Learning to Fly (2/?)
TITLE: Learning to Fly (2/?)
AUTHOR: MelDomingo
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Callie/Erica
SUMMARY: Set after the season 4 finale kiss. Coming out can be quite the rocky journey...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. No infringement intended...
Previous chapters here:
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
The early morning sun began to peek through the cracks between the curtains in the room and Callie couldn't help but slowly flutter her eyes open. Erica was still sleeping behind her with her arms firmly wrapped around her waist. They had fallen asleep in that exact position that night and both were so exhausted from the previous day at the hospital that they didn't move an inch in their state of rest.
Callie sighed as she gently squeezed Erica's fingers underneath her own. She almost needed the assurance that what had happened the night before was actually real. As her mind began to wake to the morning sun, thoughts of confusion began to creep their way into her head once again.
Callie had somehow been able to quell these thoughts when she approached Erica in the hospital before leaving for the night. She had built up a wall to pent up all of her doubts and fears so that she could will herself to talk to her best friend. With each step she took, she laid in a brick that would hopefully stop the voices in her head from convincing her to run in the other direction. Now as she lay in bed, the emotional strain was becoming too much to handle and cracks were starting to form. The damn was threatening to break.
Maybe she really wasn't ready for everything that happened the night before... But, in the moment, it had felt so right. Of course she had been ready to show Erica all the love and passion in the world. But now, Callie was starting to seriously doubt that she was ready to deal with everything that would come after. This is what she had been craving for the last few weeks so why are there a million and one reasons floating into her head as to why she should run to the hills and hide?
Callie didn't know how to do this... how to be with a woman. She didn't know the social intricacies of being in a relationship with and loving a woman. For the last few weeks, her thoughts, emotions, and desires had become nothing less than foreign to her existence. Right when she thought she was settling into a wonderfully single life of a successful orthopedic surgeon, Erica's existence had thrown in the proverbial monkey wrench. How could she possibly be falling so deeply for another woman when she didn't even know her own self anymore?
Up until recently, Callie had always enjoyed being with men. She enjoyed their physical and mental strength and of course she enjoyed spending hours with them in the bedroom. Then Erica came along... She was one of the strongest, most beautiful women that she had ever met. She admired her professionalism at work and her prowess in the operating room. She appreciated the fact that Erica had let her guard down as their friendship blossomed over that last few months. After last night, she LOVED the feel of the other woman's completely naked body pressed up against hers.
Callie felt Erica start to inch her way closer. She closed her eyes as she felt her best friend wrap her arms even more tightly around her waist and start to nuzzle the back of her neck.
“Good morning...” Erica lazily said between placing soft kisses on Callie's exposed skin.
Callie turned around so she was face to face with the fairer woman. “Good morning...” she replied with a slightly forced smile. She didn't really want Erica to know that second and third and fourth thoughts about what had happened were already floating around in the minutia of her head.
Erica gazed deeply into Callie's eyes. Instantly she knew that something was not quite right. They didn't carry the sparkle that was always present when they were around each other. “You okay?” She gently inquired, not wanting to upset the intimacy of the moment.
Callie reached up and caressed her lover's face. It always amazed her how someone who could appear so hard and unyielding on the outside could have the softest face in the world. “I don't know,” she sighed. “I just have a lot of thoughts running circles around my head right now. That little hamster in the wheel is definitely approaching top speed.”
Erica couldn't help but smile. She loved how Callie had the ability to make light of most situations. “Want to tell me about it?”
After taking a few seconds to debate whether or not she should talk, Callie answered, “I don't know how to do this...”
“Do what?” Erica was a tad confused at Callie's cryptic answer.
“I don't know how to do THIS...” Callie motioned between the two of them. “I don't know how to be with a woman. I don't know how this is all supposed to work. I've never done this before and to tell you the truth, it's starting to scare me a little.”
“You don't have to be scared Cal, I'm right here with you. I won't let anything bad happen.”
“I know you won't...”
“I know that you've never been with a woman before but I can assure you that it's really no different than being with a man.” Erica pulled her in tightly and rested her forehead against Callie's. “You know, the only real difference is that women are a hell of a lot softer and cleaner than any man could ever be.”
Callie laughed then sighed at Erica's comment. She was VERY right about that. The woman in front of her was so beautiful and soft to the touch, not to mention the wonderfully empathetic soul she carries behind her hardened exterior. Erica is everything Callie ever wanted in a man but even more. Erica gave her the emotional attention that no other person had ever given her before. “Yeah,” Callie leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on the other woman's lips. “I guess you're right about that.”
“You guess?...” Erica teased. She knew that Callie still had many inner demons to battle. She wanted to just make her smile and reassure her that everything will work out in the end.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, baby.”
“Baby?” Callie grinned. Just hearing that word swept her off her feet and nearly made her forget about the thoughts that were filling her head. “Wow.. I love how that sounds...”
“I do too.” Erica reached up to caress her face and kissed the raven haired beauty on the forehead. “I'm sorry. You were asking me something?”
“Is it okay with you if we keep this between ourselves for a while? I just... I don't know... It's just that everyone at work already thinks of me as being one way and I don't know if I'm ready for them to see me differently. I guess I'm not ready to handle what they might say about me... about us.” Callie paused and took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts, “It's just crazy because I don't really know who I am anymore... Am I gay or bi or just a confused human being? I've never felt this way about another woman before...”
Even though Callie wasn't directly requesting her to keep her new identity in the closet, Erica completely understood the other woman's need to take time to explore this new part of herself. Erica had done in years ago and she knows how difficult it could be to show to the entire world that you're not who they thought you were.
“It's okay to be confused and it's okay to take the time to discover this new part of yourself. You don't need to define yourself right away. Just take it a day at a time and the answers will come.” Erica reached down to Callie's hand and intertwined her own creamy white fingers with Callie's caramel skinned ones. “Cal, it's okay if we take this slow. Besides, you know I don't mix my personal life with my professional life anyway. This doesn't have to be anyone else's business but our own. We will do this together and when you feel you're ready, you can show everyone this beautiful new part of you that I've gotten to know and love.”
“Really?” Callie couldn't believe her ears. She had been so sure that Erica would try to convince her to screw what everyone else thought and to be exactly how she is no matter what people say.
“Really.” Erica brought Callie's hand to her lips and placed a kiss on it, just as Callie had done the night before. Callie smiled and felt her heart flutter. As innocent as it was, that kiss had sealed a promise between the two women. Erica would be there to hold her hand through the journey and it was exactly what Callie needed. “Come on Torres, it's time to get your ass into gear. We need to be back at the hospital in an hour.”
“But I haven't slept on a real bed in FOREVER... Can't we just call in so we can stay in bed and cuddle all day?” Callie pulled the covers tightly over their bodies and clung to them for dear life. She just wanted to hold on to this moment forever. She wasn't quite prepared to face the rest of the world today.
“As much as I would love to, we both know that we can't today. We've got to check in on cement boy, remember?”
“Right...” Callie thought back and remembered the moment when divine inspiration struck her the night before. When the two teenagers finally shared their first kiss, it made Callie realize how much of a coward she had been. She herself had told Lola to “screw what other people think”. Now it was time for her to follow her own advice. “Okay... I GUESS we can go to work today.”
Erica leaned forward for a quick kiss on the lips before hopping out of bed and heading into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Callie watched and admired her lover's gloriously naked body as the bathroom door closed behind her. Deep down in the pit of her stomach, Callie knew that this was going to be another long day.
******
The pair made it to work on time. Though they didn't walk through the lobby doors holding hands, they stayed in intimate contact with each other through knowing glances and shared smiles. Callie breathed a sigh of relief when they were able to make it through the lobby without being stopped and harassed about their very blatant public display of affection the night before. Stepping into an empty elevator, Callie took a chance and weaved her fingers into Erica's.
Erica turned to her pleasantly surprised, “I thought you didn't want to do this at work?”
“I know...” Callie caught the blonde woman's eyes with her own. “I just missed the way you felt.”
As if Callie didn't expect the elevator doors to ever open, they suddenly slid apart revealing the bustling halls of the surgical wing. Callie quickly withdrew her and and offered Erica an apologetic glance. She felt slightly ashamed at the fact that she had to hide their budding relationship but she just wasn't ready to face the inevitable gossip that would spread like wildfire through the entire hospital.
Like usual, the same groups of people congregated in different areas surrounding the nurses' station carrying on conversations and looking over patient charts. Callie half expected the whole room to stop and stare at the pair as they walked out of the elevator together. Much to her relief, everyone seemed to be content to carry on with their business as usual.
“Dr. Hahn...”
Callie slightly jumped and felt her breath catch in her throat. Did someone see them holding hands when the doors opened? The pair turned behind them to find that Christina had somehow snuck up behind them.
“What can I do for you Yang?” Erica attacked. She still wasn't feeling good about the confrontation that had happened the night before. There were very few things that would bring her down from the high she had reached with Callie the night before. Christina was one of them...
“I just wanted to return these.” Christina held up Erica's missing key chain. “I saw them on the desk by the computer a few minutes after you left last night. I would have given them to you last night but you two seemed a bit preoccupied with each other.”
Erica swiped the keys from Christina's hand but before she could say a word Callie interrupted, “What are you talking about Christina?”
Christina took a step towards Callie and lowered her voice, “Come on Callie, you two were out in front of the hospital making out like horny teenagers. Frankly, I'm surprised that the entire surgical wing isn't talking about it yet. It IS still early in the day...”
Christina walked away leaving Callie with a petrified look on her face. “Oh god...”
Erica placed her hands on Callie's shoulders and forced her to look her in the eye. “It's going to be okay. She did say that not everyone was talking about it yet. It's a good sign when word takes more than 12 hours to spread.”
Somehow, Callie didn't feel it the least bit comforting. This is NOT how she wanted to start her day. “I'm such an idiot!”
“No you're not, Callie.” Erica tried her best to comfort her. Truthfully, she didn't know what to do. Since she had closed herself off to many relationships over the years, she didn't have the experience under her belt to know exactly what to do. In her own mind, she was flailing around for the right answers. “Listen, Yang's just trying to get under my skin. I'm sure that no one else is going to say a word.”
Callie silently nodded and the pair continued on their way to the surgical board to see what the day was going to look like. As they continued of what seemed like the longest 50 feet ever, Callie could feel the sting of eyes staring and the burn of people whispering as they passed by. She could feel the rate of her pulse quicken and the lump in her throat get larger. Was this really happening or was she just imagining it?
Erica knew that Callie was feeling uncomfortable because she was silent. Usually, the pair would be walking down the halls in deep conversation about the latest issue of the monthly medical magazine or what time they would be meeting for lunch in the cafeteria. This time, Callie was completely and utterly silent.
The pair stopped at the board. Erica took time to look at the board so she could plan her day out. She glanced to her side where Callie was. She seemed completely uninterested in the information in front of her. She was fidgeting with her fingernails and looking around every few seconds to see what was going on around her.
“You okay?”
After a few seconds, Callie finally answered quietly, “I guess... It just feels like everyone's looking at us”
Erica took a cursory glance around the area and saw no one blatantly staring in their direction, “Cal, I really don't think anyones looking.”
“Good morning, Dr Hahn... Dr Torres.” Callie spun around and saw Bailey approaching. She stopped in front of the pair to take her own look at the board. “Looks like it's going to be a busy one.” Once she was done jotting down a few notes, she turned to the couple and continued, “And as for you two... It's about damn time!”
Callie nearly collapsed with mortification. Who else saw her lapse of better judgment in front of the hospital lobby last night??? “I don't know what you're talking about.”
“I saw you both in front of the hospital when I was on my way out with Tuck last night. You two are good for each other... it's about time someone around here got a 'happy ending'.”
“Thank you, Miranda,” Erica was pleasantly surprised by the positive comments offered by her colleague.
Bailey half smiled in approval as she walked away to continue her rounds for the day. Callie stood dumbfounded by the exchange of words. Even though it had been a positive exchange, she couldn't help but still feel the gazes of disapproval surrounding her.
“See Callie,” Erica tried to catch her attention. She knew that Callie was having a rough time and she wanted her to try to see the positive in the situation. Just thinking of Bailey's words made her smile with pride. “Bailey thinks we're good for each other.”
Callie was starting to panic. How could anyone know what was good for her when when she didn't even know herself? “I'm sorry Erica, maybe this was a mistake... Maybe we shouldn't be doing this. God, I've so totally screwed this up! Erica,” Callie pleaded with her best friend, searching for any indication of understanding, “I'm not gay...”
“Callie...” She wanted so desperately to help Callie through this. She knew that the process of coming out could be one of the hardest things to do. She wanted nothing more than to protect Callie from the crushing blow of the emotional tidal wave.
“I can't do this Erica...” Callie's tear filled eyes locked with Erica's pools of crystal blue. “ I just... I can't do this right now.”
Callie turned and quickly walked away leaving Erica wondering if she too had made a mistake.
******
A/N: This chapter turned out a little differently than I had planned. Had a bit of a hard time nailing the conversations with Yang and Bailey. Originally I was going to have select co-workers tease Callie and actually create the negative experience. Somehow, it morphed into Callie turning a pretty positive response into something negative. My goal was to portray Callie's nerves and the fact that she was seeing things things that may or may not have been happening around her. Did it work???
AUTHOR: MelDomingo
RATING: NC-17
PAIRING: Callie/Erica
SUMMARY: Set after the season 4 finale kiss. Coming out can be quite the rocky journey...
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or its characters. No infringement intended...
Previous chapters here:
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
The early morning sun began to peek through the cracks between the curtains in the room and Callie couldn't help but slowly flutter her eyes open. Erica was still sleeping behind her with her arms firmly wrapped around her waist. They had fallen asleep in that exact position that night and both were so exhausted from the previous day at the hospital that they didn't move an inch in their state of rest.
Callie sighed as she gently squeezed Erica's fingers underneath her own. She almost needed the assurance that what had happened the night before was actually real. As her mind began to wake to the morning sun, thoughts of confusion began to creep their way into her head once again.
Callie had somehow been able to quell these thoughts when she approached Erica in the hospital before leaving for the night. She had built up a wall to pent up all of her doubts and fears so that she could will herself to talk to her best friend. With each step she took, she laid in a brick that would hopefully stop the voices in her head from convincing her to run in the other direction. Now as she lay in bed, the emotional strain was becoming too much to handle and cracks were starting to form. The damn was threatening to break.
Maybe she really wasn't ready for everything that happened the night before... But, in the moment, it had felt so right. Of course she had been ready to show Erica all the love and passion in the world. But now, Callie was starting to seriously doubt that she was ready to deal with everything that would come after. This is what she had been craving for the last few weeks so why are there a million and one reasons floating into her head as to why she should run to the hills and hide?
Callie didn't know how to do this... how to be with a woman. She didn't know the social intricacies of being in a relationship with and loving a woman. For the last few weeks, her thoughts, emotions, and desires had become nothing less than foreign to her existence. Right when she thought she was settling into a wonderfully single life of a successful orthopedic surgeon, Erica's existence had thrown in the proverbial monkey wrench. How could she possibly be falling so deeply for another woman when she didn't even know her own self anymore?
Up until recently, Callie had always enjoyed being with men. She enjoyed their physical and mental strength and of course she enjoyed spending hours with them in the bedroom. Then Erica came along... She was one of the strongest, most beautiful women that she had ever met. She admired her professionalism at work and her prowess in the operating room. She appreciated the fact that Erica had let her guard down as their friendship blossomed over that last few months. After last night, she LOVED the feel of the other woman's completely naked body pressed up against hers.
Callie felt Erica start to inch her way closer. She closed her eyes as she felt her best friend wrap her arms even more tightly around her waist and start to nuzzle the back of her neck.
“Good morning...” Erica lazily said between placing soft kisses on Callie's exposed skin.
Callie turned around so she was face to face with the fairer woman. “Good morning...” she replied with a slightly forced smile. She didn't really want Erica to know that second and third and fourth thoughts about what had happened were already floating around in the minutia of her head.
Erica gazed deeply into Callie's eyes. Instantly she knew that something was not quite right. They didn't carry the sparkle that was always present when they were around each other. “You okay?” She gently inquired, not wanting to upset the intimacy of the moment.
Callie reached up and caressed her lover's face. It always amazed her how someone who could appear so hard and unyielding on the outside could have the softest face in the world. “I don't know,” she sighed. “I just have a lot of thoughts running circles around my head right now. That little hamster in the wheel is definitely approaching top speed.”
Erica couldn't help but smile. She loved how Callie had the ability to make light of most situations. “Want to tell me about it?”
After taking a few seconds to debate whether or not she should talk, Callie answered, “I don't know how to do this...”
“Do what?” Erica was a tad confused at Callie's cryptic answer.
“I don't know how to do THIS...” Callie motioned between the two of them. “I don't know how to be with a woman. I don't know how this is all supposed to work. I've never done this before and to tell you the truth, it's starting to scare me a little.”
“You don't have to be scared Cal, I'm right here with you. I won't let anything bad happen.”
“I know you won't...”
“I know that you've never been with a woman before but I can assure you that it's really no different than being with a man.” Erica pulled her in tightly and rested her forehead against Callie's. “You know, the only real difference is that women are a hell of a lot softer and cleaner than any man could ever be.”
Callie laughed then sighed at Erica's comment. She was VERY right about that. The woman in front of her was so beautiful and soft to the touch, not to mention the wonderfully empathetic soul she carries behind her hardened exterior. Erica is everything Callie ever wanted in a man but even more. Erica gave her the emotional attention that no other person had ever given her before. “Yeah,” Callie leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on the other woman's lips. “I guess you're right about that.”
“You guess?...” Erica teased. She knew that Callie still had many inner demons to battle. She wanted to just make her smile and reassure her that everything will work out in the end.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything, baby.”
“Baby?” Callie grinned. Just hearing that word swept her off her feet and nearly made her forget about the thoughts that were filling her head. “Wow.. I love how that sounds...”
“I do too.” Erica reached up to caress her face and kissed the raven haired beauty on the forehead. “I'm sorry. You were asking me something?”
“Is it okay with you if we keep this between ourselves for a while? I just... I don't know... It's just that everyone at work already thinks of me as being one way and I don't know if I'm ready for them to see me differently. I guess I'm not ready to handle what they might say about me... about us.” Callie paused and took a deep breath, collecting her thoughts, “It's just crazy because I don't really know who I am anymore... Am I gay or bi or just a confused human being? I've never felt this way about another woman before...”
Even though Callie wasn't directly requesting her to keep her new identity in the closet, Erica completely understood the other woman's need to take time to explore this new part of herself. Erica had done in years ago and she knows how difficult it could be to show to the entire world that you're not who they thought you were.
“It's okay to be confused and it's okay to take the time to discover this new part of yourself. You don't need to define yourself right away. Just take it a day at a time and the answers will come.” Erica reached down to Callie's hand and intertwined her own creamy white fingers with Callie's caramel skinned ones. “Cal, it's okay if we take this slow. Besides, you know I don't mix my personal life with my professional life anyway. This doesn't have to be anyone else's business but our own. We will do this together and when you feel you're ready, you can show everyone this beautiful new part of you that I've gotten to know and love.”
“Really?” Callie couldn't believe her ears. She had been so sure that Erica would try to convince her to screw what everyone else thought and to be exactly how she is no matter what people say.
“Really.” Erica brought Callie's hand to her lips and placed a kiss on it, just as Callie had done the night before. Callie smiled and felt her heart flutter. As innocent as it was, that kiss had sealed a promise between the two women. Erica would be there to hold her hand through the journey and it was exactly what Callie needed. “Come on Torres, it's time to get your ass into gear. We need to be back at the hospital in an hour.”
“But I haven't slept on a real bed in FOREVER... Can't we just call in so we can stay in bed and cuddle all day?” Callie pulled the covers tightly over their bodies and clung to them for dear life. She just wanted to hold on to this moment forever. She wasn't quite prepared to face the rest of the world today.
“As much as I would love to, we both know that we can't today. We've got to check in on cement boy, remember?”
“Right...” Callie thought back and remembered the moment when divine inspiration struck her the night before. When the two teenagers finally shared their first kiss, it made Callie realize how much of a coward she had been. She herself had told Lola to “screw what other people think”. Now it was time for her to follow her own advice. “Okay... I GUESS we can go to work today.”
Erica leaned forward for a quick kiss on the lips before hopping out of bed and heading into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Callie watched and admired her lover's gloriously naked body as the bathroom door closed behind her. Deep down in the pit of her stomach, Callie knew that this was going to be another long day.
******
The pair made it to work on time. Though they didn't walk through the lobby doors holding hands, they stayed in intimate contact with each other through knowing glances and shared smiles. Callie breathed a sigh of relief when they were able to make it through the lobby without being stopped and harassed about their very blatant public display of affection the night before. Stepping into an empty elevator, Callie took a chance and weaved her fingers into Erica's.
Erica turned to her pleasantly surprised, “I thought you didn't want to do this at work?”
“I know...” Callie caught the blonde woman's eyes with her own. “I just missed the way you felt.”
As if Callie didn't expect the elevator doors to ever open, they suddenly slid apart revealing the bustling halls of the surgical wing. Callie quickly withdrew her and and offered Erica an apologetic glance. She felt slightly ashamed at the fact that she had to hide their budding relationship but she just wasn't ready to face the inevitable gossip that would spread like wildfire through the entire hospital.
Like usual, the same groups of people congregated in different areas surrounding the nurses' station carrying on conversations and looking over patient charts. Callie half expected the whole room to stop and stare at the pair as they walked out of the elevator together. Much to her relief, everyone seemed to be content to carry on with their business as usual.
“Dr. Hahn...”
Callie slightly jumped and felt her breath catch in her throat. Did someone see them holding hands when the doors opened? The pair turned behind them to find that Christina had somehow snuck up behind them.
“What can I do for you Yang?” Erica attacked. She still wasn't feeling good about the confrontation that had happened the night before. There were very few things that would bring her down from the high she had reached with Callie the night before. Christina was one of them...
“I just wanted to return these.” Christina held up Erica's missing key chain. “I saw them on the desk by the computer a few minutes after you left last night. I would have given them to you last night but you two seemed a bit preoccupied with each other.”
Erica swiped the keys from Christina's hand but before she could say a word Callie interrupted, “What are you talking about Christina?”
Christina took a step towards Callie and lowered her voice, “Come on Callie, you two were out in front of the hospital making out like horny teenagers. Frankly, I'm surprised that the entire surgical wing isn't talking about it yet. It IS still early in the day...”
Christina walked away leaving Callie with a petrified look on her face. “Oh god...”
Erica placed her hands on Callie's shoulders and forced her to look her in the eye. “It's going to be okay. She did say that not everyone was talking about it yet. It's a good sign when word takes more than 12 hours to spread.”
Somehow, Callie didn't feel it the least bit comforting. This is NOT how she wanted to start her day. “I'm such an idiot!”
“No you're not, Callie.” Erica tried her best to comfort her. Truthfully, she didn't know what to do. Since she had closed herself off to many relationships over the years, she didn't have the experience under her belt to know exactly what to do. In her own mind, she was flailing around for the right answers. “Listen, Yang's just trying to get under my skin. I'm sure that no one else is going to say a word.”
Callie silently nodded and the pair continued on their way to the surgical board to see what the day was going to look like. As they continued of what seemed like the longest 50 feet ever, Callie could feel the sting of eyes staring and the burn of people whispering as they passed by. She could feel the rate of her pulse quicken and the lump in her throat get larger. Was this really happening or was she just imagining it?
Erica knew that Callie was feeling uncomfortable because she was silent. Usually, the pair would be walking down the halls in deep conversation about the latest issue of the monthly medical magazine or what time they would be meeting for lunch in the cafeteria. This time, Callie was completely and utterly silent.
The pair stopped at the board. Erica took time to look at the board so she could plan her day out. She glanced to her side where Callie was. She seemed completely uninterested in the information in front of her. She was fidgeting with her fingernails and looking around every few seconds to see what was going on around her.
“You okay?”
After a few seconds, Callie finally answered quietly, “I guess... It just feels like everyone's looking at us”
Erica took a cursory glance around the area and saw no one blatantly staring in their direction, “Cal, I really don't think anyones looking.”
“Good morning, Dr Hahn... Dr Torres.” Callie spun around and saw Bailey approaching. She stopped in front of the pair to take her own look at the board. “Looks like it's going to be a busy one.” Once she was done jotting down a few notes, she turned to the couple and continued, “And as for you two... It's about damn time!”
Callie nearly collapsed with mortification. Who else saw her lapse of better judgment in front of the hospital lobby last night??? “I don't know what you're talking about.”
“I saw you both in front of the hospital when I was on my way out with Tuck last night. You two are good for each other... it's about time someone around here got a 'happy ending'.”
“Thank you, Miranda,” Erica was pleasantly surprised by the positive comments offered by her colleague.
Bailey half smiled in approval as she walked away to continue her rounds for the day. Callie stood dumbfounded by the exchange of words. Even though it had been a positive exchange, she couldn't help but still feel the gazes of disapproval surrounding her.
“See Callie,” Erica tried to catch her attention. She knew that Callie was having a rough time and she wanted her to try to see the positive in the situation. Just thinking of Bailey's words made her smile with pride. “Bailey thinks we're good for each other.”
Callie was starting to panic. How could anyone know what was good for her when when she didn't even know herself? “I'm sorry Erica, maybe this was a mistake... Maybe we shouldn't be doing this. God, I've so totally screwed this up! Erica,” Callie pleaded with her best friend, searching for any indication of understanding, “I'm not gay...”
“Callie...” She wanted so desperately to help Callie through this. She knew that the process of coming out could be one of the hardest things to do. She wanted nothing more than to protect Callie from the crushing blow of the emotional tidal wave.
“I can't do this Erica...” Callie's tear filled eyes locked with Erica's pools of crystal blue. “ I just... I can't do this right now.”
Callie turned and quickly walked away leaving Erica wondering if she too had made a mistake.
******
A/N: This chapter turned out a little differently than I had planned. Had a bit of a hard time nailing the conversations with Yang and Bailey. Originally I was going to have select co-workers tease Callie and actually create the negative experience. Somehow, it morphed into Callie turning a pretty positive response into something negative. My goal was to portray Callie's nerves and the fact that she was seeing things things that may or may not have been happening around her. Did it work???