Sunday Morning, Rain is fallin...
Steal Some Covers, Share Some Skin... so this week was like the first week that ive actually woken up to see the Sunday Morning Show in like months, although i really do love it, they had on John Travolta and buffalos, i cant wait till next sunday... Charles Osgood!
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable... this week has been so good. i got my snow dance pictures, i hung out at the library with Lauren and Kaylee, i got my grad project certificate, meaning i can officially graduate, and i got to teach second graders about change.
You Twist to fit the mold that i am in... i honestly dont know how ppl deal with me anymore, i am so indecisive that it makes me a hypocrite so often, and then when i realize it i get angry. also, i kept forgetting to lip gloss all week, like right now dammit, and that gets me angry also. and both of my grandmoms have been in the hospital this past weekend, which really upsets me and stresses me out. and my dad is in virginia which leaves my mother in charge, which stresses me out. i really dont know how ppl can stand me somedays.
But things just get so crazy, livin life gets hard to do... i doubt a lot. this week i have doubted everything at least once, and on monday night, i stayed up all night torturing myself about my insecurities. i think that reading the DaVinci Code has probably contributed to this, as well as a lack of John Mellencamp.
and i would gladly hit the road, get up and go if i knew... hanging out with lauren has made me realize that i really dont wanna go to college. honestly, i really cant even think about it sometimes, it gets me upset. not only is it this whole new thing and huge change and everything, but its like admitting that youre done being a kid, and its like closing part of your life. i just dont kno.
that someday it would lead me back to you, that may be all i need... the other night i was lying in my bed almost ready to fall asleep, and i started thinking about Pearce, ...i know, this is where it gets corny, but im sayin it anyway... so yea, i was thinking about Pearce and i was like, wait, thats your boyfriend, and it was like this new realization. its not like i didnt kno, but it was so refreshing.
in darkness she is all i see... i had a nightmare this week, thats so strange, i havent had one in so long. well, actually, i was awake, i just got scared of a shadow, but it was a really scary one, and now before i go to bed i look for it, bc im scared.
come and rest your bones with me... Benny's been sleepin gin my bed lately, hes so cute, for as much as i say he annoys me, i really do love the little bugger, and i know when i go to college ill miss waking up in the middle of the night bc hes cleaning himself at 2am, and the movement keeps me awake.
driving slow on sunday morning, and i never want to leave... so this three day weekend is coming up and i dont hafta work at all, im def not gonna wanna go in on monday. im becoming such a homebody lately, its not that i dont have any motivation to go out, just that i love staying in. i have spent so much time in my room lately, youd think id get sick of it, but i love it.
fingers trace your every outline, paint a picture with my hands... in art class and dance i am so Uncreative, but i can be really creative outside of those classes, it really annoys me bc i kno that when im not in art i think up all these good ideas for a painting that im doing, and when i get there, i just mess it up and it looks like crap. and in dance, i really cannot free dance, but when im in my room with the radio going, i have so much fun with it, but i dont really have fun dancing at dance class, i have fun making fun of it, which i did in the bathroom today with Sam, she really hates kristen, its histerical.
and back and forth we sway like branches in a storm... my life is one big back and forth, theres never one sure thing. i hate it. somedays i get along with ppl, somedays i dont, somedays im mildly happy, others i cant even bare to smile, sometimes i get confused about things, and other days it seems so clear, only to get hazy again, it really frustrates me sometimes.
change of weather, still together when it ends... in a couple more days, it'll be my four month anniversary with Pearce. thats so long.
--oh yea yea, oh yea yea, oh yea yea, im a flower in your hair--