ore sick

[meofpieces]

i know that these past few months haven't really shown this, but that month (two months?) "together" meant so much to me, looking back. i wish i hadn't been so stubborn because now you're leaving and moving on to bigger and better things. those conversations we'd have - though i always felt much less intelligent - were so important. i'm sure you would have felt similarly. and rightfully so i felt less intelligent: you're older than me, have seen more and gone through more because of that fact alone. i'm going to sincerely miss you, and i can't express it enough. i know you'll never read this because i doubt you have a livejournal, let alone know who i am on it. i wish i could go back and make those months after better, but i can't and i guess i'll just have to apply what i've learned here to other and future relationships i have. you are one of the most intelligent and clever people i know, and i can't wait to see what you make of yourself. i admire you, your work, your eagerness and drive to learn, and everything else you possess that i haven't seen and may never see. i love you for all these things you are, and for the things you are not. i didn't realize it then, but i loved you then too. in love with you? i don't know, but i was in love with the idea of you. and i definitely loved the side of you i was lucky enough to see. be well, reread what you've written and what i read in that book today, and keep it with you. i promise to try and do the same.

love always, and please be in touch,
Maegan.