(no subject)
Huh. So I've been thinking about mental diseases again, and I decided to look up schizophrenia because I remembered my great uncle (I think? My first cousin once removed [my dad's cousin]?) has it, and hasn't been seen in like ten years or something. (I think he was last spotted in New York living as a bum. I don't know that side of my family so well, for some reason.) Anyway, because I've always overthought things and overanalyzed everything (and I think I've discussed this recently), I've wondered what kind of mental issue I would have, if I did have one. I always see psychosis things and every once in a while they'll strike a chord, but I figure I'm fine because, you know, I'm not getting panic attacks (MINUS THAT ZOMBIE ONE, it was a one-time thing). BUT, I've wondered if I could find something specific enough that I actually could be crazy. Now, I don't want to be crazy. I mean, I call myself crazy, but we all know I like odd things and enjoy hyperbole (rather a lot I've noticed lately; if I die and people analyze all my writing please make sure they know that my personal style was rather dependent on sarcasm and hyperbole.). I don't want to be taking mind-altering meds or locked up or seen as legitimately crazy. So anyway, I'm paging through wikipedia and I realize that social anxiety disorder strikes a lot of chords. See, the thing is; being crazy would be too convenient, and as I see it I seem to be functioning pretty well, so I don't think I'm actually crazy. (And if you're rationally looking at your issues you're less likely to be crazy, right?) So I don't know if this is just a case of, uh, what's that med-student (especially psychologists?) phenomenon where you think you have what you're studying? But yeah, I don't know if it's that or if I hit the nail on the head with social anxiety disorder. The problem is that it could also be a case of over-analysis (like the way-too-many diagnoses of ADD recently) of extreme introversion, and may be annoying but natural; I mean, each of the symptoms seem pretty common. Presentation, self-consciousness, talking to strangers, dating (!), blushing, mind going blank, increased heart rate, avoidance behaviors, and shaking... pretty common (uh, other than dating, but discussion/research has just led me to believe I'm just more on the asexual end of the spectrum and I just shrug it off... wish there were a less harsh term for it though, as it's not quite spot-on), but pretty applicable to me. (And I didn't include ones that I didn't find applicable.) But nonetheless, that's a pretty impressive list, to me. Mind going blank is a BIG thing for me. I can think of a hundred scenarios to try to head it off at the pass by having answers ready, and I still forget them. And a lot of times when I'm giving presentations or talking nervously my mind will go blank over the stupidest questions because I'm thinking too hard about the question or answering it wrong or whatever.
I dunno, what do you guys think? I'd really love to avoid psychology/psychiatry (FUCK, which is it), and I think some outside opinions might be useful here because we know if there's one thing I can do it's overthink it and work myself up about it.
But moving on.
(Almost) useless fact for the day: the plural of "penis" is not "penii" and if I see/hear that one more time I'm going to kill someone. THAT APPLIES TO "US" ENDINGS (AND OF LATIN WORDS!). If you think you're so clever, it's "penes."
Hilarious, however, is the fact that I can't pronounce this without making it sound like "peonies." Take that as you will.
I miss studying Spanish, or, heck any language at all. I need a place to keep my Spansh semi-fluent because otherwise I'm going to lose all skills. I'm already forgetting tenses other than present! (Not that I was ever good at those fucking past tenses anyway. And subjunctive! Oh, how I loathe subjunctive.)
Um, woah, George Orwell got shot in the throat by a sniper. That sounds... deathly. (And if you're wondering how I got to that link, it's in light of beatonna's latest comic, and wondering if I could pull off an Orwell comic. With that, maybe.) Additionally (I'm trying to expand from using "also" all the time), "Orwell" is a pretty freaking cool name for a pseudonym.
Back to my language, uh... what's the phrase. You know, the quirks of a language. Idiosyncracies? No. Dammit. Not idioms, either, though I think that was the word I was trying to come up with a few days ago. Anyway, other than a sudden realization in the past few days that if I pointed out that I enjoy hyperbole (and, uh, it's emotionally instinctual, I don't sit there and go, how can I make this ridiculous...), I would scare fewer people, but, um, I completely forget my original point. OH. Being in Hawaii has made me notice a few things. Pidgin kind of bothers me, so I'm pretty sure that even if I lived here full-time I wouldn't pick it up. I really can't bring myself to say "brah." BUT. I have picked up "howzit" (and "howzithowzit", additionally) from my roommate, because I was already prone to asking people "how's it going?"), and I already used "it's all good" though that phrase gets used out here a lot more too. I'll probably end up using "shaka" a lot, too. Not really aloha (mahalo is more likely than aloha, but not very likely either), that seems to be more of a touristy-slash-celebrationy thing. And it really drives me insane when people use it in a touristy way because they go "ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHA!" and the crowd is supposed to go "ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHA!" and I want to stab people for being ridiculous.
Some days I swear my trains of thought (train-of-thoughts? I doubt it) are more like fractals. I-have-this-idea-and-now-it's-gone-twelve-different-ways! Oye. (Can you use "oye" just as "oh" or "hey" and not like hey-I'm-trying-to-get-your-attention? Spanish input appreciated!)
Reverse dictionary. From a literary perspective, this looks like a ton of fun.
Mm, and more on the topic of languages. I really do miss Spanish, and since I want to go back to Barcelona (guh, at LEAST!) one day, I feel bad forgetting it. I also just feel more knowlegable when I remember miniscule inanities about the English language or enjoy language relationships, so, language always has been and will continue to be important to me. ANYWAY. I've been told when you go to college you (in this case me) should take Italian because it's pretty close to Spanish and then you'll know another language. But, I really have no interest in Italian other than it's another language and languages are cool. Plus I don't know if they teach it at UD. I was hoping to learn Hawaiian here, but that fell through, so I'm hoping maybe I can do it at UH if I come here for grad school. ANYWAY. I've been considering with the five-year deal, picking up a language again (even though I know it will be a lot of work). And, so, this is what I'm wondering. More Spanish, to master it, or Mandarin, or Arabic? Spanish seems most practical, but I don't know if I want to go to that level for now. Mandarin, pretty much purely a "heh they spoke Mandarin in ToD" but it would be cool to travel to Asia (though so many cool places to go scare the shit out of me because I don't speak the language) but Arabic seems to be perhaps the most useful at some point. Except that I can't imagine myself traveling to Araby the Middle East much until things die down (maybe a little?). (I do want to learn Polish but I don't think they offer that at UD either.)
Star Wars: this is kind of true. It's also what I will be saying about Indy IV if there are aliens involved. (Swear-to-fucking-god.)
And on that note (this is a lecture or a commentary [commentary rather], so don't leave me any obsessive comments about this), I am at an in-between level. I hate the cartoon on the premise that I hate the prequels. Love the originals, yes, even the ewoks because I like cute animals. Christmas Special I am not touching, ever. BUT. I do not like to argue the details of the originals, that annoys me. Kind of like all the people showing up at COW arguing over Indy stuff. Some guy posted pics of an original fedora and there were too many "I'm calling bullshit"s and not enough "THE HOLY GRAIL OF HATS"'s (don't ask me about that punctuation). Point is, I'm starting to hate fandom because all the discussion has turned into whining and bitching, and I don't want to hear it. If you're going to be an obsessive and/or whiny bitch please do it where it's appreciated (generally on your own time).
That being said, I try to make my obsession fun for you guys, but I'm not forcing you to read it. I try to mock myself enough to keep a level head. I think I do well enough.
(PS--REMINDER--THIS POST IS NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT STAR WARS, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.)
Hey, this sounds like a great idea! Let's move a highly contagious lviestock disease to a place where we're more likely to spread it. I am not sure these people have heard of Murphy's Law. It's kind of like "if you build it, he will come" in this case. If they build it, it is only a matter of time until we realize NOTHING IS 100%. (Except possibly death, but even then there is conservation of matter. Oh god let's not get into this either. This is topic #2 barred for comments.)
Hey uh, so, who thinks the Olympics aren't going to happen? This puppy right here does. That is to say, I do "not think the Olympics are going to happen." Which, really, it's just a shame China's not getting its act together.
Reminiscent of one of my many trains of thought on social phobias and my place within that sector. (I just spelled that "secter" corrected myself mentall to "sectre" which is totally my word now and then realized I meant "sector".) I do feel lonelier but I can't decide if that's engineering crushing my soul or not doing enough socializing or what, but on the other hand, I generally uphold better conversation online than I do in person. Uh, that's me trying to combine, like, the past two years of self-reflection into one sentence, so, youd' understand if I say that we're just skimming on the surface of that issue. Can I bar topic #3? Lol. Sorry to be such a hassle, I just think I'm setting myself up for a commentstorm I'm too tired to care about right now. =P
So, look. I found out what steampunk was just a few months ahead of the curve, apparently, and I really enjoyed it. However, the influx of newb idiocy (DO PEOPLE READ EVEN THREE POSTS BACK, AT ALL?) and lack of ingenuity being shown just seems to reaffirm my dislike for popular fashion. Popular fashion kills everything. I enjoy steampunk but if I see one more person spraypaint that fucking multibarrel nerf gun I'm going to strangle them. (PLEASE. INGENUITY. WHY DO PEOPLE FIND THIS SO DIFFICULT.) /rant
On that note, these would be much cooler if I weren't currently hating on the general steampunk populace, and if they weren't so close to those drawings that showed up last year. (Unless it's the same guy, which I doubt, but then that's totally fair.)
40 days! whatthefuck That's crazy. New Shia photos. When I saw them I was like "hmm, something's wrong about theseOH Steve Martin" and now that's unbelievably hilarious and I don't think I can unconnect (similar to unseeing) it. If there is a shot, front-on, of him riding it down the street trying to look like a badass SANS Marlon Brando (I always want to type "Marlin", but that's a fish. It is Marlon, right?) hat, I will be laughing my ass off, and I will probably be the only one. But I cannot. get. the image. out. of. my head.
SON BE A DE-ENTIST...
I dunno, what do you guys think? I'd really love to avoid psychology/psychiatry (FUCK, which is it), and I think some outside opinions might be useful here because we know if there's one thing I can do it's overthink it and work myself up about it.
But moving on.
(Almost) useless fact for the day: the plural of "penis" is not "penii" and if I see/hear that one more time I'm going to kill someone. THAT APPLIES TO "US" ENDINGS (AND OF LATIN WORDS!). If you think you're so clever, it's "penes."
Hilarious, however, is the fact that I can't pronounce this without making it sound like "peonies." Take that as you will.
I miss studying Spanish, or, heck any language at all. I need a place to keep my Spansh semi-fluent because otherwise I'm going to lose all skills. I'm already forgetting tenses other than present! (Not that I was ever good at those fucking past tenses anyway. And subjunctive! Oh, how I loathe subjunctive.)
Um, woah, George Orwell got shot in the throat by a sniper. That sounds... deathly. (And if you're wondering how I got to that link, it's in light of beatonna's latest comic, and wondering if I could pull off an Orwell comic. With that, maybe.) Additionally (I'm trying to expand from using "also" all the time), "Orwell" is a pretty freaking cool name for a pseudonym.
Back to my language, uh... what's the phrase. You know, the quirks of a language. Idiosyncracies? No. Dammit. Not idioms, either, though I think that was the word I was trying to come up with a few days ago. Anyway, other than a sudden realization in the past few days that if I pointed out that I enjoy hyperbole (and, uh, it's emotionally instinctual, I don't sit there and go, how can I make this ridiculous...), I would scare fewer people, but, um, I completely forget my original point. OH. Being in Hawaii has made me notice a few things. Pidgin kind of bothers me, so I'm pretty sure that even if I lived here full-time I wouldn't pick it up. I really can't bring myself to say "brah." BUT. I have picked up "howzit" (and "howzithowzit", additionally) from my roommate, because I was already prone to asking people "how's it going?"), and I already used "it's all good" though that phrase gets used out here a lot more too. I'll probably end up using "shaka" a lot, too. Not really aloha (mahalo is more likely than aloha, but not very likely either), that seems to be more of a touristy-slash-celebrationy thing. And it really drives me insane when people use it in a touristy way because they go "ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHA!" and the crowd is supposed to go "ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHA!" and I want to stab people for being ridiculous.
Some days I swear my trains of thought (train-of-thoughts? I doubt it) are more like fractals. I-have-this-idea-and-now-it's-gone-twelve-different-ways! Oye. (Can you use "oye" just as "oh" or "hey" and not like hey-I'm-trying-to-get-your-attention? Spanish input appreciated!)
Reverse dictionary. From a literary perspective, this looks like a ton of fun.
Mm, and more on the topic of languages. I really do miss Spanish, and since I want to go back to Barcelona (guh, at LEAST!) one day, I feel bad forgetting it. I also just feel more knowlegable when I remember miniscule inanities about the English language or enjoy language relationships, so, language always has been and will continue to be important to me. ANYWAY. I've been told when you go to college you (in this case me) should take Italian because it's pretty close to Spanish and then you'll know another language. But, I really have no interest in Italian other than it's another language and languages are cool. Plus I don't know if they teach it at UD. I was hoping to learn Hawaiian here, but that fell through, so I'm hoping maybe I can do it at UH if I come here for grad school. ANYWAY. I've been considering with the five-year deal, picking up a language again (even though I know it will be a lot of work). And, so, this is what I'm wondering. More Spanish, to master it, or Mandarin, or Arabic? Spanish seems most practical, but I don't know if I want to go to that level for now. Mandarin, pretty much purely a "heh they spoke Mandarin in ToD" but it would be cool to travel to Asia (though so many cool places to go scare the shit out of me because I don't speak the language) but Arabic seems to be perhaps the most useful at some point. Except that I can't imagine myself traveling to Araby the Middle East much until things die down (maybe a little?). (I do want to learn Polish but I don't think they offer that at UD either.)
Star Wars: this is kind of true. It's also what I will be saying about Indy IV if there are aliens involved. (Swear-to-fucking-god.)
And on that note (this is a lecture or a commentary [commentary rather], so don't leave me any obsessive comments about this), I am at an in-between level. I hate the cartoon on the premise that I hate the prequels. Love the originals, yes, even the ewoks because I like cute animals. Christmas Special I am not touching, ever. BUT. I do not like to argue the details of the originals, that annoys me. Kind of like all the people showing up at COW arguing over Indy stuff. Some guy posted pics of an original fedora and there were too many "I'm calling bullshit"s and not enough "THE HOLY GRAIL OF HATS"'s (don't ask me about that punctuation). Point is, I'm starting to hate fandom because all the discussion has turned into whining and bitching, and I don't want to hear it. If you're going to be an obsessive and/or whiny bitch please do it where it's appreciated (generally on your own time).
That being said, I try to make my obsession fun for you guys, but I'm not forcing you to read it. I try to mock myself enough to keep a level head. I think I do well enough.
(PS--REMINDER--THIS POST IS NOT HERE TO TALK ABOUT STAR WARS, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.)
Hey, this sounds like a great idea! Let's move a highly contagious lviestock disease to a place where we're more likely to spread it. I am not sure these people have heard of Murphy's Law. It's kind of like "if you build it, he will come" in this case. If they build it, it is only a matter of time until we realize NOTHING IS 100%. (Except possibly death, but even then there is conservation of matter. Oh god let's not get into this either. This is topic #2 barred for comments.)
Hey uh, so, who thinks the Olympics aren't going to happen? This puppy right here does. That is to say, I do "not think the Olympics are going to happen." Which, really, it's just a shame China's not getting its act together.
Reminiscent of one of my many trains of thought on social phobias and my place within that sector. (I just spelled that "secter" corrected myself mentall to "sectre" which is totally my word now and then realized I meant "sector".) I do feel lonelier but I can't decide if that's engineering crushing my soul or not doing enough socializing or what, but on the other hand, I generally uphold better conversation online than I do in person. Uh, that's me trying to combine, like, the past two years of self-reflection into one sentence, so, youd' understand if I say that we're just skimming on the surface of that issue. Can I bar topic #3? Lol. Sorry to be such a hassle, I just think I'm setting myself up for a commentstorm I'm too tired to care about right now. =P
So, look. I found out what steampunk was just a few months ahead of the curve, apparently, and I really enjoyed it. However, the influx of newb idiocy (DO PEOPLE READ EVEN THREE POSTS BACK, AT ALL?) and lack of ingenuity being shown just seems to reaffirm my dislike for popular fashion. Popular fashion kills everything. I enjoy steampunk but if I see one more person spraypaint that fucking multibarrel nerf gun I'm going to strangle them. (PLEASE. INGENUITY. WHY DO PEOPLE FIND THIS SO DIFFICULT.) /rant
On that note, these would be much cooler if I weren't currently hating on the general steampunk populace, and if they weren't so close to those drawings that showed up last year. (Unless it's the same guy, which I doubt, but then that's totally fair.)
40 days! whatthefuck That's crazy. New Shia photos. When I saw them I was like "hmm, something's wrong about theseOH Steve Martin" and now that's unbelievably hilarious and I don't think I can unconnect (similar to unseeing) it. If there is a shot, front-on, of him riding it down the street trying to look like a badass SANS Marlon Brando (I always want to type "Marlin", but that's a fish. It is Marlon, right?) hat, I will be laughing my ass off, and I will probably be the only one. But I cannot. get. the image. out. of. my head.
SON BE A DE-ENTIST...