this is mostly for me. just a boring update out of order.

[melaverdebella]

i keep coming back to old clauses such as 'these days are dwindling' or 'what i would like is' and finding that there is no need for me to share anything anymore because my feelings are annually recycled. last year at this time of the year, i was enamoured by a boy who wouldn't even speak with me. right now, i don't know what it is that's

Comments

[deadonarrival]

i couldn't agree with you more: "there is no need for me to share anything anymore because my feelings are annually recycled. last year at this time of the year, i was enamoured by a boy who wouldn't even speak with me"

i was going through old entries of last year and the same time i was writing the same things and i read them now as a different person because everybody is different even three seconds later and i was like "wow, this girl is just like me" and then it's more like "no wait, that girl is me, just last year" with the same boy and the same problems and it all makes sense. nothing ever really changes. it's just different people and worse situations but it's always the same. and we will read over old quotes and lyrics and clever one liners from our past and think, god, i really relate to myself right now. and how strange is that. to relate to yourself. it's comforting. tonight the sky is hot and i sit in shorts on the curb and scowl at scene kids and pretend i live in arizona or nevada and have the boyfriend i tell everyone i have. the weather is good, however, my luck is not.

[melaverdebella]

it's always bothered me that my life is so mundane that nothing can even happen, and yet i choose to not do anything about it. at least you're actively trying to make things better, all i do is sleep and sleep and sleep.