Harry Potter Fanfic...AU
AU : What if everyone in the Harry Potter Universe were gangsters in the present day?
What if Lee Jordan was a con artist?
If I Were an Honest Man
by meowbooks
Moonlight filtered through the spacious windows and the gaps in the curtains. A bird perched on a sill of the the 15th floor of the building would've spied dark, wooden, floors, a minimally furnished--by design of course-- comfortable, apartment with clean, stylish lines. A world map dotted with push pins filled the space above the black, leather couch in the living room, to the left was a black bookcase with a thick tome proclaiming 'The Complete Works of Shakespeare' next to three different sized annotated copies of Hamlet, Dante's Inferno, The Catcher in the Rye, Great Expectations,Peter Pan,various sight-seeing photograph books, car books, art books,and various novels about spies, mysteries, and cowboys.
The door of the flat opened.Lee danced inside humming a nameless tune he had made up for the occasion. He flipped the lights on. He twirled around once and closed the door with a backwards kick.Lee tossed his navy blue fedora with a black band like a Frisbee towards the coffee table, it slid off the end, and he shrugged before turning to lock the door. He removed his long, brown, trench coat and hung it on the coat rack. He slipped out of his shiny, black, shoes, skid across the floor in his socks, loosened his tie,scooped up his hat and dropped it and his keys on the coffee table before heading into the kitchen.
He stuck his head into the fridge and reached for some strawberry soy milk. He poured himself a glass. He still wasn't sure why a drink made from soy had to be called 'milk' when it wasn't milk nor why someone had decided to add fruit to it. He'd wanted to try something new.Rosalie had taken his impulse to heart and dumped a bunch of drinks with pink on the container into his basket.
He heard the door swing open and he drained his glass,"Rosalie?" He set his glass on the counter and headed towards the door."We have something to celebrate toni---"
"Really?You're thinking karaoke, right?"said Rosalie perching her sunglasses on top of her head.
Lee moved forward still staring, "What happened?" She had tried to hide the split in her lip with lipstick, but all the foundation caked around her left eye and cheek couldn't hide the ugly bruises.
"I'm fine,"said Rosalie hanging her coat on the rack next to Lee's. "More than fine,"she grinned. "I think I broke his nose."
Lee's eyes narrowed,"Ned?" Ned was her bloody ex-boyfriend who didn't take no for an answer. Lee had offered to let some of his -ahem- less pleasant acquaintances' send him a message, but she kept refusing. She had also refused to let Lee personally kick his teeth in on her behalf. "Where did this happen?"
"My flat.He never gave his key back,"sighed Rosalie.She flopped onto the couch and propped her feet on the coffee table. She carefully scooted Lee's hat and keys to the side with a boot to give herself more room to spread out.
"Why didn't you change the locks?"said Lee sitting next to her.
"He broke a window when when I kicked his arse out.I had to get it fixed.I could barely afford that. I didn't want to spend another second with him. I wasn't thinking about a key."
"You should move. You can live here."
"We've talked about this.I don't like it here,"said Rosalie. "I look around and I can't help thinking about where all of it came from."
"I'll sell all of it," smiled Lee. "Donate the proceeds to charity."
Rosalie tilted her head to the side and shook her head."If you buy another place it's the same problem, love."
"It won't be. That's what we're celebrating."
"A proper job?"said Rosalie sitting up and removing her boots from the table. "Where? How?"
"A very small, local, radio station.Um, I may have left out a few details in my C.V., but it's a start, right?" In addition to leaving a few details out, Lee had also substituted a few details in. He'd sent out multiple C.V.s and while he'd tried to make them fit the different jobs he was applying for it was still an eclectic mix. He'd listed a brief stint as a bookie as "accountant's assistant," a few jobs as "security consulting,"along with his few, honest and legal endeavors.All the reference numbers were people either willing to vouch for his reliability for job related purposes or owed him a favor. Strictly speaking, he hadn't listed any 'character' references.
"It's not much, but in a few months if we pool our meager honest wages together we could get a pathetic little flat or something, somewhere safer than where you are, where no one from our old lives will ever find us."
"Lee Jordan, respectable? Stop. The. Presses,"snickered Rosalie resting her head on his shoulder. "Let's stay in tonight. Eat take-away.See what's on the telly."
"I thought you didn't like it here,"said Lee arching a brow.
"We're celebrating. You're leaving all this. Might as well enjoy these creature comforts while they're here."
So they did. They ordered Chinese. Lee brought out his most expensive wine and they clinked glasses as they sprawled out on the floor having a little indoor picnic. Later, they threw fortune cookie wrappers at the stupid people on the telly who split up to look for the murderer. They sat out on the balcony making up constellations because they couldn't actually see the stars. They woke up in each other's arms on the deck chair on the balcony when the sun was too bright to ignore.
"I'll take you home,"yawned Lee.
"I'm not a damsel in distress, good sir,"said Rosalie standing up to stretch.Lee blinked noticing the bruises on her face again. He frowned slightly, but quickly replaced it with a smile.
"Ah. 'Tis true. Then, I beg of thee, for my sake, allow me to accompany you on this journey."
She drew herself to her full height and studied him, pausing to take in his exaggerated show of concern. She sighed as if what she said next was against her better judgement,"For the sake of your troubled soul, I shall acquiesce."
"You have done me a great service, m'lady,"said Lee kissing her hand as they walked back inside. She snorted and pulled her hand away. She slipped her bag back over her shoulder.
"It was either this or you texting me like an impatient child. 'Are you there yet? Are you alright? Can you come back? I'm scared of my rubbish bins.' "
Lee grabbed his keys off the coffee table and flipped a fedora on his head, "I would've come up with a better story than that."
***
Lee woke with a start. The sun slashed through the gap in the curtains in his bedroom. He growled, turned over, and pulled a pillow over his head, but didn't dare fall asLeep again. He didn't want to relive what happened after that. Not when he'd want to change every single second. And what if Dream Lee succeeded where Real Lee had failed? He'd wake up in this cruel, shitty, reality without her. And he couldn't take that. It had been hard enough living through it once...
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Inspired by hogwartswasteland-rp on Tumblr.(If you click on the link be aware the RPblogs connected to it are NSFW.