke sat back down, his eyes flashing with apathy, and Sakura began to usher Naruto out of the house, noting the blonde’s look of frustration and a melancholy that just didn’t sit with his bright eyes and hair and skin. She was a little upset with the other boy for tightening tensions between them, but, as always, it seemed that Naruto had an uncanny knack for speaking out loud what exactly what was on her mind.
She wished Sasuke could move on too. She wished that, just this once, Sasuke would give into his weaknesses and let himself be taken care of.
Sakura, however, was fairly ignorant of Sasuke’s mental state. She had hope for Sasuke, who had shunned the selfsame hope she desired to impose upon him. Sakura wished to love him, and, with whimsical passion, felt that love was something that Sasuke would have to respond to, for the very reason that it was love. She was too childish to understand that love can be beyond a person. She couldn’t grasp just yet that Uchiha Sasuke had rejected not only her love, but the love of those around him.
That painful discovery lay for another day. At the moment, with ideals tucked firmly into her mind, she stepped past the door to the outdoors, though not without waving her goodbyes politely. Naruto went with her, and a bleak black gaze followed. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, the ache in written on his face as he let his eyes wander to best friend before they left.
-----
The walk back was oddly uncomfortable for Naruto. In his younger days, he would have leapt for the opportunity to walk Sakura alone to her home, but as he did just that, he found his mind fixated on the dark-haired boy he just left.
Sasuke had responded just the way he had expected him to. He was silent and despondent; at least, more so than usual. He had almost ignored the presence of his teammates, until he was provoked to break the quietness. Naruto was quite surprised with himself that he didn’t cry as he spoke those bitter words to him, and especially after he saw the coldness in Sasuke’s defensive eyes. But then he noted that Sakura was rather close to spilling over herself, and decided he’d try his best to hold it in for her sake. There was no need to make her sad too; he knew that she still healing from the visceral wounds that Sasuke had inflicted before his defection. He would have plenty of opportunities to mourn the emotional loss of his friend; there was no need to do so in front of Sakura.
Naruto was also aware of how strongly he was letting Sasuke’s attempted defection affect him. He felt as if he had said enough and more during his fight with Sasuke at the Valley of the End, and he found himself mulling over the words that his best friend had muttered to him. To Naruto, they were the mumblings of a sociopath, and a part of him was so shocked over what Sasuke had become.
Letting out a slow sigh, quiet enough that Sakura didn’t need to hear it, he pressed his lips together a little and allowed a fleeting glance at the kunoichi beside him. She looked as concerned as he did. Naruto bit the inside of his cheek. There was no need to get Sakura down about it. Putting on a bright smile, he turned to the girl.
“Sakura-chan, want to go to lunch with me?”
Sakura blinked and glanced over at the boy beside her. Naruto saw the corners of her mouth twitch as she expectedly rolled her eyes. “No.” She gave him the answer she always did, and the answer he expected.
“Just this once?” His smile broadened, though his brows remained furrowed.
Sakura simply sighed a little and looked aside, not answering. Naruto’s grin faded a little. The blonde lowered his gaze. “Sakura-chan, are you still thinking about Sasuke?”
A nod proved him right.
“He’ll come around, I’m sure of it. Even if he doesn’t want to, he has to, because I’ll make him.” Naruto wasn’t sure if he was assuring himself or Sakura, and decided that it was probably both.
His efforts were rewarded by a smile from Sakura. “I know, Naruto,” She said, her voice unusually soft. “He has to come back to us. I-we love him.”
Naruto felt warmth rising to his cheeks, but managed a nod. “Yeah,” He said slowly, “We do.”
A comfortable silence passed between the two friends for a while as they walked toward Sakura’s home. It was a lovely late summer day, with the trees still startlingly bright and the sun mellowing into an autumn glow.
“Though-Naruto.” Sakura’s voice pierced the unspoken words between them. “I wish you hadn’t said all that back there to him.”
Naruto looked over at her, and blinked twice before he understood what she was referring to: his little outburst about moving on. “Oh,” He managed sheepishly, “Yeah. I wish I hadn’t said it too.”
Naruto realized that he shouldn’t have said it right after he did; he wasn’t thinking and he was just so upset at the cold way Sasuke was treating him after he and the other ninja of Konoha put their effort into searching for him. He was upset at the way he was treating Sakura, who truly loved him in the way he wished she loved him. Sasuke had such a generous life waiting for him, and he chose to shun it all.
His gaze lifted toward Sakura, who was eyeing the path ahead of them with a detached concern. Her eyes were clouded and her eyelids lowered. Some part of her looked vaguely troubled.
“Something else the matter, Sakura-chan?” He asked.
Sakura paused a little before answering, “No.” She paused another moment before going back to her statement, her gaze still locked on the ground ahead of them. “Actually…I was wondering…what exactly happened between you two at the Valley of the End? Did Sasuke-kun offer an explanation at all?” Her eyes remained locked below her.
Naruto hesitated. He bit his lip a little as he let his eyes fall from her face as she asked; it was the one question he had hoped to avoid from her.
The memories of what happened between himself and Sasuke at the Valley were ones that he had mulled over so much that the images were like a videotape running from one dirty panel to the next. The words that were spoken seemed amplified in his mind. Sasuke had told him that Naruto was his best friend; he had subsequently said that because of that, it was worth killing him. Sasuke had told him that he didn’t care about anyone anymore, including him. Sasuke had told him so many things that Naruto wished he never had.
He felt Sakura’s gaze heavy on his face, and Naruto’s mouth began to open. Just as quickly, he felt it shut.
“Naruto?”
“I’m sorry, Sakura-chan.” Naruto’s voice was slightly downcast and serious. “I…I’ll tell you later.”
Sakura blinked. “Why? Did something…bad happen?”
“Well…it’s just that…Sasuke said a lot of things. You probably don’t want to hear it just yet.”
Naruto knew that what Sasuke had said to him at the Valley wouldn’t do a thing to ease Sakura’s pain over what her love had become. He knew it would do nothing but sadden her further, and he did not want that. Sakura was his teammate, as Sasuke was, and he wouldn’t cause her unnecessary pain. He would tell her when it was right to tell her. Ideally, it would be some day in the future when he and she and Sasuke were all friends again, taking a lunch break together and laughing about what an idiot their dark-haired friend was being when he had decided to go off to Orochimaru.
Of course, Sasuke had a tendency to shatter ideals, and Naruto could only hope.
As expected when she was not given an appropriate explanation, Sakura was a little indignant, her brows furrowing a little. “We’re all teammates, Naruto. Tell me.”
“I’m sorry, Sakura-chan.” He looked at her with a cheerless face and she calmed. “I promise I’ll tell you some other time. Not just yet. I’ll tell you when Sasuke isn’t being such a fucking ass.”
Sakura paused for a moment, letting out a small sigh of consent, and offered her teammate a smile, friendship warming her face. “And when is that going to happen, if it ever has?”
Naruto couldn’t help but grin and offer a small chuckle, though nostalgic longing was imbedded within his features. “I don’t know. Probably never.”
Sakura smiled fleetingly and the two continued on in silence.
-----
After the ordeal with Sakura and Naruto, Kakashi’s home was filled with awkward silences that had started become quite normal.
For the next few days, Kakashi flitted about the home, usually seen with some Icha Icha book clutched between his long, spidery fingers, while Sasuke pouted about in his room.
The jounin’s mind was, however, far from the tantalizing scenes playing out in the books before him, and rather, found himself quite annoyed. It figured that Sasuke would have to be a complete bitch about the fact that Naruto and Sakura visited. He had known even while Sakura had asked him that it would be this way, but the sincerely upset, wide-eyed look on the kunoichi’s face as she asked just made it impossible for him to disagree. In the end, however, he knew that allowing this to happen fell into one of his worse judgments.
Not to mention, Sasuke himself was starting to become a bother. He was always brooding, and when he wasn’t doing that he was somehow trying to tear down the house in effort to escape. His windows had especially taken quite a beating. It was really quite inconvenient.
And so, when he got that one call to go to the Godaime’s office, he dared to hope that she would hold the precious key to putting the both of them out of their miseries soon enough.
And when he came back to his home, Kakashi found himself in an awfully chipper mood. His mood simply rose even more when he made his way to Sasuke’s door and knocked with a silly little simper unfolding under his mask.
The petulant adolescent opened the door after a long pause meant to deter the older man from speaking with him. Unfortunately, said pause only made Kakashi’s smile turn into a full-fledged grin.
Sasuke finally slid open the door and eyed the older with annoyed eyes.
“Yes?”
Kakashi simpered. “I have a mission.”
“What?”
Kakashi could have chucked with some petty malice at the way the Uchiha’s dead eyes brightened just a little; bless the boy! Sasuke thought it meant he’d be staying in his home alone.
“I have a mission. This means that I won’t be here to supervise you for an extended period of time.” Of course, Kakashi left out the dangling bit at the end that was left unsaid: “And bless your naïve, sociopathic soul if you think I’ll let you stay in my home by yourself.”
Sasuke simply looked at him, as if expecting him to continue.
“So,” Kakashi humored him, “Since that’s the case, how would you like to spend a few days living with your best friend, Naruto?”
Sasuke’s eyes flashed dangerously and narrowed, and Kakashi noticed how his shoulders stiffened. “Fuck no,” He scowled and cocked his head; he was being rather defensive. However, Kakashi simply smiled, and almost felt a guilty pleasure as he responded.
“It’s settled, then. Do pack your things by the day after, Sasuke-kun.”
He took a fleeting glance of Sasuke’s cold indignant face as he slid the door back closed without another word.
-----
Wow. I need a beta. >.>
Rating: PG-13 for the most part, with a few R-rated chapters.
Pairings: Naruto x Sasuke. Some light Orochimaru x Sasuke, Shikamaru x Temari, and later implied Lee x Sakura.
Warnings: Yaoi, shouta-con, slight non-con, angst.
Archives: Fanfiction.net, Adultfanfiction.net, Livejournal.
Summary: [ NaruSasu ] Kakashi arrives in time at the Valley of the End, and Naruto struggles to keep his friend from succumbing to darkness.
Author’s Email: tsubasa.oscura@gmail.com (Keep flames to the reviews, please.)
-----
Chapter One: Absolute Silence
“Absolute silence leads to sadness. It is the image of death.”
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
-----
Kakashi later would admit that he was remotely impressed with how Uchiha Sasuke had handled the immediate consequences of his attempted defection. He stood, with the impermeable grace that only an Uchiha could own, with his hands at his sides and pretty neck proudly arched while looking impassively into the eyes of the Kage of the village he sought to betray. His clothes were clean and immaculate, though his hair was in relative disarray, riddled with dirt and blood, though he still held some untouchable regality about him. His white face was still and unmoving, remarkably attractive even with the bruise that darkened on his cheek, and Kakashi was sure that the beginnings of some plan were formulating behind those frigid eyes. He wasn’t sure if Sasuke’s stoic silence was meant to insult the Hokage or simply plead apathy, and he chose to believe the former.
“Uchiha Sasuke.” Said Uchiha didn’t bother to flinch when the Hokage’s voice shattered the pregnant silence that preceded it. If anything, his posture seemed to stiffen. His eyes flickered lightly, as if to concede attention. Godaime narrowed her eyes. “What the hell did you think you were doing?”
Another long silence followed.
“I was departing from Konoha.” He finally replied, his lips white and thin as he spoke, and Kakashi knew that there was something restless in his demeanor. Now it was his turn to stiffen. For attempting to flee the country in which he was born, only to be stopped by himself and one Uzumaki Naruto, Sasuke put up a startlingly callous exterior.
Kakashi knew that preventing him from leaving Konoha would only serve as yet another blow to the boy’s rapidly degenerating ego. But Sasuke had been frighteningly close to achieving his goal; both he and Naruto had taken quite a beating, and the blonde had already elapsed into using the Kyuubi’s chakra. If Sasuke’s curse seal had activated completely, something dangerous may have happened, either to Sasuke or his rival. Luckily, Kakashi arrived before any such thing could have occurred. He intervened before Sasuke could consider the activation of the seal, and managed to bring him home, but not without momentarily denying the boy consciousness: Kakashi knew that otherwise, Sasuke would have fought to the end.
Naruto had grinned madly as the fox’s chakra receded, remnants of tears flowing down his cheeks as he saw Kakashi walk toward the riverbank with a smaller body slung unceremoniously over his shoulder. He had run toward them at first, screaming words of gratitude and admiration and all those impulsive things that sudden mirth brings. But as they made their way back to Konoha, Naruto’s grin started to slip away and his brows began to furrow, and Kakashi could tell that his eyes were frequently darting toward his friend’s body, as if expecting him to wake up at any moment. He suddenly became pensive, and Kakashi knew that he was mulling over whatever mad proclamations Sasuke had spilled at him during their fight. He chose not to press the matter with the blonde.
Sasuke was still out when they arrived, and Kakashi suggested that both he and Naruto pay a visit to the hospital to make sure nothing was irreversibly damaged during their fight. Naruto agreed, and after his check up, he stayed stubbornly in Sasuke’s patient room, sometimes standing next to the window and sometimes pacing, and other times watching the unconscious boy’s sleeping face. Kakashi saw some reserved emotion in Naruto's fidgety actions, and he was almost surprised. The boy remained oddly silent and pensive, and Kakashi almost thought he could feel Naruto maturing. It was such a tangible feeling, one that the silver-haired man knew he wouldn’t forget, even into his old age.
About forty-five minutes after his arrival in Konoha, Sasuke stirred in his bed. Naruto noticed first, and Kakashi suggested that he leave as to not cause the Uchiha any distress. They argued for a few moments before Naruto conceded, and slipped past the door quietly.
When Sasuke did wake up, he had nothing to say. He stayed almost unnervingly calm, even when the nurses came in to give him some fruit and clean clothes. He took them without complaint, though in such a bleak manner that it stayed even the potentially admiring glances of the nurses that traversed through his room. He made his way to see Tsunade with Kakashi poised behind him, and he remained uncaring as she chastised him in disgust.
Kakashi couldn’t help but wonder as to what such a failure did to Sasuke’s already broken and bruised mentality. He knew that it couldn’t be for the best, but then again, the boy had brought it entirely upon himself. He, as Sasuke’s teacher, had watched the boy’s sanity slowly degrade along with his confidence and strength, and for some reason, he couldn’t find any pity for him. Perhaps this was because he knew that Sasuke didn’t want pity, and perhaps it was because of other things.
“Kakashi.” The stirringly familiar voice of the Fifth Hokage got through to him the third time she called his name.
The jounin blinked and glanced over at her, his eyelid drooping. “Hmm? Yes?”
“I said that I am requiring that this boy stay under your supervision until further action is determined.”
Kakashi blinked again. “Pardon? You want Sasuke to stay with me?” He repeated the question, drawing it out as if to display the command in all it’s irrationality to the woman who suggested it.
To his dismay, Tsunade didn’t bat an eyelash. “Yes. That’s precisely what I’ve said about three times now, if you were listening.” She looked rather weary and irate for some reason, and Kakashi didn’t feel like he could protest.
The jounin was speechless. He was never particularly one who was thrilled about having people about his home, especially people who happened to be petulant, fratricidal thirteen-year-olds. However, the look that Tsunade was giving him assured him that the conversation was definitely over. He let his eye drift over toward Sasuke, who was still alarmingly calm in the situation, before turning his attention back to the Hokage. “Ah. We’ll be on our way then,” He said slowly, his tongue running over the syllables before leaving his mouth. He felt like he was sealing a forbidden deal with the devil. Tsunade nodded and dismissed them, and Kakashi turned toward the black-haired boy before him. “Come, Sasuke,” He said, and Sasuke turned and followed him out.
-----
Sasuke opted to remain remote and quiet during his stay with Kakashi. He was embarrassed enough already and there was no need to speak with the man that had caused him such shame by preventing his defection. Thus, his first two days living at Kakashi’s home were filled with silence, foiled attempts at fleeing the house, and perhaps some petulant glances that Sasuke couldn’t hide. Kakashi himself didn’t seem overly thrilled about having a thirteen-year-old boy temporarily living in his home, even if Sasuke spent the majority of his time either holed up in the room that had been given to him or trying to come up with creative ways to escape from said room. This, of course, forced Kakashi to stop him, which just added up to yet another unpleasant thing the jounin wouldn’t have had to do if Sasuke weren’t there. Thus, the two spent their time thinking wistfully of how they dearly wished the other wasn’t there.
In Sasuke’s opinion, it was a fairly fitful existence, until on the third day, Kakashi apparently decided that he was feeling particularly talkative. It was breakfast-time, and Sasuke sat at Kakashi’s table eating a bowl of rice, while the jounin himself ate elsewhere in the vicinity, his back to the boy. Sasuke admitted some small curiosity that had plagued both him and his teammates at one point, though did not permit himself to look; he knew Kakashi could tell if he did.
“Sasuke, what are you going to do now?”
Kakashi’s voice sounded foreign and distant after two days of stillness. Sasuke allowed himself to look over and watch the other’s back carefully. He had put his chopsticks down, and his mask was back up, but he remained turned. Sasuke paused for a moment, before deciding that he wasn’t going to reply, and turned back to his own food. What did it matter to his ex-sensei what he did? He would do whatever he wanted, damn it, and he sure as hell didn’t need to tell Kakashi about it.
“Sakura is apprenticed to Tsunade now,” The silver-haired man’s voice sounded irritated, but only a little. “And Naruto is going to train with Jiraiya.” He got up and turned to him, his eye not as lax as Sasuke previously remembered. Sasuke instinctively let his eyes narrow. “I asked you what you are going to do.”
Sasuke felt his lip curl in a sneer. “I’ll do whatever the hell I want to do.” He replied with his usual arrogance. His words were terse and cursory, and Kakashi’s eyelid drooped just a little more.
“If you insist. Bear in mind, however, that the more you dawdle aimlessly like this, the more time you’ll have to spend in this house, or if not here, then a correctional facility or even juvenile detainment.” The taller man eyed him carefully, as if trying to search for something beyond that fractious nature. Sasuke’s eyes only hardened in response, and when he did not react further, Kakashi turned and began to walk to the kitchen, and the Uchiha’s gaze followed him.
To Sasuke, it didn’t matter how he was confined or kept under control anymore. It wouldn’t quell his ambition. He would escape, even if he had to kill to do it. Of course, he had never thought that he would be able to kill Kakashi, but he would sure as hell try if it was called for. He wasn’t above that. He wasn’t above anything anymore. He had tried to kill his best friend, did he not? What were a few guards or citizens in comparison? If he was going to kill his older brother, who was once the most precious person in the world to him, why should he have reprehensions about killing others?
He could not fear death, neither his own death nor the death of others. He had opted to “sever ties,” as he had put it, and he understood that such severing would cause nothing but isolation and emotional distress. But he was willing to feel that pain for the rest of his life, if it just meant he could grasp the goal he tried so hard to reach…
Which was why he decided that going to Orochimaru was a beneficial idea. He knew that he wouldn’t be treated very well there, and he knew that he would have to die early; to give up his body to the Sannin in exchange for power. He accepted that fact, because his earthly presence was hardly a price to pay for the strength needed to destroy Uchiha Itachi.
And he craved that strength. He would go to Orochimaru, despite any detainment Konoha tried to impose upon him. He didn’t care what Kakashi said. He didn’t care what Sakura did or who Naruto trained with. He would leave Konoha to satisfy his quest for power. That was what he would do.
His dark eyes which lay defunct for some days flared at the very thought, right as Kakashi turned his head toward him. Sasuke thought he saw the other raise his eyebrow just slightly. He looked as if he may have thought about saying something, but then opted not to. He turned his masked face away, and nonchalantly, he said, “By the way, Naruto and Sakura mentioned that they were coming to visit today afternoon.”
He stiffened. Naruto and Sakura were visiting? What for? Did they simply want to rub it into his face that he had failed, yet again? Sasuke’s lips tightened and they were blanched white by now due to the pressure he was exerting between them. Visiting, indeed. His failed defection was nothing but a source of ego-degenerating shame to him, and the last thing he wanted to see was the idiot blonde who had aided in it. And he hated it, and he hated him, and he hated Kakashi, and maybe even Sakura.
Because Uchiha Sasuke had a lot of hatred. His brother was incorrect in saying that he didn’t, because at this point, he was consumed by hatred, and maybe jealousy, but he refused to take the latter train of thought further.
Perhaps what unnerved him was that the majority of the hatred he did posess, he found spending on himself. And perhaps it was only necessary; he had, after all, become an utter, worthless failure not even worthy of licking the bottoms of his dead father’s shoes. He couldn’t kill his brother, even after five years of dedicating himself solely to the purpose. He couldn’t surpass Naruto the way he used to; his rival had grown considerably and Sasuke knew that he was being left behind. And to top it all off, he couldn’t even leave Konoha to attain the power he needed, because said rival had got in his way and his ex-teacher had shown up and knocked him out.
It was a sad thing, really.
Sasuke pursed his lips, that feeling of utter shame and loathing bubbling up in the depths of his dark soul once more. If Sakura and Naruto wanted to see him, Sasuke would make sure they understood that they were unwanted. He had to make do with what little dignity he had, after all. With that, he rose to his feet and took the empty rice bowl to the kitchen.
-----
Haruno Sakura was, undoubtedly, a female, and thus, was very good at acting cheerful and carefree when happiness was the last thing on her mind. This was one of the times when such a skill came in handy, as she and an unusually uncommunicative Naruto made their way toward Kakashi’s home, wherein stayed a presumably disgruntled Uchiha Sasuke. It was she who had suggested it, and shared the idea with Naruto, who had agreed on the basis that their presence would “do the bastard some good.” The boy had grinned in his passionate manner when she met up with him on the way to their teacher’s home, and he continued to talk rather loudly when necessary as if to make up for the awkwardness of the situation. At the moment, however, he was quieted and thoughtful, and for a moment she forgot how brazen he normally was.
That he had changed was something anyone half-blind could have noticed. Sakura still remembered their estranged relations a year ago; Naruto was as brash as ever and he ranked rather low on the skill level. Though, Team Seven had matured and with it matured Naruto; while he remained short for his age, his power improved steadily, augmented by what seemed like an inability to feel exhaustion. He was still rather immature, as were most boys his age-she would even admit that Sasuke was just as childish as he-but he started to change and especially so with the recent turn of events, just as she had, herself.
Sakura loved Sasuke. It wasn’t a puerile crush anymore; she realized that a long time ago. She was in love with him. She sympathized with him, and she wanted nothing more than to cradle his pale, pretty head in her arms and tell him so repeatedly; it had come to the point where she didn’t care if he even loved her back, as long as he accepted the fact that she loved him. As time wore on, Sakura began to see sides of Sasuke she never knew existed in the normally clement boy. He was so strong and confident at first, while Naruto was nothing more than a childish loser. Sasuke used to be good at everything, especially compared to dead-last Naruto.
And then Naruto grew, and Sakura had a small, nagging feeling that Sasuke was falling behind.
It didn’t deter her love for him at all, of course. She just loved him all the harder when it became increasingly obvious that love was what he needed, and loving him just hurt her more because the more she loved him, the harder he pulled away from both her and Naruto. Sakura knew by now quite well that Sasuke didn’t want her love. He didn’t want anything other than revenge, and it pained her heart so much to admit it to herself. Even confessing her love to him had resulted in nothing more than an insult, and Sakura could almost hear her heart cracking as he said the words, “You really are annoying.” The very condescension in his tone was enough to render her speechless.
She couldn’t stop Sasuke from doing what he wanted. She understood then that her love was, to him, something trivial and distracting, something of so little importance that it hardly mattered. She understood then that Sasuke didn’t want love, and especially not from her. She understood that the boy she had grown to love had a heart so cold and black that even the warmth of her love wasn’t enough to save it.
“Sakura-chan, is that it?” Naruto’s stingingly loud voice brought her back from her thoughts. She subsequently turned to the slightly shorter boy beside her.
“What?”
“I asked if that was the house.” Naruto pointed to a building not too far off. His face looked full of emotion, and Sakura was more than sure that the huge grin on his face was purely for show.
Sakura checked the street signs and the landmarks Kakashi had given them before nodding. “Looks like it,” She said, taking a slow, deep breath. Naruto must have noticed, because his grin only widened.
“I’m sure Sasuke was looking forward to this!” He belted out loudly, and Sakura couldn’t help but smile. She knew he was trying to make her feel better, because he thought that she was unaware of the fact that Sasuke probably didn’t want to look at their faces again.
Her lips pursed at the realization, and for a moment she regretted wanting to do this. Nevertheless, she made her way alongside her teammate to the home and as they were greeted at the door by Kakashi, Sakura’s eyes flew to the couch to the side, wherein sat Sasuke. Disrespectful as always, he didn’t walk up to greet them, and instead allowed Kakashi that distinct pleasure.
Sakura watched him, and remembered those dark, almost frightening eyes. Sasuke watched them back, though with a guarded emotion that Sakura herself could not point to. Kakashi smiled at the two of them and told them to enjoy themselves and to ask Sasuke if they needed anything, before scuttling off to another room of the house. Fighting her inhibitions, Sakura smiled brightly at the handsome boy and began to walk toward him, Naruto in tow. “Sasuke-kun!” Her hands were shaking, and she hoped that it wasn’t obvious. “It’s good to see you’re well!”
As expected, Sasuke gave no answer. He watched them quietly and with a fairly unmoving disposition; though Sakura wondered if his eyebrow had just twitched.
“Yeah, bastard,” Naruto’s voice was unnervingly loud again, and Sakura watched as Sasuke’s eyes floated impassively over to the other boy as they both sat down. “We were both wondering as to how you were doing and all.”
Sasuke still made no motion to speak, and Sakura pursed her lips. Sasuke was remarkably reserved, as she had thought he would be. He looked the same as ever, almost, though she knew that something inside him had changed. She fought back the urge to frown and maintained a cheery smile on her lips. “Naruto and I were going to buy you something nice to eat before we came,” She said, lowering her lashes a little. “But we didn’t know what type of sweets you liked best.”
“I don’t like sugary things.” Both seemed startled that he actually responded. Sakura lifted her gaze to meet Sasuke’s calm, even one.
“O-Oh,” She started to say, flustered. His gaze was penetrating and almost angry.
A long silence followed. Sakura fiddled with the end of her dress, and Naruto found something awfully interesting to gaze at on Kakashi’s couch. Sasuke simply stared.
Sakura always thought that Team Seven was an unlikely band of children, people who, under normal circumstances would have never even glanced at each other (with the exception of Sasuke, who it seemed attracted more glances than he cared for). But they had grown together for that one year as teammates and then as friends. She felt that more than anything, now, with Sasuke’s failed defection, they were returning back into strangers.
“So, bastard, have you been up to anything over these few days?” Sakura was surprised that Naruto broke the seven-minute silence, and turned to face him. He was a little tight-lipped though Sakura knew he was trying to put everything behind him and move on. Her eyes swept over his childish face, and would have smiled; at least he wasn’t about to let such a grudge get in the way of his friendship with Sasuke. Her heart brightened just a little.
Sasuke, however, did not find his attempts as endearing as she did. He simply narrowed his eyes at him. “None of your concern.”
Naruto’s eyes narrowed as well in reaction. “I was just asking, bastard.”
“And I replied.”
“What’s your problem?” Naruto was on the offensive now; it didn’t look like he was feeling overly sympathetic. Sakura cringed inwardly and moved to put a hand on his shoulder to still him, but withdrew her hand when the boy stood up, his body craning toward Sasuke’s confrontationally. “I’m trying to be nice, damn it, more than an asshole like you deserves!”
“I didn’t ask for you to. Don’t act so superficial, like a girl.”
Sakura wasn’t sure if she should have left just then, or if she should have interjected before things got out of hand. Sasuke had always been a little prickly, but it wasn’t often that he sounded so serious when he insulted Naruto. At least, back he didn’t when the relationship between the two of them was still healthy; when he hadn’t wanted to kill him, or anyone else who got in the way of his destructive goal. Sakura opted to remain silent. Unfortunately, Naruto didn’t.
The blonde growled a feral growl, his fists clenching once more, and Sasuke looked up at him steadily. Sakura looked around the room, her breath quickening. Where was Kakashi? If another fight broke out between them, Sakura knew she couldn’t do anything about it. Her eyes flew back to the dark-haired boy in front of her. She calmed slightly; the persistently impassive look on Sasuke’s face indicated that he was not in the mood to fight. She pursed her lips. “Um…let’s not fight, you two. Naruto and I just came to visit.” Her voice was surprisingly small, and Sakura felt as timid and shy as she once was when she was very young.
Naruto’s defensive stance flickered, and he stopped. It did not ease the hurt and offensive look on his face. “It looks like we’re not wanted, then, Sakura-chan,” He said, and the pain in his voice was evident. “We should leave.”
“Glad I made that clear enough.” Sasuke watched him with an unwavering gaze. He made no move to stop him. Sakura felt her heart shattering, and her eyes threatening to spill tears that she had tried her best to stay.
“Damn you!” Naruto’s voice was loud and clear, and Sakura flinched with the emotion that fluctuated through the words. “Can’t you just learn to move on, Sasuke? Forget about what happened at the Valley of the End! Why can’t you just forget about it? Why do you have to dwell on things like this? I don’t-none of us want to be your enemy!”
Sakura found herself stiffening. Count on Naruto to bring up such a sensitive subject, especially when the moment really didn’t call for it. She was almost afraid when she looked to Sasuke’s eyes.
There was a cold, burning anger flashing in those still eyes. Sakura was all too aware of the blood pounding in her ears as the other boy stood up.
“Get out.” His voice could have frozen the air around him. It was quiet, but it trembled just a little, and Sakura was sure that she had never heard Uchiha Sasuke’s voice waver in the way that it did just then.
Quickly, she got up as well, tears stinging the backs of her eyes. She couldn’t find herself able to make eye contact. This was a bad idea. Perhaps she should have waited a few weeks instead of a few days to suggest meeting Sasuke once more. She just had hoped that maybe, after he was stopped from defecting, that Sasuke would somehow just see that what he was doing was wrong.
Apparently, nothing of the sort had come even close to transpiring.
“Did something happen?” The poignantly late voice of the adult in the house made itself known as Kakashi walked into the living room, a book pertaining to the Icha Icha series in hand.
His former students could only stare in exasperation, and Kakashi cocked his head mildly, though something about him was quite alert. “Hmm?”
Sakura spoke up finally, after finding her voice. She hoped the tiny waver in her speech would go unnoticed. “Naruto and I were just leaving.”
“So soon?” Kakashi asked, his gaze meeting the Uchiha’s. Sasuke’s lips pursed.
Sakura shot a sideways glance at Naruto, who had his brows furrowed, a frown appearing on his sun-kissed face. Her eyes softened just a little at the sight. She wasn’t the only one so stricken by Sasuke’s behavior.
Perhaps she could learn something from Naruto. The blonde pestered and bothered and tried and tried until he got what he wanted. Why could she not use the same principles when their wayward teammate was involved? Sasuke would have to change. He couldn’t stay the same forever, could he? He couldn’t stay immersed in darkness forever; he’d have to find a way out, or else he’d face some painful emotional death. Sakura believed that Sasuke wouldn’t allow himself to get caught in a vicious cycle of darkness. There was a part of her that dared to dream that he was strong enough to see what such a thing could do to him.
Or, so she hoped, anyhow.
With that, Sakura looked at Kakashi with slightly drier eyes. There was a lingering sliver of girlish hope burning behind her iridescent eyes. “Yes, we’re leaving now. But...we-we’ll come back later. Maybe next week, to check on Sasuke-kun.” Sakura turned to the dark-haired boy and offered him a smile that he did not return.
Sasuke sat back down, his eyes flashing with apathy, and Sakura began to usher Naruto out of the house, noting the blonde’s look of frustration and a melancholy that just didn’t sit with his bright eyes and hair and skin. She was a little upset with the other boy for tightening tensions between them, but, as always, it seemed that Naruto had an uncanny knack for speaking out loud what exactly what was on her mind.
She wished Sasuke could move on too. She wished that, just this once, Sasuke would give into his weaknesses and let himself be taken care of.
Sakura, however, was fairly ignorant of Sasuke’s mental state. She had hope for Sasuke, who had shunned the selfsame hope she desired to impose upon him. Sakura wished to love him, and, with whimsical passion, felt that love was something that Sasuke would have to respond to, for the very reason that it was love. She was too childish to understand that love can be beyond a person. She couldn’t grasp just yet that Uchiha Sasuke had rejected not only her love, but the love of those around him.
That painful discovery lay for another day. At the moment, with ideals tucked firmly into her mind, she stepped past the door to the outdoors, though not without waving her goodbyes politely. Naruto went with her, and a bleak black gaze followed. She saw, out of the corner of her eye, the ache in written on his face as he let his eyes wander to best friend before they left.
-----
The walk back was oddly uncomfortable for Naruto. In his younger days, he would have leapt for the opportunity to walk Sakura alone to her home, but as he did just that, he found his mind fixated on the dark-haired boy he just left.
Sasuke had responded just the way he had expected him to. He was silent and despondent; at least, more so than usual. He had almost ignored the presence of his teammates, until he was provoked to break the quietness. Naruto was quite surprised with himself that he didn’t cry as he spoke those bitter words to him, and especially after he saw the coldness in Sasuke’s defensive eyes. But then he noted that Sakura was rather close to spilling over herself, and decided he’d try his best to hold it in for her sake. There was no need to make her sad too; he knew that she still healing from the visceral wounds that Sasuke had inflicted before his defection. He would have plenty of opportunities to mourn the emotional loss of his friend; there was no need to do so in front of Sakura.
Naruto was also aware of how strongly he was letting Sasuke’s attempted defection affect him. He felt as if he had said enough and more during his fight with Sasuke at the Valley of the End, and he found himself mulling over the words that his best friend had muttered to him. To Naruto, they were the mumblings of a sociopath, and a part of him was so shocked over what Sasuke had become.
Letting out a slow sigh, quiet enough that Sakura didn’t need to hear it, he pressed his lips together a little and allowed a fleeting glance at the kunoichi beside him. She looked as concerned as he did. Naruto bit the inside of his cheek. There was no need to get Sakura down about it. Putting on a bright smile, he turned to the girl.
“Sakura-chan, want to go to lunch with me?”
Sakura blinked and glanced over at the boy beside her. Naruto saw the corners of her mouth twitch as she expectedly rolled her eyes. “No.” She gave him the answer she always did, and the answer he expected.
“Just this once?” His smile broadened, though his brows remained furrowed.
Sakura simply sighed a little and looked aside, not answering. Naruto’s grin faded a little. The blonde lowered his gaze. “Sakura-chan, are you still thinking about Sasuke?”
A nod proved him right.
“He’ll come around, I’m sure of it. Even if he doesn’t want to, he has to, because I’ll make him.” Naruto wasn’t sure if he was assuring himself or Sakura, and decided that it was probably both.
His efforts were rewarded by a smile from Sakura. “I know, Naruto,” She said, her voice unusually soft. “He has to come back to us. I-we love him.”
Naruto felt warmth rising to his cheeks, but managed a nod. “Yeah,” He said slowly, “We do.”
A comfortable silence passed between the two friends for a while as they walked toward Sakura’s home. It was a lovely late summer day, with the trees still startlingly bright and the sun mellowing into an autumn glow.
“Though-Naruto.” Sakura’s voice pierced the unspoken words between them. “I wish you hadn’t said all that back there to him.”
Naruto looked over at her, and blinked twice before he understood what she was referring to: his little outburst about moving on. “Oh,” He managed sheepishly, “Yeah. I wish I hadn’t said it too.”
Naruto realized that he shouldn’t have said it right after he did; he wasn’t thinking and he was just so upset at the cold way Sasuke was treating him after he and the other ninja of Konoha put their effort into searching for him. He was upset at the way he was treating Sakura, who truly loved him in the way he wished she loved him. Sasuke had such a generous life waiting for him, and he chose to shun it all.
His gaze lifted toward Sakura, who was eyeing the path ahead of them with a detached concern. Her eyes were clouded and her eyelids lowered. Some part of her looked vaguely troubled.
“Something else the matter, Sakura-chan?” He asked.
Sakura paused a little before answering, “No.” She paused another moment before going back to her statement, her gaze still locked on the ground ahead of them. “Actually…I was wondering…what exactly happened between you two at the Valley of the End? Did Sasuke-kun offer an explanation at all?” Her eyes remained locked below her.
Naruto hesitated. He bit his lip a little as he let his eyes fall from her face as she asked; it was the one question he had hoped to avoid from her.
The memories of what happened between himself and Sasuke at the Valley were ones that he had mulled over so much that the images were like a videotape running from one dirty panel to the next. The words that were spoken seemed amplified in his mind. Sasuke had told him that Naruto was his best friend; he had subsequently said that because of that, it was worth killing him. Sasuke had told him that he didn’t care about anyone anymore, including him. Sasuke had told him so many things that Naruto wished he never had.
He felt Sakura’s gaze heavy on his face, and Naruto’s mouth began to open. Just as quickly, he felt it shut.
“Naruto?”
“I’m sorry, Sakura-chan.” Naruto’s voice was slightly downcast and serious. “I…I’ll tell you later.”
Sakura blinked. “Why? Did something…bad happen?”
“Well…it’s just that…Sasuke said a lot of things. You probably don’t want to hear it just yet.”
Naruto knew that what Sasuke had said to him at the Valley wouldn’t do a thing to ease Sakura’s pain over what her love had become. He knew it would do nothing but sadden her further, and he did not want that. Sakura was his teammate, as Sasuke was, and he wouldn’t cause her unnecessary pain. He would tell her when it was right to tell her. Ideally, it would be some day in the future when he and she and Sasuke were all friends again, taking a lunch break together and laughing about what an idiot their dark-haired friend was being when he had decided to go off to Orochimaru.
Of course, Sasuke had a tendency to shatter ideals, and Naruto could only hope.
As expected when she was not given an appropriate explanation, Sakura was a little indignant, her brows furrowing a little. “We’re all teammates, Naruto. Tell me.”
“I’m sorry, Sakura-chan.” He looked at her with a cheerless face and she calmed. “I promise I’ll tell you some other time. Not just yet. I’ll tell you when Sasuke isn’t being such a fucking ass.”
Sakura paused for a moment, letting out a small sigh of consent, and offered her teammate a smile, friendship warming her face. “And when is that going to happen, if it ever has?”
Naruto couldn’t help but grin and offer a small chuckle, though nostalgic longing was imbedded within his features. “I don’t know. Probably never.”
Sakura smiled fleetingly and the two continued on in silence.
-----
After the ordeal with Sakura and Naruto, Kakashi’s home was filled with awkward silences that had started become quite normal.
For the next few days, Kakashi flitted about the home, usually seen with some Icha Icha book clutched between his long, spidery fingers, while Sasuke pouted about in his room.
The jounin’s mind was, however, far from the tantalizing scenes playing out in the books before him, and rather, found himself quite annoyed. It figured that Sasuke would have to be a complete bitch about the fact that Naruto and Sakura visited. He had known even while Sakura had asked him that it would be this way, but the sincerely upset, wide-eyed look on the kunoichi’s face as she asked just made it impossible for him to disagree. In the end, however, he knew that allowing this to happen fell into one of his worse judgments.
Not to mention, Sasuke himself was starting to become a bother. He was always brooding, and when he wasn’t doing that he was somehow trying to tear down the house in effort to escape. His windows had especially taken quite a beating. It was really quite inconvenient.
And so, when he got that one call to go to the Godaime’s office, he dared to hope that she would hold the precious key to putting the both of them out of their miseries soon enough.
And when he came back to his home, Kakashi found himself in an awfully chipper mood. His mood simply rose even more when he made his way to Sasuke’s door and knocked with a silly little simper unfolding under his mask.
The petulant adolescent opened the door after a long pause meant to deter the older man from speaking with him. Unfortunately, said pause only made Kakashi’s smile turn into a full-fledged grin.
Sasuke finally slid open the door and eyed the older with annoyed eyes.
“Yes?”
Kakashi simpered. “I have a mission.”
“What?”
Kakashi could have chucked with some petty malice at the way the Uchiha’s dead eyes brightened just a little; bless the boy! Sasuke thought it meant he’d be staying in his home alone.
“I have a mission. This means that I won’t be here to supervise you for an extended period of time.” Of course, Kakashi left out the dangling bit at the end that was left unsaid: “And bless your naïve, sociopathic soul if you think I’ll let you stay in my home by yourself.”
Sasuke simply looked at him, as if expecting him to continue.
“So,” Kakashi humored him, “Since that’s the case, how would you like to spend a few days living with your best friend, Naruto?”
Sasuke’s eyes flashed dangerously and narrowed, and Kakashi noticed how his shoulders stiffened. “Fuck no,” He scowled and cocked his head; he was being rather defensive. However, Kakashi simply smiled, and almost felt a guilty pleasure as he responded.
“It’s settled, then. Do pack your things by the day after, Sasuke-kun.”
He took a fleeting glance of Sasuke’s cold indignant face as he slid the door back closed without another word.
-----
Wow. I need a beta. >.>