It's Hard To Want Everything And Nothing At The Same Time..
So Long Sweet Summer..
Hey guys. this is going to be one of those long posts where I actualy have something of value to say. you can Stop reading now if you would like, or you can listen ither way this is just to get out what needs to be said. As summer snuck up on me so quickly it just as quickly is coming to an end. even though i bitched about it so much i can honestly say summer all and all has treated me pretty well.There isn't anything like marhsmellow fights at forest. or new relationships forming, getting closer with friends and finding out things you didnt really realize before. chilled nights in mayas backyard, or laying on the floor just talking about everything. And as school is coming so soon i realize summer has changed my mind. I am now having second thoughts about a descion i made long ago on not coming back to WestBloomfield High.I don't know if its that i'm afraid to move on and start new, or I don't want everything to change. Maybe i'm deluding myself to think it will be any better anywhere else, when really I'm just not sure. I have been through alot in my days at westbloomfield somethings yes i am not proud of and there are people I wish i was closer to, and some i wish i stayed away from. but even though i bitched and complained, i made it through. I was so exited to get the hell out of here and now, i'm really , really sad. And upset, and confused because I don't know what the right choice is. But if i stay , i might be making the wrong one. It is pretty sad that with just almost 3 weeks left, I am totaly beside myself on what to do. Maybe, I am just scared. i had my heart set on going to andover and just starting fresh, on a clean slate but that was stupid beacause your past follows you wherever you go , good and bad. deep down, i know i need to make a choice, and i think i know which one the right one is. but for some reason i am having a hard time letting go. I just want to say thank you to those people who have been there for me through the past few years, you know who you are. even if we dont hang out all the time like i wish we could, i love you all very much. and i wish everyone the best. And to everyone who dislikes me, finds me obnoxious and annyoing i'm sorry that you feel that way. i always thought i was a pretty nice person and i stick to that when i say i am always here for anyone if you ever need to talk. at least i can say i stayed pretty true to myself. one thing that i really learned the past few years is to just forget what people think , and just live. cause life is much to short to get caught up in things like that. Summer and a certain thing that hit a litte to close to come taught me that. so what do i do ? well i'm really not sure but i do know that alot of this is me being scared beacause everything is changing so fast. alot of it is me thinking that maybe the grass wont be greener on the other side but if i dont try. if i dont walk across the street , i know i will regret it. It might be a mistake, the biggest one i will ever make but i guess if it is a mistake its mine to make. i still have thinking to do but i think i know what is right.. and what is real. I know most of you stoped reading.. but thats okay because like i said this entry was purely for me. If you want to comment and let me know what you think.. i would apreacite that because clearly you can tell i'm very confused. but whatever desicion i come to. it could be the worse one, or it could be the best one i ever make.. i jsut hope it leads me to good things and i will finaly find what i'm looking for, whatever that is. . . thanks guys for everything good luck junior and senior year:)
<3 Melissa
GoOd ByE To You.. Goodbye to everything I knew...
Now and forever, you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight
When you walked into my life
Now and forever, I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken
We had a moment, just one moment
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do all we got to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Didn't we come together, didn't we live together
Didn't we cry together
Didn't we play together, didn't we love together
And together we lit up the world
I miss the tears, I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Now and forever, I will always be with you
Josh, the last year has been amazing, i love you so much i cant even put it into words..this song while it may sound wierd to others.. makes such perfect sence to me. thank you for putting up with all my shit good and bad. and i cant wait to see what happens next, but no matter what i will never forget what you taught me , you made me me. and i love you so much and i always will..no matter what.