SL Ch4
SELFISH LOVE
DO NOT REDISTRIBUTE OR CLAIM AS YOUR OWN WORK, thankyou =)
Miyavi jumped to his feet, turning his rain soaked face towards Kai
"Baby....."
Kai sneered at him "Don't even try that shit with me now"
"Please..."
"Four and a half minutes left, hurry" Kai snapped at him
Miyavi ran his hands across his wet face, pushing a few stray multi coloured strands of hair behind his ears, the black tammy he was wearing being pushed back slightly on his head. His grey baggy t-shirt stuck to his skin hugging his skinny frame along with his baggy blue jeans. He was soaked through.
Kai gulped hard, pushing all sexual thoughts about the soaked to the bone man before him aside. Remembering why they were standing where they were right now and not tucked up together in bed, anger once again overwhelmed him.
"Kai" Miyavi whispered as he inched forward, closer to the younger man. Kai backed away slightly. Seeing the hurt look in his former lovers large eyes, Kai felt a pang in his chest. Why the fuck was he the one feeling so damn bad for Miyavi, it should be the other way round, it should be Miyavi laying in bed night after night, crying himself to sleep. Kai hoped he did, he doubted it though.
"I'm so sorry baby, i never meant for any of this to happen, it was..."
"Please" Kai tutted, supressing the tears threatening to erupt from his throat "spare me the usual crap"
Miyavi bowed his head
"I'm trying to explain Kai" barely a whisper in the cold night air
"Save it, you know as well as i do that there ain't nothing you could say to make this better" Kai turned
"Goodbye Miyavi"
"No, wait" the older man begged
"It's too late" Kai yelled "You ruined it all" he entered through the door again
Miyavi threw himself to his knees, clutching desperately onto the drummer's legs
"Hate me"
Confusion contorted Kai's features as he turned to face the kneeling figure
"What?" he asked
"Hate me, please, just, don't leave me" Miyavi sobbed, tears streaming down from his pained, pleading eyes
Kai couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was Miyavi really saying what he thought he was?
"How can i be with you if i hate you?" his brow knitted as he stared down at the pitiful man
"Please?" was the only response he got back
The flood gates opened as he too began crying, his tears falling onto his ex's face.
Kai fell to his knee's.
Miyavi reached out to wipe the tears from the beautiful man's face, Kai let him
"Please don't cry" the older man whispered
Kai lost all control as he wept uncontrollably, letting Miyavi take him in his arm's as they both sat crouched by the front door, rain soaking both their bodies. Kai's back, clad only with one of Miyavi's favourite, thin t-shirt's, feeling every single pelt of the clouds very own tears smack against the fabric there but he didn't care, he didn't even shiver from the feel of the cold December air that whisped all around them. Miyavi's arms that entwined the younger man's body, giving off some degree of heat, not that either of them cared for much right now except what they were currently doing.
Miyavi pressed hard kisses against Kai's neck, rushed whispers of 'i love you' repeating over and over again from his lips. Kai could do nothing but weep.
Miyavi's mouth reached Kai's own, stilling for a second, eyes locked on each others, before both men harshly pressed their lips against one anothers. Rough and wanton, everything else forgotten.
Miyavi's hands came up, one resting on Kai's neck the other going to the back of his head as he pushed his mouth harder into the others.
Kai clung onto the singers biceps, fingers digging deep into the fabric clinging wetly to the skin there.
His eyes snapped open
"No" he breathed
Miyavi looked confusedly at him as Kai got to his feet
"I can't" he touched his fingers to his rain soaked lips "Just go, please"
He didn't even turn to see the pain etched on Miyavi's face as he slammed the door shut, sliding down the wood once just inside and bursting into another loud, pain filled cry. He drew his knees up against his chest, burying his face in them.
"Fuck" Ruki cried out as he leaned down to pick Kai up
"What the fuck did he do?" Aoi burst out of his bedroom, demanding answer's
"Leave it, Kai needs us now" Ruki warned the other pent up male
Aoi looked at him before his eyes travelled down to their shrivelled up band mate on the floor
"It's ok babe, come on, lets get you in a bath" he said as he bent down and scooped Kai up in one neat little bundle.
Heading to the bathroom, Kai looked up at his knight in shining armour, at least for tonight he was
"I need a drink"
Aoi smiled as he nodded
"Bath first, booze later"