DESTINY
September 2011
The dim light from the moon is not helping with cold breeze sent chills through my bones as we stood outside fingers intertwined. Possibly for the last time. As the clock ticks and time moves on, there soon will be no us but just you or me. What do I know? Is this our destiny? If it is, well then destiny seems to be playing tricks on us. I know she is wondering why must we part and even though words do not leave her lips but her action even the most subtle one gives her away. As if we are afraid to break the moment, we stood next to each other silently. A sudden thought brought me back to the time when I first saw her on a rainy midnight when she walked into the lobby or more accurate into my heart. I was nervous so I hid it by pulling a prank on her. I don’t know why did she choose to drape her Keroro blanket on me but I am glad she did. She said she had a strong feeling that it was me when I asked her much later on. We started awkwardly but step by step we became us instead of her or me. She is unique with a charm unlike others and with her, beauty is more than what meets the eye. We are not together but yet we are one. And now the end is near. There are so many things I want to do with her and so many things I want to tell her. I want so much more for her and I love her so much more than she will ever know. But our time is not yet. So I selfishly thought it would be better for us to end something that has not started in the beginning. As we hug, her soft body entertwined with mine while her head lean on my chest as I close eyes and breathe in her sweet scent. I will miss her like crazy. Everything about her - her kiss, her touch, her pouts, her ‘ Sinchia’, her ‘Yo~ng’, her ‘Oppa’, her soft hands, but mostly her mesmerizing eyes - yes, with that one look from her and I am good as gone. “Hyun, you know when 2 people are meant to be together, eventually they will find their way back” I whisper to her ears. She nods and then I pull her closer to me, claiming her lips and murmur “Good night”. As we walked away from each other in the night, I tell my heart sorry and it will hurt just a little less soon while I hold back the tears.
June 2012
It’s been more than 6 months, and we have now become just strangers passing through journey together at one point of our lives. But there is not a day that has not gone by where I don’t wonder about her. She seem to get on with her life well, isn’t this what I want for her? I miss her like crazy everyday and not one passing day where I did not want to dial her number and just tell her the truth. But what is the truth? That I sometimes regret my decision? That I could have been more braver to embrace it rather than to give excuses that she will be happier without me? That I doubt the unspoken love we have for each other could be just a passing phase even though I know it is not? Jung Yong Hwa, you are a coward sometimes. But I don’t...I put on a smile as always and get on with my life.
February 2013
After a year of keeping it to myself, finally I broke down towards the end of our concert in Busan. My ‘brothers’ know that something has not been right since WGM ended but I pretended that everything is good and that it was the right thing to do. But what is the right thing? I don’t know anymore. I told them everything and they chided me for being a fool. I should tell her that I have always loved her - they say and that I am a selfish fool . I lost count of the times - I search for her news, I pick up the phone to dial her number, I wanted to go up and hug her whenever I see her during shows but I end up hiding away instead. It’s a decision I have to live with, I just have to find a way to move on. I told them it’s too late, I have lost the chance. I needed to leave this place and so my ever so supportive ‘brothers’ unanimously decided to move to Japan together for a while to take a break and work on our new album.
August 2013
Paparazzo can be quite annoying but that’s the life of a celebrity. I had dinner with this Japanese singer because CN Blue wrote a song for her. In fact, my ‘brothers’ were there too but the photographer just happen to snap a photo of me and her only hence the rumors start to circulate that I am dating her. In fact, I know of her producer boyfriend. Suddenly I thought of Hyun and how sad she would be if she reads of this news. But I guess she has probably forgotten about me since it has been a while since we spoke or seen each other. In fact, she probably don’t even want to see me. The boys are each busy with our individual tasks such as MC, dramas, variety shows, etc. I mostly stayed behind the scenes composing and honing my skills while trying to move on with my empty life without her.
June 2014
After laying low for the past year in the Korean music scene, CN Blue made our comeback as if we have never left. I am glad for fans who have been supportive of us throughout our years and as well as the support of the boys for me the past year. As I walked down the familiar corridor of the MBC station, my heart suddenly began to beat faster and I felt as if there are butterflies in my stomach. Suddenly , I saw her. The woman who has been haunting my dreams for the past 3 years. The angel whom I should never have let go. At that moment, I chided whoever that said ‘when 2 people are meant to be together, eventually they will find their way back’ but acknowledging the fact that I am even a bigger fool by letting her go in the first place. Her eyes grew bigger as her vision came in line with mine. I let myself drown in her gaze and nervously called her name, “Hyun?”
November 2015
My heart broke as she crumble to the floor in tears. Perhaps I am the one to blame for this. After coming face to face with her a year ago, I know that not having her in my life at all was no longer an option. It was all I could ask for except for a tiny fact - Junsu, her boyfriend. I chose to stay by her side as her best friend so that I can support her and make sure she is happy. Of cos a lot of people were not happy about us - her unnies and my brothers as well but we both stubborn. She did not tell me why they broke up but I had a feeling that Junsu was feeling insecure. I did my best to assure him but it did not work. Am I bad for feeling ecstatic over the fact that my best friend broke up with her boyfriend? Now I have her all to myself. “Hyun, want another goguma?” I tried to cheer her up and make light of the situation. She look at me like I am crazy but then she sigh “Sure, I can always manage one there”.
September 2016
Destiny sure has a funny way of churning out the unexpected. When I saw her again 2 years ago, it was inevitable that our lives will be tangled up again but this time, I am here to stay regardless of whatever role I will be playing in her life. She had a boyfriend then so I was relegated to the sidelines as her best friend until they broke last year. Then I slowly, patiently but surely letting her know that there is only one happiness in my life, to love her and be loved by her. It was difficult in the beginning because she kept at arms length on the pretext of friendship. After months of trying, she finally agreed to give it a go. Now, I am in Go-Chun with an angel in my arms. Everything about her - her kiss, her touch, her pouts, her ‘ Sinchia’, her ‘Yo~ng’, her ‘Oppa’, her soft hands, but mostly her mesmerizing eyes...oh definitely in cloud nine now. Tonight is a special night. We are at a drive in theater and it is cold so we snuggled closer together. She innocently asked me why the whole place is empty except for us. I mumbled that it’s cos it’s cold. I know that it’s passed her bedtime but I whisper in her ears “Hyun, stay awake until the credits. It’s the most important one” and she nods. I watch her eyes grow bigger and her surprised expression as it began to dawned on her that I just proposed. She turn and I smiled at her, holding the ring, “Spend the rest of your life with me, Seo Joo Hyun?” and slips the ring to her finger. I thought my heart stopped for that few seconds while I waited for her answer. She grinned, embraced me and whispers, “Yes”
February 2017
Lucky number 7 so they say and I am a believer. Hall that is filled with pink, silver and gold decorations as how I like it. My soon to be wife never cease to amaze me. More than ever, I am still amaze that she is marrying me after all these years. I guess it is true after all, that when 2 people are meant to be, they will find their way back to each other and we have found ours. I nervously waited at the altar with my best men. Each patting my shoulders trying to ease my nervousness. The piano began it’s melody and the door open. I hold my breathe as in walked my beautiful angel. Her hair loosely just like the way I like it and white fabrics clung to her every curve. The hall is filled with our loved ones but I only have eyes for her. Her father smiled as he hands her over to me. And from this day forward, I will take this woman to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do we part. We both said our ‘I Dos’ and as our lips touched, my knees went weak. Then I looked into her eyes and it's like my whole world is flipped with putting everything into a new perspective. I can do things I never thought I could do, say things to her that I thought I would never be able to say to anyone before. It's like I just want to be with her forever, hold her in my arms, kiss her, and tell her how she's changed me, my life and my everything. “Saranghae” I whisper to her as we dance our way into the first day of our lives together. I did not forget to thanked destiny for smiling at us again.
The dim light from the moon is not helping with cold breeze sent chills through my bones as we stood outside fingers intertwined. Possibly for the last time. As the clock ticks and time moves on, there soon will be no us but just you or me. What do I know? Is this our destiny? If it is, well then destiny seems to be playing tricks on us. I know she is wondering why must we part and even though words do not leave her lips but her action even the most subtle one gives her away. As if we are afraid to break the moment, we stood next to each other silently. A sudden thought brought me back to the time when I first saw her on a rainy midnight when she walked into the lobby or more accurate into my heart. I was nervous so I hid it by pulling a prank on her. I don’t know why did she choose to drape her Keroro blanket on me but I am glad she did. She said she had a strong feeling that it was me when I asked her much later on. We started awkwardly but step by step we became us instead of her or me. She is unique with a charm unlike others and with her, beauty is more than what meets the eye. We are not together but yet we are one. And now the end is near. There are so many things I want to do with her and so many things I want to tell her. I want so much more for her and I love her so much more than she will ever know. But our time is not yet. So I selfishly thought it would be better for us to end something that has not started in the beginning. As we hug, her soft body entertwined with mine while her head lean on my chest as I close eyes and breathe in her sweet scent. I will miss her like crazy. Everything about her - her kiss, her touch, her pouts, her ‘ Sinchia’, her ‘Yo~ng’, her ‘Oppa’, her soft hands, but mostly her mesmerizing eyes - yes, with that one look from her and I am good as gone. “Hyun, you know when 2 people are meant to be together, eventually they will find their way back” I whisper to her ears. She nods and then I pull her closer to me, claiming her lips and murmur “Good night”. As we walked away from each other in the night, I tell my heart sorry and it will hurt just a little less soon while I hold back the tears.
June 2012
It’s been more than 6 months, and we have now become just strangers passing through journey together at one point of our lives. But there is not a day that has not gone by where I don’t wonder about her. She seem to get on with her life well, isn’t this what I want for her? I miss her like crazy everyday and not one passing day where I did not want to dial her number and just tell her the truth. But what is the truth? That I sometimes regret my decision? That I could have been more braver to embrace it rather than to give excuses that she will be happier without me? That I doubt the unspoken love we have for each other could be just a passing phase even though I know it is not? Jung Yong Hwa, you are a coward sometimes. But I don’t...I put on a smile as always and get on with my life.
February 2013
After a year of keeping it to myself, finally I broke down towards the end of our concert in Busan. My ‘brothers’ know that something has not been right since WGM ended but I pretended that everything is good and that it was the right thing to do. But what is the right thing? I don’t know anymore. I told them everything and they chided me for being a fool. I should tell her that I have always loved her - they say and that I am a selfish fool . I lost count of the times - I search for her news, I pick up the phone to dial her number, I wanted to go up and hug her whenever I see her during shows but I end up hiding away instead. It’s a decision I have to live with, I just have to find a way to move on. I told them it’s too late, I have lost the chance. I needed to leave this place and so my ever so supportive ‘brothers’ unanimously decided to move to Japan together for a while to take a break and work on our new album.
August 2013
Paparazzo can be quite annoying but that’s the life of a celebrity. I had dinner with this Japanese singer because CN Blue wrote a song for her. In fact, my ‘brothers’ were there too but the photographer just happen to snap a photo of me and her only hence the rumors start to circulate that I am dating her. In fact, I know of her producer boyfriend. Suddenly I thought of Hyun and how sad she would be if she reads of this news. But I guess she has probably forgotten about me since it has been a while since we spoke or seen each other. In fact, she probably don’t even want to see me. The boys are each busy with our individual tasks such as MC, dramas, variety shows, etc. I mostly stayed behind the scenes composing and honing my skills while trying to move on with my empty life without her.
June 2014
After laying low for the past year in the Korean music scene, CN Blue made our comeback as if we have never left. I am glad for fans who have been supportive of us throughout our years and as well as the support of the boys for me the past year. As I walked down the familiar corridor of the MBC station, my heart suddenly began to beat faster and I felt as if there are butterflies in my stomach. Suddenly , I saw her. The woman who has been haunting my dreams for the past 3 years. The angel whom I should never have let go. At that moment, I chided whoever that said ‘when 2 people are meant to be together, eventually they will find their way back’ but acknowledging the fact that I am even a bigger fool by letting her go in the first place. Her eyes grew bigger as her vision came in line with mine. I let myself drown in her gaze and nervously called her name, “Hyun?”
November 2015
My heart broke as she crumble to the floor in tears. Perhaps I am the one to blame for this. After coming face to face with her a year ago, I know that not having her in my life at all was no longer an option. It was all I could ask for except for a tiny fact - Junsu, her boyfriend. I chose to stay by her side as her best friend so that I can support her and make sure she is happy. Of cos a lot of people were not happy about us - her unnies and my brothers as well but we both stubborn. She did not tell me why they broke up but I had a feeling that Junsu was feeling insecure. I did my best to assure him but it did not work. Am I bad for feeling ecstatic over the fact that my best friend broke up with her boyfriend? Now I have her all to myself. “Hyun, want another goguma?” I tried to cheer her up and make light of the situation. She look at me like I am crazy but then she sigh “Sure, I can always manage one there”.
September 2016
Destiny sure has a funny way of churning out the unexpected. When I saw her again 2 years ago, it was inevitable that our lives will be tangled up again but this time, I am here to stay regardless of whatever role I will be playing in her life. She had a boyfriend then so I was relegated to the sidelines as her best friend until they broke last year. Then I slowly, patiently but surely letting her know that there is only one happiness in my life, to love her and be loved by her. It was difficult in the beginning because she kept at arms length on the pretext of friendship. After months of trying, she finally agreed to give it a go. Now, I am in Go-Chun with an angel in my arms. Everything about her - her kiss, her touch, her pouts, her ‘ Sinchia’, her ‘Yo~ng’, her ‘Oppa’, her soft hands, but mostly her mesmerizing eyes...oh definitely in cloud nine now. Tonight is a special night. We are at a drive in theater and it is cold so we snuggled closer together. She innocently asked me why the whole place is empty except for us. I mumbled that it’s cos it’s cold. I know that it’s passed her bedtime but I whisper in her ears “Hyun, stay awake until the credits. It’s the most important one” and she nods. I watch her eyes grow bigger and her surprised expression as it began to dawned on her that I just proposed. She turn and I smiled at her, holding the ring, “Spend the rest of your life with me, Seo Joo Hyun?” and slips the ring to her finger. I thought my heart stopped for that few seconds while I waited for her answer. She grinned, embraced me and whispers, “Yes”
February 2017
Lucky number 7 so they say and I am a believer. Hall that is filled with pink, silver and gold decorations as how I like it. My soon to be wife never cease to amaze me. More than ever, I am still amaze that she is marrying me after all these years. I guess it is true after all, that when 2 people are meant to be, they will find their way back to each other and we have found ours. I nervously waited at the altar with my best men. Each patting my shoulders trying to ease my nervousness. The piano began it’s melody and the door open. I hold my breathe as in walked my beautiful angel. Her hair loosely just like the way I like it and white fabrics clung to her every curve. The hall is filled with our loved ones but I only have eyes for her. Her father smiled as he hands her over to me. And from this day forward, I will take this woman to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, from this day forward until death do we part. We both said our ‘I Dos’ and as our lips touched, my knees went weak. Then I looked into her eyes and it's like my whole world is flipped with putting everything into a new perspective. I can do things I never thought I could do, say things to her that I thought I would never be able to say to anyone before. It's like I just want to be with her forever, hold her in my arms, kiss her, and tell her how she's changed me, my life and my everything. “Saranghae” I whisper to her as we dance our way into the first day of our lives together. I did not forget to thanked destiny for smiling at us again.