Title: Memory
Rating: Um... PG-13
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Kurt/Puck
Genre: Angst
Warning: Character Death!!
Spoilers: None that I can think of!
Disclaimer: Do not own, which is probably a good thing
Author Notes: Second person! Also, not sure what illness I gave Noah, not even sure it's a real illness... my bad.
Summary: Based off of the
comment on six billion secrets: "I wish they wouldn't have forced me to look at you in your casket. I didn't want that to be the last time I saw you. My last memory of you alive is way too beautiful, so that's how I remember you. You were my sunshine."
Word Count: 1430
“What are you thinking about?”
You look up from your guitar to see your boyfriend staring at you, his head slightly tilted to the right. You shrug. “What do you mean?”
“The song you were playing went from a sweet melody to a sad one.”
“Oh.” You hadn’t noticed that. Yeah you have a lot on your mind but you didn’t think that it would change which music you were playing. You can’t tell him what you were thinking about though because it would crush him, so you lie. “I was just thinking about you.”
“I make you said?”
Okay, maybe not the best thing to say. “No, but it’s gonna get dark soon and since it’s Sunday you’re going to say we can’t spend the night because it’s a school night which means I don’t get to see you until tomorrow morning.”
Kurt smiles and you feel your heart flutter. It’s going to hurt when he finds out the truth. “It will only be about 9 hours and you should be asleep for most of them.”
You place your guitar, in its case that’s currently lying next to you, and turn so you can cup his cheek in your hand. “Yeah, but my dreams are different when you aren’t with me.”
He tilts his head again and you wrap your arm around his shoulder and gently pull him so that he’s cuddled into your side. “When you’re lying next to me, my dreams are happy and colorful but when you aren’t, they’re nightmares.”
He opens his mouth and you know he’s going to apologize so you cut him off. “Not bad nightmares, I just call them that because you aren’t in them. Sometimes I dream of football and a glee club of all Rachel Berry, wait, that one really is a nightmare.” Kurt stifles a laugh so you continue. “Though, my favorite dream without you was when I was being chased by a donut. I didn’t even know what I did to make it mad, I mean, I didn’t want to eat it, it just decided to attack me.”
Kurt didn’t stifle that laugh and you could feel the vibrations running through your body. You pulled him closer and held him until the laughter died down. Then the two of you just sit there, under a tree, staring up at the clouds, just loving the time you’re spending together. It’s a shame it’ll be the last time this happens.
~~~---~~~
When you get home from dropping Kurt off your mother is waiting by the door. “Where the hell have you been? You’re too sick to be out this late. You weren’t even supposed to be out at all today.”
You sigh and head to your room, hoping that she’ll take the hint and leave you alone. “I know mom.”
She doesn’t though and just keeps talking. “You were with Kurt again weren’t you? You know I don’t like him.”
“I know mom, but I do.” You try to walk away again, but she keeps talking.
“It’s his fault you’re so weak all the time.” That makes you stop and turn to look at her. Kurt isn’t the reason you’re sick, he’s the reason you’ve been fighting for as long as you have. “If you didn’t spend so much time with him, you would have more strength but no, you have to run around the whole damn town with him. Does he know you’re sick? Does he know that you go to sleep coughing every night because you can’t breathe because you’ve been running around with him all day?”
You’ve had enough of her and you tell her as much. “Shut up mom. It’s not his fault and he doesn’t know. I’m not going to hurt him by telling him I’m probably going to die when I fall asleep. I’m not going to tell him that he probably won’t see me tomorrow because I’m slowly losing this damn battle. I’ve fought lie hard to survive this long and it’s his entire fault. If not for him, I would have given in a year ago.”
That shut her up and you start walking to your room again but the closer you get the harder it is to breathe. You can’t give in now though, tomorrow will mark your and Kurt’s one year anniversary and you have to make it to tomorrow. “Mom.” The word is hoarse and your throat hurts and your chest feels like it’s on fire. “MOM!”
She’s by your side a few seconds later. “I’m here baby, just hold on. The ambulance is on its way. Just breathe for me okay.”
You try to but it hurts. The air burns your throat as you try to take bigger gasps. “Mom, it hurts.”
“I know sweetie, but just hang in there for a few more minutes.”
You want to curl into yourself but you know that won’t help. You hate this. You hate feeling weak and you hate being sick. “Mom, please make it stop.”
“I can’t baby. I can’t.” You can hear the pain in her voice and if you looked at her you know she would be crying. You hate hurting her, even if they didn’t get along all the time, she was your mother and her hurting was worse than your hurting.
Your breaths become shallower and you feel your throat closing on you completely. You can faintly hear your mother screaming, begging, you not to leave her but it hurts too much to try to fight it. You want to tell her you love her but the words fall short as the world goes black.
~~~---~~~
When Kurt got the phone call that night it seemed like the whole world had come crashing down on him. He had dropped the phone as soon as he heard the words and his dad was there is seconds, asking what was wrong. Kurt just shook his head and started to cry. He had tried so hard not to get attached to Noah because he swore it would just break his heart. He thought that Noah was still the man whore he was last year but he had fallen, and fallen hard. Kurt knew Noah would break his heart though. His dad, being completely confused, just stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Kurt and pulled him into a hug. That’s when the tears started.
Noah was dead even though they had been together not an hour earlier. Noah had looked so healthy and happy but his mother had told Kurt that he had been sick basically his whole life. Kurt didn’t know why Noah hadn’t told him and that fact hurt because Kurt thought that Noah didn’t trust him enough to tell him. Noah’s mother had said it was because Noah was trying to protect Kurt but Kurt’s tough, he could have handled it. Stupid Noah thinking he was doing Kurt a favor.
~~~---~~~
The viewing was a week later and Kurt really hadn’t wanted to go. He didn’t want to admit that Noah was really gone. Which was why he was standing in the back while everyone else was standing over the coffin, looking down at Noah. Kurt couldn’t do it though. He couldn’t look at Noah now. He wanted his last memory of Noah to be the one under the tree, Noah playing guitar while Kurt sat and just stared at the clouds. That was what he wanted his last memory to be.
The others didn’t like that idea though because they kept telling him that he should go talk to Noah, tell him goodbye but Kurt had refused too. They wouldn’t have it though because next thing he knows, he’s being pushed up to the coffin and is looking down at Noah, who looks like he’s sleeping and all Kurt can think of his Noah dreaming about being chased by a donut, or a glee club full of Rachel Berries. He wants to laugh at that but tears fill his eyes in stead. He closes his eyes and all but runs out of the room. He really wished he hadn’t seen Noah like that.
~~~---~~~
For the next few nights Kurt wakes up screaming. His dreams are plagued with images of Noah in his coffin. He hated it and even when he tried to dream of that tree and clouds, it turns into Noah lying under the tree, now dead along with Noah. He dreams of nothing good and he hates that he was forced to see Noah in his coffin.