"Love"...but not in a cheesy or poetic vain.
I went to philosophy club last week and discussed what we settle for once we've been jaded. Making choices to sacrifice things like travel for things like financial comfort. Sacrifice is completely necessary unless you have one, untarnished goal in life without anything posing as a runner-up. And, if that's the case, the case is kind of boring anyway.
The teacher who runs this club told us that we'd eventually settle for a lot. We've already settled for friends, for grades, for colleges, etc.
He said something I really didn't expect to hear. He said we'd settle for love, and that kind of freaked me out. I have, however, concluded that it's true. No one finds someone who's perfect. It just seemed so pessimistic for a high school teacher. I would subscribe to Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon had a good take on love and compatibility. If you've never seen it, I recommend.
Ben told me that if he could dedicate a song to me it would be "You'll Be Loved" by Death Cab. That's cute and all, but what the hell does that say about me? That my most obvious and pressing concern to the outside world is my romantic void? Absolutely disheartening. I guess he's seen a lot of shit and I've told him a lot of really intimate things in that field, so maybe it's just him and his knowledge...but the whole focus of love being some ultimate, necessary goal is frightful.
I know that by now I shouldn't be using Britt and I as an example of anything healthy or positive, but if you'll travel with me to a time when he considered shaving and I was considered shy, I'm gonna go ahead and us for a second. We were kinda drunk (him more so) and driving home from a fancy party trying to remember lyrics to 90's songs when he said, "You know...I keep telling myself that I shouldn't like you this much because this is high school and you're a high school girlfriend, but then I think 'but it's Emma!'" It has reigned supreme as the cutest confession. I guess I bring it up because it shows how rigid guidelines are for certain aspects of romance. On that note, he turned out to be right. Here we are now just kind of tripping over our own ignorance, unable to get out of our own way. This past year has been nothing but making mistakes and learning along the way.
It's one of those things that you wish you had more experience in before your time for said experience has come. Like wanting to go back to kindergarten with your current knowledge.
I guess I could call myself scared. Not to a degree that it impedes my overall mood, but enough to use the little mouse guy. As was said in film theory, we have no guarantee that our lives will get better than they are now. No legal or moral net keeps me from dropping out and just sorta...wasting my life by being too indecisive and hung up on sentiment. As of graduation, there is a very real possibility that I'll fuck up and have to pay for my own place and my own classes at occ. There's a very real possibility that I will get too old to be picky anymore, and settle for someone I only kind of love, making high school the most passionate and meaningful years of my life.
So, Ben and Mr. Shaheen, this floundering spew of panic circling romance may or may not have testified to your respective opinions of love's importance. I guess we have to decide for ourselves if it's worth the grief. For me? ...Apparently, it hasn't been worth it since the November before last. However, people like you have me convinced I should reconsider.
...
What's your deal?
emma
The teacher who runs this club told us that we'd eventually settle for a lot. We've already settled for friends, for grades, for colleges, etc.
He said something I really didn't expect to hear. He said we'd settle for love, and that kind of freaked me out. I have, however, concluded that it's true. No one finds someone who's perfect. It just seemed so pessimistic for a high school teacher. I would subscribe to Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon had a good take on love and compatibility. If you've never seen it, I recommend.
Ben told me that if he could dedicate a song to me it would be "You'll Be Loved" by Death Cab. That's cute and all, but what the hell does that say about me? That my most obvious and pressing concern to the outside world is my romantic void? Absolutely disheartening. I guess he's seen a lot of shit and I've told him a lot of really intimate things in that field, so maybe it's just him and his knowledge...but the whole focus of love being some ultimate, necessary goal is frightful.
I know that by now I shouldn't be using Britt and I as an example of anything healthy or positive, but if you'll travel with me to a time when he considered shaving and I was considered shy, I'm gonna go ahead and us for a second. We were kinda drunk (him more so) and driving home from a fancy party trying to remember lyrics to 90's songs when he said, "You know...I keep telling myself that I shouldn't like you this much because this is high school and you're a high school girlfriend, but then I think 'but it's Emma!'" It has reigned supreme as the cutest confession. I guess I bring it up because it shows how rigid guidelines are for certain aspects of romance. On that note, he turned out to be right. Here we are now just kind of tripping over our own ignorance, unable to get out of our own way. This past year has been nothing but making mistakes and learning along the way.
It's one of those things that you wish you had more experience in before your time for said experience has come. Like wanting to go back to kindergarten with your current knowledge.
I guess I could call myself scared. Not to a degree that it impedes my overall mood, but enough to use the little mouse guy. As was said in film theory, we have no guarantee that our lives will get better than they are now. No legal or moral net keeps me from dropping out and just sorta...wasting my life by being too indecisive and hung up on sentiment. As of graduation, there is a very real possibility that I'll fuck up and have to pay for my own place and my own classes at occ. There's a very real possibility that I will get too old to be picky anymore, and settle for someone I only kind of love, making high school the most passionate and meaningful years of my life.
So, Ben and Mr. Shaheen, this floundering spew of panic circling romance may or may not have testified to your respective opinions of love's importance. I guess we have to decide for ourselves if it's worth the grief. For me? ...Apparently, it hasn't been worth it since the November before last. However, people like you have me convinced I should reconsider.
...
What's your deal?
emma