blah
yeah thats how i feel right now. AND I HATE IT! it seems no matter how much i tell myself everything will be okay it seems that its not. No matter how much I tell myself im thinking too much into something i still do it. I hate the fact that im so insecure. The fact that I hate when hes in these moods b/c then I feel like its something I did even though i know its not. im just so frustrated with everything right now its not even funny. I need to find a job, I need to do good in all my classes and yet I want this relationship to work out. And for some reason I feel like im pushing it. I feel like he has so much more fun wihtout me, im just that one chick that he met at that bar, even though i know im not, I guess I just want the attention and that I want to for once in my life feel like i make someone elses life better. That they want me in their life and that they want to see me and that they put just as much effort into the relationship as I do. It always works that i put too much effort and them nothing or they put too much and me nothing. Why cant it be just right? Am i asking for too much? I dont know...Im just blah I guess and think way too much into everything. ugh oh well my insecure ass is going to go to bed po.