When my last shot was coming up, I found myself in the deepest depression spiral I've had in 3 years, maybe more. I've had suicidal thoughts on and off since I was 12, but this was the first time it felt..real. Like not just a cry for help over teenage angst. I was actually a little afraid of myself. I booked appointments, for the shot and for the depression, but ended up missing both just because I was such a mess.
When I did finally get my T shot, within the space of 2 days I was almost entirely normal again. I saw the doc and he's sending me for a test of my T levels sometime next week, and for therapy.
So thats why I mentioned my T cycle.. if Doc is right, I should be getting more depressed soon if my shots are too far apart. So I'm a little bit paranoid and watching my moods. But in this one case, at least, I think I just went on an Angsty-Loki fanfic binge.
Ironically, when I'm not at the horrifying mercy of my wildly flailing hormones, I really like and accept my current gender situation. Genderqueer definetly feels like Home. :)
Hehehe... I shall have to link you to all the gloriousness, though it sounds like you found the stuff by Katsu, with the waffle iron and all. XD Epic shit right there, huh?
The epic angsty Loki one is here: http://sarkywoman.livejournal.com/254114.html#cutid1 It's a beast of a thing, like a full backstory to how he is who he is, but I warn you it's Thor/Loki but it's more than worth reading.
And this one here is a wonderful example of bizarre things fandom can conjure that leave you begging for more of what you never knew you wanted. XD Gives me all sorts of Trans Feels. (Overly-vulnerable-Loki, being FTM-bodied, for lack of a better description.) http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/5102.html?thread=5116142#t5116142
Work is currently insane, thanks to Mister Sunshine, so I don't have an awful lot of free time until the wee hours, but I do hope we can catch up soon.
Steve/Loki? Seriously? LOL I know I usually go for opposites-attract type pairings, but thats a little much for me.
I'm shipping Loki/Tony a lot, because they're just so much fun together. Two snarky, egotistical, gorgeous geniuses with daddy issues - they're perfect for eachother. XD
As someone who used to laugh and roll my eyes at mpreg fics, I am slightly ashamed to find that I looooove pregnant Loki stories. He's such a kickass Mum/Dad/Whatever in the mythology, it's just so intriguing to see fandom's own take on it. Once you've sifted through the hilarious badfic, that is.
Well there hasn't really been anything serious, I've read lots of crack, and something very disturbing with rape and torture that is giving me creepy nightmares but I'm still waiting feverishly for updates regardless because I'm apparently fucked up.
Oh bloody hell, I clicked on that link, saw how long it was, and decided to leave it until later..... then found myself reading anyway. I'm only a few paragraphs in but already I'm so enthralled by this piece, and I'm sure it's only going to upset me but, well, fuck logic.
I love fics that deal with Thor and Loki as brothers, and the complex nature of that relationship.... turning them into a sexual relationship just feels cheap, like the author doesn't understand how to write intense emotions without it boiling down to sex. Plus incest squicks me. I know they're not really ~brothers~ but still. Just seems like that ship is where a lot of the talented authors are sailing, so I go along with it for the good stories.
LOL today was supposed to be my day off but I got called in and had to work later than they'd said and now I have to stay up all night sewing up the bloody horse mascot costume for tomorrow and argh argh argh. Next day off isn't until Wednesday but I'll let you know if anything changes.
See, I've read up to the point you mentioned, with the sexual cop-out instead of actually resolving the argument, and this is exactly what I was refering to. Instead of actually dealing with the emotions and issues, it turns into an awkward dose of fandom's Magical Healing Cock. I loved the fic up until that point. Absolutely adored it. Then the stupid sex ruined it. Bah.
It seems to be a thing with plagues all incest-based 'ships. Sure, most people are doing it for kink, but I can't help worrying that some people who ship incestual pairings just can't comprehend having a loving bond with someone without sex happening.
When my last shot was coming up, I found myself in the deepest depression spiral I've had in 3 years, maybe more. I've had suicidal thoughts on and off since I was 12, but this was the first time it felt..real. Like not just a cry for help over teenage angst. I was actually a little afraid of myself.
I booked appointments, for the shot and for the depression, but ended up missing both just because I was such a mess.
When I did finally get my T shot, within the space of 2 days I was almost entirely normal again. I saw the doc and he's sending me for a test of my T levels sometime next week, and for therapy.
So thats why I mentioned my T cycle.. if Doc is right, I should be getting more depressed soon if my shots are too far apart. So I'm a little bit paranoid and watching my moods.
But in this one case, at least, I think I just went on an Angsty-Loki fanfic binge.
Ironically, when I'm not at the horrifying mercy of my wildly flailing hormones, I really like and accept my current gender situation. Genderqueer definetly feels like Home. :)
How are things with you, lately?
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The epic angsty Loki one is here: http://sarkywoman.livejournal.com/254114.html#cutid1
It's a beast of a thing, like a full backstory to how he is who he is, but I warn you it's Thor/Loki but it's more than worth reading.
And this one here is a wonderful example of bizarre things fandom can conjure that leave you begging for more of what you never knew you wanted. XD Gives me all sorts of Trans Feels. (Overly-vulnerable-Loki, being FTM-bodied, for lack of a better description.)
http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/5102.html?thread=5116142#t5116142
Work is currently insane, thanks to Mister Sunshine, so I don't have an awful lot of free time until the wee hours, but I do hope we can catch up soon.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
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I'm shipping Loki/Tony a lot, because they're just so much fun together. Two snarky, egotistical, gorgeous geniuses with daddy issues - they're perfect for eachother. XD
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I was wondering if you'd write for this fandom, as I liked the stuff I read from you before.
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He's such a kickass Mum/Dad/Whatever in the mythology, it's just so intriguing to see fandom's own take on it. Once you've sifted through the hilarious badfic, that is.
Let me know when any of it is ready to read. :)
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Ok so this isn't strictly about the pregnancy itself, but have something glorious and funny: http://archiveofourown.org/works/387839?view_adult=true
And have some fucked up disturbing broken!Loki while we're at it, because I don't want to suffer alone. http://archiveofourown.org/works/419021/chapters/697105
In fact, here... I just pulled up everything that had tags for both Loki and mpreg, I'm getting too much of a headache to sort the gold nuggets from the bullshit, but I'm sure you'll find something. http://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&selected_tags[tags][]=514&selected_tags[tags][]=147933&selected_tags[tags][]=1833&language_id=&boolean_type=and&commit=Filter+Works&tag_id=Mpreg
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I love fics that deal with Thor and Loki as brothers, and the complex nature of that relationship.... turning them into a sexual relationship just feels cheap, like the author doesn't understand how to write intense emotions without it boiling down to sex. Plus incest squicks me. I know they're not really ~brothers~ but still.
Just seems like that ship is where a lot of the talented authors are sailing, so I go along with it for the good stories.
LOL today was supposed to be my day off but I got called in and had to work later than they'd said and now I have to stay up all night sewing up the bloody horse mascot costume for tomorrow and argh argh argh.
Next day off isn't until Wednesday but I'll let you know if anything changes.
Does you has pics of such a hairdo?
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I loved the fic up until that point. Absolutely adored it. Then the stupid sex ruined it. Bah.
It seems to be a thing with plagues all incest-based 'ships. Sure, most people are doing it for kink, but I can't help worrying that some people who ship incestual pairings just can't comprehend having a loving bond with someone without sex happening.
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(The comment has been removed)
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