On having a black eye
I've had a black eye for about 10 days now. It's been a very interesting experience.
I'm interested that I was surprised how much it hurt. What was I expecting? A purely cosmetic injury once the initial pain of impact had faded? I think I rather was. Black eyes are such a visual gag that perhaps I'd only thought of them from the outside as a visual feature. This is quite unlike other unwanted injuries that I've yet to experience which generally make me wince when I see them on someone else.
How absurd it is that it is called a black eye. Mine has been violet, plum, burgundy, claret, raspberry, forest green, prussian blue, light green, orange and sallow yellow, but never at any stage black, not even from a distance.
As you might expect, I've been particularly interested in my own and other people's reactions to it. Some people have clearly just not noticed it, especially since it has begun to fade. I think the reddish-black frame of my glasses confuses the visual impression. I feel rueful and discouraged about my usual appearance when people don't notice it because I imagine that it's masked by my other skin blemishes (the dark circles of tiredness under my eyes and the now-seemingly-a-permanent-feature mask-of-pregnancy which also makes a curved shape under my eyes). Do I look as if I practically have a black eye all the time? I know I don't really. I suspect that it's mostly that most people don't pay much attention to changes to other people's faces, which I find a little weird, because I do, but several people have told me they hadn't noticed until I pointed it out to them.
People generally ask how I did it, which I guess is standard for obvious injuries, but with a humorous tone that I think you wouldn't get for most other injuries. Or would you for a broken arm or leg? Somehow, those seem potentially risible to me, in a way that a back injury doesn't. What's that about, then?
It feels to me as if there's a mutual, often unspoken, referencing of the possibility of domestic violence in all these enquiries (which is then sometimes voiced explicitly as a joke). Sometimes people jokingly attribute it to my partner beating me up before I have explained how it did happen, which is depressing about the continuation of stereotypes about the kind of person who experiences domestic violence. Obviously someone like me couldn't really be being beaten up (For the avoidance of doubt: that was sarcasm).
I think domestic abuse was definitely in my GP's mind when I went to see her with an unrelated collection of my own and the children's health issues. I thought she was being uncharacteristically dismissive of LB's minor health issue, but if she was treating that as me ice-breaking before disclosing domestic violence, that would make more sense. When I started my own account of recurrent sinusitis, she could bear it no longer and burst out 'but what happened to your eye?!'. On reflection, I might have added to that impression myself by starting the consultation by saying 'I've got a bit of a family collection of issues' - she may have associated 'family' with 'family violence' perhaps.
I wouldn't say I positively recommend the experience of having a black eye, but it has been very interesting.
Oh, I expect you want to know how I did do it? I lay perfectly still, half-asleep in bed.
Oh alright then: ... and LB was clambering all over me, slipped, and bopped me on the cheekbone with his canon-ball like head.
I'm interested that I was surprised how much it hurt. What was I expecting? A purely cosmetic injury once the initial pain of impact had faded? I think I rather was. Black eyes are such a visual gag that perhaps I'd only thought of them from the outside as a visual feature. This is quite unlike other unwanted injuries that I've yet to experience which generally make me wince when I see them on someone else.
How absurd it is that it is called a black eye. Mine has been violet, plum, burgundy, claret, raspberry, forest green, prussian blue, light green, orange and sallow yellow, but never at any stage black, not even from a distance.
As you might expect, I've been particularly interested in my own and other people's reactions to it. Some people have clearly just not noticed it, especially since it has begun to fade. I think the reddish-black frame of my glasses confuses the visual impression. I feel rueful and discouraged about my usual appearance when people don't notice it because I imagine that it's masked by my other skin blemishes (the dark circles of tiredness under my eyes and the now-seemingly-a-permanent-feature mask-of-pregnancy which also makes a curved shape under my eyes). Do I look as if I practically have a black eye all the time? I know I don't really. I suspect that it's mostly that most people don't pay much attention to changes to other people's faces, which I find a little weird, because I do, but several people have told me they hadn't noticed until I pointed it out to them.
People generally ask how I did it, which I guess is standard for obvious injuries, but with a humorous tone that I think you wouldn't get for most other injuries. Or would you for a broken arm or leg? Somehow, those seem potentially risible to me, in a way that a back injury doesn't. What's that about, then?
It feels to me as if there's a mutual, often unspoken, referencing of the possibility of domestic violence in all these enquiries (which is then sometimes voiced explicitly as a joke). Sometimes people jokingly attribute it to my partner beating me up before I have explained how it did happen, which is depressing about the continuation of stereotypes about the kind of person who experiences domestic violence. Obviously someone like me couldn't really be being beaten up (For the avoidance of doubt: that was sarcasm).
I think domestic abuse was definitely in my GP's mind when I went to see her with an unrelated collection of my own and the children's health issues. I thought she was being uncharacteristically dismissive of LB's minor health issue, but if she was treating that as me ice-breaking before disclosing domestic violence, that would make more sense. When I started my own account of recurrent sinusitis, she could bear it no longer and burst out 'but what happened to your eye?!'. On reflection, I might have added to that impression myself by starting the consultation by saying 'I've got a bit of a family collection of issues' - she may have associated 'family' with 'family violence' perhaps.
I wouldn't say I positively recommend the experience of having a black eye, but it has been very interesting.
Oh, I expect you want to know how I did do it? I lay perfectly still, half-asleep in bed.
Oh alright then: ... and LB was clambering all over me, slipped, and bopped me on the cheekbone with his canon-ball like head.