What do you REALLY want to know??
Okay, how many times have you gone into your email box, full of hope that someone will send you you something that doesn't so closely resemble crap, and you see this:
"FWD:FWD: All about me...do this one!!!"
Yeah. You don't have time for this shit. And then, the sobering realization: Well, actually, I do have time for this shit. My life sucks.
And then you open it, in hopes that there will be something worth reading.
>>>>Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla all the way baby! What can I say..I'm jsut a vanilla girl 4life!
>>>>Do you drink: Fuck yeah! Amaretto Sours and Grape Bombs 4 life!!!
>>>>Coke or Pepsi: COKE! NO JOKE! Coke rules, Pepsi DROOLS!!!
::Scrolls down, looking for...god...anything better::
>>>>Ocean or swimming pool: OMG ocean all the way. I love the beach. Panama City 2003!!!Wooh!
>>>>Turkey or chicken: Thats a tough one...but I really love BK Chicken Fries...so I guess chicken. But only with Honey mustard dipping sauce. Woohoo! Honey mustard for life!!!!
::SIGH::
::Oh wait, I think It might be getting good::
>>>>Are you a virgin: [wink]...teehee ;-)
>>>>Who was the last person you kissed: Weeellll....my dog, Buster, gave me kissies yesterday when I got home from the tanning salon. But I he really just likes the taste of my Australion Gold Tanning Lotion....LOL
We've all been there. Who writes this crap? And who actually wastes their time copying and pasting it into an entirely separate email and filling it out?\? And who could possibly think that you, or I, or ANYONE besides the narcissistic buttplug that sent it, gives 4 shits about what someone's favorite icecream flavor is?? Here's an idea...send me a survey with facts about yourself that might actually be of interest:
>>Name:Joe Shmo
>>Age: 23
>>Birthplace: Metropolis
>>Last time you gave/recieved oral: recieved/this morning
>>Ever eaten a booger: yep
>>How hot is your mom: fuck you
>>Will you have sex with me: get me drunk enough
>>Any of your girlfriends ever failed a pap test: yeah, like, most of them....is that bad?
>>Last time you pooped: 10 min ago
>>What color was it: brown, with corn
>>Hot Carl or Golden Shower: um... death...actually, on a cold day, I'd take the golden
>>Ever been with a hooker: does oriental massage count?
>>If you could kill a member of your family,who: my alcoholic step-aunt Karen who always tries to makeout with me
>>Ever slept with a married person: yeah...your wife....naw dude, jk. I felt up my 12th grade english teacher tho
>>Last time you went to the strip club: week ago
>>How much did you spend: 320
>>Drown/Burn to death: drown for sure
>>Do you watch Golden Girls: fuck no
>>Seriously, do you watch it: dude, i said no
>>Tell the fucking truth, you know you do: Ok yeah
>>Abortion or adoption: denial until I am served with a court orderd paternity test
>>Favorite Golden Girl: I told you dude, I don't watch it......::sigh:: ok Sophia
>>Wiping: Back2front/front2back: wipe???
>>If you had a dead body on your hands, how would you get rid of it: plant it in your trunk, just for a goof, then chop it up and burn it
>>Name of your penis: Theo Huxtable
>>Length of your penis: 9" they call me "The Rock"
>>Tell the truth: 5" :-(
>>Ever boned a fat chic: Naw but I got head from this chic with really wide hips at my cousins wedding
>>What would you more like to see shot out of a cannon, a kitten or a red headed toddler: normally I'd say kitten, but the red hair is a wild card....launch the kid
>>Pepsi or Cocaine: uh...pepsi....:::sniiifff::::
>>Ever had headlice: no
>>Tell the truth: 1st grade :-(
>>Last time you pissed yourself/crapped your pants: pissed my buddy brad's couch last semester, sorry brad...haven't crapped them in awhile, but I sharted a little when I saw Wedding Crashers.
>>What should you be doing instead of filling out this survey: Pickin my grandma up from the nursing home, its her birthday...but dammit, this is just too fun.......86 isn't like, an important birthday.
That is the kind of shit I want to know, Joe.
"FWD:FWD: All about me...do this one!!!"
Yeah. You don't have time for this shit. And then, the sobering realization: Well, actually, I do have time for this shit. My life sucks.
And then you open it, in hopes that there will be something worth reading.
>>>>Favorite ice cream flavor: Vanilla all the way baby! What can I say..I'm jsut a vanilla girl 4life!
>>>>Do you drink: Fuck yeah! Amaretto Sours and Grape Bombs 4 life!!!
>>>>Coke or Pepsi: COKE! NO JOKE! Coke rules, Pepsi DROOLS!!!
::Scrolls down, looking for...god...anything better::
>>>>Ocean or swimming pool: OMG ocean all the way. I love the beach. Panama City 2003!!!Wooh!
>>>>Turkey or chicken: Thats a tough one...but I really love BK Chicken Fries...so I guess chicken. But only with Honey mustard dipping sauce. Woohoo! Honey mustard for life!!!!
::SIGH::
::Oh wait, I think It might be getting good::
>>>>Are you a virgin: [wink]...teehee ;-)
>>>>Who was the last person you kissed: Weeellll....my dog, Buster, gave me kissies yesterday when I got home from the tanning salon. But I he really just likes the taste of my Australion Gold Tanning Lotion....LOL
We've all been there. Who writes this crap? And who actually wastes their time copying and pasting it into an entirely separate email and filling it out?\? And who could possibly think that you, or I, or ANYONE besides the narcissistic buttplug that sent it, gives 4 shits about what someone's favorite icecream flavor is?? Here's an idea...send me a survey with facts about yourself that might actually be of interest:
>>Name:Joe Shmo
>>Age: 23
>>Birthplace: Metropolis
>>Last time you gave/recieved oral: recieved/this morning
>>Ever eaten a booger: yep
>>How hot is your mom: fuck you
>>Will you have sex with me: get me drunk enough
>>Any of your girlfriends ever failed a pap test: yeah, like, most of them....is that bad?
>>Last time you pooped: 10 min ago
>>What color was it: brown, with corn
>>Hot Carl or Golden Shower: um... death...actually, on a cold day, I'd take the golden
>>Ever been with a hooker: does oriental massage count?
>>If you could kill a member of your family,who: my alcoholic step-aunt Karen who always tries to makeout with me
>>Ever slept with a married person: yeah...your wife....naw dude, jk. I felt up my 12th grade english teacher tho
>>Last time you went to the strip club: week ago
>>How much did you spend: 320
>>Drown/Burn to death: drown for sure
>>Do you watch Golden Girls: fuck no
>>Seriously, do you watch it: dude, i said no
>>Tell the fucking truth, you know you do: Ok yeah
>>Abortion or adoption: denial until I am served with a court orderd paternity test
>>Favorite Golden Girl: I told you dude, I don't watch it......::sigh:: ok Sophia
>>Wiping: Back2front/front2back: wipe???
>>If you had a dead body on your hands, how would you get rid of it: plant it in your trunk, just for a goof, then chop it up and burn it
>>Name of your penis: Theo Huxtable
>>Length of your penis: 9" they call me "The Rock"
>>Tell the truth: 5" :-(
>>Ever boned a fat chic: Naw but I got head from this chic with really wide hips at my cousins wedding
>>What would you more like to see shot out of a cannon, a kitten or a red headed toddler: normally I'd say kitten, but the red hair is a wild card....launch the kid
>>Pepsi or Cocaine: uh...pepsi....:::sniiifff::::
>>Ever had headlice: no
>>Tell the truth: 1st grade :-(
>>Last time you pissed yourself/crapped your pants: pissed my buddy brad's couch last semester, sorry brad...haven't crapped them in awhile, but I sharted a little when I saw Wedding Crashers.
>>What should you be doing instead of filling out this survey: Pickin my grandma up from the nursing home, its her birthday...but dammit, this is just too fun.......86 isn't like, an important birthday.
That is the kind of shit I want to know, Joe.