Here I Am, So Alone...
... & there's nothing in this world i can do, until you're back here baby... miss you, want you, need you so...
thats right, bbmak on new year's eve.
wow, i havent updated in forEver, but i figured this was my last chance of '04 so here goes it... my christmas break is almost over unfortunately, but i got to see everyone neways, um... hung out with kaylee and lauren on monday, tuesday went to KOP with the rentals and then hung out with pearce, went to tom jones and kohls and the granite run mall on wedensday with britt and them, on thursday i hadta work, then went out with rach and got pulled over for "trespassing"... gay. then on friday, i baisically slept all day and stayed in with my rentals... o0o00o and got paid! (more than i expected)
i am in the best mood ever today too! i think im figuring out how to let go, bc im usually very bad at that and i hate change sooooo much. ive been dealing with shit like this whole month from rach, my parents, my grandmother getting put in a nursing home, figuring junk out with pearce, failing classes, NOT driving, confronting eric, and just being treated like shit in general. but i think im just gonna chill in 2005. im not dealing with ppl, for real, number one on the list is kristin (the dance teacher), im not gonna put up with them, life's just too damn short to worry bout assholes. also, im sick of trying to get control of my own life, shit just dont work out sometimes, and im just gonna hafta start making do, instead of getting mad and tryina change it. i think im just done caring bout ppl that dont deserve being cared about by me. so there. thats my new years resolution, worry bout the ppl that count, only.
wow, im so excited for 2005, i get to turn 18, and graduate, and get outta sfield, and get away from target (hopefully), and drive?, and get a credit card (asap), and get my ears pierced (lol), and do what i want for once... it's gonna be great. im mucho excited!
1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before? so many things, go to a concert other than at st. matts, have a boyfriend that's worth being my boyfriend, get a job, and lotza other things...
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i didnt keep it... i gained weight, and yes ill make tons more.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? umm... a couple of my neighbors, my cousin's pregnant, cant think of neone else
4. Did anyone close to you die? my grandmom's close friend that i knew, hopefully that's all... cant remember neone else right now
5. What countries did you visit? unfortunately, none.
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004? happiness, money, a job that i like, friends, a license
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 09/18/04... if you dont know, you dont matter
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? being a vegetarian
9. What was your biggest failure? uh... eric, physics, gaining weight, there are far too many to name.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? no major injuries, thankfully, but like when was i not sick?
11. What was the best thing you bought? the dashboard cd's
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? maybe ms. tuerk, she's going into the peace corps.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? car's, eric's, theres quite a few, but those are the top
14. Where did most of your money go? food
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? pearce.
16. What song will always remind you of 2004? pieces of me
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?: maybe a touch happier, although it's hard to tell
ii. thinner or fatter?: fatter for sure
iii. richer or poorer?: def richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? shiit, im not tryina sound like a slut herre.... jk, prolly go to more concerts
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? being mean
20. How did you spend Christmas? at home with my rentals and my grandmom, and i visited my nanny, and i hung out with pearce
22. Did you fall in love in 2004? yes
23. How many one-night stands? only one night?... hmm... i cant remember.... jk, none
24. What was your favorite TV program? friends and the real world and that 70's show
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? yea, unfortunately there's quite a few added to the list
26. What was the best book you read? geez... it shouldnt be this hard, but i cant remember ne books i read right now
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? one word fools: EMO
28. What did you want and get? a job, pearce, cd's, and lotza stuff
29. What did you want and not get? to see dashboard and hanson in concert, oh, and taking back sunday's concert i missed too
30. What was your favorite film of this year? garden state.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? got my denim jacket, i turned the big one seven
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? seeing more shows, spending more time with pearce, working less
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004? i dunno... wutever i felt like wearing
34. What kept you sane? music, benny, pearce, dance class (lol), and my cell phone
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well, thats it for this year, loves
-but/for/now/ill/look/so/longingly/for/you/to/want/me/for/you/to/need/me/for/you/to/notice//////////me.