A [belated] Memorial Day memorial: Not all wars are fought on battlefields.
When I answered the phone Friday morning, I immediately knew something devastating was happening from the tone in my brother's voice. His pause as he confirmed something was majorly wrong sent my head spinning through possibilities: one of his kids in danger, my grandmother, my stepmother, my dad...
"Corina shot herself in the chest. She asked Jasmine to do it and when she wouldn't she turned the gun on herself."
I couldn't process it, not in the slightest. There was some discussion about our friend Holly's proximity to where it happened (in Las Cruces, NM, Holly lives in nearby Alamogordo), more discussion about her recent tour of duty in Kuwait and the toll that obviously took on her. Then, somehow, the conversation shifted to Jason's work at the Home Depot greenhouse and we chatted away about plants and pests and remedies for gardeners. I feel bad that in my inability to react, I was unable to give comfort to my brother who had just lost a very near and dear friend; someone he loved more than she probably ever knew.
He had to get off the phone eventually to get to work. I hopped online to see my Facebook news feed was peppered with friends who were aching at the loss of a strong, beautiful, brilliant woman and the unimaginable horror her 9-year-old daughter must be experiencing having witnessed such a dramatic breakdown and the resulting tragedy.
I read an article about it which someone had linked and that was what did me in. I broke down. Given the events of the past week and a half, it felt kind of good to finally release some of that. But I still grieved and I still couldn't fully wrap my head around it. Still can't, really.
We were never close. She was more a friend of my brother's and so I mostly only knew her through other people. I had met her sweet, smart daughter several years ago (maybe when she was 5 or 6). I knew her as Mikle Beaudette's lovely girlfriend when he was murdered and she came through that with admirable strength and determination when most teenage girls would have crumbled. I can only imagine the sort of soldier she was. She had a bright future that was snuffed out by an unpredictable bout with PTSD. I have no doubt that was what caused this episode that sounded very much like a panic attack.
This is the price that our soldiers pay when they volunteer to fight for our freedoms. Some of them pay with their lives in battle. Others pay with their lives in another way. Many if not all are forever altered by their service in war. Their minds are forever haunted. This is of course the most extreme of cases, but there have been too many who have taken their own lives once they're home and find they can not cope with the mental aftermath. We can't ignore it and we must support our troops even after they're home.
Jason has a very haunting message from her. The time stamp is inaccurate so he has no idea when the call was made, but the distorted, quiet message simply says, "help." I'm sure a million, "if only I had answered..." scenarios have crossed his mind. But even if he had, who's to say it would have changed anything for her. Several have said this and I fully agree: the Corina we all knew and loved had departed long before she turned a gun on herself. Her spirit was not in that car when she asked her daughter to end her life.
I know news stories disappear into archives (one of them already has), so I'm putting this here for posterity.
From The Las Cruces Sun-News 5/27/2010:
Police ID woman who shot, killed self while driving on I-10
LAS CRUCES - It was like the driver had hit the brakes for an animal darting across the road, Dustin Stober said.
Except the road was the 75 mph passing lane of Interstate 10. And there was a little girl jumping out of the passenger seat of the black Nissan, waving her hands and screaming that her mother had been shot.
Naval Petty Officer 2nd Class Stober knew something was wrong.
"I've never had this happen before," said Stober, 30, of Lancaster, Calif., who was driving to Dallas with his family. "I'd seen the wound before. I've lost officers. I lost a pilot. I've witnessed friends die."
Corina Dominguez, 33, of Baldwin Park, Calif., had shot herself in the chest Thursday morning - after a failed attempt to get her 9-year-old daughter to kill her, said New Mexico State Police Lt. Roman Jimenez.
Sgt. Dominguez, a medic with the Army Reserve's 437th Ground Ambulance Company, was driving with her daughter and their two dogs when she began to breathe heavily - possibly from an asthma or emphysema attack - and handed her daughter a 9 mm handgun, Jimenez said.
"She told her to shoot her. And she wouldn't," said Jimenez. "The daughter said she has had these kinds of attacks before, but she'd never been suicidal."
After firing the shot, the car rolled to a stop, just slightly in the paved left shoulder of the road, in a construction zone about 25 miles west of Las Cruces. Stober, a Naval contractor who trained in emergency response with the Auxiliary Security Force, immediately pulled in front of Dominguez's car in a blocking maneuver and told his wife to call 911.
Deborah Stober, 25, a daycare worker who had the couple's two sons, ages 9 and 7, in the back seat, rushed the little girl to her car.
Inside the black Nissan, Dominguez, suffering from a massive chest wound, struggled to breathe. Her pulse and breathing became slow.
"I knew what to do in this situation," Stober said. "And I couldn't do anything."
Stober put the car - still in drive - in park and turned it off. He retrieved the handgun from the floor in front of the woman, unloaded it and placed it on the side of the road. He laid the seat back and covered her with a blanket one of the construction workers provided.
"I hope the daughter's OK," he said.
Dominguez' company had returned this year from deployment in Kuwait, where she taught combat lifesaver classes to fellow soldiers, according to an Army Reserve news release about her company's homecoming. In the release, Dominguez said she was planning to begin medical school and looking forward to accompanying her daughter to softball.
Dominguez' aunt, Linda Robinson, of Rochester, N.Y., said mother and daughter were driving to Oklahoma City, Okla., to see Dominguez's father - and she couldn't fathom Thursday's turn of events.
"Her only child, love of her life," Robinson said. "I don't know why she would do that in front of her only child, who she loved so much and missed so much. (Corina) was popular, fun-loving, an outgoing, bright person."
Traffic was diverted until Thursday afternoon while officers investigated the scene. The girl and her dogs were taken from the scene by New Mexico State Police, so she could call her father, who was expected to arrive in Las Cruces Thursday night.
"We're thankful that there were passers-by who were willing and able to assist this small child out of the vehicle," said Jimenez, who said alcohol or other drugs were not thought to be a factor in the shooting. "That says a lot, I think."
Dominguez' body was transported to Albuquerque for autopsy
And some of the comments from fellow soldiers on the other story which is now only available in their pay archive:
"SGT Dominguez was a courageous and professional soldier, she added a bright human element to the usually rigid and bland military structure, and the army will be poorer having lost her to whatever illness drove her to this act.
I think i speak for the rest of the 437th when I send my deepest condolences and sympathy to her daughter and family.
She will be greatly missed." - Cahill from Sacramento, CA
"Corina, had a great big heart and love for her soldiers. She was like a spark of sunshine to all those she met. Its hard for me to fathom that someone as bright and cheerful as she would do this. May you go with God and rest in peace Sgt Dominguez, for you now have no more wars to fight." - Lopez from Beaumont, CA
"Spunky with a constant smile and a nurturing personality. I know those who knew her best will sorely miss her. God bless her little girl." - Fain from Daly City, CA
I could go on and on sharing tidbits I've seen over the weekend from various friends of hers, but I think you'd find they were extraordinarily repetitive. She was a bright light in a dim world and will be forever missed.
I hope you find your peace, Corina. May the world wrap Jasmine in love and hope.
"Corina shot herself in the chest. She asked Jasmine to do it and when she wouldn't she turned the gun on herself."
I couldn't process it, not in the slightest. There was some discussion about our friend Holly's proximity to where it happened (in Las Cruces, NM, Holly lives in nearby Alamogordo), more discussion about her recent tour of duty in Kuwait and the toll that obviously took on her. Then, somehow, the conversation shifted to Jason's work at the Home Depot greenhouse and we chatted away about plants and pests and remedies for gardeners. I feel bad that in my inability to react, I was unable to give comfort to my brother who had just lost a very near and dear friend; someone he loved more than she probably ever knew.
He had to get off the phone eventually to get to work. I hopped online to see my Facebook news feed was peppered with friends who were aching at the loss of a strong, beautiful, brilliant woman and the unimaginable horror her 9-year-old daughter must be experiencing having witnessed such a dramatic breakdown and the resulting tragedy.
I read an article about it which someone had linked and that was what did me in. I broke down. Given the events of the past week and a half, it felt kind of good to finally release some of that. But I still grieved and I still couldn't fully wrap my head around it. Still can't, really.
We were never close. She was more a friend of my brother's and so I mostly only knew her through other people. I had met her sweet, smart daughter several years ago (maybe when she was 5 or 6). I knew her as Mikle Beaudette's lovely girlfriend when he was murdered and she came through that with admirable strength and determination when most teenage girls would have crumbled. I can only imagine the sort of soldier she was. She had a bright future that was snuffed out by an unpredictable bout with PTSD. I have no doubt that was what caused this episode that sounded very much like a panic attack.
This is the price that our soldiers pay when they volunteer to fight for our freedoms. Some of them pay with their lives in battle. Others pay with their lives in another way. Many if not all are forever altered by their service in war. Their minds are forever haunted. This is of course the most extreme of cases, but there have been too many who have taken their own lives once they're home and find they can not cope with the mental aftermath. We can't ignore it and we must support our troops even after they're home.
Jason has a very haunting message from her. The time stamp is inaccurate so he has no idea when the call was made, but the distorted, quiet message simply says, "help." I'm sure a million, "if only I had answered..." scenarios have crossed his mind. But even if he had, who's to say it would have changed anything for her. Several have said this and I fully agree: the Corina we all knew and loved had departed long before she turned a gun on herself. Her spirit was not in that car when she asked her daughter to end her life.
I know news stories disappear into archives (one of them already has), so I'm putting this here for posterity.
From The Las Cruces Sun-News 5/27/2010:
Police ID woman who shot, killed self while driving on I-10
LAS CRUCES - It was like the driver had hit the brakes for an animal darting across the road, Dustin Stober said.
Except the road was the 75 mph passing lane of Interstate 10. And there was a little girl jumping out of the passenger seat of the black Nissan, waving her hands and screaming that her mother had been shot.
Naval Petty Officer 2nd Class Stober knew something was wrong.
"I've never had this happen before," said Stober, 30, of Lancaster, Calif., who was driving to Dallas with his family. "I'd seen the wound before. I've lost officers. I lost a pilot. I've witnessed friends die."
Corina Dominguez, 33, of Baldwin Park, Calif., had shot herself in the chest Thursday morning - after a failed attempt to get her 9-year-old daughter to kill her, said New Mexico State Police Lt. Roman Jimenez.
Sgt. Dominguez, a medic with the Army Reserve's 437th Ground Ambulance Company, was driving with her daughter and their two dogs when she began to breathe heavily - possibly from an asthma or emphysema attack - and handed her daughter a 9 mm handgun, Jimenez said.
"She told her to shoot her. And she wouldn't," said Jimenez. "The daughter said she has had these kinds of attacks before, but she'd never been suicidal."
After firing the shot, the car rolled to a stop, just slightly in the paved left shoulder of the road, in a construction zone about 25 miles west of Las Cruces. Stober, a Naval contractor who trained in emergency response with the Auxiliary Security Force, immediately pulled in front of Dominguez's car in a blocking maneuver and told his wife to call 911.
Deborah Stober, 25, a daycare worker who had the couple's two sons, ages 9 and 7, in the back seat, rushed the little girl to her car.
Inside the black Nissan, Dominguez, suffering from a massive chest wound, struggled to breathe. Her pulse and breathing became slow.
"I knew what to do in this situation," Stober said. "And I couldn't do anything."
Stober put the car - still in drive - in park and turned it off. He retrieved the handgun from the floor in front of the woman, unloaded it and placed it on the side of the road. He laid the seat back and covered her with a blanket one of the construction workers provided.
"I hope the daughter's OK," he said.
Dominguez' company had returned this year from deployment in Kuwait, where she taught combat lifesaver classes to fellow soldiers, according to an Army Reserve news release about her company's homecoming. In the release, Dominguez said she was planning to begin medical school and looking forward to accompanying her daughter to softball.
Dominguez' aunt, Linda Robinson, of Rochester, N.Y., said mother and daughter were driving to Oklahoma City, Okla., to see Dominguez's father - and she couldn't fathom Thursday's turn of events.
"Her only child, love of her life," Robinson said. "I don't know why she would do that in front of her only child, who she loved so much and missed so much. (Corina) was popular, fun-loving, an outgoing, bright person."
Traffic was diverted until Thursday afternoon while officers investigated the scene. The girl and her dogs were taken from the scene by New Mexico State Police, so she could call her father, who was expected to arrive in Las Cruces Thursday night.
"We're thankful that there were passers-by who were willing and able to assist this small child out of the vehicle," said Jimenez, who said alcohol or other drugs were not thought to be a factor in the shooting. "That says a lot, I think."
Dominguez' body was transported to Albuquerque for autopsy
And some of the comments from fellow soldiers on the other story which is now only available in their pay archive:
"SGT Dominguez was a courageous and professional soldier, she added a bright human element to the usually rigid and bland military structure, and the army will be poorer having lost her to whatever illness drove her to this act.
I think i speak for the rest of the 437th when I send my deepest condolences and sympathy to her daughter and family.
She will be greatly missed." - Cahill from Sacramento, CA
"Corina, had a great big heart and love for her soldiers. She was like a spark of sunshine to all those she met. Its hard for me to fathom that someone as bright and cheerful as she would do this. May you go with God and rest in peace Sgt Dominguez, for you now have no more wars to fight." - Lopez from Beaumont, CA
"Spunky with a constant smile and a nurturing personality. I know those who knew her best will sorely miss her. God bless her little girl." - Fain from Daly City, CA
I could go on and on sharing tidbits I've seen over the weekend from various friends of hers, but I think you'd find they were extraordinarily repetitive. She was a bright light in a dim world and will be forever missed.
I hope you find your peace, Corina. May the world wrap Jasmine in love and hope.