CAN YU SEE MY SOUL IN THERE?....
Today I have been rather bored & A bit meh due to certain reasons I don't really wish to go in to... well not until I know the full extent of it. Fear not though, I'm sure I'll let yu all in on it sooner rather than later. I'm trying not to let it ruin my good mood, Keeping my chin up at the mo :)
I randomly decided to play with the macro on my digi cam this afternoon as I was curious about what my eyes looked like close up lol. They look rather neat ^_^ they’ve got all these awesome patterns & these bands of amber/greens running through them... see:
I have pretty windows *smiles*
Other than that I've been packing my stuff for a shoot I'm doing with
threnodynvelvet tomorrow... This should be really fun, I've been looking forward to working with her for weeks! I think I look a bit rough at present (probably due to the insane amount of stress & worry I've got going on at the moment) So I'm hoping I look ok for the pics... I'm sure they'll look fab though :P We're going to shoot some retro stuff, medical stuff & also some high fashion style shots. It will rock!
Hmmm I really do need to get round to sorting out my bloody myspace page -__- I'm actually starting to feel guilty for having not replied to so much mail or accept the 100's of friend requests I've got. grrr I think there's a problem when yu start to feel guilt over a website! ha ha.
It's all fun & games really... I've got another twat with a fake pro on there pretending to be me http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=83124928 (Think it's the same person who had a fake one of me on there last year!) Some people really do have WAY too much time on their hands. Pathetic.
I also had some random girl message me, after reading about my contraceptive implant giving me excess body/facial hair on my L.J (happy to say that's improving now the bloody thing's removed) . She said something along the lines of:
'Oh my god! I can't believe you can just go ahead and admit to people that you have excess body and facial hair! You're mad! I would be so ashamed if I had that problem 0_0 Don't you ever worry that people who have read about this from your journals will take the piss and tell everyone?'
...Bless them. I had to laugh. The bottom line is: I DO NOT CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE CHOOSE TO THINK ABOUT ME
If people want to take the piss then whatever... it doesn't concern me. I'm not ashamed of any of my flaws. Hell, I'm far from perfect & I'm not going to swan around pretending that I am some goddess without any faults. I am comfortable in my skin. Yes Obviously I would rather not have the excess hair, But at the same time I'm not ashamed of it & I'm not going to pretend that I haven't got the issue. I'm more than happy to admit all of my bodily imperfections because the shallow bullshit really doesn't concern me. Other peoples ideals & vanity issues are utterly inconsequential to me.... I am above that & For all the people that will take the piss & whisper behind me back; Please go ahead, Be my guest... I'm happy to be your source of bitchyness if it will make yu feel O so better about yourselves & feed your egos.
& While we're at it, have a little more ammunition... go on take your full.. We can’t have starving egos can we?
The bee sting breasts that hang from my chest,
The rib bones that jut out like keys on an xylophone,
The protruding hips & collar bones.
The eyebrows that grow to meet in the middle if I don't pluck them out religiously,
The hairs that I shave off my big toes, on each side x 3
The eczema in the crooks of my arms, neck & upper back,
The dark under my eyes from the sleep that I lack,
The white lines on the top of my thigh that criss cross,
The mottled skin tones that look like marble table tops,
The veins in the backs of my knees like blue serpents sleeping & coiled up,
The indents of a few dimples on my big butt, (A.K.A cellulite)
The excess body hair on my legs, arms, stomach, face... well just about everywhere
& The fact that none of this vanity matters & That I REALLY don’t care.
Now do yu see why I am beautiful?...
I want anyone who’s reading this to reply with this little exercise. Come on don’t be afraid to admit your faults to yourself & anyone else. They are just as much yu as the good parts. Yu will also find that once yu are happy to admit them instead of trying to disguise them from others (& sometimes yourself) They really won’t bother yu half as much. Go on try it, I promise it will make yu feel better.
xDDx