(no subject)

[melissa1107]

I'm beginning to think that I never had a problem in school.  I never had a problem with drugs.  I never had a problem getting a job.  I never had a problem going to class.  I never had a problem with alcohol.  I never had a problem.  I never had a problem in my control.  I had a problem with people having expectations.  I had a problem with sticking to other people's schedules.  I had a problem with people wanting for me to do things.  I had a problem with people controlling me and with my best interests in mind, but reminding me all the time, so that I could never enjoy my fun.  The electronic leash.  The constant nag.  The eternal pressure.  The weight on my shoulders, my back, pushing me down, holding me back, do this, do that.  "You're on a schedule."  I'm on someone's schedule and I don't even know it.  I haven't met their 4 year college expectation, but I exceeded the 4 year high school expectation by 1 year, so they can still get me back on track.  I'm on a schedule.  There's a pressure.  I don't want it.  
Recently, I took my life back from submission, and now they steal it from me again, with their schedule.  I'm obligated to find a job.  To pay a credit card debt.  To move out of my parent's apartment and be on my own, support myself, not be a mooch.  I don't need their schools.  I don't need their drugs.  I don't need their jobs.  I don't need their classes.  I don't need their alcohol.  I don't need their problems.  I don't need their control.  I don't need their expectations.  I don't need their bloody schedules.  I don't need to do things for them.  They don't know my best interests.  They haven't got half a mind.  I want to have fun all the time. 
Everyone can piss off.