Unforgivable-- Chapter V
Title: Unforgivable
Author: Melusine
Beta: toshimalfoy
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: WolfYuu/Yuuram, Greta
Warnings this part: Issues of rape
Overall warnings: Angst, violence, incest, dubious consent, statutory rape, issues of rape
Spoilers: Through season 2.
Disclaimer: Kyou Kara Maou! and related characters, situations, etc. belong to Tomo Takabayashi and various other people/companies, none of whom are me. This is a fan work; no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: It's been seven years since Yuuri became the Demon King, proposed to Wolfram, and adopted Greta. When the relationship between Yuuri and Wolfram begins to shift, and Greta is attacked, everything changes and old wounds are exposed.
Part: 5/?
Chapter V
The next morning, Yuuri extricating himself from his husband's arms to get up was enough to wake Wolfram. This was unusual, because in general, even if they fell asleep curled up against each other, one or both of them (Wolfram was sure it couldn't always be his fault, no matter what the wimp said) would inevitably roll away, kick, throw off the covers or take more than his fair share, and morning would find them in some sort of disorderly heap of limbs and bedclothes. It was odd, therefore, that Wolfram had clung to Yuuri so long, even if it was only a few hours that they were actually in bed, and had held on so tightly that he felt it when Yuuri moved away.
Wolfram definitely didn't mind. He smiled sleepily to himself as he watched Yuuri dress, too content to get out of bed, what with the extra warmth Yuuri had left behind, not to mention his scent, and the sunlight streaming between the curtains that the wimp had never properly closed last night, and, most noticeably, with the absence of lace and too-slippery silk against his skin. He'd gotten so used to it that he stopped noticing it, or being bothered at the way the nightgown always rode up in the night, but wearing real night clothes was-- well, it was almost like being naked, but in the best possible way. He'd enjoyed it a little, he supposed, when he'd been sleeping alone in the weeks before the wedding, but the sensation had been overshadowed by loneliness and sexual frustration and the simple inferiority of his military bed to the royal one.
Now, Wolfram nestled deeper into the soft down pillows that smelled of daily washings and of his Yuuri. There was nowhere he had to be until this afternoon, and last night had been such a trial of self-restraint that he felt he deserved the indulgence of simply not moving until he wanted to. And perhaps letting his mind wander a little in the fuzziness of sleep, pondering the possibilities for tonight.
"Yuuri," he said, after a minute, "Are we going to visit Greta today?"
Yuuri finished buttoning his jacket and turned around. "Not today," he said, and Wolfram frowned at the look on his husband's face. "I'm still too tired."
Wolfram sat up, noticing the circles under Yuuri's eyes. "Did you sleep at all last night?"
Yuuri avoided his gaze. "Not really."
"You know, you can go without me, if that'll make it easier. It's better that she get to see one of us..."
"No," Yuuri shook his head. "I don't think I could make it even with just me. Not without having to stay there for days to recover, anyway. I just... I need some more time. And sleep."
"So come back to bed."
Again, he shook his head. "I..." He swallowed. "Staying here with you, when I'm not allowed to..."
Wolfram smirked in spite of himself. Yuuri's face reddened, and he muttered an excuse as he turned to the door. When he was gone, Wolfram fell back against the pillows once more. He wondered if he should feel bad for torturing Yuuri like this. But whatever Yuuri felt was nothing to how difficult it was for Wolfram to push him away after so long... And, anyways, it was only until tonight.
His smile widened to a grin. Now he had an almost-legitimate reason to stay here until the maids came to clean up. He had to tell them to lay out the royal wedding quilt.
* * *
Yuuri knew that sometime soon he would have to go see Greta. He'd promised; a few days, he'd said. It had been almost a week now, and he was beginning to realize that at this point he was simply making excuses. What sort of person did that make him?
But he really was tired, and he was so confused and frustrated about everything... And he had responsibilities, though admittedly at the moment his kingly duties were confined to paperwork. It was just that the situation with Greta was so huge, so vastly terrible, and they'd passed the point where simply sitting still and catching their breath was acceptable. She had to face the rest of her life, now, and her fathers had to help her. Only, Yuuri didn't know how and he was terrified of making more mistakes and too often when he thought about her he couldn't keep himself from picturing it...
And yet, he and Wolfram were--
But wasn't it alright for them to comfort each other? Surely it was okay to allow themselves to be distracted for a little while. And it was distracting. Confusing. Because Yuuri thought it should be perfectly simple-- He wanted to be with Wolfram. But Wolfram had all these rules and Yuuri never knew what they were, so he kept breaking them and making it all worse when it should have been the most wonderful thing in the world.
He'd said as much to Conrad that morning, when everything spilled out of him in his exhaustion and frustration, and it had turned out to be one of the least comforting conversations he'd ever had. "Be careful," Conrad had warned him. "There are things he won't forgive." Which was so ominous that Yuuri had felt far too ill to eat breakfast and now could see his hand shaking slightly as he wrote out his signature for the hundredth time that day.
Then Wolfram came in and suddenly everything was a little better. He remembered that Wolfram would never let him do anything really terrible.
His husband's expression was beautiful-- a smile that kept slipping out of his control-- and such a relief after what felt like months of hard-set features and scowls. As he came in, he even smiled at Conrad, who was standing in his usual place by the door. Well, perhaps that was more of a smirk, but at any rate he was acknowledging his half-brother's existence, which was more than he'd sometimes done in the past week.
Then he gave a little nod towards the door, and Yuuri watched uncomfortably as Conrad bowed and exited quietly.
"I wish you wouldn't treat him like that," Yuuri said, as soon as the door had clicked shut. Wolfram ignored this, but came towards him with a look that made Yuuri forget about Conrad and anyone else altogether.
Yuuri pushed his chair away from the desk to stand, but Wolfram put his hands on his shoulders and held him down. Before Yuuri could complain, however, he leaned forward and kissed him hungrily. Yuuri leaned into it, and brought his hands up to fist in Wolfram's hair. He felt the other boy shift without breaking the kiss, and in a moment he was straddling Yuuri.
Almost. Wolfram's knees were pressed against Yuuri's hips, but he denied contact where Yuuri needed it most, resisting all of his desperate attempts to pull him down.
Wolfram laughed and pulled away slightly. "Is something bothering you, Yuuri? You seem a bit flustered."
"Why?" Yuuri groaned. "Why are you still--"
"Do you really want our first time to be in your office at ten in the morning?"
But he didn't stop Yuuri from kissing Wolfram's neck, feeling the pulse there quicken under his lips. "It's not the first time," Yuuri reasoned, which was one thing he hadn't tried last night. "You alread--"
"That doesn't count!" Wolfram said sharply. "That was an accident and a misunderstanding." He jerked away, stepping down from his position on the chair and leaning against the desk instead.
"So... Why did you send Conrad out, then? Just to tease me?"
Wolfram suddenly grinned again. "Of course. I want to know..." He reached out and brushed Yuuri's bangs from his forehead. "...That you've been waiting for me all day." He trailed his fingers lightly down Yuuri's face, across his cheek... "That's how it's supposed to be, you know. The ceremony at dawn, usually without even a kiss..." His touch reached Yuuri's mouth, catching his lip... "Then nearly twenty hours of standing next to each other..." Yuuri opened his mouth, grabbed hold of Wolfram's wrist so that he couldn't escape Yuuri's tongue... "Barely... touching at all..." Yuuri sucked two of Wolfram's fingers into his mouth, wanting... "Until..." Wolfram was flushed too, now, breathing heavily... "Until finally..." Yuuri released Wolfram's fingers in favor of exploring his palm, and Wolfram's voice grew throaty... "The wedding night."
For another moment Yuuri was allowed to continue laying open-mouthed kisses across his husband's palm, over the salty creases and soft planes, down to his wrist, before Wolfram tore his hand away.
He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and made a show of wiping off his hand. "You've gotten me all sticky, Wimp." His voice was impressively steady, though his cheeks were still red.
It was very, very hard for Yuuri to stay in his chair. Especially when Wolfram straightened up and slid past him, their knees bumping teasingly, and headed for the door. When he reached it, he stopped and turned back to say, "I'll see you tonight."
Tonight. He hoped it was a promise. As Wolfram left, he wiped his mouth and chin on his sleeve and thought how it was easy for Wolfram to say "tonight" after all that-- he would be out on the training grounds all day while Yuuri was left with a pile of paperwork to ease his frustration.
There was only one option he could think of. But even as he reached down, the door opened again as Conrad came in, and he heard Wolfram's voice.
"Oh, and Weller," he was saying. "He won't admit it, but I don't think he's feeling very well. He seems a little... feverish. So don't leave him alone today, even for a moment."
* * *
Yes, Wolfram was aware that what he was doing had perhaps crossed over to cruelty. But even if Yuuri was hard all day it still wouldn't make up for all those years that Wolfram slept next to him, danced with him, even bathed with him, and was never allowed to really touch him.
But after tonight... After the first time, which Wolfram would make sure was perfect, after this, there would be so much time to be sloppy and quick and slow and careful and reckless... And it would be safe because there would be nothing Yuuri wanted that Wolfram wouldn't give him.
And he wouldn't have to worry about the wimp getting scared about the fact that they were both men, because Wolfram would make him feel so good that Yuuri would realize it couldn't be wrong, that his embarrassment was ridiculous, his protests about “not being gay” were ridiculous. Even the word was ridiculous-- a Human word, one Wolfram knew only from books before he met Yuuri, a word that came from far-away places like Shimeron, where not only were marriages between Humans and Demons forbidden (which at least made some sense), but also marriages between two men or two women.
Wolfram cursed himself for letting his thoughts drift to Humans and their uncivilized practices. He didn't want to think about that today. Tonight was his wedding night, and he couldn't revel in anticipation when he was thinking about that and planning his revenge. Especially when his revenge involved deceiving his new husband.
So, instead, he watched Yuuri and Conrad throwing one of those little balls back and forth. It was endearing, really, how the wimp was so easily amused. Today, however, he seemed somewhat distracted. Wolfram smiled. He couldn't help enjoying the fact that Weller would be watching Yuuri all day, seeing how much he wanted Wolfram in ways that he'd never wanted Conrad. Wolfram had won.
Of course, for years now, increasingly ever since Weller had foolishly defected to Belal, Wolfram had become Yuuri's best friend. But now! Anything that might have been between Conrad and Yuuri was nothing compared to this. And so Wolfram had his revenge for Conrad's warnings over the years, the patronizing, the subtle comments regarding Wolfram's position. "Don't fall in love with him." "He doesn't feel the same way." "Be careful, or you'll get hurt." "You have to realize the possibility that Yuuri might want to be with someone else." "Wolfram, he proposed to you on accident." All this while self-righteous Weller rode with Yuuri, spent long hours alone with him, helped him dress, and looked at him... Wolfram couldn't even think about that look without feeling the bile rise in the back of his throat.
Yes. Weller definitely deserved to see Yuuri squirming with need for the boy he'd proposed to by accident.
* * *
Once Wolfram had gone, Yuuri's mood fell once more. All the anxieties, all his weariness, came back. He didn't know which feeling to trust-- this one, or the way he felt when Wolfram was there and comforting him with just his presence.
“Conrad,” he said, during a game of catch that he had hoped would help him calm himself. “What did you mean before?” Part of him didn't want to know, told him to stop talking or run away... “What-- What can't he forgive? Do you really think that he-- that I could mess it all up?”
Conrad paused for a moment, the ball in his hand, wearing the somber expression Yuuri had been seeing more and more of lately.
“No,” he answered finally, throwing the ball back to Yuuri. “He'll always love you.”
Yuuri felt his face burn, and his return pitch went wide.
“I shouldn't have said what I did,” his friend continued. “It must have scared you. But... You shouldn't listen to me. I'm sure you know him better than I do by now.”
Again, Yuuri's heart sank. He wasn't sure at all that he knew Wolfram better than his brother, who'd grown up with him, known him several times longer than Yuuri had even been alive. But Conrad had effectively ended the conversation, and Yuuri couldn't ask him anything more.
* * *
All through dinner, Wolfram watched Yuuri fidget and blush each time their eyes met. It was entertaining, but Wolfram was also starting to get impatient himself. Neither of them ate very much, eager to hurry the meal along, and Wolfram was glad he'd forgotten to request Yuuri's favorite desserts. A chocolate soufflé would have taken so much work to prepare that it would have been inexcusably rude not to sit and enjoy it.
Wolfram was still picking politely at his food as they waited for the others to finish, when it occurred to him that the flush in Yuuri's cheeks might not be entirely due to the knowledge of what was going to happen as soon as they were alone together. Well, more alone together. Though they had both, through some silent understanding, made sure that their chairs weren't too close, Wolfram sat at the High King's right, and tonight neither had been very involved in the conversation of the rest of the table.
“Easy on the wine, Wimp,” Wolfram said now, with a significant look that made Yuuri's face even redder, then added, “You don't want to end up falling out of trees like your daughter.”
Yuuri stared at him.
It took Wolfram too long to realize why. Once he did, he felt his own face grow hot with guilt as he slowly set his spork down.
“I forgot,” he said. “That didn't actually happen, did it?”
“It was a good story,” Yuuri said quietly. He didn't need to finish the thought-- better than the real one. He raised his glass to take another sip of wine, but Wolfram stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“I'm serious. You're not used to drinking so much; you'll make yourself sick.” Obediently, Yuuri set down the glass, but didn't look at him. Wolfram leaned in and lowered his voice. “Are you nervous?”
Yuuri hesitated. “I was, but I thought that when I saw you again I wouldn't be... but now you're nervous and so now I'm very nervous. Yes.”
Wolfram wanted to say that he wasn't nervous, just impatient (even if that wasn't completely true), but was afraid that might put pressure on the wimp, so instead he leaned even closer, and whispered against Yuuri's ear, “Nothing has to happen tonight, Yuuri. If you want to wait...”
Yuuri hid his response behind his water glass. “That is the last thing I want.” He took a sip. “But I don't want to mess up.”
“You couldn't possibly,” Wolfram breathed, enjoying the way his husband shuddered at the warmth by his ear.
Gwendal coughed.
Wolfram blushed once more and hastily drew away to sit up straight and face the rest of the table. Inwardly, he smiled at how his big brother was still trying to protect his virtue even now that he was married, and his reputation even now that he was king.
In contrast, Wolfram himself wasn't particularly fussed about the others seeing anything, nor was he planning on going through any trouble at all to hide or excuse his and Yuuri's early retirement this evening.
* * *
Whatever buzz Yuuri had gotten from his three glasses of wine had worn off by the time they had escaped dinner and he was following Wolfram down the corridor to their bedroom, but his head had started to spin in a whole new way. He wondered how much Wolfram would really mind if Yuuri simply tackled him out here in the hall.
Probably a lot.
Even though Yuuri could tell by his pace that he was barely holding back a sprint. Even though he kept almost-but-not-quite turning his head to look at Yuuri. Even though the hand closest to Yuuri would twitch every now and then as if wanting to grab hold of him and drag him to bed... Which Yuuri would have no objections to.
But they were getting there. This was the last turn-- Now they were in their own hallway-- Here was their door--
Then the door clicked shut, and they were alone.
Already, Yuuri felt himself grow hard as Wolfram slowly removed his sword and boots, and then at last turned around to smile at him. "What shall we do now, Yuu--"
He was cut off as Yuuri surged forward and pushed him against the wall, covering his mouth sloppily with his own. Wolfram, for a moment, indulgently opened his mouth for him, but then abruptly broke away. He grasped Yuuri's wrists, which had been pressed against Wolfram's chest, and pushed back, advancing towards the bed.
Yuuri was walking backwards, but he kept his eyes trained on Wolfram's, knowing he wouldn't be allowed to misstep.
"It's a good thing I'm stronger than you," Wolfram smirked. "Else you'd have it all be over in a matter of seconds, wouldn't you?"
"I've been waiting..." Yuuri breathed.
Wolfram's expression turned serious. "No, Yuuri, I've been waiting." The back of Yuuri's legs hit the bed. He fell, more than sat, down onto it. Wolfram released his wrists and bent to undo the buttons of Yuuri's jacket, speaking quietly and never looking away from Yuuri's face as he worked. "Please understand how long I've been waiting for this, how badly I've wanted it, how many times I gave up hope..." Yuuri could have sworn he saw tears in Wolfram's eyes, but the next moment there was only deep hunger.
Wolfram slowly pushed Yuuri down onto the bed. "... And," he added, "how many times I've come just imagining getting to see you like this."
Yuuri heard himself make an odd, strangled noise deep in his throat. He wanted to move, but knew Wolfram didn't want him to. So he kept himself still, feeling his blood pulsing hotly through his body, as Wolfram continued to unbutton his jacket.
"I want this," Wolfram whispered, "to be perfect. I want to make it last as long as possible. I want to savor you, Yuuri." Yuuri's jacket was open, now, but there was still his shirt to be dealt with. With everything Wolfram had just said, Yuuri had to bite his lip and concentrate just to hold himself back as Wolfram began to unbutton the shirt one-handed, laying the other hand on the growing area of Yuuri's chest that was exposed.
Finally, finally, the buttons were all undone. Wolfram straightened up, and said, "Sit up." Yuuri obeyed, shrugging the clothes off his shoulders.
For a moment, Wolfram seemed frozen, almost frightened. Yuuri himself was scared again, now wondering if he could live up to Wolfram's fantasies. He realized he didn't even know quite what was expected of him, what Wolfram had in mind.
Still, Yuuri was sure it involved touching, and both of them being naked. He reached up to Wolfram's belt and tugged him a little closer. Wolfram looked down at him, his breathing growing faster, and buried a hand in Yuuri's hair.
After fumbling enough to be very embarrassed, Yuuri asked shyly, "Wolfram? How do you undo this thing?"
Wolfram laughed and suddenly the playfulness was back. "Wimp." He undid the complex buckle himself, then lifted his hands to his cravat.
"Your clothes are so complicated," Yuuri complained, but he took the opportunity to kick off his shoes and to get rid of his shirt and jacket completely.
Wolfram's smirk was starting to become One of Those Things that made him hot and sweaty and far too excited. "Patience, Your Majesty, remember?" He pulled away the snow-white fabric, and the sight of his bare throat was enough to double Yuuri's heartbeat. He wanted his hands, his lips, his tongue, right there in that strangely private hollow at the base of his throat, a part of Wolfram, Yuuri suddenly realized, that only he was allowed to see.
Yuuri moved almost involuntarily forward, nearly falling off the bed, and for once Wolfram didn't step back, but let Yuuri run his hands from Wolfram's hips up to where the buttons of his jacket began. Despite Wolfram's demands of patience, Yuuri was eager for more bare skin and so unbuttoned the two layers at the same time, though his hands were shaking with restrained excitement. He had to concentrate just to push each silver button through the frustratingly small slit in the fabric beneath.
Wolfram watched him silently, and when at last Yuuri reached the final button, he looked up as he pulled the clothes open, and saw Wolfram's expression had changed once again, this time to something close to disbelief.
Yuuri stood, running his hands up Wolfram's bare chest as he rose. How had he lived so long without realizing that such a simple touch could feel so good?
"Wolfram..." He wanted to ask what was wrong, maybe to apologize for the years he'd wasted that had made Wolfram so sure this would never happen, but the words didn't come.
Wolfram stared at him for a moment more, then growled and pulled him roughly into a kiss. Yuuri overbalanced and toppled back onto the bed, and Wolfram fell with him.
Now it was all mouths and hands and hot skin brushing together not often enough and clothing still in the way-- Yuuri pulled Wolfram's jacket down to his elbows but could do no more because Wolfram wouldn't let him out of the kiss, kept him pinned to the bed. But it was so good...
Then Wolfram's hand slipped down the front of Yuuri's pants and Yuuri gasped at the unexpected, bare contact, and it happened so quickly that he didn't have time to think to stop it and he keened into Wolfram's mouth as his orgasm shuddered through him.
Wolfram broke away from Yuuri's lips while he was still gasping, and looked down, bringing his sullied hand up to stare at it. His hair, now darkened with sweat, hung down to obscure his face.
"I'm so sorry," Yuuri choked. "Wolfram, I'm so sorry, I've ruined everything, I--" He cut himself off as Wolfram looked up and Yuuri saw that he was grinning, his whole face transformed with wild happiness.
"God, Yuuri," he breathed. "You are so..."
He kissed him again, but Yuuri turned away slightly to say, "I'm so what?"
"You're so... just... beautiful." The last word was spoken as a sigh, and barely audible.
Yuuri's face grew, if possible, hotter. "So are you," he said, because there was nothing else to say, and because it was true.
"I know," said Wolfram, still grinning. "Now are you going to kiss me or are you selfish as well as a wimp?"
So Yuuri twisted his hands once more in Wolfram's hair and pulled him down. But he soon broke away in favor of placing open-mouthed kisses along Wolfram's neck. When his husband groaned, his breathing becoming labored once more, Yuuri increased the pressure of his tongue against Wolfram's hot skin, and started to move down to his shoulder, his chest... Wolfram sat up, bringing Yuuri with him with a gentle pull, and dropped his arms to his sides, letting his shirt and jacket fall to the floor.
Yuuri wrapped his arms around Wolfram's waist and mouthed his stomach. He wanted to feel all of Wolfram, to taste all of Wolfram... He wanted to be closer. And it wasn't sexual, despite all that they were doing-- it was something much greater than that, a purer attraction than the physical, stronger than anything Yuuri had felt before.
He felt Wolfram pull slightly against his embrace, and so released him, though he kept his hands on his hips, needing the touch, small as it was. Wolfram stood and moved his hands to the button at his waist, but Yuuri brushed them away. Dizzy with anticipation, he slowly undid the clasp and pulled downward, making Wolfram gasp--
And then Yuuri was looking at Wolfram's erection, already leaking for him. Yuuri's own arousal had been building back up, and now it was suddenly painful. But what he wanted--
But, no, he couldn't do anything Wolfram didn't want him to do. He looked up at his partner, and found his cheeks dark red, his mouth slightly open, and his eyes trained on Yuuri.
Yuuri swallowed under that gaze, as intense as the one that frightened him so much when Wolfram was angry. "Wolfram... Can I..."
Wolfram had one hand in his own hair, and now he grasped the bedpost with the other. He said nothing.
Well, if Wolfram wanted him to stop, he would make it known. Yuuri leaned in and licked.
Wolfram gasped sharply. Yuuri looked up again to make sure what he'd done was alright, suddenly terrified. If he'd made another mistake, if Wolfram walked away again...
The hand on his hair had moved to cover his mouth. And this time Yuuri knew he wasn't imagining it-- there were tears in Wolfram's eyes as he looked at Yuuri. Then he dropped both of his hands, took a deep, shuddering breath, and dropped to his knees. His fingers, far steadier than Yuuri's somehow, had undone Yuuri's own belt and trousers before he realized what was happening, that Wolfram hadn't rejected him, Wolfram had liked what Yuuri did...
Yuuri scrambled to help with the last barrier of clothing, then they were on the bed and they were touching everywhere and it was wonderful...
This was what Yuuri wanted. Longer than he could remember, he'd wanted this, without knowing it. He only wished he could have more. So he thrust his tongue deeper into Wolfram's mouth, pulled him down more tightly against him, moved more quickly.
Wolfram pulled away.
Yuuri could have wept. In desperation he wrapped his legs around Wolfram's waist and kept his hands knotted in his beautiful hair, whimpering, beyond shame, ready to beg for more contact, more closeness, more of Wolfram's breath and heartbeat, more.
"Yuuri," Wolfram hushed him. "It's okay, calm down. Patience, remember? Just--"
"No!" The word was wrenched from somewhere deep inside him, halfway between a sob and a groan, and once it was out he couldn't stop. "I want-- I want-- I want you-- Wolfram, I want you everywhere-- I want to swallow you-- I want you inside me--"
Wolfram covered Yuuri's mouth with his hand. He looked surprised, but was remarkably calm compared to the turmoil that was threatening to tear Yuuri apart just because they weren't touching enough. "Okay," Wolfram said. He removed his hand.
"Okay?" Yuuri said, after he'd remembered how to breathe. "Okay what?"
Wolfram didn't answer, because he currently had several of his own fingers in his mouth. Yuuri tightened his grip in his hair, warning Wolfram not to pull away any further. He was distracted when Wolfram drew his now-dripping fingers out of his mouth once more. Yuuri licked the saliva from the others' lower lip as Wolfram reached down between them, passing right by Yuuri's erection...
Oh. That place-- Oh, but he couldn't deny it felt good. And then Wolfram pushed and he was inside of Yuuri and Yuuri couldn't believe it, he'd gotten what he asked for and it was so good.
And he wanted more. Moaning in both pleasure and need, he pressed down against Wolfram's hand. He felt Wolfram, whose mouth was still centimeters from Yuuri's, catch his breath in his throat, and he opened his eyes. Wolfram's look was, if possible, even hungrier than before. "Now... relax..." he said in an unsteady whisper.
More pressure-- another finger. More fullness, more of Wolfram. He rocked up and down, wanting it all deeper...
Wolfram stopped his movement with a strong hand on his hip, began to draw back his other hand, taking away what Yuuri needed--
"No," Yuuri whimpered again. "Please..."
"Shh." Wolfram's tongue ran soothingly across Yuuri's open mouth. "Wimp. I'm not going anywhere." A kiss on his chest. "Not tonight. Not ever again." Heavy breath was comforting and arousing at the same time over his stomach as-- ears full of that promise-- he allowed Wolfram, whose hair he was still gripping tightly, to abandon Yuuri's mouth and move down his body. He twitched when Wolfram passed his erection, soft hair teasing him.
Wolfram's hot mouth joined his fingers, now only halfway inside him. Yuuri shivered, then felt a soft kiss followed by the wet caress of Wolfram's tongue. Wet enough that when that pressure came back in full, he could move more smoothly, more quickly, though Wolfram still held him down, allowing only small, needy motions.
Yuuri made a sound of gratitude for the attentions, but was impatient to meet Wolfram's eyes again, to have him up here with him. Thankfully, his husband responded to his gentle tugging at his hair. As he shifted, their erections brushed together once more, and Yuuri bucked involuntarily.
Wolfram made a small sound, then seized the back of Yuuri's neck and drew him into another kiss before slipping a third finger inside of Yuuri, who gasped and moaned desperately into Wolfram's mouth at the hint of pain that made it all the more real and therefore better. Wolfram began to move his hand, slowly, to the rhythm of the kiss.
Now Yuuri had to concentrate on not succumbing to the pull of impending climax. If he did, Wolfram might stop, might think he'd had enough, when Yuuri doubted he would ever have enough.
When Wolfram began to pull back against Yuuri's grip in his hair that kept him in the kiss, Yuuri had to let him go, but only enough so that he could speak.
"Ready?" he whispered against Yuuri's lips.
Yuuri had to try several times to speak before he could actually form words. "For what?"
God, that smirk was back. "For more."
Of course. Always. Yes. Yes, please. But all Yuuri managed was a barely intelligible "Uh huh..."
Wolfram kissed his cheek. "I'm going to take my hand away, alright? I just need to reach something. It'll just be a second, I promise." When Yuuri tensed, feeling a moment of terrifying panic at the thought of Wolfram drawing away again, he added, "It's okay, relax. Yuuri, you have to trust me. Just... breathe."
Yuuri swallowed, but nodded, and did his best to calm himself. Wolfram wasn't going anywhere, he reminded himself. And at any rate, Yuuri hadn't let go of his hair. So he closed his eyes, breathed, and Wolfram's fingers slipped out of him.
His grip in Wolfram's hair tightened as he felt him turning away slightly. He heard the drawer of the bedside table opening. Then Wolfram was back, facing him again, and Yuuri opened his eyes to see Wolfram opening a small bottle of oil. Yuuri knew full well what kind of oil it was, but felt that if they were going to use it, the time to do so would have been a little while ago.
Still, he wasn't going to complain. Especially when Wolfram poured a little onto his hand and reached again between Yuuri's legs.
Then Wolfram, meeting Yuuri's eyes, rubbed the oil on himself and then Yuuri finally understood.
And got so excited that he once again had to consciously keep himself from climaxing.
It was hard to say whether it was Yuuri or Wolfram who shifted, but in seconds Yuuri was flat on his back, his legs still spread and with Wolfram above him, the most beautiful thing Yuuri had ever seen, all flushed face and damp hair and open mouth inches from Yuuri's.
But looking was very far from being enough. Yuuri bucked his hips in a silent plea to hurry up, but for a few moments Wolfram didn't move. Then Yuuri felt him shaking and so kissed him softly.
"You have to tell me if it's not okay," Wolfram whispered. When Yuuri nodded, he finally shifted, and again his hand ran down Yuuri's hypersensitive body, but this time Yuuri reached down between them as well, spreading himself for his husband. Wolfram kissed Yuuri briefly on the mouth once more before guiding himself in.
Yuuri gasped-- shut his eyes-- tried to breathe--
Wolfram stopped. "Am I hurting you?" he asked anxiously.
One one of Yuuri's hands was still in Wolfram's hair, and he wrapped the other arm around Wolfram's neck, tight enough that they couldn't see each other.
"No," he lied, though his eyes were watering. He didn't want Wolfram to stop. Just the idea of this-- Wolfram inside him!-- made stopping unthinkable, made the pain immaterial. "Keep going."
So Wolfram kept going, and Yuuri kept feeling that he was full, so impossibly, wonderfully full, and then Wolfram would give him more and Yuuri would take it, until finally Wolfram had buried himself fully in Yuuri.
By this time, tears were streaming down the sides of Yuuri's face, but he relaxed his grip around Wolfram's neck enough that his own head fell back upon the bed and their eyes met once more.
"Does it hurt?" Wolfram asked again, against Yuuri's lips.
"No," said Yuuri again, and this time it was closer to the truth. What he felt most was elation, a euphoric satisfaction with everything that was happening to his body right now. "You can move," he added.
Wolfram hesitated, then obeyed, moving shallowly at first, but thrusting deeper as he grew more confident. Yuuri bit his lip, afraid of making any noise that could make Wolfram stop, and then--
And then, while he was busy just enjoying Wolfram inside him and the soft, gorgeous sounds Wolfram was making because of his body, Yuuri felt something else entirely and gasped so loudly that Wolfram paused.
"Do that again," Yuuri panted. He could feel Wolfram's mouth move into a grin against his cheek.
So Wolfram moved again and again, hitting just the right place deep inside of Yuuri, and far too quickly Yuuri was past the point of resisting and gave himself over completely to blinding orgasm.
His whole body tensed, Wolfram gasped, and Yuuri felt a sudden warmth in what now seemed to be the center of his body.
After several moments, when the uneven rising and falling of their chests against each other had slowed down a little, Wolfram raised his head to kiss Yuuri once more before drawing away.
Reluctantly, Yuuri let go of Wolfram's hair, let him slip out of him... The ghost of that feeling of fullness remained, as if Wolfram had marked him, an idea Yuuri liked very much.
Wolfram, wisely, didn't go far, but settled down beside Yuuri, his head resting on Yuuri's chest so that he couldn't see his face. Yuuri wondered if Wolfram was listening to his heartbeat, and the thought brought a familiar warmth of pleasure. He reflected that if he'd known that all this was within his reach, that that was even an option, he would have begged Wolfram for it years ago, when he'd first realized that he could never want anyone else because no one, no matter how beautiful or sweet she was, could compete with his friendship with Wolfram. He'd wasted so much time, put Wolfram through so much suffering... But they were here now, and he was too happy to dwell on regrets.
* * *
Wolfram was once again fighting back tears. He hated that Yuuri did this, among many other things, to him. Before they met, Wolfram hadn't cried in nearly thirty years. And even since the day Yuuri left he hadn't actually wept.
Mostly he was angry at himself. He'd been too terrified to make the most of what had just happened. Even now some damn part of him refused to believe it, or expected Yuuri at any moment to realize he'd just had sex with a man and run away. In order to calm his own fears, Wolfram indulged himself in the fresh memories of the past hour. There was so much... Despite his wavering, his confusion, his reluctance to believe, it had still been better than any fantasy he'd conjured up over all these years, Yuuri more willing than Wolfram could ever have imagined.
He'd made Yuuri come.
That first time had been a stupid decision, but had seemed necessary at the moment to give himself proof, or to get it done before he woke up from his dream or before Yuuri could deny him. Oh, but it had been good, the best feeling in the world to have that warm liquid slippery in his palm, knowing it was him Yuuri wanted, so much that it took hardly a touch before he lost control, for all that Wolfram knew he'd been trying to hold himself back.
And then Yuuri had still wanted him. Unselfishly, with no sexual motivation, he'd wanted to kiss Wolfram and undress him and... Then it had hit him once again, that this was happening, that he was actually getting what he'd wanted, more than he'd wanted, for the seven longest years of his life.
Of course, Wolfram had assumed that Yuuri would never want to play the part that he, in his strange Human-raised way, would think of as belonging to a woman. He'd been ready to give himself over to whatever Yuuri wanted of him.
But, God-- Yuuri had pleaded, had needed him, couldn't let go of him, gripped his hair so tightly that Wolfram was sure his scalp would be sore for days. Which was, of course, entirely worth it. But when Yuuri was under him, begging him, the paralyzing fear had returned.
He wasn't prepared for this. He hadn't even thought about it. And if he hurt Yuuri--
He was amazed he'd been able to do it at all, even with Yuuri's desperate encouragement. Of course, once it was clear that Yuuri really was enjoying it, that he was going to come just from having Wolfram inside him, Wolfram had felt again the nearly terrifying happiness that was so impossible and yet... real.
He tried to hold this memory in the forefront of his mind, to fend off the doubts which most of him knew were unnecessary.
"Wolfram," said Yuuri now, jerking him from his thoughts. He could feel the vibrations in Yuuri's chest as he spoke. "Have you done that before?"
Taken aback by the question and the worry in Yuuri's tone, Wolfam hesitated a moment before answering. "Don't be stupid. I've never been married before."
"Yeah, but--"
Wolfram sat up and turned away. Stupidly, his heart rate sped up, though he told himself he had nothing to be afraid of. Yuuri made a noise of protest and sat up, too, wrapping his arms around Wolfram. "I'm sorry!" he said. "Please, Wolfram, don't be mad. It's just that you knew all those things..."
"Not from experience," Wolfram said, his face now growing hot in a new kind of uncomfortable.
"Then how did you know what to do?" Yuuri came up to rest his chin on Wolfram's shoulder.
"I... You don't want to know."
"Oh come on, I think I have a right."
Wolfram had to tear himself away from Yuuri's grip and stand up before he could answer, going over to the dresser for his bathrobe. "A few days before the wedding," he said, carefully keeping his back to Yuuri, "my mother sat me down and gave me a... very long lecture."
After a moment of stunned silence, Yuuri said, "You have a very strange relationship with your mother."
Yuuri didn't know the half of it. There had been diagrams. Even worse was that it had been necessary, as it turned out. Wolfram had known the basic idea, of course, but hadn't suspected it could be so complicated.
He put on his robe and turned around, eager to change the subject. But Yuuri's face stopped him, all wounded expression and already-swollen bottom lip caught between his teeth.
"Where are you going?" Yuuri asked quietly.
And Wolfram suddenly realized, as he should have long before, that Yuuri was just as terrified as he was. When he'd clung to Wolfram in desperate need just minutes ago, it hadn't just been out of fear of being left unsatisfied once again, but was real panic coming to surface when he was so naked.
Wolfram felt his expression soften and drift into the sort of smile most people weren't allowed to see. He held out his hands to his husband. "I thought we'd take a bath. Look at you, you're--" He cut himself off. You're covered in your own come, was what he'd been about to say. And it was true, the stuff had dried on both of their stomachs. But Wolfram didn't say things like that. It was someone else's voice who'd supplied those words.
"Wolfram?" Yuuri's voice was scared and close. "Are you okay?"
He blinked and looked back at Yuuri. "I'm fine. I'm just tired, I suppose."
"Then why don't we just go to bed?"
Wolfram laughed. "Like this? It's disgusting." The only reason Wolfram was allowing the dirtied bedspread to remain, in fact, was that it was the royal wedding quilt and they would be sleeping with two layers of clean sheets between them and it.
Yuuri managed to look slightly hurt again. "I don't think so."
"Only because you don't know any better," Wolfram scoffed. "Come on, I'll wash your back."
Yuuri didn't blush at the offer as he'd used to; soon it would be impossible to tease him. Instead, he reached up from where he knelt on the bed to take Wolfram's head in both hands and pull him down into a kiss. "You were the one who said you wanted to make it last as long as possible," he murmured. Wolfram couldn't tell if Yuuri was trying to be seductive, or if he was simply tired. "Let's just stay..."
Wolfram realized he didn't have a choice in the matter. He would have to wait until Yuuri was asleep before he could escape to the bath. So he nodded and let Yuuri slip the robe off and tug him into bed.
* * *
Yuuri woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of Wolfram leaving. He wondered if Wolfram still thought he was... But how could there be anything dirty or disgusting about what they'd just done? It had felt so right-- more than right, like he'd discovered a whole new way of breathing, a new way of being, wrapped around the place inside him where Wolfram came, his whole body still humming, still feeling it. He hardly wanted to move for fear of losing this feeling, let alone wash it away.
He couldn't decide how much it mattered that Wolfram didn't seem to feel the same way. But after a while of lying alone in the dark, after the warmth of Wolfram's body had gone completely from his side of the bed, Yuuri did start to wonder.
It wasn't that he doubted Wolfram. He'd known for a long time now that Wolfram was, and would always be, entirely devoted to him. So where did this pain come from, this fear? Why did it hurt so much that Wolfram wasn't there? The only explanation was that there must be some part of him that still didn't trust Wolfram...
This made Yuuri feel even worse. He'd put Wolfram through years of needless pain, the least he could do was trust him. He imagined the only thing worse than loving someone who didn't seem to love you back would be to love someone who didn't believe it.
He must have fallen asleep at some point, however, because he woke up to daylight and Wolfram, snoring lightly, sprawled out next to him with one arm across Yuuri's chest. The blankets had been kicked to the floor, and Yuuri smiled when he saw that his husband was still naked.
For a while he just looked. Then he thought about the fact that he was looking, and how much he was enjoying it, and before he could stop himself he was wondering where that fit into their friendship, because wanting to be closer to Wolfram and wanting to please him was one thing, but looking was...
But didn't he like to watch Greta sleep, too? It was just because he loved Wolfram so much, liked to see him happy and peaceful like this. It wasn't because he was naked. Yuuri wasn't staring at his friend's body. And all those times over the years he'd wanted to look when they were in the bath together, that had just been curiosity. There was nothing wrong with that. It was normal, something everyone felt but didn't talk about.
And what harm was it, anyway, if he liked the way that Wolfram looked? Everyone thought Wolfram was beautiful. It was simple aesthetics-- he was pleasing to the eye. And if that could be said about his face, why not the rest of him? Anyone would be looking. There was nothing... romantic or sexual about the way Yuuri looked at Wolfram. Even Greta sometimes watched him with the same fascination Yuuri did.
There was no reason Yuuri should be thinking about what Wolfram had said the other night as he fell asleep. This had nothing to do with that. There was no need-- not now, and not ever-- to examine exactly why Yuuri didn't feel guilty at the thought that Wolfram was in love with him.
* * *
Something wet and warm on the side of Wolfram's face. "Wimp," he muttered, "that better be you."
Soft laughter. "Is there someone else who wakes you up? Are you cheating on me, Wolfram?"
Wolfram opened one eye to see Yuuri, already up and dressed-- and finally bathed-- grinning down at him. He had to try very hard not to grin back. "Hmph," he said. "If I was, it wouldn't be with someone who licks. One of you is quite enough." His husband took this as an invitation to lick him again, just barely missing his ear, and once again it wasn't nearly as disgusting as it should have been. "I feared some sort of animal," Wolfram grumbled.
Yuuri laughed again, then nipped his ear and growled. Which was really just unbearably cute. Wolfram lost the battle with his own lips and smiled stupidly. His husband ran a hand through Wolfram's hair and said, "Come on, we're going to Earth today."
"Really?"
"Mmm," Yuuri said affirmatively, nuzzling against his ear. "I find myself oddly refreshed this morning for some reason."
Wolfram laughed, partly because Yuuri's hot breath was tickling him. "Then you'd better not start something you can't finish," he warned, squirming delightedly. "Or you might end up getting all tired out anyways."
All the same, he was a little disappointed when Yuuri obediently drew away and straightened up. "True," he agreed, still smiling a little mischievously. "Especially as I'll need to be as focused as I can-- I'm going to try and go back in time a little so she won't have to wait this long. You know, like how Shinou used to take me back to Earth at almost the same moment that I left. I'll get us there a few days after we dropped her off... instead of a whole week." His expression darkened with guilt.
Wolfram nodded. He hated the thought of Greta just sitting and waiting for them in that foreign world, feeling abandoned and wondering if they'd forgotten about her. After all, she was used to spending hours every day with Wolfram, studying and practicing the skills of a proper Demon princess, and at least seeing Yuuri at mealtimes. Even if they'd been negligent the past few weeks, she was accustomed to being smothered with attention. And not just from her fathers, he reminded himself, but from all sides. There was no Anissina in the other world to fill her head with science and feminism, no Gwendal to secretly spoil her, no servants to fawn over her and make sure she had everything she needed. She hadn't even taken very many books with her, in the end. Anissina's ridiculous novels, all of which Greta had already read, and only a few of the educational books he'd wanted her to take (provided she didn't remove them from her trunk again while he wasn't looking). He would have to remember to bring her more, and maybe set up some requirements for her reading while she was away. Just because he wasn't there didn't mean he couldn't give her assignments. She might complain, but it was better that she have something to do than dwell on what had happened.
* * *
Chapter IV
Chapter III
Chapter II
Chapter I
On to chapter VI
Author: Melusine
Beta: toshimalfoy
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: WolfYuu/Yuuram, Greta
Warnings this part: Issues of rape
Overall warnings: Angst, violence, incest, dubious consent, statutory rape, issues of rape
Spoilers: Through season 2.
Disclaimer: Kyou Kara Maou! and related characters, situations, etc. belong to Tomo Takabayashi and various other people/companies, none of whom are me. This is a fan work; no profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended.
Summary: It's been seven years since Yuuri became the Demon King, proposed to Wolfram, and adopted Greta. When the relationship between Yuuri and Wolfram begins to shift, and Greta is attacked, everything changes and old wounds are exposed.
Part: 5/?
Chapter V
The next morning, Yuuri extricating himself from his husband's arms to get up was enough to wake Wolfram. This was unusual, because in general, even if they fell asleep curled up against each other, one or both of them (Wolfram was sure it couldn't always be his fault, no matter what the wimp said) would inevitably roll away, kick, throw off the covers or take more than his fair share, and morning would find them in some sort of disorderly heap of limbs and bedclothes. It was odd, therefore, that Wolfram had clung to Yuuri so long, even if it was only a few hours that they were actually in bed, and had held on so tightly that he felt it when Yuuri moved away.
Wolfram definitely didn't mind. He smiled sleepily to himself as he watched Yuuri dress, too content to get out of bed, what with the extra warmth Yuuri had left behind, not to mention his scent, and the sunlight streaming between the curtains that the wimp had never properly closed last night, and, most noticeably, with the absence of lace and too-slippery silk against his skin. He'd gotten so used to it that he stopped noticing it, or being bothered at the way the nightgown always rode up in the night, but wearing real night clothes was-- well, it was almost like being naked, but in the best possible way. He'd enjoyed it a little, he supposed, when he'd been sleeping alone in the weeks before the wedding, but the sensation had been overshadowed by loneliness and sexual frustration and the simple inferiority of his military bed to the royal one.
Now, Wolfram nestled deeper into the soft down pillows that smelled of daily washings and of his Yuuri. There was nowhere he had to be until this afternoon, and last night had been such a trial of self-restraint that he felt he deserved the indulgence of simply not moving until he wanted to. And perhaps letting his mind wander a little in the fuzziness of sleep, pondering the possibilities for tonight.
"Yuuri," he said, after a minute, "Are we going to visit Greta today?"
Yuuri finished buttoning his jacket and turned around. "Not today," he said, and Wolfram frowned at the look on his husband's face. "I'm still too tired."
Wolfram sat up, noticing the circles under Yuuri's eyes. "Did you sleep at all last night?"
Yuuri avoided his gaze. "Not really."
"You know, you can go without me, if that'll make it easier. It's better that she get to see one of us..."
"No," Yuuri shook his head. "I don't think I could make it even with just me. Not without having to stay there for days to recover, anyway. I just... I need some more time. And sleep."
"So come back to bed."
Again, he shook his head. "I..." He swallowed. "Staying here with you, when I'm not allowed to..."
Wolfram smirked in spite of himself. Yuuri's face reddened, and he muttered an excuse as he turned to the door. When he was gone, Wolfram fell back against the pillows once more. He wondered if he should feel bad for torturing Yuuri like this. But whatever Yuuri felt was nothing to how difficult it was for Wolfram to push him away after so long... And, anyways, it was only until tonight.
His smile widened to a grin. Now he had an almost-legitimate reason to stay here until the maids came to clean up. He had to tell them to lay out the royal wedding quilt.
* * *
Yuuri knew that sometime soon he would have to go see Greta. He'd promised; a few days, he'd said. It had been almost a week now, and he was beginning to realize that at this point he was simply making excuses. What sort of person did that make him?
But he really was tired, and he was so confused and frustrated about everything... And he had responsibilities, though admittedly at the moment his kingly duties were confined to paperwork. It was just that the situation with Greta was so huge, so vastly terrible, and they'd passed the point where simply sitting still and catching their breath was acceptable. She had to face the rest of her life, now, and her fathers had to help her. Only, Yuuri didn't know how and he was terrified of making more mistakes and too often when he thought about her he couldn't keep himself from picturing it...
And yet, he and Wolfram were--
But wasn't it alright for them to comfort each other? Surely it was okay to allow themselves to be distracted for a little while. And it was distracting. Confusing. Because Yuuri thought it should be perfectly simple-- He wanted to be with Wolfram. But Wolfram had all these rules and Yuuri never knew what they were, so he kept breaking them and making it all worse when it should have been the most wonderful thing in the world.
He'd said as much to Conrad that morning, when everything spilled out of him in his exhaustion and frustration, and it had turned out to be one of the least comforting conversations he'd ever had. "Be careful," Conrad had warned him. "There are things he won't forgive." Which was so ominous that Yuuri had felt far too ill to eat breakfast and now could see his hand shaking slightly as he wrote out his signature for the hundredth time that day.
Then Wolfram came in and suddenly everything was a little better. He remembered that Wolfram would never let him do anything really terrible.
His husband's expression was beautiful-- a smile that kept slipping out of his control-- and such a relief after what felt like months of hard-set features and scowls. As he came in, he even smiled at Conrad, who was standing in his usual place by the door. Well, perhaps that was more of a smirk, but at any rate he was acknowledging his half-brother's existence, which was more than he'd sometimes done in the past week.
Then he gave a little nod towards the door, and Yuuri watched uncomfortably as Conrad bowed and exited quietly.
"I wish you wouldn't treat him like that," Yuuri said, as soon as the door had clicked shut. Wolfram ignored this, but came towards him with a look that made Yuuri forget about Conrad and anyone else altogether.
Yuuri pushed his chair away from the desk to stand, but Wolfram put his hands on his shoulders and held him down. Before Yuuri could complain, however, he leaned forward and kissed him hungrily. Yuuri leaned into it, and brought his hands up to fist in Wolfram's hair. He felt the other boy shift without breaking the kiss, and in a moment he was straddling Yuuri.
Almost. Wolfram's knees were pressed against Yuuri's hips, but he denied contact where Yuuri needed it most, resisting all of his desperate attempts to pull him down.
Wolfram laughed and pulled away slightly. "Is something bothering you, Yuuri? You seem a bit flustered."
"Why?" Yuuri groaned. "Why are you still--"
"Do you really want our first time to be in your office at ten in the morning?"
But he didn't stop Yuuri from kissing Wolfram's neck, feeling the pulse there quicken under his lips. "It's not the first time," Yuuri reasoned, which was one thing he hadn't tried last night. "You alread--"
"That doesn't count!" Wolfram said sharply. "That was an accident and a misunderstanding." He jerked away, stepping down from his position on the chair and leaning against the desk instead.
"So... Why did you send Conrad out, then? Just to tease me?"
Wolfram suddenly grinned again. "Of course. I want to know..." He reached out and brushed Yuuri's bangs from his forehead. "...That you've been waiting for me all day." He trailed his fingers lightly down Yuuri's face, across his cheek... "That's how it's supposed to be, you know. The ceremony at dawn, usually without even a kiss..." His touch reached Yuuri's mouth, catching his lip... "Then nearly twenty hours of standing next to each other..." Yuuri opened his mouth, grabbed hold of Wolfram's wrist so that he couldn't escape Yuuri's tongue... "Barely... touching at all..." Yuuri sucked two of Wolfram's fingers into his mouth, wanting... "Until..." Wolfram was flushed too, now, breathing heavily... "Until finally..." Yuuri released Wolfram's fingers in favor of exploring his palm, and Wolfram's voice grew throaty... "The wedding night."
For another moment Yuuri was allowed to continue laying open-mouthed kisses across his husband's palm, over the salty creases and soft planes, down to his wrist, before Wolfram tore his hand away.
He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and made a show of wiping off his hand. "You've gotten me all sticky, Wimp." His voice was impressively steady, though his cheeks were still red.
It was very, very hard for Yuuri to stay in his chair. Especially when Wolfram straightened up and slid past him, their knees bumping teasingly, and headed for the door. When he reached it, he stopped and turned back to say, "I'll see you tonight."
Tonight. He hoped it was a promise. As Wolfram left, he wiped his mouth and chin on his sleeve and thought how it was easy for Wolfram to say "tonight" after all that-- he would be out on the training grounds all day while Yuuri was left with a pile of paperwork to ease his frustration.
There was only one option he could think of. But even as he reached down, the door opened again as Conrad came in, and he heard Wolfram's voice.
"Oh, and Weller," he was saying. "He won't admit it, but I don't think he's feeling very well. He seems a little... feverish. So don't leave him alone today, even for a moment."
* * *
Yes, Wolfram was aware that what he was doing had perhaps crossed over to cruelty. But even if Yuuri was hard all day it still wouldn't make up for all those years that Wolfram slept next to him, danced with him, even bathed with him, and was never allowed to really touch him.
But after tonight... After the first time, which Wolfram would make sure was perfect, after this, there would be so much time to be sloppy and quick and slow and careful and reckless... And it would be safe because there would be nothing Yuuri wanted that Wolfram wouldn't give him.
And he wouldn't have to worry about the wimp getting scared about the fact that they were both men, because Wolfram would make him feel so good that Yuuri would realize it couldn't be wrong, that his embarrassment was ridiculous, his protests about “not being gay” were ridiculous. Even the word was ridiculous-- a Human word, one Wolfram knew only from books before he met Yuuri, a word that came from far-away places like Shimeron, where not only were marriages between Humans and Demons forbidden (which at least made some sense), but also marriages between two men or two women.
Wolfram cursed himself for letting his thoughts drift to Humans and their uncivilized practices. He didn't want to think about that today. Tonight was his wedding night, and he couldn't revel in anticipation when he was thinking about that and planning his revenge. Especially when his revenge involved deceiving his new husband.
So, instead, he watched Yuuri and Conrad throwing one of those little balls back and forth. It was endearing, really, how the wimp was so easily amused. Today, however, he seemed somewhat distracted. Wolfram smiled. He couldn't help enjoying the fact that Weller would be watching Yuuri all day, seeing how much he wanted Wolfram in ways that he'd never wanted Conrad. Wolfram had won.
Of course, for years now, increasingly ever since Weller had foolishly defected to Belal, Wolfram had become Yuuri's best friend. But now! Anything that might have been between Conrad and Yuuri was nothing compared to this. And so Wolfram had his revenge for Conrad's warnings over the years, the patronizing, the subtle comments regarding Wolfram's position. "Don't fall in love with him." "He doesn't feel the same way." "Be careful, or you'll get hurt." "You have to realize the possibility that Yuuri might want to be with someone else." "Wolfram, he proposed to you on accident." All this while self-righteous Weller rode with Yuuri, spent long hours alone with him, helped him dress, and looked at him... Wolfram couldn't even think about that look without feeling the bile rise in the back of his throat.
Yes. Weller definitely deserved to see Yuuri squirming with need for the boy he'd proposed to by accident.
* * *
Once Wolfram had gone, Yuuri's mood fell once more. All the anxieties, all his weariness, came back. He didn't know which feeling to trust-- this one, or the way he felt when Wolfram was there and comforting him with just his presence.
“Conrad,” he said, during a game of catch that he had hoped would help him calm himself. “What did you mean before?” Part of him didn't want to know, told him to stop talking or run away... “What-- What can't he forgive? Do you really think that he-- that I could mess it all up?”
Conrad paused for a moment, the ball in his hand, wearing the somber expression Yuuri had been seeing more and more of lately.
“No,” he answered finally, throwing the ball back to Yuuri. “He'll always love you.”
Yuuri felt his face burn, and his return pitch went wide.
“I shouldn't have said what I did,” his friend continued. “It must have scared you. But... You shouldn't listen to me. I'm sure you know him better than I do by now.”
Again, Yuuri's heart sank. He wasn't sure at all that he knew Wolfram better than his brother, who'd grown up with him, known him several times longer than Yuuri had even been alive. But Conrad had effectively ended the conversation, and Yuuri couldn't ask him anything more.
* * *
All through dinner, Wolfram watched Yuuri fidget and blush each time their eyes met. It was entertaining, but Wolfram was also starting to get impatient himself. Neither of them ate very much, eager to hurry the meal along, and Wolfram was glad he'd forgotten to request Yuuri's favorite desserts. A chocolate soufflé would have taken so much work to prepare that it would have been inexcusably rude not to sit and enjoy it.
Wolfram was still picking politely at his food as they waited for the others to finish, when it occurred to him that the flush in Yuuri's cheeks might not be entirely due to the knowledge of what was going to happen as soon as they were alone together. Well, more alone together. Though they had both, through some silent understanding, made sure that their chairs weren't too close, Wolfram sat at the High King's right, and tonight neither had been very involved in the conversation of the rest of the table.
“Easy on the wine, Wimp,” Wolfram said now, with a significant look that made Yuuri's face even redder, then added, “You don't want to end up falling out of trees like your daughter.”
Yuuri stared at him.
It took Wolfram too long to realize why. Once he did, he felt his own face grow hot with guilt as he slowly set his spork down.
“I forgot,” he said. “That didn't actually happen, did it?”
“It was a good story,” Yuuri said quietly. He didn't need to finish the thought-- better than the real one. He raised his glass to take another sip of wine, but Wolfram stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“I'm serious. You're not used to drinking so much; you'll make yourself sick.” Obediently, Yuuri set down the glass, but didn't look at him. Wolfram leaned in and lowered his voice. “Are you nervous?”
Yuuri hesitated. “I was, but I thought that when I saw you again I wouldn't be... but now you're nervous and so now I'm very nervous. Yes.”
Wolfram wanted to say that he wasn't nervous, just impatient (even if that wasn't completely true), but was afraid that might put pressure on the wimp, so instead he leaned even closer, and whispered against Yuuri's ear, “Nothing has to happen tonight, Yuuri. If you want to wait...”
Yuuri hid his response behind his water glass. “That is the last thing I want.” He took a sip. “But I don't want to mess up.”
“You couldn't possibly,” Wolfram breathed, enjoying the way his husband shuddered at the warmth by his ear.
Gwendal coughed.
Wolfram blushed once more and hastily drew away to sit up straight and face the rest of the table. Inwardly, he smiled at how his big brother was still trying to protect his virtue even now that he was married, and his reputation even now that he was king.
In contrast, Wolfram himself wasn't particularly fussed about the others seeing anything, nor was he planning on going through any trouble at all to hide or excuse his and Yuuri's early retirement this evening.
* * *
Whatever buzz Yuuri had gotten from his three glasses of wine had worn off by the time they had escaped dinner and he was following Wolfram down the corridor to their bedroom, but his head had started to spin in a whole new way. He wondered how much Wolfram would really mind if Yuuri simply tackled him out here in the hall.
Probably a lot.
Even though Yuuri could tell by his pace that he was barely holding back a sprint. Even though he kept almost-but-not-quite turning his head to look at Yuuri. Even though the hand closest to Yuuri would twitch every now and then as if wanting to grab hold of him and drag him to bed... Which Yuuri would have no objections to.
But they were getting there. This was the last turn-- Now they were in their own hallway-- Here was their door--
Then the door clicked shut, and they were alone.
Already, Yuuri felt himself grow hard as Wolfram slowly removed his sword and boots, and then at last turned around to smile at him. "What shall we do now, Yuu--"
He was cut off as Yuuri surged forward and pushed him against the wall, covering his mouth sloppily with his own. Wolfram, for a moment, indulgently opened his mouth for him, but then abruptly broke away. He grasped Yuuri's wrists, which had been pressed against Wolfram's chest, and pushed back, advancing towards the bed.
Yuuri was walking backwards, but he kept his eyes trained on Wolfram's, knowing he wouldn't be allowed to misstep.
"It's a good thing I'm stronger than you," Wolfram smirked. "Else you'd have it all be over in a matter of seconds, wouldn't you?"
"I've been waiting..." Yuuri breathed.
Wolfram's expression turned serious. "No, Yuuri, I've been waiting." The back of Yuuri's legs hit the bed. He fell, more than sat, down onto it. Wolfram released his wrists and bent to undo the buttons of Yuuri's jacket, speaking quietly and never looking away from Yuuri's face as he worked. "Please understand how long I've been waiting for this, how badly I've wanted it, how many times I gave up hope..." Yuuri could have sworn he saw tears in Wolfram's eyes, but the next moment there was only deep hunger.
Wolfram slowly pushed Yuuri down onto the bed. "... And," he added, "how many times I've come just imagining getting to see you like this."
Yuuri heard himself make an odd, strangled noise deep in his throat. He wanted to move, but knew Wolfram didn't want him to. So he kept himself still, feeling his blood pulsing hotly through his body, as Wolfram continued to unbutton his jacket.
"I want this," Wolfram whispered, "to be perfect. I want to make it last as long as possible. I want to savor you, Yuuri." Yuuri's jacket was open, now, but there was still his shirt to be dealt with. With everything Wolfram had just said, Yuuri had to bite his lip and concentrate just to hold himself back as Wolfram began to unbutton the shirt one-handed, laying the other hand on the growing area of Yuuri's chest that was exposed.
Finally, finally, the buttons were all undone. Wolfram straightened up, and said, "Sit up." Yuuri obeyed, shrugging the clothes off his shoulders.
For a moment, Wolfram seemed frozen, almost frightened. Yuuri himself was scared again, now wondering if he could live up to Wolfram's fantasies. He realized he didn't even know quite what was expected of him, what Wolfram had in mind.
Still, Yuuri was sure it involved touching, and both of them being naked. He reached up to Wolfram's belt and tugged him a little closer. Wolfram looked down at him, his breathing growing faster, and buried a hand in Yuuri's hair.
After fumbling enough to be very embarrassed, Yuuri asked shyly, "Wolfram? How do you undo this thing?"
Wolfram laughed and suddenly the playfulness was back. "Wimp." He undid the complex buckle himself, then lifted his hands to his cravat.
"Your clothes are so complicated," Yuuri complained, but he took the opportunity to kick off his shoes and to get rid of his shirt and jacket completely.
Wolfram's smirk was starting to become One of Those Things that made him hot and sweaty and far too excited. "Patience, Your Majesty, remember?" He pulled away the snow-white fabric, and the sight of his bare throat was enough to double Yuuri's heartbeat. He wanted his hands, his lips, his tongue, right there in that strangely private hollow at the base of his throat, a part of Wolfram, Yuuri suddenly realized, that only he was allowed to see.
Yuuri moved almost involuntarily forward, nearly falling off the bed, and for once Wolfram didn't step back, but let Yuuri run his hands from Wolfram's hips up to where the buttons of his jacket began. Despite Wolfram's demands of patience, Yuuri was eager for more bare skin and so unbuttoned the two layers at the same time, though his hands were shaking with restrained excitement. He had to concentrate just to push each silver button through the frustratingly small slit in the fabric beneath.
Wolfram watched him silently, and when at last Yuuri reached the final button, he looked up as he pulled the clothes open, and saw Wolfram's expression had changed once again, this time to something close to disbelief.
Yuuri stood, running his hands up Wolfram's bare chest as he rose. How had he lived so long without realizing that such a simple touch could feel so good?
"Wolfram..." He wanted to ask what was wrong, maybe to apologize for the years he'd wasted that had made Wolfram so sure this would never happen, but the words didn't come.
Wolfram stared at him for a moment more, then growled and pulled him roughly into a kiss. Yuuri overbalanced and toppled back onto the bed, and Wolfram fell with him.
Now it was all mouths and hands and hot skin brushing together not often enough and clothing still in the way-- Yuuri pulled Wolfram's jacket down to his elbows but could do no more because Wolfram wouldn't let him out of the kiss, kept him pinned to the bed. But it was so good...
Then Wolfram's hand slipped down the front of Yuuri's pants and Yuuri gasped at the unexpected, bare contact, and it happened so quickly that he didn't have time to think to stop it and he keened into Wolfram's mouth as his orgasm shuddered through him.
Wolfram broke away from Yuuri's lips while he was still gasping, and looked down, bringing his sullied hand up to stare at it. His hair, now darkened with sweat, hung down to obscure his face.
"I'm so sorry," Yuuri choked. "Wolfram, I'm so sorry, I've ruined everything, I--" He cut himself off as Wolfram looked up and Yuuri saw that he was grinning, his whole face transformed with wild happiness.
"God, Yuuri," he breathed. "You are so..."
He kissed him again, but Yuuri turned away slightly to say, "I'm so what?"
"You're so... just... beautiful." The last word was spoken as a sigh, and barely audible.
Yuuri's face grew, if possible, hotter. "So are you," he said, because there was nothing else to say, and because it was true.
"I know," said Wolfram, still grinning. "Now are you going to kiss me or are you selfish as well as a wimp?"
So Yuuri twisted his hands once more in Wolfram's hair and pulled him down. But he soon broke away in favor of placing open-mouthed kisses along Wolfram's neck. When his husband groaned, his breathing becoming labored once more, Yuuri increased the pressure of his tongue against Wolfram's hot skin, and started to move down to his shoulder, his chest... Wolfram sat up, bringing Yuuri with him with a gentle pull, and dropped his arms to his sides, letting his shirt and jacket fall to the floor.
Yuuri wrapped his arms around Wolfram's waist and mouthed his stomach. He wanted to feel all of Wolfram, to taste all of Wolfram... He wanted to be closer. And it wasn't sexual, despite all that they were doing-- it was something much greater than that, a purer attraction than the physical, stronger than anything Yuuri had felt before.
He felt Wolfram pull slightly against his embrace, and so released him, though he kept his hands on his hips, needing the touch, small as it was. Wolfram stood and moved his hands to the button at his waist, but Yuuri brushed them away. Dizzy with anticipation, he slowly undid the clasp and pulled downward, making Wolfram gasp--
And then Yuuri was looking at Wolfram's erection, already leaking for him. Yuuri's own arousal had been building back up, and now it was suddenly painful. But what he wanted--
But, no, he couldn't do anything Wolfram didn't want him to do. He looked up at his partner, and found his cheeks dark red, his mouth slightly open, and his eyes trained on Yuuri.
Yuuri swallowed under that gaze, as intense as the one that frightened him so much when Wolfram was angry. "Wolfram... Can I..."
Wolfram had one hand in his own hair, and now he grasped the bedpost with the other. He said nothing.
Well, if Wolfram wanted him to stop, he would make it known. Yuuri leaned in and licked.
Wolfram gasped sharply. Yuuri looked up again to make sure what he'd done was alright, suddenly terrified. If he'd made another mistake, if Wolfram walked away again...
The hand on his hair had moved to cover his mouth. And this time Yuuri knew he wasn't imagining it-- there were tears in Wolfram's eyes as he looked at Yuuri. Then he dropped both of his hands, took a deep, shuddering breath, and dropped to his knees. His fingers, far steadier than Yuuri's somehow, had undone Yuuri's own belt and trousers before he realized what was happening, that Wolfram hadn't rejected him, Wolfram had liked what Yuuri did...
Yuuri scrambled to help with the last barrier of clothing, then they were on the bed and they were touching everywhere and it was wonderful...
This was what Yuuri wanted. Longer than he could remember, he'd wanted this, without knowing it. He only wished he could have more. So he thrust his tongue deeper into Wolfram's mouth, pulled him down more tightly against him, moved more quickly.
Wolfram pulled away.
Yuuri could have wept. In desperation he wrapped his legs around Wolfram's waist and kept his hands knotted in his beautiful hair, whimpering, beyond shame, ready to beg for more contact, more closeness, more of Wolfram's breath and heartbeat, more.
"Yuuri," Wolfram hushed him. "It's okay, calm down. Patience, remember? Just--"
"No!" The word was wrenched from somewhere deep inside him, halfway between a sob and a groan, and once it was out he couldn't stop. "I want-- I want-- I want you-- Wolfram, I want you everywhere-- I want to swallow you-- I want you inside me--"
Wolfram covered Yuuri's mouth with his hand. He looked surprised, but was remarkably calm compared to the turmoil that was threatening to tear Yuuri apart just because they weren't touching enough. "Okay," Wolfram said. He removed his hand.
"Okay?" Yuuri said, after he'd remembered how to breathe. "Okay what?"
Wolfram didn't answer, because he currently had several of his own fingers in his mouth. Yuuri tightened his grip in his hair, warning Wolfram not to pull away any further. He was distracted when Wolfram drew his now-dripping fingers out of his mouth once more. Yuuri licked the saliva from the others' lower lip as Wolfram reached down between them, passing right by Yuuri's erection...
Oh. That place-- Oh, but he couldn't deny it felt good. And then Wolfram pushed and he was inside of Yuuri and Yuuri couldn't believe it, he'd gotten what he asked for and it was so good.
And he wanted more. Moaning in both pleasure and need, he pressed down against Wolfram's hand. He felt Wolfram, whose mouth was still centimeters from Yuuri's, catch his breath in his throat, and he opened his eyes. Wolfram's look was, if possible, even hungrier than before. "Now... relax..." he said in an unsteady whisper.
More pressure-- another finger. More fullness, more of Wolfram. He rocked up and down, wanting it all deeper...
Wolfram stopped his movement with a strong hand on his hip, began to draw back his other hand, taking away what Yuuri needed--
"No," Yuuri whimpered again. "Please..."
"Shh." Wolfram's tongue ran soothingly across Yuuri's open mouth. "Wimp. I'm not going anywhere." A kiss on his chest. "Not tonight. Not ever again." Heavy breath was comforting and arousing at the same time over his stomach as-- ears full of that promise-- he allowed Wolfram, whose hair he was still gripping tightly, to abandon Yuuri's mouth and move down his body. He twitched when Wolfram passed his erection, soft hair teasing him.
Wolfram's hot mouth joined his fingers, now only halfway inside him. Yuuri shivered, then felt a soft kiss followed by the wet caress of Wolfram's tongue. Wet enough that when that pressure came back in full, he could move more smoothly, more quickly, though Wolfram still held him down, allowing only small, needy motions.
Yuuri made a sound of gratitude for the attentions, but was impatient to meet Wolfram's eyes again, to have him up here with him. Thankfully, his husband responded to his gentle tugging at his hair. As he shifted, their erections brushed together once more, and Yuuri bucked involuntarily.
Wolfram made a small sound, then seized the back of Yuuri's neck and drew him into another kiss before slipping a third finger inside of Yuuri, who gasped and moaned desperately into Wolfram's mouth at the hint of pain that made it all the more real and therefore better. Wolfram began to move his hand, slowly, to the rhythm of the kiss.
Now Yuuri had to concentrate on not succumbing to the pull of impending climax. If he did, Wolfram might stop, might think he'd had enough, when Yuuri doubted he would ever have enough.
When Wolfram began to pull back against Yuuri's grip in his hair that kept him in the kiss, Yuuri had to let him go, but only enough so that he could speak.
"Ready?" he whispered against Yuuri's lips.
Yuuri had to try several times to speak before he could actually form words. "For what?"
God, that smirk was back. "For more."
Of course. Always. Yes. Yes, please. But all Yuuri managed was a barely intelligible "Uh huh..."
Wolfram kissed his cheek. "I'm going to take my hand away, alright? I just need to reach something. It'll just be a second, I promise." When Yuuri tensed, feeling a moment of terrifying panic at the thought of Wolfram drawing away again, he added, "It's okay, relax. Yuuri, you have to trust me. Just... breathe."
Yuuri swallowed, but nodded, and did his best to calm himself. Wolfram wasn't going anywhere, he reminded himself. And at any rate, Yuuri hadn't let go of his hair. So he closed his eyes, breathed, and Wolfram's fingers slipped out of him.
His grip in Wolfram's hair tightened as he felt him turning away slightly. He heard the drawer of the bedside table opening. Then Wolfram was back, facing him again, and Yuuri opened his eyes to see Wolfram opening a small bottle of oil. Yuuri knew full well what kind of oil it was, but felt that if they were going to use it, the time to do so would have been a little while ago.
Still, he wasn't going to complain. Especially when Wolfram poured a little onto his hand and reached again between Yuuri's legs.
Then Wolfram, meeting Yuuri's eyes, rubbed the oil on himself and then Yuuri finally understood.
And got so excited that he once again had to consciously keep himself from climaxing.
It was hard to say whether it was Yuuri or Wolfram who shifted, but in seconds Yuuri was flat on his back, his legs still spread and with Wolfram above him, the most beautiful thing Yuuri had ever seen, all flushed face and damp hair and open mouth inches from Yuuri's.
But looking was very far from being enough. Yuuri bucked his hips in a silent plea to hurry up, but for a few moments Wolfram didn't move. Then Yuuri felt him shaking and so kissed him softly.
"You have to tell me if it's not okay," Wolfram whispered. When Yuuri nodded, he finally shifted, and again his hand ran down Yuuri's hypersensitive body, but this time Yuuri reached down between them as well, spreading himself for his husband. Wolfram kissed Yuuri briefly on the mouth once more before guiding himself in.
Yuuri gasped-- shut his eyes-- tried to breathe--
Wolfram stopped. "Am I hurting you?" he asked anxiously.
One one of Yuuri's hands was still in Wolfram's hair, and he wrapped the other arm around Wolfram's neck, tight enough that they couldn't see each other.
"No," he lied, though his eyes were watering. He didn't want Wolfram to stop. Just the idea of this-- Wolfram inside him!-- made stopping unthinkable, made the pain immaterial. "Keep going."
So Wolfram kept going, and Yuuri kept feeling that he was full, so impossibly, wonderfully full, and then Wolfram would give him more and Yuuri would take it, until finally Wolfram had buried himself fully in Yuuri.
By this time, tears were streaming down the sides of Yuuri's face, but he relaxed his grip around Wolfram's neck enough that his own head fell back upon the bed and their eyes met once more.
"Does it hurt?" Wolfram asked again, against Yuuri's lips.
"No," said Yuuri again, and this time it was closer to the truth. What he felt most was elation, a euphoric satisfaction with everything that was happening to his body right now. "You can move," he added.
Wolfram hesitated, then obeyed, moving shallowly at first, but thrusting deeper as he grew more confident. Yuuri bit his lip, afraid of making any noise that could make Wolfram stop, and then--
And then, while he was busy just enjoying Wolfram inside him and the soft, gorgeous sounds Wolfram was making because of his body, Yuuri felt something else entirely and gasped so loudly that Wolfram paused.
"Do that again," Yuuri panted. He could feel Wolfram's mouth move into a grin against his cheek.
So Wolfram moved again and again, hitting just the right place deep inside of Yuuri, and far too quickly Yuuri was past the point of resisting and gave himself over completely to blinding orgasm.
His whole body tensed, Wolfram gasped, and Yuuri felt a sudden warmth in what now seemed to be the center of his body.
After several moments, when the uneven rising and falling of their chests against each other had slowed down a little, Wolfram raised his head to kiss Yuuri once more before drawing away.
Reluctantly, Yuuri let go of Wolfram's hair, let him slip out of him... The ghost of that feeling of fullness remained, as if Wolfram had marked him, an idea Yuuri liked very much.
Wolfram, wisely, didn't go far, but settled down beside Yuuri, his head resting on Yuuri's chest so that he couldn't see his face. Yuuri wondered if Wolfram was listening to his heartbeat, and the thought brought a familiar warmth of pleasure. He reflected that if he'd known that all this was within his reach, that that was even an option, he would have begged Wolfram for it years ago, when he'd first realized that he could never want anyone else because no one, no matter how beautiful or sweet she was, could compete with his friendship with Wolfram. He'd wasted so much time, put Wolfram through so much suffering... But they were here now, and he was too happy to dwell on regrets.
* * *
Wolfram was once again fighting back tears. He hated that Yuuri did this, among many other things, to him. Before they met, Wolfram hadn't cried in nearly thirty years. And even since the day Yuuri left he hadn't actually wept.
Mostly he was angry at himself. He'd been too terrified to make the most of what had just happened. Even now some damn part of him refused to believe it, or expected Yuuri at any moment to realize he'd just had sex with a man and run away. In order to calm his own fears, Wolfram indulged himself in the fresh memories of the past hour. There was so much... Despite his wavering, his confusion, his reluctance to believe, it had still been better than any fantasy he'd conjured up over all these years, Yuuri more willing than Wolfram could ever have imagined.
He'd made Yuuri come.
That first time had been a stupid decision, but had seemed necessary at the moment to give himself proof, or to get it done before he woke up from his dream or before Yuuri could deny him. Oh, but it had been good, the best feeling in the world to have that warm liquid slippery in his palm, knowing it was him Yuuri wanted, so much that it took hardly a touch before he lost control, for all that Wolfram knew he'd been trying to hold himself back.
And then Yuuri had still wanted him. Unselfishly, with no sexual motivation, he'd wanted to kiss Wolfram and undress him and... Then it had hit him once again, that this was happening, that he was actually getting what he'd wanted, more than he'd wanted, for the seven longest years of his life.
Of course, Wolfram had assumed that Yuuri would never want to play the part that he, in his strange Human-raised way, would think of as belonging to a woman. He'd been ready to give himself over to whatever Yuuri wanted of him.
But, God-- Yuuri had pleaded, had needed him, couldn't let go of him, gripped his hair so tightly that Wolfram was sure his scalp would be sore for days. Which was, of course, entirely worth it. But when Yuuri was under him, begging him, the paralyzing fear had returned.
He wasn't prepared for this. He hadn't even thought about it. And if he hurt Yuuri--
He was amazed he'd been able to do it at all, even with Yuuri's desperate encouragement. Of course, once it was clear that Yuuri really was enjoying it, that he was going to come just from having Wolfram inside him, Wolfram had felt again the nearly terrifying happiness that was so impossible and yet... real.
He tried to hold this memory in the forefront of his mind, to fend off the doubts which most of him knew were unnecessary.
"Wolfram," said Yuuri now, jerking him from his thoughts. He could feel the vibrations in Yuuri's chest as he spoke. "Have you done that before?"
Taken aback by the question and the worry in Yuuri's tone, Wolfam hesitated a moment before answering. "Don't be stupid. I've never been married before."
"Yeah, but--"
Wolfram sat up and turned away. Stupidly, his heart rate sped up, though he told himself he had nothing to be afraid of. Yuuri made a noise of protest and sat up, too, wrapping his arms around Wolfram. "I'm sorry!" he said. "Please, Wolfram, don't be mad. It's just that you knew all those things..."
"Not from experience," Wolfram said, his face now growing hot in a new kind of uncomfortable.
"Then how did you know what to do?" Yuuri came up to rest his chin on Wolfram's shoulder.
"I... You don't want to know."
"Oh come on, I think I have a right."
Wolfram had to tear himself away from Yuuri's grip and stand up before he could answer, going over to the dresser for his bathrobe. "A few days before the wedding," he said, carefully keeping his back to Yuuri, "my mother sat me down and gave me a... very long lecture."
After a moment of stunned silence, Yuuri said, "You have a very strange relationship with your mother."
Yuuri didn't know the half of it. There had been diagrams. Even worse was that it had been necessary, as it turned out. Wolfram had known the basic idea, of course, but hadn't suspected it could be so complicated.
He put on his robe and turned around, eager to change the subject. But Yuuri's face stopped him, all wounded expression and already-swollen bottom lip caught between his teeth.
"Where are you going?" Yuuri asked quietly.
And Wolfram suddenly realized, as he should have long before, that Yuuri was just as terrified as he was. When he'd clung to Wolfram in desperate need just minutes ago, it hadn't just been out of fear of being left unsatisfied once again, but was real panic coming to surface when he was so naked.
Wolfram felt his expression soften and drift into the sort of smile most people weren't allowed to see. He held out his hands to his husband. "I thought we'd take a bath. Look at you, you're--" He cut himself off. You're covered in your own come, was what he'd been about to say. And it was true, the stuff had dried on both of their stomachs. But Wolfram didn't say things like that. It was someone else's voice who'd supplied those words.
"Wolfram?" Yuuri's voice was scared and close. "Are you okay?"
He blinked and looked back at Yuuri. "I'm fine. I'm just tired, I suppose."
"Then why don't we just go to bed?"
Wolfram laughed. "Like this? It's disgusting." The only reason Wolfram was allowing the dirtied bedspread to remain, in fact, was that it was the royal wedding quilt and they would be sleeping with two layers of clean sheets between them and it.
Yuuri managed to look slightly hurt again. "I don't think so."
"Only because you don't know any better," Wolfram scoffed. "Come on, I'll wash your back."
Yuuri didn't blush at the offer as he'd used to; soon it would be impossible to tease him. Instead, he reached up from where he knelt on the bed to take Wolfram's head in both hands and pull him down into a kiss. "You were the one who said you wanted to make it last as long as possible," he murmured. Wolfram couldn't tell if Yuuri was trying to be seductive, or if he was simply tired. "Let's just stay..."
Wolfram realized he didn't have a choice in the matter. He would have to wait until Yuuri was asleep before he could escape to the bath. So he nodded and let Yuuri slip the robe off and tug him into bed.
* * *
Yuuri woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of Wolfram leaving. He wondered if Wolfram still thought he was... But how could there be anything dirty or disgusting about what they'd just done? It had felt so right-- more than right, like he'd discovered a whole new way of breathing, a new way of being, wrapped around the place inside him where Wolfram came, his whole body still humming, still feeling it. He hardly wanted to move for fear of losing this feeling, let alone wash it away.
He couldn't decide how much it mattered that Wolfram didn't seem to feel the same way. But after a while of lying alone in the dark, after the warmth of Wolfram's body had gone completely from his side of the bed, Yuuri did start to wonder.
It wasn't that he doubted Wolfram. He'd known for a long time now that Wolfram was, and would always be, entirely devoted to him. So where did this pain come from, this fear? Why did it hurt so much that Wolfram wasn't there? The only explanation was that there must be some part of him that still didn't trust Wolfram...
This made Yuuri feel even worse. He'd put Wolfram through years of needless pain, the least he could do was trust him. He imagined the only thing worse than loving someone who didn't seem to love you back would be to love someone who didn't believe it.
He must have fallen asleep at some point, however, because he woke up to daylight and Wolfram, snoring lightly, sprawled out next to him with one arm across Yuuri's chest. The blankets had been kicked to the floor, and Yuuri smiled when he saw that his husband was still naked.
For a while he just looked. Then he thought about the fact that he was looking, and how much he was enjoying it, and before he could stop himself he was wondering where that fit into their friendship, because wanting to be closer to Wolfram and wanting to please him was one thing, but looking was...
But didn't he like to watch Greta sleep, too? It was just because he loved Wolfram so much, liked to see him happy and peaceful like this. It wasn't because he was naked. Yuuri wasn't staring at his friend's body. And all those times over the years he'd wanted to look when they were in the bath together, that had just been curiosity. There was nothing wrong with that. It was normal, something everyone felt but didn't talk about.
And what harm was it, anyway, if he liked the way that Wolfram looked? Everyone thought Wolfram was beautiful. It was simple aesthetics-- he was pleasing to the eye. And if that could be said about his face, why not the rest of him? Anyone would be looking. There was nothing... romantic or sexual about the way Yuuri looked at Wolfram. Even Greta sometimes watched him with the same fascination Yuuri did.
There was no reason Yuuri should be thinking about what Wolfram had said the other night as he fell asleep. This had nothing to do with that. There was no need-- not now, and not ever-- to examine exactly why Yuuri didn't feel guilty at the thought that Wolfram was in love with him.
* * *
Something wet and warm on the side of Wolfram's face. "Wimp," he muttered, "that better be you."
Soft laughter. "Is there someone else who wakes you up? Are you cheating on me, Wolfram?"
Wolfram opened one eye to see Yuuri, already up and dressed-- and finally bathed-- grinning down at him. He had to try very hard not to grin back. "Hmph," he said. "If I was, it wouldn't be with someone who licks. One of you is quite enough." His husband took this as an invitation to lick him again, just barely missing his ear, and once again it wasn't nearly as disgusting as it should have been. "I feared some sort of animal," Wolfram grumbled.
Yuuri laughed again, then nipped his ear and growled. Which was really just unbearably cute. Wolfram lost the battle with his own lips and smiled stupidly. His husband ran a hand through Wolfram's hair and said, "Come on, we're going to Earth today."
"Really?"
"Mmm," Yuuri said affirmatively, nuzzling against his ear. "I find myself oddly refreshed this morning for some reason."
Wolfram laughed, partly because Yuuri's hot breath was tickling him. "Then you'd better not start something you can't finish," he warned, squirming delightedly. "Or you might end up getting all tired out anyways."
All the same, he was a little disappointed when Yuuri obediently drew away and straightened up. "True," he agreed, still smiling a little mischievously. "Especially as I'll need to be as focused as I can-- I'm going to try and go back in time a little so she won't have to wait this long. You know, like how Shinou used to take me back to Earth at almost the same moment that I left. I'll get us there a few days after we dropped her off... instead of a whole week." His expression darkened with guilt.
Wolfram nodded. He hated the thought of Greta just sitting and waiting for them in that foreign world, feeling abandoned and wondering if they'd forgotten about her. After all, she was used to spending hours every day with Wolfram, studying and practicing the skills of a proper Demon princess, and at least seeing Yuuri at mealtimes. Even if they'd been negligent the past few weeks, she was accustomed to being smothered with attention. And not just from her fathers, he reminded himself, but from all sides. There was no Anissina in the other world to fill her head with science and feminism, no Gwendal to secretly spoil her, no servants to fawn over her and make sure she had everything she needed. She hadn't even taken very many books with her, in the end. Anissina's ridiculous novels, all of which Greta had already read, and only a few of the educational books he'd wanted her to take (provided she didn't remove them from her trunk again while he wasn't looking). He would have to remember to bring her more, and maybe set up some requirements for her reading while she was away. Just because he wasn't there didn't mean he couldn't give her assignments. She might complain, but it was better that she have something to do than dwell on what had happened.
* * *
Chapter IV
Chapter III
Chapter II
Chapter I
On to chapter VI