Writing: To whom it may concern. . .
. . . and to those I've been neglecting, I've been writing this week and it's going swimmingly! At times, it almost feels like it's out of my hands. My characters are kind of saying, "uhm, about what you had in mind, yeah, that's not going to work for us" and doing their own thing. It's Weird.
The roadblocks I was/am hitting where things seem too similar to something else in the genre are turning out to make the story so much better. I'm learning not to be frustrated by these realizations because they turn out far improved from what I had in mind originally. I hadn't touched the draft since November and instead had been working in the outline recently. When I went over to the draft a day or two ago, I still had some notes of the original story line there and I had to laugh at myself a bit. If I keep it up, I might have to stop using "The Worst Novel Ever Written" as my pet title. I might instead upgrade it to "A Pretty Awful Freakin' Novel".
As a result of such sweeping changes in story line, characters disappear or are drastically changed as well. That's been an interesting thing to watch happen. One character at the beginning of the week was cut completely. Now I've brought him back as just a sort of cheeky bastard instead of a backstabbing son-of-a-bitch. I think his character is going to be tons of fun to write. Almost as much fun as the main character's best friend who is a lighthearted cynic and at times, down right snarky (every drama needs one, or two, or ten).
Since I axed a major back story, I've also got this ancient order of vampire police, so to speak, dangling out there unused. I know most of the vampire series I've read have at least one of these sorts of groups (Volturi, Children of Darkness, etc.) and it might seem cliche. But I'm struggling to come up with a major supernatural conflict to juxtapose all the regular everyday conflict they face while trying to live somewhat normal day-to-day lives as immortals. I have no idea how it's going to play out, but I'm leaving them in my character profiles document for now as a possibility. By the way, they are not the bloody vampire X-Men!
As mentioned, I'm putting pretty much everything in my outline right now, but I need to start fleshing some of this stuff out over in the draft (which is still very empty at 5 pages and 3119 words). It just feels easier to do it in the outline format, even when I'm dealing with dialog and descriptions and such. Parts of the outline that I don't really want to deal with in depth yet read like outline (i.e.: a few lines of "this stuff happens somehow" type descriptions). But parts of it I've fleshed out with dialog and some description and they read more like rough draft. I've got 16 pages of outline for 9 chapters with 12317 words.
I see now what belluthien has talked about weaving in threads as they come. A new character popped in yesterday and I had to go back and weave her into a chapter previous to the one I was working on. Also, because of a change in the story line, I had to go back and weave in some [rather humorous] mind reading here and there where applicable. So, I bounce around pretty erratically. The whole thing is very chaotic right now. That's probably why I feel more comfortable in the outline. It's organized chaos. . . just like me (Taurus/Aries cusp, look it up).
I think I've finally settled on third person point of view, but I still want to do one chapter in first person because I just think it needs to be done that way. I'm of switching to my main character's point of view during a particularly tumultuous time. Ok, so really I just want a vehicle to basically "fade to black" at the end of the chapter. :P No really, I don't want to her or the reader to see what's about to hit her.
The thing I'm most surprised at is how things come out as metaphor or allegory after they're already on the page. It makes me wonder how much of the literature we see as allegorical wasn't originally intended to be that way. Here, I thought I had to be really clever to get stuff like that to come out. But no, I can be dense old me and it happens anyway.
The unfortunate thing about writing is that it can be all consuming. I haven't worked out at all yet this week and I've done bare minimum on everything else as far as housework and such goes. So much for resolutions, right? Hey wait, writing was a resolution too! But I really feel afraid to not work on the writing when it comes for fear that it might be gone when I have a chance to sit down and do it. One very small thing has already slipped my mind because I didn't have a minute to put it down. I've got a piece of it still, so it might not be lost entirely. But, the meat of it is gone and I have no idea what I was going to say. Also, I'm back into one of those "it keeps me up at night" phases. The sleep I manage to get is poor due to what I can only assume is my overactive imagination spinning more yarns. I wake up feeling more tired than when I drifted off. I just wish I could remember my dreams.
The same thing that is unfortunate, however, is also very fortunate (being consumed by writing that is). Seasonal depression has hit, or that's the only thing I can figure out. Even though I'm making great strides in writing and I feel I'm moving forward in life and such, I'm depressed. I feel very inadequate and prone to despair that I can't do anything about it. I can't explain it other than I've felt cold for too many days in a row and there's nothing left to look forward to (or rather, distract me with) until the days turn warm and lengthen. There's even been some sun lately and that's not enough (it usually is). I know spring will be here before I know it and I'll have flowers to plant and running to do, but I can't help but feel really emo right now for some reason.
For me, that means delving into it and owning it. Some people like to be cheered up when they're sad. I'd rather wear it until it comes around naturally or I get to the bottom of it and have a breakthrough. Which ever. I'm the same way with anger. If I'm pissed off, leave me the hell alone and let me be pissed off for a bit. I'll come around eventually. Also, let it be known that I'm not self-medicating or otherwise and this is not to be considered a dangerous depression or anything. I'm just dealing and listening to really whiny emo music which has actually been very inspirational for the writing.
In retrospect, it starts to set in right after Halloween every year. But I've got so many distractions in November and December that it doesn't really, REALLY hit until January. I get hopelessly optimistic for like a week around New Year's when everything is shiny and new and then life sucks for no good reason until about mid-March. Suddenly, I'm a ball of sunshine in April and I'm usually good again until after Halloween. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Always repeat.
In the meantime, I can get wrapped up in my writing and kind of forget about the depression for a little while. What can I say? I do teh art good when depressed. Unfortunately, the second I close the laptop, it slaps me in the face with "oh yeah, I was full of despair for no real reason". On the bright side, it made a particularly heart wrenching scene remarkably easy to write yesterday. I just really need to stay the hell out of the chapter that I'm thinking of writing in first person right now. Seriously. I'm all for wallowing in my sorrow, but damn!
The roadblocks I was/am hitting where things seem too similar to something else in the genre are turning out to make the story so much better. I'm learning not to be frustrated by these realizations because they turn out far improved from what I had in mind originally. I hadn't touched the draft since November and instead had been working in the outline recently. When I went over to the draft a day or two ago, I still had some notes of the original story line there and I had to laugh at myself a bit. If I keep it up, I might have to stop using "The Worst Novel Ever Written" as my pet title. I might instead upgrade it to "A Pretty Awful Freakin' Novel".
As a result of such sweeping changes in story line, characters disappear or are drastically changed as well. That's been an interesting thing to watch happen. One character at the beginning of the week was cut completely. Now I've brought him back as just a sort of cheeky bastard instead of a backstabbing son-of-a-bitch. I think his character is going to be tons of fun to write. Almost as much fun as the main character's best friend who is a lighthearted cynic and at times, down right snarky (every drama needs one, or two, or ten).
Since I axed a major back story, I've also got this ancient order of vampire police, so to speak, dangling out there unused. I know most of the vampire series I've read have at least one of these sorts of groups (Volturi, Children of Darkness, etc.) and it might seem cliche. But I'm struggling to come up with a major supernatural conflict to juxtapose all the regular everyday conflict they face while trying to live somewhat normal day-to-day lives as immortals. I have no idea how it's going to play out, but I'm leaving them in my character profiles document for now as a possibility. By the way, they are not the bloody vampire X-Men!
As mentioned, I'm putting pretty much everything in my outline right now, but I need to start fleshing some of this stuff out over in the draft (which is still very empty at 5 pages and 3119 words). It just feels easier to do it in the outline format, even when I'm dealing with dialog and descriptions and such. Parts of the outline that I don't really want to deal with in depth yet read like outline (i.e.: a few lines of "this stuff happens somehow" type descriptions). But parts of it I've fleshed out with dialog and some description and they read more like rough draft. I've got 16 pages of outline for 9 chapters with 12317 words.
I see now what belluthien has talked about weaving in threads as they come. A new character popped in yesterday and I had to go back and weave her into a chapter previous to the one I was working on. Also, because of a change in the story line, I had to go back and weave in some [rather humorous] mind reading here and there where applicable. So, I bounce around pretty erratically. The whole thing is very chaotic right now. That's probably why I feel more comfortable in the outline. It's organized chaos. . . just like me (Taurus/Aries cusp, look it up).
I think I've finally settled on third person point of view, but I still want to do one chapter in first person because I just think it needs to be done that way. I'm of switching to my main character's point of view during a particularly tumultuous time. Ok, so really I just want a vehicle to basically "fade to black" at the end of the chapter. :P No really, I don't want to her or the reader to see what's about to hit her.
The thing I'm most surprised at is how things come out as metaphor or allegory after they're already on the page. It makes me wonder how much of the literature we see as allegorical wasn't originally intended to be that way. Here, I thought I had to be really clever to get stuff like that to come out. But no, I can be dense old me and it happens anyway.
The unfortunate thing about writing is that it can be all consuming. I haven't worked out at all yet this week and I've done bare minimum on everything else as far as housework and such goes. So much for resolutions, right? Hey wait, writing was a resolution too! But I really feel afraid to not work on the writing when it comes for fear that it might be gone when I have a chance to sit down and do it. One very small thing has already slipped my mind because I didn't have a minute to put it down. I've got a piece of it still, so it might not be lost entirely. But, the meat of it is gone and I have no idea what I was going to say. Also, I'm back into one of those "it keeps me up at night" phases. The sleep I manage to get is poor due to what I can only assume is my overactive imagination spinning more yarns. I wake up feeling more tired than when I drifted off. I just wish I could remember my dreams.
The same thing that is unfortunate, however, is also very fortunate (being consumed by writing that is). Seasonal depression has hit, or that's the only thing I can figure out. Even though I'm making great strides in writing and I feel I'm moving forward in life and such, I'm depressed. I feel very inadequate and prone to despair that I can't do anything about it. I can't explain it other than I've felt cold for too many days in a row and there's nothing left to look forward to (or rather, distract me with) until the days turn warm and lengthen. There's even been some sun lately and that's not enough (it usually is). I know spring will be here before I know it and I'll have flowers to plant and running to do, but I can't help but feel really emo right now for some reason.
For me, that means delving into it and owning it. Some people like to be cheered up when they're sad. I'd rather wear it until it comes around naturally or I get to the bottom of it and have a breakthrough. Which ever. I'm the same way with anger. If I'm pissed off, leave me the hell alone and let me be pissed off for a bit. I'll come around eventually. Also, let it be known that I'm not self-medicating or otherwise and this is not to be considered a dangerous depression or anything. I'm just dealing and listening to really whiny emo music which has actually been very inspirational for the writing.
In retrospect, it starts to set in right after Halloween every year. But I've got so many distractions in November and December that it doesn't really, REALLY hit until January. I get hopelessly optimistic for like a week around New Year's when everything is shiny and new and then life sucks for no good reason until about mid-March. Suddenly, I'm a ball of sunshine in April and I'm usually good again until after Halloween. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Always repeat.
In the meantime, I can get wrapped up in my writing and kind of forget about the depression for a little while. What can I say? I do teh art good when depressed. Unfortunately, the second I close the laptop, it slaps me in the face with "oh yeah, I was full of despair for no real reason". On the bright side, it made a particularly heart wrenching scene remarkably easy to write yesterday. I just really need to stay the hell out of the chapter that I'm thinking of writing in first person right now. Seriously. I'm all for wallowing in my sorrow, but damn!