(no subject)
As the weather of our town changes, so it seems does the people. I just keep observing the people I know acting differently. I'm not saying that I don't change either, not that I would be able to tell, I'm just trying to find the source of this. This is just one of my random thoughts, but it u think that this relates to you, then you are most likely right. Just don't get mad at me, I'm not saying it’s changing for a bad way, just in a way.
What I can't help, is that I have this desire to move time faster, yet I don't. I'm excited for what comes next, but I don't want to grow up, I don't want to change what I have now, I don't want to depend on just memories and photographs to hold onto the past. In fact, I'm pretty confused on what I want, I mean, I'm just if someone came up to me and said "what do u want, I can make it come true" I would think of something, but now where I stand, I'm clueless.
I feel like its almost pointless to update, seeing that, those who know me well, know what’s going on in my life, and if u don't know, then there is most likely a reason. Again this is not a mean phrase; in fact there is no anger in any of these lines. But anyway, I feel like if I write about just my life, then it’s boring and normal, yet, I don't want to write about anything that’s bothering me, or what ever is clouding my mind, because why would I want everyone to know that?
I have realized something today, that a lot of people I know really well, I can tell exactly what they will do next and if the information they are giving me are true or false. I then got to thinking, who really knows me that well, who could just look at my blank face and see what I'm thinking, truthfully I can't think of anyone, and if there is someone, then they are keeping it from me. I can still surprise people with things that I do even though they don't surprise me. I could very much be a really happy person inside as well as the personality I'm projecting to everyone else, but my best defense of not letting anyone know what I’m thinking is just a happy smile. I might have not mastered most of the skills used to keep things hidden, but I have mastered the smile. No matter what is going on in my head, my grin doesn't change.
Have you ever worn something really tight around your hand until you get one of those depressions in your skin? It stayed there for a long time until it slowly disappears. This kind of reminds of people. The longer they are there, and the closer to you they get, the deeper they get in your life. As soon as they are gone, there is an empty space, with just the memory of how important they were to you. It stays there as a reminder of what once was, until it slowly fades away. Soon enough you start to forget it was ever there. But again like a hair tie, that space is always left for the same thing again or another thing, weather it will/will not go deeper as the one before. The moral of this story kids, it’s that there is always room for someone to return, if it’s the same person or not, that space can always be filled again no matter how long it was empty.
Ok, I think this makes up for the not updating in like FOREVER. haha, I'm really proud of you if you actually read the whole thing, because seriously, I don't think I would even. haha.