Next Time
Title: Next Time.
Rating: R, for language
Pairing: HanHae
Warnings: Character Death
Summary: Han Geng is sick, and Donghae calls him offering to bring him food and medicine. Han Geng has something he wants to say, but doesn't. But it's okay, He'll tell him next time.
Han Geng was miserable. His throat was killing him, his nose was running nonstop, he couldn’t stop coughing, and he was pretty sure he had a fever. It was bad enough that the management had allowed him to miss that days schedule to stay home and rest. Of course he’d been alone in the dorm for most of the day and he was feeling downright awful.
So it was understandable that when his phone rang he had it open and pressed to his ear before the first ring had even finished.
He opened his mouth to say hello but fell into a coughing fit before he could get it past his lips.
“Hannie? Are you okay?”
Giving a few last coughs, Han Geng takes a few moment s to regain his breath before answering. “I’ll live, Hae.”
Han Geng can practically feel the worry oozing out of the phone as Donghae answers him back. “Are you sure Hannie? You sound like you’re coughing your lung out or something.” a pause. “Your not are you? Do you need to go to the hospital? I could come and get you-”
Han Geng interrupts before Donghae can really work himself up. “I’m not dying Donghae-ah. I’m pretty sure its just a bug that’s going around.”
There’s an audible pout in Donghae’s voice when he answers. “You had better not. I’d miss you more than anyone.”
Han Geng can feel an unexpected warmth welling up in his chest. “More than anyone?”
A flustered squeak on the other line. “Uh… w-well… yeah. You’re one of my best friends Hannie. Of course I‘d really really really miss you if you died. So don‘t okay?”
Han Geng’s heart falls at the words best friend, but he forces himself to not show it in his voice. “You’re one of my best friends too Hae, I’d miss you too.”
“If You died?”
“It doesn’t matter. If I never got to see you again, I’d really really really miss you too.”
Han Geng can hear Donghae’s pleased laugh at that statement.
“But still, Hannie should take better care of himself. Health is very important you know.”
Before Han Geng can say anything he gets interrupted by a sneeze and has to blow his nose.
“You really do sound sick. How about I stop and pick up some medicine on my way home, okay Hannie?”
Han Geng can’t stop himself from replying “And some soup too?”
At the pleading tone of voice this comes out in, Han Geng can feel himself begin to blush. He’s mortified at Donghae’s giggle. He huffs a little but doesn’t say anything else. He throat really hurts and Ryeowook isn‘t coming home until late, and there is no way he’s going to trust the other members cooking when he’s sick.
Donghae’s giggles slow to a stop, and eventually he regains his composure. “So Medicine and soup. Anything else Hannie?”
“No, not really.”
“Okay then. You hang in there until I get back, yeah?”
Han Geng is once again filled with warmth for the man at the other end of the phone. Silence stretches for a few moments before Han Geng makes up his mind.
“Hae-”
“Hannie-”
They both break off. Its Donghae who speaks up next. “Yeah, Geng?
Han Geng opens his mouth but finds he’s lost his nerve. He'd tell him next time. “Ah, its nothing. What were you going to say Hae?”
“Hmmm…. I tell you when I get back.” Han Geng can hear the grin in Donghae’s voice.
“Hae!” Han Geng laughs which sends him into yet another coughing fit.
“Careful! I’m at the store so I’m gonna let you go, okay?”
“Alright. Hae, be careful on your way home okay?”
“Of course Hannie. See you soon. Bye!”
Han Geng hears the phone click. He sighs and whispers into the phone. “Bye Hae.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Han Geng jerks awake to the sound of someone banging on the door. He looks over at his phone to check the time and realizes it has died, and instead looks at the clock and notices its been over an hour since he got off the phone with Donghae. He must have fallen asleep without realizing it.
He slowly gets to his feet and makes his way to the door. Leaning against the wall he opens the door expecting it to be Donghae.
The sight that meets him shocks him.
“Hyukjae?”
Eunhyuk is standing in the doorway bent double and breathing heavily. When he looks up Han Geng can see the tears running down his face. Han Geng feels worry twist inside him and encase his heart. He steps forward unsteadily. “Hyukjae, what’s wrong.”
Eunhyuk looks up at him, eyes wide and scared as he struggles to get words out past his sobbing. “The c-car! I-it…”
Han Geng can feel dread settle in stomach. No, not again. “Hyukjae.” Han Geng struggles to keep his voice calm so as not to alarm his dongsaeng. “What happened? Who?”
“H-hyung.. D-donghae.. He- the car- D-donghae!”
Han Geng can’t breathe. Horror washing through him. No. No, no, no, no! The world spins and he stumbles and crashes to the ground.
“H-hyung!”
Han Geng can faintly feel arms wrapping around him, a body pressing against him tightly, tears dripping down to land on his skin, but he just stares ahead blankly ahead, only one thought running through his head. Not Donghae. Please, please, not Donghae.
Slowly the sound of Eunhyuk’s sobs break through his stupor and Han Geng forces himself to whisper, “I-is he…”
Eunhyuk sits back and looks Han Geng in the face, tears still running down. “N-no, He was still alive when the doctors got there, but Leeteuk told me they said it doesn’t look good.”
Han Geng can feel the tears tracing his cheeks to drip off of his chin and he struggles to his feet. “Where is he?”
“Hyung?”
“Where’s “ his voice breaks “Donghae? What hospital?”
“Hyung! You’re sick!”
Han Geng whispers “I need to see him." and turns to make his way to the elevator swaying slightly on his feet. He can feel himself breaking, bits and pieces falling away with every footstep, every shuddering breath he takes. He can’t really bring himself to care.
Right before he reaches the elevator he stumbles, and he is only saved from hitting the floor by a pair of arms wrapping around him from behind. The arms help steady him, and Han Geng looks to see Eunhyuk, a fierce determination glinting behind the overwhelming grief in his eyes. “Let’s go hyung. Donghae needs us.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Han Geng!”
When he and Eunhyuk reach the waiting room that contains the rest of the members, Han Geng is greeted by tearful faces, and he can feel his heart clench in his chest. He searches the room for one person in particular and finds him leaning against a wall, arms wrapped protetively around himself, hands clutching desperately at his shirt.
Han Geng shakes free of Eunhyuk and quickly stumbles over to the man. The man looks up in alarm and quickly crosses the room to grab hold of Han Geng’s arm and guides him over to an empty chair.
“Leeteuk. How is he?”
Leeteuk stills from where he had been fussing about Han Geng, and his breath catches. “No news, yet, Geng. But Donghae’s strong. There’s no way he’d leave us like this. He’ll pull through.”
When Leeteuk moves to pull away, Han Geng moves him into the seat next to him. Han Geng’s gaze is focused solely on the door in front of him, but his hand searches around until it finds Leeteuk’s and holds tightly.
All Han Geng can see is Donghae, laughing, smiling, dancing, and can feel his heart die little bye little, every moment that goes by. If Donghae doesn’t make it- he cuts the thought off ruthlessly. Donghae will live. He has to. Because if Donghae is gone, where does that leave Han Geng? Han Geng draws his knees up to his chest protectively, and is silent.
Minutes tick by like hours, hours like days, and it is an eternity before the doctors exit the operating room, blood splattered and weary.
Han Geng can see the slumped shoulders, the sympathy in their eyes, he knows. He can feel tears falling from his eyes anew but otherwise makes no move other than to grip Leeteuk’s hand even tighter, as the doctor approaches Leeteuk.
Leeteuk stands from his seat but doesn’t let go of Han Geng’s hand.
“How is he?”
The doctor bows his head and says “I’m sorry, but there was just too much damage. We tried our best but there was nothing we could do.”
There is a moment of silence in the room, before everyone reacts. Ryeowook and Eunhyuk break out into sobs once again, others, Henry, Sungmin, Zhou Mi, Yehsung, join them, clinging to whoever is closest. Kyuhyun and Kibum both have armfuls of crying boys, struggling to stay strong for their hyungs as tears trickles down their cheeks.
Leeteuk crumples and sits heavily in the seat behind him, head bowed as if the weight of the world rests on his shoulders, which shake with silent sobs.
Heechul starts cursing, tears flying as he spins on his heel furiously to slas his hand against the wall. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, Fucking shit hell! Damn it!”
Kangin too slams a fist into the wall, tears running down his face like the blood dripping from his hand. Siwon is muttering prayers under his breath, rocking back and forth in his seat slightly, tears dripping to land glistening on the bible held tightly in his hands. Shindong leans forward and buries his face in his hands, muffled cries leaking through his fingers.
And Han Geng, Han Geng is lost. He stares blankly ahead, tears coming to a stop as the news becomes real. Donghae’s gone. Gone forever. Never again would they dance together until they collapsed into a laughing heap. Never again would Donghae crawl into his bed in the middle of the night after a nightmare. Never again would Donghae pester him in the kitchen, begging him to teach him how to cook. Han Geng had always turned him down, because he had never had the time, saying next time, next time. But next time wasn’t coming. There was so much he was going to never get to do, never get to see again. He finds himself wishing he had done so much different.
Han Geng completely tunes out the room around him not even shifting his gaze, eyes wide and unseeing, until Leeteuk places a box in his hand, and closes his fingers about it.
Leeteuk swallows hard, before he speaks. “T-they say we can, go in and s-say” Leeteuk’s voice catches, “ say…… goodbye.” he gestures to the box in Han Geng’s hands. “They found that in the car with him. It has your name on it.”
Han Geng looks down and sure enough, written on the top in Donghae’s childish scrawl, is his name, painstakingly written out in Chinese characters.
Han Geng numbly gets to his feet and slowly makes his way to the room where Donghae lays, the box clutched tightly to his chest.
When he enters the room his sees Donghae laying on the table, a white sheet drawn up to his chest. The room is cold, but that isn’t the reason he shakes as he approaches the body on the table. He takes a seat in the chair placed next to him.
Donghae’s hair fans out around him on the table and he appears almost ethereal under the bright lights. Almost like the angels that Han Geng has never believed in. but now, he finds himself praying, for the first time in his life, that whatever heaven there was that Donghae would find it. Because if it existed, Donghae was the one person in the world who deserved to be there.
Han Geng reaches out a trembling hand to run his fingers through Donghae’s hair, down to trace the contours of his face. Han Geng flinches at the icy coldness of Donghae’s skin, but can’t bear to pull away. He looks desperately at Donghae, dark eyes wide and lost, struggling to commit every feature to his memory. Looking at Donghae’s face, peaceful in death, grief courses through his body, warring with every other emotion he’s feeling but can’t express. When he can no longer bare to look at the still figure on the bed, he rises and quickly retreats from the room, his face still blank, and eyes dry.
He returns to the room where the other members are waiting, and sits back down in his seat. He turns to look at the box sitting cradled in his lap.
He gingerly opens it and pulls out the items contained within one by one. First is a small bag containing medicine and a thermos of soup from his favourite restaurant. A broken smile crosses his face as he remembers telling Donghae once, that it was his favourite. He can’t believe he remembered. He have to bring Donghae- Han Geng chokes on the lump in his throat.
He wouldn’t be bringing Donghae anywhere.
Gathering himself once again, Han Geng returns to the box. Nestled underneath the soup and medicine was a letter and a jewelry box.
Han Geng pulls out and almost drops the small box. He flips open the lid, and feels tears gathering in his eyes. The silver necklace contains a charm of a Koi fish and dragon, intertwined and rising towards the sky. He Pulls out the necklace with shaking hands and puts it on, completely ignoring the eyes of everyone else in the room on him, so focused on the box. He's alone, alone with out him.
On autopilot Han Geng pulls out and unfolds the letter.
Hey Hannie!
Today’s the day. I’m too nervous to tell you this in person, so I decided to write you a letter. Its kinda cheezy I know but I was too scared to tell you face to face.
Han Geng, you know you’ve been my best friend for past five years right?
Is there anyway that maybe you’d want to be my lover for the next fifty?
Oh god! That was so lame. I’m sorry Hannie.
Still, I think I’ll leave it so you can see what a hopeless romantic you turn me into.
What I’m trying to say is, Hannie,
I love you.
By the end of the letter, tears are raining from Han Geng’s eyes, sobs breaking free from his throat for the first time that night. He tries to stand but everything spins and goes black
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Han Geng stands, Leeteuk on one side, Siwon on the other as he watches his heart get buried shovelful by shovelful. The never ending tears that had been his constant companion this past week are once again gracing him with their presence.
Soon enough, everyone has paid their respects and left, leaving only the super junior members at the grave. One by one they all go up to grave say something to the boy, man, who had changed them all for the better. The part of them that would forever be missing now. That empty spot on stage when they performed, the extra bed in the dorms, the leftover plate in the cabinet.
The lovable dongsaeng who had truly loved them all. The hyung who’s love of life had been an inspiration. The excitable dancer, their co-conspirator in mischief. An integral part of Super Junior.
Finally Han Geng was the only one left to speak. He slowly makes his way to grave, and kneels in front of it. Being there was all too much, emotions tumbling and warring with each other. Han Geng clutches tightly at the necklace hanging around his neck. He struggles to find words to say. Nothing seems to express how much this man had meant to him. He turns through phrase after phrase for what seems like hours, before the perfect one occurs to him.
In the first words he’s spoken since Donghae‘s death, Han Geng finally give voice to the words in his heart that he had been too scared to say on the phone that night.
“Wo Ai Ni.”
Ahhh.... Just something I cooked up while obsessively listening to Kevin and alexander's finally. Kinda inspired by an entry on GMH . something to put up while I'm working on the next chapter of moon struck. don't worry, I AM working on it hahaha~
Rating: R, for language
Pairing: HanHae
Warnings: Character Death
Summary: Han Geng is sick, and Donghae calls him offering to bring him food and medicine. Han Geng has something he wants to say, but doesn't. But it's okay, He'll tell him next time.
Han Geng was miserable. His throat was killing him, his nose was running nonstop, he couldn’t stop coughing, and he was pretty sure he had a fever. It was bad enough that the management had allowed him to miss that days schedule to stay home and rest. Of course he’d been alone in the dorm for most of the day and he was feeling downright awful.
So it was understandable that when his phone rang he had it open and pressed to his ear before the first ring had even finished.
He opened his mouth to say hello but fell into a coughing fit before he could get it past his lips.
“Hannie? Are you okay?”
Giving a few last coughs, Han Geng takes a few moment s to regain his breath before answering. “I’ll live, Hae.”
Han Geng can practically feel the worry oozing out of the phone as Donghae answers him back. “Are you sure Hannie? You sound like you’re coughing your lung out or something.” a pause. “Your not are you? Do you need to go to the hospital? I could come and get you-”
Han Geng interrupts before Donghae can really work himself up. “I’m not dying Donghae-ah. I’m pretty sure its just a bug that’s going around.”
There’s an audible pout in Donghae’s voice when he answers. “You had better not. I’d miss you more than anyone.”
Han Geng can feel an unexpected warmth welling up in his chest. “More than anyone?”
A flustered squeak on the other line. “Uh… w-well… yeah. You’re one of my best friends Hannie. Of course I‘d really really really miss you if you died. So don‘t okay?”
Han Geng’s heart falls at the words best friend, but he forces himself to not show it in his voice. “You’re one of my best friends too Hae, I’d miss you too.”
“If You died?”
“It doesn’t matter. If I never got to see you again, I’d really really really miss you too.”
Han Geng can hear Donghae’s pleased laugh at that statement.
“But still, Hannie should take better care of himself. Health is very important you know.”
Before Han Geng can say anything he gets interrupted by a sneeze and has to blow his nose.
“You really do sound sick. How about I stop and pick up some medicine on my way home, okay Hannie?”
Han Geng can’t stop himself from replying “And some soup too?”
At the pleading tone of voice this comes out in, Han Geng can feel himself begin to blush. He’s mortified at Donghae’s giggle. He huffs a little but doesn’t say anything else. He throat really hurts and Ryeowook isn‘t coming home until late, and there is no way he’s going to trust the other members cooking when he’s sick.
Donghae’s giggles slow to a stop, and eventually he regains his composure. “So Medicine and soup. Anything else Hannie?”
“No, not really.”
“Okay then. You hang in there until I get back, yeah?”
Han Geng is once again filled with warmth for the man at the other end of the phone. Silence stretches for a few moments before Han Geng makes up his mind.
“Hae-”
“Hannie-”
They both break off. Its Donghae who speaks up next. “Yeah, Geng?
Han Geng opens his mouth but finds he’s lost his nerve. He'd tell him next time. “Ah, its nothing. What were you going to say Hae?”
“Hmmm…. I tell you when I get back.” Han Geng can hear the grin in Donghae’s voice.
“Hae!” Han Geng laughs which sends him into yet another coughing fit.
“Careful! I’m at the store so I’m gonna let you go, okay?”
“Alright. Hae, be careful on your way home okay?”
“Of course Hannie. See you soon. Bye!”
Han Geng hears the phone click. He sighs and whispers into the phone. “Bye Hae.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Han Geng jerks awake to the sound of someone banging on the door. He looks over at his phone to check the time and realizes it has died, and instead looks at the clock and notices its been over an hour since he got off the phone with Donghae. He must have fallen asleep without realizing it.
He slowly gets to his feet and makes his way to the door. Leaning against the wall he opens the door expecting it to be Donghae.
The sight that meets him shocks him.
“Hyukjae?”
Eunhyuk is standing in the doorway bent double and breathing heavily. When he looks up Han Geng can see the tears running down his face. Han Geng feels worry twist inside him and encase his heart. He steps forward unsteadily. “Hyukjae, what’s wrong.”
Eunhyuk looks up at him, eyes wide and scared as he struggles to get words out past his sobbing. “The c-car! I-it…”
Han Geng can feel dread settle in stomach. No, not again. “Hyukjae.” Han Geng struggles to keep his voice calm so as not to alarm his dongsaeng. “What happened? Who?”
“H-hyung.. D-donghae.. He- the car- D-donghae!”
Han Geng can’t breathe. Horror washing through him. No. No, no, no, no! The world spins and he stumbles and crashes to the ground.
“H-hyung!”
Han Geng can faintly feel arms wrapping around him, a body pressing against him tightly, tears dripping down to land on his skin, but he just stares ahead blankly ahead, only one thought running through his head. Not Donghae. Please, please, not Donghae.
Slowly the sound of Eunhyuk’s sobs break through his stupor and Han Geng forces himself to whisper, “I-is he…”
Eunhyuk sits back and looks Han Geng in the face, tears still running down. “N-no, He was still alive when the doctors got there, but Leeteuk told me they said it doesn’t look good.”
Han Geng can feel the tears tracing his cheeks to drip off of his chin and he struggles to his feet. “Where is he?”
“Hyung?”
“Where’s “ his voice breaks “Donghae? What hospital?”
“Hyung! You’re sick!”
Han Geng whispers “I need to see him." and turns to make his way to the elevator swaying slightly on his feet. He can feel himself breaking, bits and pieces falling away with every footstep, every shuddering breath he takes. He can’t really bring himself to care.
Right before he reaches the elevator he stumbles, and he is only saved from hitting the floor by a pair of arms wrapping around him from behind. The arms help steady him, and Han Geng looks to see Eunhyuk, a fierce determination glinting behind the overwhelming grief in his eyes. “Let’s go hyung. Donghae needs us.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Han Geng!”
When he and Eunhyuk reach the waiting room that contains the rest of the members, Han Geng is greeted by tearful faces, and he can feel his heart clench in his chest. He searches the room for one person in particular and finds him leaning against a wall, arms wrapped protetively around himself, hands clutching desperately at his shirt.
Han Geng shakes free of Eunhyuk and quickly stumbles over to the man. The man looks up in alarm and quickly crosses the room to grab hold of Han Geng’s arm and guides him over to an empty chair.
“Leeteuk. How is he?”
Leeteuk stills from where he had been fussing about Han Geng, and his breath catches. “No news, yet, Geng. But Donghae’s strong. There’s no way he’d leave us like this. He’ll pull through.”
When Leeteuk moves to pull away, Han Geng moves him into the seat next to him. Han Geng’s gaze is focused solely on the door in front of him, but his hand searches around until it finds Leeteuk’s and holds tightly.
All Han Geng can see is Donghae, laughing, smiling, dancing, and can feel his heart die little bye little, every moment that goes by. If Donghae doesn’t make it- he cuts the thought off ruthlessly. Donghae will live. He has to. Because if Donghae is gone, where does that leave Han Geng? Han Geng draws his knees up to his chest protectively, and is silent.
Minutes tick by like hours, hours like days, and it is an eternity before the doctors exit the operating room, blood splattered and weary.
Han Geng can see the slumped shoulders, the sympathy in their eyes, he knows. He can feel tears falling from his eyes anew but otherwise makes no move other than to grip Leeteuk’s hand even tighter, as the doctor approaches Leeteuk.
Leeteuk stands from his seat but doesn’t let go of Han Geng’s hand.
“How is he?”
The doctor bows his head and says “I’m sorry, but there was just too much damage. We tried our best but there was nothing we could do.”
There is a moment of silence in the room, before everyone reacts. Ryeowook and Eunhyuk break out into sobs once again, others, Henry, Sungmin, Zhou Mi, Yehsung, join them, clinging to whoever is closest. Kyuhyun and Kibum both have armfuls of crying boys, struggling to stay strong for their hyungs as tears trickles down their cheeks.
Leeteuk crumples and sits heavily in the seat behind him, head bowed as if the weight of the world rests on his shoulders, which shake with silent sobs.
Heechul starts cursing, tears flying as he spins on his heel furiously to slas his hand against the wall. “Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, Fucking shit hell! Damn it!”
Kangin too slams a fist into the wall, tears running down his face like the blood dripping from his hand. Siwon is muttering prayers under his breath, rocking back and forth in his seat slightly, tears dripping to land glistening on the bible held tightly in his hands. Shindong leans forward and buries his face in his hands, muffled cries leaking through his fingers.
And Han Geng, Han Geng is lost. He stares blankly ahead, tears coming to a stop as the news becomes real. Donghae’s gone. Gone forever. Never again would they dance together until they collapsed into a laughing heap. Never again would Donghae crawl into his bed in the middle of the night after a nightmare. Never again would Donghae pester him in the kitchen, begging him to teach him how to cook. Han Geng had always turned him down, because he had never had the time, saying next time, next time. But next time wasn’t coming. There was so much he was going to never get to do, never get to see again. He finds himself wishing he had done so much different.
Han Geng completely tunes out the room around him not even shifting his gaze, eyes wide and unseeing, until Leeteuk places a box in his hand, and closes his fingers about it.
Leeteuk swallows hard, before he speaks. “T-they say we can, go in and s-say” Leeteuk’s voice catches, “ say…… goodbye.” he gestures to the box in Han Geng’s hands. “They found that in the car with him. It has your name on it.”
Han Geng looks down and sure enough, written on the top in Donghae’s childish scrawl, is his name, painstakingly written out in Chinese characters.
Han Geng numbly gets to his feet and slowly makes his way to the room where Donghae lays, the box clutched tightly to his chest.
When he enters the room his sees Donghae laying on the table, a white sheet drawn up to his chest. The room is cold, but that isn’t the reason he shakes as he approaches the body on the table. He takes a seat in the chair placed next to him.
Donghae’s hair fans out around him on the table and he appears almost ethereal under the bright lights. Almost like the angels that Han Geng has never believed in. but now, he finds himself praying, for the first time in his life, that whatever heaven there was that Donghae would find it. Because if it existed, Donghae was the one person in the world who deserved to be there.
Han Geng reaches out a trembling hand to run his fingers through Donghae’s hair, down to trace the contours of his face. Han Geng flinches at the icy coldness of Donghae’s skin, but can’t bear to pull away. He looks desperately at Donghae, dark eyes wide and lost, struggling to commit every feature to his memory. Looking at Donghae’s face, peaceful in death, grief courses through his body, warring with every other emotion he’s feeling but can’t express. When he can no longer bare to look at the still figure on the bed, he rises and quickly retreats from the room, his face still blank, and eyes dry.
He returns to the room where the other members are waiting, and sits back down in his seat. He turns to look at the box sitting cradled in his lap.
He gingerly opens it and pulls out the items contained within one by one. First is a small bag containing medicine and a thermos of soup from his favourite restaurant. A broken smile crosses his face as he remembers telling Donghae once, that it was his favourite. He can’t believe he remembered. He have to bring Donghae- Han Geng chokes on the lump in his throat.
He wouldn’t be bringing Donghae anywhere.
Gathering himself once again, Han Geng returns to the box. Nestled underneath the soup and medicine was a letter and a jewelry box.
Han Geng pulls out and almost drops the small box. He flips open the lid, and feels tears gathering in his eyes. The silver necklace contains a charm of a Koi fish and dragon, intertwined and rising towards the sky. He Pulls out the necklace with shaking hands and puts it on, completely ignoring the eyes of everyone else in the room on him, so focused on the box. He's alone, alone with out him.
On autopilot Han Geng pulls out and unfolds the letter.
Hey Hannie!
Today’s the day. I’m too nervous to tell you this in person, so I decided to write you a letter. Its kinda cheezy I know but I was too scared to tell you face to face.
Han Geng, you know you’ve been my best friend for past five years right?
Is there anyway that maybe you’d want to be my lover for the next fifty?
Oh god! That was so lame. I’m sorry Hannie.
Still, I think I’ll leave it so you can see what a hopeless romantic you turn me into.
What I’m trying to say is, Hannie,
I love you.
By the end of the letter, tears are raining from Han Geng’s eyes, sobs breaking free from his throat for the first time that night. He tries to stand but everything spins and goes black
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Han Geng stands, Leeteuk on one side, Siwon on the other as he watches his heart get buried shovelful by shovelful. The never ending tears that had been his constant companion this past week are once again gracing him with their presence.
Soon enough, everyone has paid their respects and left, leaving only the super junior members at the grave. One by one they all go up to grave say something to the boy, man, who had changed them all for the better. The part of them that would forever be missing now. That empty spot on stage when they performed, the extra bed in the dorms, the leftover plate in the cabinet.
The lovable dongsaeng who had truly loved them all. The hyung who’s love of life had been an inspiration. The excitable dancer, their co-conspirator in mischief. An integral part of Super Junior.
Finally Han Geng was the only one left to speak. He slowly makes his way to grave, and kneels in front of it. Being there was all too much, emotions tumbling and warring with each other. Han Geng clutches tightly at the necklace hanging around his neck. He struggles to find words to say. Nothing seems to express how much this man had meant to him. He turns through phrase after phrase for what seems like hours, before the perfect one occurs to him.
In the first words he’s spoken since Donghae‘s death, Han Geng finally give voice to the words in his heart that he had been too scared to say on the phone that night.
“Wo Ai Ni.”
Ahhh.... Just something I cooked up while obsessively listening to Kevin and alexander's finally. Kinda inspired by an entry on GMH . something to put up while I'm working on the next chapter of moon struck. don't worry, I AM working on it hahaha~