1049: What Is It Good For?
Away at War/Battle MemeWe all know war can be a hard time for everyone but those left behind? It can be torture. Hoping you get a letter or a call, staying glued to the television and cringing at those news stories. Guess what happens to you now? Your loved one has gone off to fight a war (battle, fight, in that ilk of things) and some time has
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'Missing in action' were three words that had tipped her world upside down. 'Presumed dead' were two that had nearly ended it. Even when he was found she couldn't believe. Almost didn't want to believe because then she'd have to admit to failing. She had looked for him for months on end, nearly to the point of exhaustion before Fury yanked her out of her obsessive state.
Now she hovered outside the ICU as she watched the doctors and nurses work around Bruce before finally she got the courage to go in when he was left alone. The other team members allowed her the space. Allowed her the time and she bit down on her lip as she looked over Bruce before sliding her hand into his.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. He was supposed to heal. The other guy was supposed to protect him and bring him back to her. "Bruce... Bruce, I'm here. It's okay."
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"Hi." he croaked quietly, squeezing her hand gently. "What took you so long?"
Even that seemed to exhaust him, though, and he closed his eye again, breathing shakily. She'd been the one face he had wanted to see the most while he was gone - the one he wanted to swoop in and save him. He knew that was too much to have asked of her, though. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to survive, himself. He was just glad to see her.
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She really did want to be the white knight. She wanted to be his saviour, but everything had worked against her. She got to her feet briefly to press a kiss to his forehead and gave a shake of her head.
But the apology was bitten back because it wouldn't do either of them any good. She just wanted him to get better. She needed him to get better. "Next time I'm picking the restaurant."
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"I was--" He coughed, suddenly, and seemed like he couldn't stop, wracked with pain. It went on for a moment before he got his breath back. "I wasn't ever very good at picking restaurants."
He smiled crookedly at her, trying to open both eyes, to look more reassuring. His left eye is almost damaged too badly to see, though, and he closes it again. He doesn't begrudge her for not finding him, he never could. He's glad it happened to him instead of her. "I'm sorry, Natasha."
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She shifted a hand to carefully touch his cheek and then his hair. There had to be a way. He had to be able to get through this. Didn't they understand that she couldn't be without him?
"I'm definitely in charge of picking the restaurants. You can pick the movies." She had stilled as he coughed, eyebrows pulling together with obvious concern that she could no longer hide.
And that smile and Natasha exhaled slowly before she returned it with a crooked smile of her own. God, she really did love his smile. "Don't apologise. You know I hate when you do that. I'd rather you just got better so we can get to the make-up sex. You're in months of debt, you know."
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He knows that it's not good. he's not entirely sure what they did to him while he was gone - he's missing bits and pieces, the other guy's memories and his both a blur, but he knows he won't just get better soon. Funnily enough, he wishes he could. It's been a long time since Bruce wanted to survive.
"I'll do my best, Natasha." He meant it. He just didn't know if it would be enough.
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She pulled away to give him some space, her hand staying tucked around his as she tried not to feel helpless just sitting there. She was good in a fight. She was good with the enemies she could see. Practical problems. Sitting and waiting was not her strong suit. She'd never had to pray before, but she was tempted to start now.
"I know," she murmured quietly. "I didn't wait this long just to watch you slip away."
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"I love you, you know." He managed, all of the talking and activity starting to wear him out. "There's-" He took a breath, focusing on her face. "I'm supposed to go into surgery tomorrow."
He doesn't think he'll have to tell her, thinks she's seen enough injury and death and pain on her own to know. It doesn't look good. He might not make it. It's ridiculously dangerous for the doctors to try, with his toxic blood and his volatile state and he doesn't know if the Hulk could make an appearance, but nobody wants to find out.
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Her tongue flicked out to dampen her lips and she shifted forward in her seat once more as her grip tightened on his hand. He never understood why she loved him, but it was because he couldn't see him the way she did. Even that first moment in India she had felt something stir. It had been a slow burn, but it was deeper than anything she'd ever felt for someone.
Didn't make it any less easier to say those words back. Part of her was always going to be wary about admitting it. Like it jinxed things. But this was Bruce, and he needed to know. "I love you too, which is why you have to find a way to come out the other side. Bruce--"
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"Whatever happens," He licked his lips, grimacing when he hit the split in his bottom lip. "It'll all be fine. Okay?"
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She changed her grip on his hand and leaned forward so that she could rest her head on his shoulder. "I should have been able to find you."
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"You know why." He rested back on the pillows, worn out. "It's never fair for us." It never had been. Why would this be any different? "What we had was good, though."
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She brought the chair closer and kissed the corner of his mouth where there wasn't a cut. "Rest, Bruce. I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere."
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