life is full of tough choices...
i battle with myself daily.
i over-analyze things. i make everything good in my life seem bad.
everything going good has to be bad. nothing can be going right for me. i question the motives of everyone. i think "there is no way they can be doing this because they want to. what's the catch? what are they getting out of this?" things like that. i hate it. i hate it more than anything. i want to be happy. i want to feel loved.
i have an amazing boyfriend. and i can't even accept the fact that he loves me for who i am. i can't help but think that he is using me for something, or he's cheating on me and just totally playing me. why? i don't know why. it's consuming my life. if you're reading this, and you don't see how this could be too bad, you have no idea. it's not something i can really explain, but it happens to me, and it literally is making me miserable.
i want to follow my heart. i wanna live for the moment, and not worry about what will come of it. but the question is, am i willing to do that? am i willing to risk getting hurt, and risk losing what i love most? i don't know if i am...i don't want to lose what has made me happier than i've ever been. but i guess there's no way of knowing what will happen no matter what...
i don't know what to do...
i just don't...
i over-analyze things. i make everything good in my life seem bad.
everything going good has to be bad. nothing can be going right for me. i question the motives of everyone. i think "there is no way they can be doing this because they want to. what's the catch? what are they getting out of this?" things like that. i hate it. i hate it more than anything. i want to be happy. i want to feel loved.
i have an amazing boyfriend. and i can't even accept the fact that he loves me for who i am. i can't help but think that he is using me for something, or he's cheating on me and just totally playing me. why? i don't know why. it's consuming my life. if you're reading this, and you don't see how this could be too bad, you have no idea. it's not something i can really explain, but it happens to me, and it literally is making me miserable.
i want to follow my heart. i wanna live for the moment, and not worry about what will come of it. but the question is, am i willing to do that? am i willing to risk getting hurt, and risk losing what i love most? i don't know if i am...i don't want to lose what has made me happier than i've ever been. but i guess there's no way of knowing what will happen no matter what...
i don't know what to do...
i just don't...