the copmplete tipsy truth

[melainethayet]

I think I've just been pretending these last two motnths. I'm not happy. I never fucking will be. EVER. i'm never going to be able to scompletely trust. and it's not just his fault. it's all my f ault. there is no one for me. i hate it. i hate being realitisic. i hate is so mcuh. why cant i be like all those ahppy hippies that just believe. i want

Comments

[eplossl]

Now, now... I know where you are. I've been there before. Had you told me two years ago that within two years I would meet the woman of my dreams and fall in love with her, I would have told you that you were nuts. I have believed for a long time that I am never going to get married, and would also never have a real serious girlfriend. I am sure you know this already, but I am in love with a beautiful woman. We are holding a wedding ceremony in June. We are currently buying a house together.

I don't tell you this to lord it over you. I tell you this because of the fact that I was wrong. I had several girlfriends before Jenarra. I even got engaged once. But every time I got burned. It sounds like you have been burned as well. Just because you haven't found Mr. Right yet does not mean that he will not come along. I have been looking for Ms. Right for years. When I met Jenarra, I wasn't looking for Ms. Right. I had someone I was dating at the time. Time passed, and I moved from dating her to dating someone else, and STILL wasn't looking for someone. Then the beginning of this past year, I started looking, but I was looking elsewhere and resigning myself to the fact that I would never meet someone who would ever truly make me happy. Then, I came to Anni Party 2005. Jen and I hit it off there, even though I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or anything other than a friend there, I found a lot more. I found someone who makes me truly happy and with whom I want to spend the rest of my life.

Don't discount your future. It will probably take some time, and it will almost certainly be painful, but I suspect that just when you stop looking for happiness and for someone to love you, the right person will find you. That's what happened for me.

[melainethayet]

I'm not even looking for happiness anymore. I've given up on the idea that I can be happy. I realise the possiblility that I could have another serious relationship again, hell, I could do it another few times, but I honestly believe that the idea of finding someone to make me happy and making myself happy is just too optimistic. That's why I try not to think about it, cause if I do then I'll just get beaten down again.
This way, the realistic way, keeps me from being hurt more than I already am. I just hate how it's so goddamn hard.

Thank you for the comment though. I do read through your entries, and I'm truly glad for you. :) Just because it can't happen for me doesn't mean I dont believe it wont happen to anyone else.