Update and moderate cheerfulness
The MRI scan came back normal, having been beamed to Very Important Specialist in Oxford. Some blood tests which had come out a bit odd were redone and came back normal (Paediatrician Relative reckons there's a dodgy batch of reagents doing the rounds at the moment, but the staff here didn't mention that to us, oddly enough - would never do to endanger the image of biomedical infallibility). The Baby is out of an incubator and into a cot, which makes it much easier to handle him. They also took his canula out last night which I am very happy about, both because I hated it and because it represents the fact that they are not expecting him to need another dose of the anti-convulsant drugs. They are talking about getting him out of the main Unit altogether and in with me in my prison cell, after The Sacred Dr's Round, which is happening now. Not quite sure how they're going to fit a cot in here, but he can always sleep in the washbasin. (Extra narrow single bed that can't go flush against any wall because of radiators and sockets means that co-sleeping is not an option). I said to the (nice) nurse who's on just now that we would prefer an earlier discharge, were confident parents, have a toddler who's very upset by my absence and were generally not the sort of people who need the extra reassurance of time spent hanging around pointlessly on the Unit (well, I didn't say 'pointlessly'). She said she'd pass that on to The Doctors, so I'm hoping we might get home by or after the weekend.
While I'm on the Unit I'm allowed to eat with the 'normal' post-natal women on their ward. D, however, is not allowed to eat. Because clearly men are not important in this. I wonder whether s/he'd be allowed to eat if we were two women? I suspect not because I think I'd be classified as 'the mother' and she as 'the partner'. (Also makes me think of a lesbian friend whose partner had a baby who went into SCBU. The nursing staff wouldn't let her in because 'only mothers and fathers are allowed on the unit'. After arguing politely for ages, she lost her temper and shouted 'I am the father!' and they let her in after that).
So far I've missed most meals because I kept oversleeping breakfast and then being with PB at other meal times. Also because the food is utterly terrible. But I did make it to breakfast this morning and seeing the other women who've had their babies in the last few days made me realise that we're no longer in the 'completely newborn' period. Seeing them all moving so gingerly, wincing as they sat down on the hard chairs, one poor woman leaking blood onto the floor, and just generally projecting auras of such fragility and vulnerability. It seems odd to be feeling in such a better situation than them, since their babies are fine and mine is in ICU. But I do feel less vulnerable than that. I still have to move a bit carefully, I notice I'm not vaulting the babygate at home as I usually do and I'm still taking Ibuprofen a couple of times a day. But I feel well on the road to physical recovery and because breastfeeding is going so well, despite the best efforts of the ICU staff, I feel out of that awful period when every feed is a worry.
Going home is going to have many challenges, and I'm pretty sure we've all got processing to do of stuff we've just shoved away because we've been in emergency mode for so long (note to self: do not expect PB to start sleeping through as soon as we get home). But I'm pretty sure we're going to be okay in the long term (as long as the fits do turn out to be 'just one of those things newborns do sometimes'.
ooh, ooh, typing one handed now because they've just brought him thro to me. no wires! just my darling baby feeding like he used to. *weeps*
While I'm on the Unit I'm allowed to eat with the 'normal' post-natal women on their ward. D, however, is not allowed to eat. Because clearly men are not important in this. I wonder whether s/he'd be allowed to eat if we were two women? I suspect not because I think I'd be classified as 'the mother' and she as 'the partner'. (Also makes me think of a lesbian friend whose partner had a baby who went into SCBU. The nursing staff wouldn't let her in because 'only mothers and fathers are allowed on the unit'. After arguing politely for ages, she lost her temper and shouted 'I am the father!' and they let her in after that).
So far I've missed most meals because I kept oversleeping breakfast and then being with PB at other meal times. Also because the food is utterly terrible. But I did make it to breakfast this morning and seeing the other women who've had their babies in the last few days made me realise that we're no longer in the 'completely newborn' period. Seeing them all moving so gingerly, wincing as they sat down on the hard chairs, one poor woman leaking blood onto the floor, and just generally projecting auras of such fragility and vulnerability. It seems odd to be feeling in such a better situation than them, since their babies are fine and mine is in ICU. But I do feel less vulnerable than that. I still have to move a bit carefully, I notice I'm not vaulting the babygate at home as I usually do and I'm still taking Ibuprofen a couple of times a day. But I feel well on the road to physical recovery and because breastfeeding is going so well, despite the best efforts of the ICU staff, I feel out of that awful period when every feed is a worry.
Going home is going to have many challenges, and I'm pretty sure we've all got processing to do of stuff we've just shoved away because we've been in emergency mode for so long (note to self: do not expect PB to start sleeping through as soon as we get home). But I'm pretty sure we're going to be okay in the long term (as long as the fits do turn out to be 'just one of those things newborns do sometimes'.
ooh, ooh, typing one handed now because they've just brought him thro to me. no wires! just my darling baby feeding like he used to. *weeps*