The Vodka is Running on Empty
So its been a long as while since I've last updated this thing, and since I'm a fuckin procrastinator when it comes to homework I will update this thing.
Lets see from June I dont really knwo that much of what hapened. Just the highlights I guess. Mark and I were finished, went to Cali to visit my brother and got 2 horribly done tattoos. Hmm....Got sick where I thought I was going to break my ribs from coughing. Um started dating this kid Matt for like 2 days. Broke up with him b/c he was just way too damn clingy for me after it being only 2 days. Started hanging out with this cool kid Craigizzle lol hahah. Almost started dating him but he wants an "open" relationship type thing and well Mel just doesnt do that. But he was a cool kid. Dont really talk to him that much. We stopped talking to each other in like oct adn then started again in like november. Yeah thats what will happen when you are drunk and you will drink dial lol. hmmm what else. Started dating this kid Justin who I thought was someone good. Seems these days I dont know who is good and who isnt. Seems I pick the ones that treat me like shit. Yep thats me. Well not anymore but yeah. I got in trouble hardcore in August b/c I threw this HUGE ass party at my house when my mom was outta town. Damn let me tell you about that one. I had everyone here. Tony, Phil, all my friends from high school and even some people I have never talked to in high school, all of katelyns friends. We had like 60 people in my house and there was no parking in the neighborhood. But yeah I ended up getting caught b/c I didnt clean up very well..
Okay sorry I went into a random tangent about that. Started school in August failed my A and P class by 2 points. Sucky so now Im at TCC taking prereq classes. I used to work at walmart not anymore b/c I quit that shit so Im just looking for a new job right now that will work with my school hours. Nicole got married!!! So happy for her. Met an awesome dude at Gil's while seeing SL7. Well actually I met him before that when I was going to Gil's with sam that one night. But I kinda blew him off I guess you can say, but now we are together and I' m happy. I know I know I say that alot and I do. I know i do at least I can admit it. I get very picky when it comes to guys. Im sorry. Thats just what happens when you get screwed over time and time again. No more of that for me. But the boy and I are doing good I guess you can say. Hmmm...lets see Been talking to Chris after he broke up with Julie finally. Everything between us is all good now. I got a lot of shit off my chest that I have been wanting to tell him since march. And he said a lot of shit he wanted to say too. So we are all good, he lives in NH now, sucks b/c I didnt get to see him before he left but oh well. HMMM.....what else. Robert and I are finally on good friendship terms. Yeah we pick on each other a lot but thats it. Nothing else there which is good b/c its not like there was nothing there for him nad something there for me and making our friendship difficult. So thats a plus.
I'm currently trying to better my life. but I want to grow up so fast, and it sucks. I wish I wasnt so dependent of my mom. I wish I could be like all those other college kids that go to school full time and still have a full time job and can live out on there own. I only wish I could do that. I know I wouldnt be able too b/c of nursing school once it starts. I have to be able to pay for all my bills plus rent and shit, and i wouldnt make enouogh to do that. So I have to live wit hthe fact that I am still feeling like a child. I hate the fact that my mom pays for all my bills. I mean yea its awesome b/c I have extra money but one day I am going to have to pay for my bills and its going to be a rude awakening. Im so used to hanging out with people 8 years older than me and I want to be where they are at. But I cant. Sometimes I wish I didnt have it so easy so I actually know what working for something means. Yeah ive worked for somethings in my life but after my dad died i pretty much got all my shit handed to me on silver platter. I dont know just been thinking about that shit lately. Im not always gonna have mommy to fall back on. Mommy wont always be there paying my bills. I would have liked to move out by my 21st bday but I dont see that happening at all. Considering when i'm 21 i'll be half way through my nursing school. But then I think about it and IM like damn maybe I should just go to ODU and become a psyh major and do that but then I really want the nursing thing. I mean right now im so overwhelmed with my goals that I fear I wont get close to having them. Nursing school is really hard and I fear that I wont make it. I fear that all my dreams and goals in life just wont happen. I go to school every single day and yet i dont have a job but yet i d ont feel like doing my work. I mean i get it done at the last minute of course but still, im growing up and so scared yet happy all at once.
Okay yeah I think im done being gay...im gonna go back to do some work...po
Lets see from June I dont really knwo that much of what hapened. Just the highlights I guess. Mark and I were finished, went to Cali to visit my brother and got 2 horribly done tattoos. Hmm....Got sick where I thought I was going to break my ribs from coughing. Um started dating this kid Matt for like 2 days. Broke up with him b/c he was just way too damn clingy for me after it being only 2 days. Started hanging out with this cool kid Craigizzle lol hahah. Almost started dating him but he wants an "open" relationship type thing and well Mel just doesnt do that. But he was a cool kid. Dont really talk to him that much. We stopped talking to each other in like oct adn then started again in like november. Yeah thats what will happen when you are drunk and you will drink dial lol. hmmm what else. Started dating this kid Justin who I thought was someone good. Seems these days I dont know who is good and who isnt. Seems I pick the ones that treat me like shit. Yep thats me. Well not anymore but yeah. I got in trouble hardcore in August b/c I threw this HUGE ass party at my house when my mom was outta town. Damn let me tell you about that one. I had everyone here. Tony, Phil, all my friends from high school and even some people I have never talked to in high school, all of katelyns friends. We had like 60 people in my house and there was no parking in the neighborhood. But yeah I ended up getting caught b/c I didnt clean up very well..
Okay sorry I went into a random tangent about that. Started school in August failed my A and P class by 2 points. Sucky so now Im at TCC taking prereq classes. I used to work at walmart not anymore b/c I quit that shit so Im just looking for a new job right now that will work with my school hours. Nicole got married!!! So happy for her. Met an awesome dude at Gil's while seeing SL7. Well actually I met him before that when I was going to Gil's with sam that one night. But I kinda blew him off I guess you can say, but now we are together and I' m happy. I know I know I say that alot and I do. I know i do at least I can admit it. I get very picky when it comes to guys. Im sorry. Thats just what happens when you get screwed over time and time again. No more of that for me. But the boy and I are doing good I guess you can say. Hmmm...lets see Been talking to Chris after he broke up with Julie finally. Everything between us is all good now. I got a lot of shit off my chest that I have been wanting to tell him since march. And he said a lot of shit he wanted to say too. So we are all good, he lives in NH now, sucks b/c I didnt get to see him before he left but oh well. HMMM.....what else. Robert and I are finally on good friendship terms. Yeah we pick on each other a lot but thats it. Nothing else there which is good b/c its not like there was nothing there for him nad something there for me and making our friendship difficult. So thats a plus.
I'm currently trying to better my life. but I want to grow up so fast, and it sucks. I wish I wasnt so dependent of my mom. I wish I could be like all those other college kids that go to school full time and still have a full time job and can live out on there own. I only wish I could do that. I know I wouldnt be able too b/c of nursing school once it starts. I have to be able to pay for all my bills plus rent and shit, and i wouldnt make enouogh to do that. So I have to live wit hthe fact that I am still feeling like a child. I hate the fact that my mom pays for all my bills. I mean yea its awesome b/c I have extra money but one day I am going to have to pay for my bills and its going to be a rude awakening. Im so used to hanging out with people 8 years older than me and I want to be where they are at. But I cant. Sometimes I wish I didnt have it so easy so I actually know what working for something means. Yeah ive worked for somethings in my life but after my dad died i pretty much got all my shit handed to me on silver platter. I dont know just been thinking about that shit lately. Im not always gonna have mommy to fall back on. Mommy wont always be there paying my bills. I would have liked to move out by my 21st bday but I dont see that happening at all. Considering when i'm 21 i'll be half way through my nursing school. But then I think about it and IM like damn maybe I should just go to ODU and become a psyh major and do that but then I really want the nursing thing. I mean right now im so overwhelmed with my goals that I fear I wont get close to having them. Nursing school is really hard and I fear that I wont make it. I fear that all my dreams and goals in life just wont happen. I go to school every single day and yet i dont have a job but yet i d ont feel like doing my work. I mean i get it done at the last minute of course but still, im growing up and so scared yet happy all at once.
Okay yeah I think im done being gay...im gonna go back to do some work...po