Talked to a longtime crush tonight, just enough to remember why I enjoyed his friendship so much. Somehow never noticed before that my penchant for ego stroking does a great deal for my own ego. It made me think of friends I've had over the years who came to me when they needed a bit of pandering and how happy I always am to oblige. Not just because I enjoy knowing that my bit of fawning adoration can bring a smile... But for the very selfish reason that it makes me happy knowing I'm someone they think of when they need a bit of positive attention. More than that, if I'm completely honest, it excites me.
Not all forms of objectification are bad, especially when the "object" in question genuinely enjoys it.
It sort of feeds into things that have been on my mind lately, trying to figure a few things out and sort out some thought processes so that I can sit down and have some conversations about where things stand. Communicate.
I dunno, more thinking to do. Finally found a starting place, been fighting with myself over that for months.
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