(no subject)
I don't know who I am.
I have identifiers. Adjectives. Describers.
But I am still completely lost as to who I am. And where I want to go.
I'm working at a fucking Tom Thumb for christ's sake. I don't make enough money to get a place with Beth. I can barely pay my bills.
I knew who I was in Boone, atleast I felt like I did. I can't think straight here. There's too much going on. Too many people.
Is it self centered of me to sacrifice a couple hundred dollars of my hard earned money to take a few days and fly to Boone to relax? To try and find myself again. To pull away from all the chaos that surrounds me here in Florida.
I just need to get away and sort some things out. And I don't know if she understands that.
I love her. I don't doubt that. I don't have to figure that out. I want to marry her. But I want to know who I am before I do that. I want to love myself half as much as I love her.
I don't want to be a slave to my own conscious failures anymore.
I have identifiers. Adjectives. Describers.
But I am still completely lost as to who I am. And where I want to go.
I'm working at a fucking Tom Thumb for christ's sake. I don't make enough money to get a place with Beth. I can barely pay my bills.
I knew who I was in Boone, atleast I felt like I did. I can't think straight here. There's too much going on. Too many people.
Is it self centered of me to sacrifice a couple hundred dollars of my hard earned money to take a few days and fly to Boone to relax? To try and find myself again. To pull away from all the chaos that surrounds me here in Florida.
I just need to get away and sort some things out. And I don't know if she understands that.
I love her. I don't doubt that. I don't have to figure that out. I want to marry her. But I want to know who I am before I do that. I want to love myself half as much as I love her.
I don't want to be a slave to my own conscious failures anymore.