Ya know girls look for guys like you, and all we find are the assholes. I empathize with you. I am not gonna pull the bullshit "You'll find it someday" because when you don't look it smacks you in the head. Maybe then you won't want it. Life is a bitch and she likes to fuck with people. You can have love without sparks, and you can have sparks without love. It is harder to find both, and I'm in a long-term relationship. Granted I don't comb his hair, and dress like him, but I do get fucked over. If Alex came over in a tie and had a picnic basket I would probably cry. The thing is we get so used to devoting ourselves to assholes that when a genuine GOOD GUY comes along we feel insufficient. However I think these quotes could probably help more than anything I could say
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I agree completely. A girl goes through so many assholes before she finds a good guy that she doesn't know how to deal with it. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if a guy dressed up and took me for a picnic at the lake.
I honestly wouldn't consider myself worthy of a guy who did that. I could see myself sabotaging the relationship before it ever even started in a case like that.
Don't stop giving a shit. The world needs all the good guys it can get.
I'm not going to sit here and tell you that a perfect loving relationship is going to just appear because you wouldn't want to hear that. They all have pro's and con's...no relationship is perfect. We all know that.
And yes, someone who does sweet things like that does make me feel less worthy of his love. Not necessarily all girls, but me. I guess it would seem too perfect. I'd think that it was going to come to an end eventually. Like the guy was winning me, then things would change after he knew that he had won.
never said i just wanted a relationship to appear... just reflecting on some previous ones is all... i must keep up my jaded appearances.. *smile*
and i know that relationships are always work, enjoyable work mostly, but still.. they dont just carry themselves. Although i think it is sort of sad that we have convinced ourselves that people only do sweet things to lure us in, after that comfortability sets in... really sad.
Hey about the drivel and the long term relationships, and the screaming. I have been in one for the past year and nine months...... Blah. What I wouldn't GIVE for passion. It USED to be there.... but eventually unless both people make an effort it might as well never have been there. While I love Alex, there is always something more that leaves me wanting. Love isn't fair to ANYONE,including the people in it. Jennifer
you know it is interesting, because in my last long term relationship i could almost nail it down to the day when the passion left... and i know i was just as guilty as she was.. it cannot be left to the to the other person to keep it up, it is left to BOTH people.. it is too easy to just let it fade away and try to get it back later
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Trust me I have TRIED to make myself more interesting. I fix my hair, he complains and likes it better plain. I put makeup on he tells me that he appreciates my "natural beauty". I dress up or try something sexy.... "More work to deal with later." I know he cares, and I know he tries. We have both gone through a lot in the past couple of months. He joined the Marines, I am getting ready to head into college, and the love is there. The passion is just harder to find, and the moments; getting caught up in the passion, is few and far between. It feels like we have to be apart for a month or two to have it, but when it comes, it is beautiful. Here I was trying to help you, and you made me feel better. I hope things go well for you.
sound like you have a good foundation dear.. to be honest you probably have that passion in your hearts, and that with busy lives there is not always the to show it in other ways... at least you haven't forgotten you can still show it.. *smile*
Have you ever thought about writing your own advice column? Ya know Ann Landers DID kick the bucket.... I am honestly and truly surprised that you don't have someone. I am thinking that the girls in your area are either not attracted to males or blind and moronic.
I give myself sometimes admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it~ Mary Wortley Mantagu I think everyone has that problem. It is easy to tell others what is best for them to do, but when it comes to our very own personal life you find yourself incapable of going through with it. It is amazing how a complete stranger can put things into perspective for you, but those who supposedly know you best lead you farther and farther astray.
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I honestly wouldn't consider myself worthy of a guy who did that. I could see myself sabotaging the relationship before it ever even started in a case like that.
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always nice to know.. *smacks forehead* i really must stop giving a shit, that is how i will be with someone decent for a change...
*grumble* why is it so damn hard to just show someone how you feel.. my god...
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I'm not going to sit here and tell you that a perfect loving relationship is going to just appear because you wouldn't want to hear that. They all have pro's and con's...no relationship is perfect. We all know that.
And yes, someone who does sweet things like that does make me feel less worthy of his love. Not necessarily all girls, but me. I guess it would seem too perfect. I'd think that it was going to come to an end eventually. Like the guy was winning me, then things would change after he knew that he had won.
Just thoughts...
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and i know that relationships are always work, enjoyable work mostly, but still.. they dont just carry themselves. Although i think it is sort of sad that we have convinced ourselves that people only do sweet things to lure us in, after that comfortability sets in... really sad.
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Jennifer
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i am still learning, i am just good at giving the advice i suppose.
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I think everyone has that problem. It is easy to tell others what is best for them to do, but when it comes to our very own personal life you find yourself incapable of going through with it. It is amazing how a complete stranger can put things into perspective for you, but those who supposedly know you best lead you farther and farther astray.
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