Reinterpreting
One of the things that's hard about having a sick baby is the way you end up re-reading otherwise innocuous or even positive signs as negative. Apart from his initial refusal to be out of our arms at all, which made sleep for us difficult, I've been experiencing this baby as much easier than PB was as a newborn. This is undoubtedly partly because the birth was much better and I know what I'm doing more and am better at reading babies, but it's also partly from him. He is/was a much more settled and contented baby who only cries for perfectly obvious reasons (and so, hardly at all at home, because we can attend to those needs quickly).
But now, of course, I'm reading this as unnaturally and worryingly placid because he is sick. PB was a difficult baby partly because he was so interested in the world and so determined, characteristics that he still has, and that I love and am really proud of in him, as a toddler. I worry that this baby is 'easy' because he's withdrawn and insecure. We're doing our best with 'kangeroo care' but it's not easy to do attachment promoting things with a baby in hospital and a toddler who also needs you.
Tonight he fed at midnight. The staff came to get me at 5 becuse they don't leave them more than 5 hours without a feed (which is fine by me). But he wouldn't feed. If nothing untoward had happened, I'd probably be rejoicing at him showing signs of becoming one of those miraculous babies that starts sleeping through by 6 weeks. (Actually, I'd probably be a little bit freaked out, from the contrast with PB who fed every 2 hours, day and night until he was 4 months old, but I'd be happy too). But instead I'm worried that he's ill.
ETA He had a reasonable feed at 8.45. But they kicked me off the ward before he'd finished because it was time for the dr's round. I grumbled, but not very effectively. Still a bit freaked out that he's not feeding enough - they don't weigh them until Thurs, so don't know whether he's gaining weight okay. He probably is, but I'd like to be reassured on this.
But now, of course, I'm reading this as unnaturally and worryingly placid because he is sick. PB was a difficult baby partly because he was so interested in the world and so determined, characteristics that he still has, and that I love and am really proud of in him, as a toddler. I worry that this baby is 'easy' because he's withdrawn and insecure. We're doing our best with 'kangeroo care' but it's not easy to do attachment promoting things with a baby in hospital and a toddler who also needs you.
Tonight he fed at midnight. The staff came to get me at 5 becuse they don't leave them more than 5 hours without a feed (which is fine by me). But he wouldn't feed. If nothing untoward had happened, I'd probably be rejoicing at him showing signs of becoming one of those miraculous babies that starts sleeping through by 6 weeks. (Actually, I'd probably be a little bit freaked out, from the contrast with PB who fed every 2 hours, day and night until he was 4 months old, but I'd be happy too). But instead I'm worried that he's ill.
ETA He had a reasonable feed at 8.45. But they kicked me off the ward before he'd finished because it was time for the dr's round. I grumbled, but not very effectively. Still a bit freaked out that he's not feeding enough - they don't weigh them until Thurs, so don't know whether he's gaining weight okay. He probably is, but I'd like to be reassured on this.