(no subject)
I'm two cups into my coffee break. I'm sitting alone in the cafe from the way. Reading all by myself, turning my cell off just to breathe. And everyone I know just keeps calling me. And I just need a little time.
There's a saying that goes "Everything happens for a reason" and I am a strong believer in such a saying. I know that things will work themselves out in the end; I have enough faith in people and in myself to do that. But it doesn't meant that I make decisions without thinking about the consequences. I was reading in my Ethics textbook about Kant and his moral theories and how he didn't believe people should act based upon consequences, but the more I think about it, the more I think that it is a paradoxical idea. In theory, the idea makes sense. If you think about the consequences, you second guess yourself too much. That much goes without saying. But if you dont' think about the consequences, it makes it easy to lose faith in fate because when you do things and there is a bad result, your hope dwindles just that much more. So really, Kant is a cunt who should just shut the fuck up. That is what I have derived from my Ethics class. See mom? This is what you're paying 48 grand a year for me to learn.
'Cause I'm over-committing myself. I guess this is growing up. I'm sleeping so little these days. I guess this is growing up. I'm feeling things are about to change. I'm guessing this is growing up. Yeah...I'm growing up.
People always say that as time goes on, people change and you change with them. Weather it's to grow closer or further away from people you once thought to be so close is up to you. And since beginning my 18th year and the start of my proverbial journey through the phase in my life called 'college,' I find myself changing as well. Slowly but surely, the sweet little girl that used to smile at everything and stand for anything is disappearing into the background and the girl that was underneath that is coming out to play. I find myself a little bit harsher, a lot more upfront, and much more honest. It makes less people like me, but I guess after years of being this sweet little harmless person with a lot of unexpressed emotion and opinion, I figured the start of my "adult" life is a good a time as any to begin to let that facade fade out. I haven't written in here since I've turned 18 and since then, I've changed. I know I have. I've felt it. I don't know what it is in me that's changed and has made me so much bolder than I used to me. And I don't know what it is in me that is still holding back every piece of dangerous emotion that could ever cross my lips. I still have so much growing up to do. I know I do. I just really hope that I don't fuck up along the way.
There's a saying that goes "Everything happens for a reason" and I am a strong believer in such a saying. I know that things will work themselves out in the end; I have enough faith in people and in myself to do that. But it doesn't meant that I make decisions without thinking about the consequences. I was reading in my Ethics textbook about Kant and his moral theories and how he didn't believe people should act based upon consequences, but the more I think about it, the more I think that it is a paradoxical idea. In theory, the idea makes sense. If you think about the consequences, you second guess yourself too much. That much goes without saying. But if you dont' think about the consequences, it makes it easy to lose faith in fate because when you do things and there is a bad result, your hope dwindles just that much more. So really, Kant is a cunt who should just shut the fuck up. That is what I have derived from my Ethics class. See mom? This is what you're paying 48 grand a year for me to learn.
'Cause I'm over-committing myself. I guess this is growing up. I'm sleeping so little these days. I guess this is growing up. I'm feeling things are about to change. I'm guessing this is growing up. Yeah...I'm growing up.
People always say that as time goes on, people change and you change with them. Weather it's to grow closer or further away from people you once thought to be so close is up to you. And since beginning my 18th year and the start of my proverbial journey through the phase in my life called 'college,' I find myself changing as well. Slowly but surely, the sweet little girl that used to smile at everything and stand for anything is disappearing into the background and the girl that was underneath that is coming out to play. I find myself a little bit harsher, a lot more upfront, and much more honest. It makes less people like me, but I guess after years of being this sweet little harmless person with a lot of unexpressed emotion and opinion, I figured the start of my "adult" life is a good a time as any to begin to let that facade fade out. I haven't written in here since I've turned 18 and since then, I've changed. I know I have. I've felt it. I don't know what it is in me that's changed and has made me so much bolder than I used to me. And I don't know what it is in me that is still holding back every piece of dangerous emotion that could ever cross my lips. I still have so much growing up to do. I know I do. I just really hope that I don't fuck up along the way.