HSP 2
When I became school age, I developed ear infections which further enhanced my desire to withdraw into myself. I was overwhelmed with the world of school. Just the number of people and the massive energy within the place was overwhelming. During this time and some time before, I developed many false beliefs about myself. This was not a HSP but a characteristic of being human. I have yet to meet someone who got through life without one or two destructive beliefs. I felt I wasn't as good as other people, that I did not belong, etc. So my decision about my behavior was to withdraw. At times that I went to my mother to explain my feelings if someone was mean to me she would handle it by making fun of them to me. For instance, "Well Sally has a big nose. You ought to ask her if that's her nose or if she's eating a banana." I laughed about this but it wasn't in my nature to carry this out. However, what it did was to create a belief that the way to feel better is to make the other person out to be a monster in my mind. This isn't different than the rest of our culture but it is far from truth. I did not learn any interpersonal effectiveness tools to cope with this in reality. My mother herself uses a false humor to cover up negative emotions and then every once in a while 'blows a gasket' like a crazy lady so I received very conflicting messages about emotions. The healthy solution when I feel like my feelings are hurt is to go to the person who I have been hurt by and attempt to find a solution. If this person is not a friend or anyone who I have to interact with then I need to figure out what it is within myself that was triggered and why. Because it's important to remember that I can't change anyone else but myself. I then have a choice as to whether I want to continue to live my life in a victim mentality or if I would prefer to heal myself. As a kid, I didn't have these tools. Today I do.
Years ago, around the time that my grandfather passed away; I found my power animal (or he made himself known to me) is an owl. Owl medicine is very focused upon truth. Owl people are generally very introspective and also able to see things within others. This makes other people uncomfortable. In fact, many people feel uncomfortable around owl people anyway. I have come to understand that this is because they feel as if their boundaries have been crossed. As an 'owl practitioner in training' (lol... my own term), I have to be very careful with my energy. This requires me to be very conscious... to move with intention, even movements that are not seen with the eye but only felt energetically. It requires me to stay back (energetically) until there is a reason for me to move in. The owls feathers are silent but his talons and beak are not! I have to be careful with my words and always compassionate. I have to be clear about my own areas that need healing and clearing because if I am not then I can be confused about what I see in others... it can be a reflection of my own wounds.... my own 'untruths'.... my own limiting beliefs. It has crossed my mind many times; are all people who use owl medicine HSP?
More later.
Years ago, around the time that my grandfather passed away; I found my power animal (or he made himself known to me) is an owl. Owl medicine is very focused upon truth. Owl people are generally very introspective and also able to see things within others. This makes other people uncomfortable. In fact, many people feel uncomfortable around owl people anyway. I have come to understand that this is because they feel as if their boundaries have been crossed. As an 'owl practitioner in training' (lol... my own term), I have to be very careful with my energy. This requires me to be very conscious... to move with intention, even movements that are not seen with the eye but only felt energetically. It requires me to stay back (energetically) until there is a reason for me to move in. The owls feathers are silent but his talons and beak are not! I have to be careful with my words and always compassionate. I have to be clear about my own areas that need healing and clearing because if I am not then I can be confused about what I see in others... it can be a reflection of my own wounds.... my own 'untruths'.... my own limiting beliefs. It has crossed my mind many times; are all people who use owl medicine HSP?
More later.