April 22
This is not about...
(Starts directly at the end of http://merchant-dream.livejournal.com/19448.html)
“I know you guys aren’t married, but it would still have to be-”
“No,” Lex interrupted him. “We’re not like you at all. We’re not even…together like that.”
“You’re not?” Remiel asked in surprise. He had heard the priestess talk about Alexander. He’d throught for sure the two were involved. “But you love her, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Lex admitted, “but not like you love Missy. Lena is my best friend. Heck, she’s been my only friend for years.” More quietly, he added, “And I destroyed her life.”
Remiel almost pointed out that his assessment actually sounded a lot like him and Missy, but he refrained.
“But this is not about you and Lena, or even Naolin,” Remiel said, mostly to remind himself.
They walked in silence for a while, but while Remiel began to focus more on the task at hand, Lex’s mind began to wander. He’d had so many chances to end Lena’s involvement in his mission. So many times he could have left her alone and continued on without her. She would still have her job at the Priest Guild, she would not have been estranged from her friends in Pithea, and she would have avoided sharing in the hardships the two had gone through as they lived in hiding. Lex would likely have died-at the hands of Rusalki during the Battle of Morano, if not sooner-but at least Lena would have had a normal life.
Instead, he had pushed her to continue fighting with him, until she had no choice but to leave her home and loved ones completely behind. All of this she had done purely out of friendship. It was his father who had gone missing, his mother who had been killed by Rusalki, and he who was wanted by the Wizard Guild.
Did he love her? How could he not? But he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her; she deserved much more than that. He would be doing her a favor if he just disappeared and left her alone. After they had dealt with the mysterious man who was threatening Lena’s friend. At least it was something he could do to repay the huge debt he felt he owed her.
((Time jumps and events are skipped to allow for continuation of former theme))
As Remiel and Alexander approached the former’s house, the girls saw them coming and hurried out to meet them. Though Missy and Lena knew the outcome of the encounter already, they were nonetheless relieved to see Remiel and Lex returning safe. All four went inside, but Lex and Lena lingered in the kitchen, sensing the Remiel and Missy would need sometime alone after the reappearance of Naolin. Lex would have preferred to just leave, but he knew they needed to share the details of what they’d discovered of Zarmetheos with Lena and Missy first.
He looked over at Lena, who was leaning her back against the counter, and saw the concern on her face.
“Are you okay?” he asked her.
“Yeah,” she said with a heavy exhale. “I am finding it difficult to process everything that has happened today.”
“It has been a lot, hasn’t it?”
She nodded at his understatement. He stepped closer to her and put his arms around her; she returned the embrace easily.
“You know I love you, right?” he spoke over her shoulder.
“I know,” she replied.
He pulled back and took a step to her right, leaning against the counter next to her. He slid his left arm around her shoulders as her arm wrapped around his back. He leaned over to kiss her temple before settling back against the counter, and she leaned her head lightly on his shoulder.
It had been a physically and emotionally draining night, and she had no idea how much better she made him feel just by being there with him. He thought about his plan to leave Pithea and let Lena make a normal life for herself. He didn’t want to do that anymore. He needed this woman in his life; he realized that now. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get past the feeling that he was being as selfish as ever.
(Starts directly at the end of http://merchant-dream.livejournal.com/19448.html)
“I know you guys aren’t married, but it would still have to be-”
“No,” Lex interrupted him. “We’re not like you at all. We’re not even…together like that.”
“You’re not?” Remiel asked in surprise. He had heard the priestess talk about Alexander. He’d throught for sure the two were involved. “But you love her, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Lex admitted, “but not like you love Missy. Lena is my best friend. Heck, she’s been my only friend for years.” More quietly, he added, “And I destroyed her life.”
Remiel almost pointed out that his assessment actually sounded a lot like him and Missy, but he refrained.
“But this is not about you and Lena, or even Naolin,” Remiel said, mostly to remind himself.
They walked in silence for a while, but while Remiel began to focus more on the task at hand, Lex’s mind began to wander. He’d had so many chances to end Lena’s involvement in his mission. So many times he could have left her alone and continued on without her. She would still have her job at the Priest Guild, she would not have been estranged from her friends in Pithea, and she would have avoided sharing in the hardships the two had gone through as they lived in hiding. Lex would likely have died-at the hands of Rusalki during the Battle of Morano, if not sooner-but at least Lena would have had a normal life.
Instead, he had pushed her to continue fighting with him, until she had no choice but to leave her home and loved ones completely behind. All of this she had done purely out of friendship. It was his father who had gone missing, his mother who had been killed by Rusalki, and he who was wanted by the Wizard Guild.
Did he love her? How could he not? But he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life with her; she deserved much more than that. He would be doing her a favor if he just disappeared and left her alone. After they had dealt with the mysterious man who was threatening Lena’s friend. At least it was something he could do to repay the huge debt he felt he owed her.
((Time jumps and events are skipped to allow for continuation of former theme))
As Remiel and Alexander approached the former’s house, the girls saw them coming and hurried out to meet them. Though Missy and Lena knew the outcome of the encounter already, they were nonetheless relieved to see Remiel and Lex returning safe. All four went inside, but Lex and Lena lingered in the kitchen, sensing the Remiel and Missy would need sometime alone after the reappearance of Naolin. Lex would have preferred to just leave, but he knew they needed to share the details of what they’d discovered of Zarmetheos with Lena and Missy first.
He looked over at Lena, who was leaning her back against the counter, and saw the concern on her face.
“Are you okay?” he asked her.
“Yeah,” she said with a heavy exhale. “I am finding it difficult to process everything that has happened today.”
“It has been a lot, hasn’t it?”
She nodded at his understatement. He stepped closer to her and put his arms around her; she returned the embrace easily.
“You know I love you, right?” he spoke over her shoulder.
“I know,” she replied.
He pulled back and took a step to her right, leaning against the counter next to her. He slid his left arm around her shoulders as her arm wrapped around his back. He leaned over to kiss her temple before settling back against the counter, and she leaned her head lightly on his shoulder.
It had been a physically and emotionally draining night, and she had no idea how much better she made him feel just by being there with him. He thought about his plan to leave Pithea and let Lena make a normal life for herself. He didn’t want to do that anymore. He needed this woman in his life; he realized that now. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get past the feeling that he was being as selfish as ever.