i'm crushed.
i'm pretending everything is ok.
i'm pretending like i'm over him.
and i'm pretending that i'm not.
but i am.
i'm devistated.
completely devistated.
i don't understand.
i don't understand how someone can be the most amazing person i've ever met.
but then turn out to be someone i don't even know.
because i don't. i don't know him anymore.
everything he's told me had turned out to be a commplete lie.
i don't know if anything i thought i knew about him is true.
he broke me.
i'm not whole anymore.
he cheated on me.
with two other girls.
and his excuse was: "everything was routine. everything was the same after a while"
how was i routine? in what way? we never did the same thing twice.
i don't know what he wanted from me. and i don't know how he could look me in the face and tell me that he loved me, when behind my back he had two other girlfriends.
i loved him. with everything i had.
in every way that a person could be loved.
but i always had doubts.
and i should have listened to them in the first place, and none of this would have happened.
but i wanted to believe him. i wanted to believe that he loved me "with all his heart forever"
i just...
i wish there was a way to forget this ever happened.
but i can't.
and i don't know what to do anymore...