Numerology: some new discoveries of things I already knew
I've done astrology charts. I've done tarot for years. But I tend to strip the mysticism out of all of these systems and mold them for my own purposes. If for no other reason, astrology serves me as just a point of reference and tarot gives me ready access to my subconscious (kind of a guided meditation). For some reason I never really got around to numerology (probably because numbers scare me, or rather, I just don't get along with them and I always felt it was very subjective).
The place where I get my daily horoscope (mostly for shits and giggles, given that it's about as accurate as a fortune cookie) had a "free sample numerology report" deal the other day, and I did it. Well, their sample report wasn't amazingly awesome or utterly revealing in any way. But the things that were in the report they wanted you to pay for were intriguing. They gave me the numbers, but not the descriptions about what they were all about. So, I decided to do some poking.
I found a site with the very same system they used for deriving their information and he offers it up for free (though prods you on every page to purchase his software for more). Several things are hitting home and I'm feeling some restructuring happening. Of particular interest was when I calculated the "Personal Year Cycle" number for 2010 (which for me is 6). One line read: "May is an emotional month filled with the promise and the stress of imminent changes. June is a breakthrough and a relief." Since May just got finished shitting me out in a pile of pitiful goo, I perked up a little when I read this. Or maybe it was just because I finally got all that yellow stuff out of my head*.
And then, THEN! while reading up on my "Heart's Desire Number**" (which is 8, for those curious), I read this big fat statement of truthiness:
When you are uninvolved or unoccupied with a worthwhile task, you can become deeply despondent, depressed, and frustrated. You are the perfect example of the old cliché, "Idle hands are the devils workshop." Without a challenge, you can lose balance in life and become selfish, cruel, and even self-destructive. Disappointments become shattering, causing terrible consequences in self-image and self-love.
Duh! My aimlessness, disorganization, and utter lack of motivation is causing my depression, not the other way around. It could be said that my life, or at least quality of life, depends on organization. When I cease to care and start to drift, it can be liberating at first, but when the dust settles, this is where I find myself. It's not like I don't have projects to focus on, I just need to do the grunt work first to get myself reorganized. Then I'll automatically be in a frame of mind to accomplish things. I hate to admit it sometimes, but I require structure. I resent routine, but I need it. Organized chaos. Balance.
Maybe with some new goals, I can create the June (and beyond) that my numerology report promises. I mean, "September brings advancement, October self- reflection and readjustments, and December brings a sense of completion and fulfillment." Sounds pretty good, right? Well, I have to make it happen or it's still going to be "[month] shit me out", again and again.
*=(seriously, how much mucus can one human head hold!? took almost if not every bit of 2 quarts of saline solution injected up my nose to finally get it to run clear... and yes, I realize how gross that is, you didn't have to see it!).
**=(see, this is why I have a hard time taking this shit seriously, they have to give them all cheesy new age names)
The place where I get my daily horoscope (mostly for shits and giggles, given that it's about as accurate as a fortune cookie) had a "free sample numerology report" deal the other day, and I did it. Well, their sample report wasn't amazingly awesome or utterly revealing in any way. But the things that were in the report they wanted you to pay for were intriguing. They gave me the numbers, but not the descriptions about what they were all about. So, I decided to do some poking.
I found a site with the very same system they used for deriving their information and he offers it up for free (though prods you on every page to purchase his software for more). Several things are hitting home and I'm feeling some restructuring happening. Of particular interest was when I calculated the "Personal Year Cycle" number for 2010 (which for me is 6). One line read: "May is an emotional month filled with the promise and the stress of imminent changes. June is a breakthrough and a relief." Since May just got finished shitting me out in a pile of pitiful goo, I perked up a little when I read this. Or maybe it was just because I finally got all that yellow stuff out of my head*.
And then, THEN! while reading up on my "Heart's Desire Number**" (which is 8, for those curious), I read this big fat statement of truthiness:
When you are uninvolved or unoccupied with a worthwhile task, you can become deeply despondent, depressed, and frustrated. You are the perfect example of the old cliché, "Idle hands are the devils workshop." Without a challenge, you can lose balance in life and become selfish, cruel, and even self-destructive. Disappointments become shattering, causing terrible consequences in self-image and self-love.
Duh! My aimlessness, disorganization, and utter lack of motivation is causing my depression, not the other way around. It could be said that my life, or at least quality of life, depends on organization. When I cease to care and start to drift, it can be liberating at first, but when the dust settles, this is where I find myself. It's not like I don't have projects to focus on, I just need to do the grunt work first to get myself reorganized. Then I'll automatically be in a frame of mind to accomplish things. I hate to admit it sometimes, but I require structure. I resent routine, but I need it. Organized chaos. Balance.
Maybe with some new goals, I can create the June (and beyond) that my numerology report promises. I mean, "September brings advancement, October self- reflection and readjustments, and December brings a sense of completion and fulfillment." Sounds pretty good, right? Well, I have to make it happen or it's still going to be "[month] shit me out", again and again.
*=(seriously, how much mucus can one human head hold!? took almost if not every bit of 2 quarts of saline solution injected up my nose to finally get it to run clear... and yes, I realize how gross that is, you didn't have to see it!).
**=(see, this is why I have a hard time taking this shit seriously, they have to give them all cheesy new age names)