That...that's probably true [Keith agreed immediately, but he had the presence of mind to recognize that Yuri was joking and he chuckled. Even though he knew what they were about to discuss was serious he didn't want to make it a stressful topic, he only wanted his partner to understand.]
You're right! Truer words have never been spoken...and I love you too much to keep anything from you [it was becoming easier for him to say the word love as opposed to earlier on in the relationship where Keith nearly had an aneurism trying] and if I don't say anything it would be selfish...since you deserve to have a chance to rise to the occasion.
[That sigh stirred something more in Keith than a desire for a serious conversation once he realized how long it had been since he'd last taken care of Yuri, and himself for that matter] I'm glad...and I have plenty vacation time saved up [the NEXT's fingers slid from Yuri's hair to his cheek guiding him into a kiss, gentle as usual, but with an underlying hint of impatience] I've missed you, Yuri.
[As John had figured out he wasn't going anywhere for another little while he curled up with a soft snort. This left Keith with another free arm and he wrapped it around Yuri] I do my best apologizing in the bedroom you know [a half smiled formed on his lips] but only if you want to.
[He nodded at Keith's declaration of love.] I feel the same. [He was habitually reserved, and it was difficult for him to be as warm and effusive as Keith could be. At times, he still found it disconcerting, these unstinting displays of affection, though he was beginning to grow used to them.] You've made me quite curious. [It wasn't that he felt no misgivings about whatever Keith had been keeping from him, but he doubted Keith would have anything too upsetting to say. That wasn't the kind of thing one expected from him.] Whatever it is, I'll do my best not to disappoint you.
[Then Keith changed the subject with a kiss and an embrace, and Yuri didn't object to this in the least, smiling again.] I'm not adverse, but are you planning on talking first, or apologizing?
Nah. You couldn’t disappoint me, Yuri…it’s important information, so what you decide to do with it is up to you.
[It took some deliberating on Keith’s part before he could answer that question. On the one hand he thought it might be taking advantage if he took him in the bedroom and started ‘apologizing’ before breaking the news. What if it turned out that Yuri did get angry, wasn’t that the whole point of makeup…ah…
…but…in the same vein would that be his last chance to hold Yuri?
And what if he didn’t get angry at all, of course Keith would explain it to his lover thoroughly so that there would be no misunderstanding…and there was no point in being pessimistic about it until it was done…]
Alright! [He was finished thinking about it, thinking about it only made it more confusing and he had to be decisive in this if nothing else. Keeping his arms wrapped around his partner, Keith led Yuri back to the bed, but he released him reluctantly soon after so that he could sit on the edge of the mattress. Sitting was good right now, better than standing since he didn’t think his legs would support him, powerful as they were.] So…to begin…you know about Hero TV right…I mean I don’t know anyone who doesn’t, but have you watched it?
[He allowed himself to be led to the bed, then sat beside Keith calmly, though this was becoming a little odd.] I'm pleased you've decided to share this important information.
[The question gave him pause.] Yes, I'm more than a little familiar with it, though I don't watch it regularly. [His tone was carefully neutral. Accustomed to hiding his true feelings, he betrayed no sign of the various emotions the mention of Hero TV stirred in him.] I do have some connection with it, in a purely legal capacity. As you can imagine, a program that revolves around capturing criminals requires the close cooperation of the Administration of Justice. [Keith didn't always pay attention to all aspects of his work, but that was fine, as Yuri neither needed nor wanted someone who would keep close tabs on him.]
[It didn’t help that Keith was a little bit anxious about telling anyone outside of the sphere of Hero TV about his identity, especially a loved one. Of course the fact that Yuri seemed neutral and calm about the forthcoming news imbued him with some confidence. And of course the fact that his partner knew about the show and understood the concept behind it having some legal connection would make it easier] Well…first I want you to know that I wanted to protect you, from the bottom of my heart…my intentions were pure though it doesn’t really justify keeping it from you…[bargaining for time, he couldn’t keep doing it so he turned his eyes earnestly on his mate, almost trying to will him to understand what he was about to say]…Sky High…I’m Sky High…
[At first, he couldn't speak. He must have been blinded by sentiment, because it was so obvious now, in hindsight: Keith's absences, their timing. Perhaps he hadn't wanted to believe it. He'd already known some of the Heroes' identities-- obviously, everyone knew Mr. Brooks, and it would have been hard to miss Mr. Kaburagi, whose wanton destruction of property couldn't be ignored. But Sky High--he hadn't considered him. Not like that. Now he knows.
It was the ultimate absurdity, the ultimate joke: somehow, he'd ended up married to a Hero.] Sky High.
[As the truth sank in, panic tightened his chest. What was he supposed to do now? He forced his tensing muscles to relax. He had to remain calm and continue to lie. There was nothing else he could do. He'd never attack Keith, and he had to be careful not to give himself away. It wasn't as if he could reply with I'm Lunatic. That wouldn't go over well, to say the least. He had unwittingly put himself in a very vulnerable position.] Yes, I see. This is certainly a surprise. I do wish you'd told me earlier, but of course, it's not hard to understand why you'd be hesitant. [He paused to force a smile.] I'm glad you're telling me now. I'm honored that you trust me so much.
[It’s fortunate that Keith was too oblivious at times to read his partner’s body and his forced smile, only too happy to accept his grace and the fact that he wasn’t going to punish the Hero by making him sleep on the couch or worse. It had gone better than expected which was both a relief and exciting in a way. Sharing his secret with his lover meant that there was at least one person in the world he could now share his troubles with, not dump, but merely talk to him about…he had no intention of getting Yuri entangled in something so dangerous.
Little did he know that the other man could handle himself, little did he know he was Lunatic…actually he didn’t know a whole lot about his partner’s past and he didn’t ask either. If he wanted to talk then Keith would listen, otherwise he loved him dearly just like this and at the moment it was so overwhelming that he couldn’t hold back in his affections. He pounced, both arms wrapping around Yuri as their bodies flopped back against the bed] I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but…I have to admit it’s a relief that you’re so understanding. I was afraid…it’s a little bit strange coming from me, but even I get a little scared sometimes…I should have had some more faith…[but the smile that had formed on Sky High’s lips didn’t falter in the slightest]…I want to kiss you Yuri…
[Yuri struggled to maintain control, his loathing of Heroes warring with his much fonder feelings for Keith as a person. He'd never have married him if he didn't care for him; it was very difficult for him to allow people to get close to him. Now he had done so, and the person in question turned out to be a Hero.
There was no need to panic, he told himself. Keith suspected nothing. Perhaps he could find some way to use this situation to his advantage. Not that he wished to take advantage of Keith, but it was an opportunity. He'd used his position with the Justice Administration in the same way. He wasn't sure how to utilize his new knowledge, but he might be able to think of something.]
Of course I understand. You shouldn't be afraid. Not when it comes to me. [He put up a hand to ward off Keith and his kisses, following the gesture with another touch, stroking his cheek. He still desired Keith, but this was a dizzying revelation. He needed a minute to compose himself completely. He smiled another false smile.]
Keith, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I do have some concerns. We should talk about this. For a start, it's a very dangerous job. Even if you are a NEXT, you can be injured. [That wasn't even his greatest concern. He'd seen firsthand how the system could pressure and mistreat its Heroes. He was sure that Keith, with his trusting nature, was a candidate for being taken advantage of. He couldn't allow that.] I don't want anything to happen to you.
,small>[It was probably a good thing that Yuri put his hand up to pause him, otherwise Keith might have been more than tempted to ply him with kisses, but the reality was that they were still having a serious conversation. Sometimes his enthusiasm got the better of him, but on this particular occasion he had the presence of mind to reign it in and hear his partner and his concerns out.
It took a little bit of time for what Yuri was saying to sink in, not that he was too dense to get it, but he had to consider the possibility that his line of work was dangerous and if something happened to him how would he be able to take care of his lover.]
I can understand that…I’ve thought about it a little bit and…well the only conclusion I could come to is that this body isn’t just mine anymore, it’s also yours. So I should protect myself at all costs…and then I thought…well…what if something really did happen to me? But how could I possibly leave you alone or let someone else take advantage of my place…leaving my beautiful Yuri…[he leaned back on his arm, admiring his partner hoping to be able to reassure him]…you want me to stop, babe?
[Hero he might be, but he was still the same Keith. Yuri found it hard to refute his logic at times, as it wasn't necessarily--logical. Not that he was unintelligent, but he had a different way of looking at the world sometimes.]
I know that you wouldn't intend to be injured. Just because you think you couldn't possibly be, and you don't want to leave me--that doesn't mean you won't be, and it's something we have to consider. I hope you will be as careful as possible and won't endanger yourself unnecessarily. [Keith's enduring optimism could be maddening as often as it was endearing. Yuri was far more of a pessimist. If something did happen to Keith, he would be furious. He would blame Hero TV for that.] You mean a lot to me, and I'm willing to accept the risk. [He'd just have to double check all his precautions to ensure that Keith didn't discover the truth about him.] I'm sure your job is important to you, and I know it's important to others.
I only ask you one thing. Don't lie to me again, not even by omission. I want you to be completely honest with me about everything you do.
[Keith would be the first to admit that he could be a bit of an airhead from time to time, but at the same he could be oddly perceptive when he wanted to be. In any case he had been told a number of times that his goofiness was part of his charm.]
Well...I guess it's true that I could be injured...I'm still human...but I'm also a NEXT and I can't help thinking...what better way to put my abilities to use...doing something good and meaningful with my talent [Keith flopped back onto the mattress beside Yuri, his optimism really was impossible, but he did take his partner's feelings into consideration] Though sometimes I think there could be a different way...Hero TV is nice, and I don't mind doing the underwear ads...but I still have trouble wrapping my head around Heroes as some kind of product. Most of us do it because we want to...
And, I wouldn't want to make you sad...so I promise, that was the only thing that I've kept from you and it's the only thing I will keep from you.
People with power should use it to do good, to combat wickedness. The strong should protect the innocent. [That's what he does. He envies Keith's ability to speak so openly--now--about what he does. He can't imagine that Keith would want to stay with him if he told him the truth. He would worry about having to combat Sky High, but he believes he can be sure to avoid him, now that he knows. He can see he won't be able to dissuade Keith, certainly not here and now.] That's an admirable impulse, even though I'll be concerned for your safety.
[Yuri doesn't agree at all with the statement "Hero TV is nice", but he manages not to twitch in irritation at the words. It isn't Keith's fault. He can't take it out on him. It wouldn't be right. The entire matter frustrates him, but his smile is genuine when Keith continues.] I couldn't agree more. Heroism shouldn't be commodified. It's-- [He was about to say "sickening, disgusting", but he stops himself.] --problematic. It should be about saving people, not making money or selling merchandise.
Yes, you must always tell me everything, from now on. I need you to. [It was unfair, perhaps, considering his own lies, but it was difficult for him to trust people. He relied on Keith's honesty and kindness.]
I really like your conviction...I'm really oblivious when it comes to relationships, but I think it was the first thing I found attractive about you. Or...admirable...maybe like a hero worship kind of thing which is kind of...[to be honest Keith didn't care too much for the almost slavish love some people had for the Heroes, it was nice to be admired, but he didn't feel like he deserved to be worshiped...but really, after meeting Yuri he could understand it...only because his personal hero had a face he could show others]...but I can only promise not to worry you.
You and I think a lot alike sometimes, I'm probably not as clever as you are, but I think it's good to have similar values [especially since he wanted everything to be good between him and his new partner, the more similarities he could see with the two of them, the more relaxed he felt]
That's my only secret...I promise, and outside of the other Heroes and those who work closely with them you're the only one who knows who I am. I want to keep you safe [it was still difficult not to feel bad about this lie even if his intentions had been the very best] I'm sorry, baby.
[Yuri lowers his eyes.] No, I don't care for hero worship. It never comes to anything good. Please don't think of me that way. Partners should be equals.
We both care deeply about justice. That is important to me. [Though now he knows how different the way they care is. He can't stop himself from picturing Sky High in his costume, his helmet, knowing that that's Keith--it's unsettling. They're enemies.]
I believe you. [It was hard to doubt Keith. He had clearly concealed the truth because that was the proper procedure, what he'd been told to do as a Hero. Unlike him. Sometimes he felt like this side of his life was nothing but a lie, that he was more Lunatic than Yuri. Keith had lessened that feeling somewhat, but now-- Keith was part of that other world, too. He'd only wanted something normal. That was what Keith had seemed: uncomplicated, straightforward. He should leave him now, but he'd found out too late. He wanted Keith, wanted to stay with him, as mad as that was.] I don't like to be mislead--you should at least have told me before we were married--and I'm not happy about that, but there's no need to apologize. You were doing what you thought was right. [As he always did.] You know you can trust me to keep your secret.
[Keith reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair out of his partner's eyes] Then can I admire you at least...it's not the same as worship, but I respect what you do.
[Though it's not long before Keith goes from looking almost blissfully at Yuri to looking almost crestfallen as his thoughts started to jump from one conclusion to the next.] A...ah you're right...I took away some of your choices. I guess if you had known that I probably wouldn't have been your first pick since it is dangerous...no one wants to think about losing someone they love. If you ever wanted to back out for any reason I'd get it [that didn't mean the very thought of it wasn't a sad one which he couldn't help once his face reflected it] Ah...I know, I trust you.
You can admire me. [But you wouldn't, if you knew, he adds silently. Keeping his identity from Keith as simply his partner had been one thing, but keeping it from a Hero added a new dimension to his lie.] You're right, it isn't the same as worship. [He doesn't say he respects what Keith does, but he hopes Keith doesn't notice the omission as he moves smoothly on.]
It was unfair. [He knows how much more unfair he's being, and his conscience stings. He can't be that cruel. He softens his words and his expression.] But that is why, because I don't want to lose you. [These words are true. He will lose him, in one way or another. He can see that now. He shouldn't have allowed himself to grow close to anyone. It had been a mistake.] I won't back out now, Keith. I've committed myself. Once I've made a decision, I don't change my mind, not lightly. You're the one I've chosen, no matter what happens. [The problem is, he has to deal with two contradictory choices. He sighs. This won't be easy. The wiser course of action would be to leave Keith now. Why did he have to grow attached? At one point, it had seemed like a good idea to have a significant other, further masking the truth.]
You're right! Truer words have never been spoken...and I love you too much to keep anything from you [it was becoming easier for him to say the word love as opposed to earlier on in the relationship where Keith nearly had an aneurism trying] and if I don't say anything it would be selfish...since you deserve to have a chance to rise to the occasion.
[That sigh stirred something more in Keith than a desire for a serious conversation once he realized how long it had been since he'd last taken care of Yuri, and himself for that matter] I'm glad...and I have plenty vacation time saved up [the NEXT's fingers slid from Yuri's hair to his cheek guiding him into a kiss, gentle as usual, but with an underlying hint of impatience] I've missed you, Yuri.
[As John had figured out he wasn't going anywhere for another little while he curled up with a soft snort. This left Keith with another free arm and he wrapped it around Yuri] I do my best apologizing in the bedroom you know [a half smiled formed on his lips] but only if you want to.
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[He nodded at Keith's declaration of love.] I feel the same. [He was habitually reserved, and it was difficult for him to be as warm and effusive as Keith could be. At times, he still found it disconcerting, these unstinting displays of affection, though he was beginning to grow used to them.] You've made me quite curious. [It wasn't that he felt no misgivings about whatever Keith had been keeping from him, but he doubted Keith would have anything too upsetting to say. That wasn't the kind of thing one expected from him.] Whatever it is, I'll do my best not to disappoint you.
[Then Keith changed the subject with a kiss and an embrace, and Yuri didn't object to this in the least, smiling again.] I'm not adverse, but are you planning on talking first, or apologizing?
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[It took some deliberating on Keith’s part before he could answer that question. On the one hand he thought it might be taking advantage if he took him in the bedroom and started ‘apologizing’ before breaking the news. What if it turned out that Yuri did get angry, wasn’t that the whole point of makeup…ah…
…but…in the same vein would that be his last chance to hold Yuri?
And what if he didn’t get angry at all, of course Keith would explain it to his lover thoroughly so that there would be no misunderstanding…and there was no point in being pessimistic about it until it was done…]
Alright! [He was finished thinking about it, thinking about it only made it more confusing and he had to be decisive in this if nothing else. Keeping his arms wrapped around his partner, Keith led Yuri back to the bed, but he released him reluctantly soon after so that he could sit on the edge of the mattress. Sitting was good right now, better than standing since he didn’t think his legs would support him, powerful as they were.] So…to begin…you know about Hero TV right…I mean I don’t know anyone who doesn’t, but have you watched it?
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[The question gave him pause.] Yes, I'm more than a little familiar with it, though I don't watch it regularly. [His tone was carefully neutral. Accustomed to hiding his true feelings, he betrayed no sign of the various emotions the mention of Hero TV stirred in him.] I do have some connection with it, in a purely legal capacity. As you can imagine, a program that revolves around capturing criminals requires the close cooperation of the Administration of Justice. [Keith didn't always pay attention to all aspects of his work, but that was fine, as Yuri neither needed nor wanted someone who would keep close tabs on him.]
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It was the ultimate absurdity, the ultimate joke: somehow, he'd ended up married to a Hero.] Sky High.
[As the truth sank in, panic tightened his chest. What was he supposed to do now? He forced his tensing muscles to relax. He had to remain calm and continue to lie. There was nothing else he could do. He'd never attack Keith, and he had to be careful not to give himself away. It wasn't as if he could reply with I'm Lunatic. That wouldn't go over well, to say the least. He had unwittingly put himself in a very vulnerable position.] Yes, I see. This is certainly a surprise. I do wish you'd told me earlier, but of course, it's not hard to understand why you'd be hesitant. [He paused to force a smile.] I'm glad you're telling me now. I'm honored that you trust me so much.
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Little did he know that the other man could handle himself, little did he know he was Lunatic…actually he didn’t know a whole lot about his partner’s past and he didn’t ask either. If he wanted to talk then Keith would listen, otherwise he loved him dearly just like this and at the moment it was so overwhelming that he couldn’t hold back in his affections. He pounced, both arms wrapping around Yuri as their bodies flopped back against the bed] I’m sorry for not telling you sooner, but…I have to admit it’s a relief that you’re so understanding. I was afraid…it’s a little bit strange coming from me, but even I get a little scared sometimes…I should have had some more faith…[but the smile that had formed on Sky High’s lips didn’t falter in the slightest]…I want to kiss you Yuri…
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There was no need to panic, he told himself. Keith suspected nothing. Perhaps he could find some way to use this situation to his advantage. Not that he wished to take advantage of Keith, but it was an opportunity. He'd used his position with the Justice Administration in the same way. He wasn't sure how to utilize his new knowledge, but he might be able to think of something.]
Of course I understand. You shouldn't be afraid. Not when it comes to me. [He put up a hand to ward off Keith and his kisses, following the gesture with another touch, stroking his cheek. He still desired Keith, but this was a dizzying revelation. He needed a minute to compose himself completely. He smiled another false smile.]
Keith, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I do have some concerns. We should talk about this. For a start, it's a very dangerous job. Even if you are a NEXT, you can be injured. [That wasn't even his greatest concern. He'd seen firsthand how the system could pressure and mistreat its Heroes. He was sure that Keith, with his trusting nature, was a candidate for being taken advantage of. He couldn't allow that.] I don't want anything to happen to you.
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It took a little bit of time for what Yuri was saying to sink in, not that he was too dense to get it, but he had to consider the possibility that his line of work was dangerous and if something happened to him how would he be able to take care of his lover.]
I can understand that…I’ve thought about it a little bit and…well the only conclusion I could come to is that this body isn’t just mine anymore, it’s also yours. So I should protect myself at all costs…and then I thought…well…what if something really did happen to me? But how could I possibly leave you alone or let someone else take advantage of my place…leaving my beautiful Yuri…[he leaned back on his arm, admiring his partner hoping to be able to reassure him]…you want me to stop, babe?
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I know that you wouldn't intend to be injured. Just because you think you couldn't possibly be, and you don't want to leave me--that doesn't mean you won't be, and it's something we have to consider. I hope you will be as careful as possible and won't endanger yourself unnecessarily. [Keith's enduring optimism could be maddening as often as it was endearing. Yuri was far more of a pessimist. If something did happen to Keith, he would be furious. He would blame Hero TV for that.] You mean a lot to me, and I'm willing to accept the risk. [He'd just have to double check all his precautions to ensure that Keith didn't discover the truth about him.] I'm sure your job is important to you, and I know it's important to others.
I only ask you one thing. Don't lie to me again, not even by omission. I want you to be completely honest with me about everything you do.
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Well...I guess it's true that I could be injured...I'm still human...but I'm also a NEXT and I can't help thinking...what better way to put my abilities to use...doing something good and meaningful with my talent [Keith flopped back onto the mattress beside Yuri, his optimism really was impossible, but he did take his partner's feelings into consideration] Though sometimes I think there could be a different way...Hero TV is nice, and I don't mind doing the underwear ads...but I still have trouble wrapping my head around Heroes as some kind of product. Most of us do it because we want to...
And, I wouldn't want to make you sad...so I promise, that was the only thing that I've kept from you and it's the only thing I will keep from you.
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[Yuri doesn't agree at all with the statement "Hero TV is nice", but he manages not to twitch in irritation at the words. It isn't Keith's fault. He can't take it out on him. It wouldn't be right. The entire matter frustrates him, but his smile is genuine when Keith continues.] I couldn't agree more. Heroism shouldn't be commodified. It's-- [He was about to say "sickening, disgusting", but he stops himself.] --problematic. It should be about saving people, not making money or selling merchandise.
Yes, you must always tell me everything, from now on. I need you to. [It was unfair, perhaps, considering his own lies, but it was difficult for him to trust people. He relied on Keith's honesty and kindness.]
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You and I think a lot alike sometimes, I'm probably not as clever as you are, but I think it's good to have similar values [especially since he wanted everything to be good between him and his new partner, the more similarities he could see with the two of them, the more relaxed he felt]
That's my only secret...I promise, and outside of the other Heroes and those who work closely with them you're the only one who knows who I am. I want to keep you safe [it was still difficult not to feel bad about this lie even if his intentions had been the very best] I'm sorry, baby.
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We both care deeply about justice. That is important to me. [Though now he knows how different the way they care is. He can't stop himself from picturing Sky High in his costume, his helmet, knowing that that's Keith--it's unsettling. They're enemies.]
I believe you. [It was hard to doubt Keith. He had clearly concealed the truth because that was the proper procedure, what he'd been told to do as a Hero. Unlike him. Sometimes he felt like this side of his life was nothing but a lie, that he was more Lunatic than Yuri. Keith had lessened that feeling somewhat, but now-- Keith was part of that other world, too. He'd only wanted something normal. That was what Keith had seemed: uncomplicated, straightforward. He should leave him now, but he'd found out too late. He wanted Keith, wanted to stay with him, as mad as that was.] I don't like to be mislead--you should at least have told me before we were married--and I'm not happy about that, but there's no need to apologize. You were doing what you thought was right. [As he always did.] You know you can trust me to keep your secret.
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[Though it's not long before Keith goes from looking almost blissfully at Yuri to looking almost crestfallen as his thoughts started to jump from one conclusion to the next.] A...ah you're right...I took away some of your choices. I guess if you had known that I probably wouldn't have been your first pick since it is dangerous...no one wants to think about losing someone they love. If you ever wanted to back out for any reason I'd get it [that didn't mean the very thought of it wasn't a sad one which he couldn't help once his face reflected it] Ah...I know, I trust you.
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It was unfair. [He knows how much more unfair he's being, and his conscience stings. He can't be that cruel. He softens his words and his expression.] But that is why, because I don't want to lose you. [These words are true. He will lose him, in one way or another. He can see that now. He shouldn't have allowed himself to grow close to anyone. It had been a mistake.] I won't back out now, Keith. I've committed myself. Once I've made a decision, I don't change my mind, not lightly. You're the one I've chosen, no matter what happens. [The problem is, he has to deal with two contradictory choices. He sighs. This won't be easy. The wiser course of action would be to leave Keith now. Why did he have to grow attached? At one point, it had seemed like a good idea to have a significant other, further masking the truth.]
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