womenlovefest | go mi-nyeo & kang shin-woo.
Day three of womenlovefest! This post focuses on fandom's tendency to characterize Shin-woo as "deserving" Mi-nyeo, and it does contain one image. Also I got a little drunk when writing this. CAN U TELL?
Lettuce pretend a moment you are a fellow in a band. It’s a very popular band, but the label thinks maybe your band needs a little something. One day the label says a new guy is going to join you. But then! You realize that new guy is a girl in disguise! What do you do? Do you:
As anyone with any experience in fandom can guess by now, Go Mi-nyeo gets a whole heck of a lot of crap for not returning Kang Shin-woo’s feelings. How dare she not love him! He’s so much better than Tae-kyung! Look how much Shin-woo does for her! How much he sacrifices for her! And then, the killing blow: Shin-woo deserves her.
But, look. Contrary to what many of us have been taught by culture and the media and the people around us, love is not a game. People don’t earn other people. He doesn’t deserve her, like she’s some kind of prize and if he racks up enough points a man will take her down from a shelf and fork her over to Shin-woo. That isn’t how it works. That isn’t how it should work. His desires do not trump her autonomy.
Whether you like Tae-kyung or not, he is who she loves. Tae-kyung is who she chooses. Mi-nyeo does not love Shin-woo. She does not choose Shin-woo. Honestly, it is kind of gross to give her shit for not wanting to make out with Shin-woo! Mi-nyeo’s life-Mi-nyeo’s feelings-is her own to do with as she wants. And like, whooooof, man, the whole love interest debate what still surrounds You’re Beautiful (THANK YOU, HEARTSTRINGS, FOR REIGNITING THAT FIRE) is just super obnoxious to me because it always comes down to the dudes, like, who deserves her more, who’s the better dude, blah blah, blah blah, and I say this as someone who loves Hwang Tae-kyung a WHOLE LOT: the dudes are not the #1 point here! The #1 point here is, why the heck are so many people so bent on erasing Mi-nyeo’s wants?
Love isn’t and shouldn’t be about one person earning another person. It’s about (it should be about) two people mutually respecting and loving one another! Stop calling Mi-nyeo a bitch or an idiot for having the gall to spurn poor, sweet Shin-woo! She didn’t trick him into loving her. She didn’t lie to him. He had feelings of his own accord, just as Mi-nyeo had feelings of her own accord, and prioritizing his feelings at her expense (as, really, Shin-woo does repeatedly, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) is just straight-up not cool.
Let Mi-nyeo determine her own life, damn.
womenlovefest: Go Mi-nyeo.
Lettuce pretend a moment you are a fellow in a band. It’s a very popular band, but the label thinks maybe your band needs a little something. One day the label says a new guy is going to join you. But then! You realize that new guy is a girl in disguise! What do you do? Do you:
- 1. Tell her you know she’s a girl and reassure her you have no intention of spilling her secret to the label or the media. You will respect her reasons and offer her honest support! If at some point you develop feelings for her, you will recognize these are your feelings, not hers, and you will either tell her up-front that you like her or you will simply keep it to yourself.
2. Not tell her you know she’s a girl, ever; in fact when she is “discovered” to be a girl by the band weeks later, you will play into her guilt by admonishing her, reminding her what a good confidante to her you’ve been, and generously forgiving her. You will repeatedly attempt to trick her into displays of affection she does not feel and you know she does not feel. You will attempt to trick her into dates, without ever telling her your feelings or intentions or even that you know she’s a girl. You will offer her friendship but always as a means of pursuing a false romantic closeness, and when she falls in love with another guy, you will passive-aggressively castigate her and you will refuse to acknowledge her feelings for the other guy, instead opting to amp up your own pursuit of her.
As anyone with any experience in fandom can guess by now, Go Mi-nyeo gets a whole heck of a lot of crap for not returning Kang Shin-woo’s feelings. How dare she not love him! He’s so much better than Tae-kyung! Look how much Shin-woo does for her! How much he sacrifices for her! And then, the killing blow: Shin-woo deserves her.
But, look. Contrary to what many of us have been taught by culture and the media and the people around us, love is not a game. People don’t earn other people. He doesn’t deserve her, like she’s some kind of prize and if he racks up enough points a man will take her down from a shelf and fork her over to Shin-woo. That isn’t how it works. That isn’t how it should work. His desires do not trump her autonomy.
Whether you like Tae-kyung or not, he is who she loves. Tae-kyung is who she chooses. Mi-nyeo does not love Shin-woo. She does not choose Shin-woo. Honestly, it is kind of gross to give her shit for not wanting to make out with Shin-woo! Mi-nyeo’s life-Mi-nyeo’s feelings-is her own to do with as she wants. And like, whooooof, man, the whole love interest debate what still surrounds You’re Beautiful (THANK YOU, HEARTSTRINGS, FOR REIGNITING THAT FIRE) is just super obnoxious to me because it always comes down to the dudes, like, who deserves her more, who’s the better dude, blah blah, blah blah, and I say this as someone who loves Hwang Tae-kyung a WHOLE LOT: the dudes are not the #1 point here! The #1 point here is, why the heck are so many people so bent on erasing Mi-nyeo’s wants?
Love isn’t and shouldn’t be about one person earning another person. It’s about (it should be about) two people mutually respecting and loving one another! Stop calling Mi-nyeo a bitch or an idiot for having the gall to spurn poor, sweet Shin-woo! She didn’t trick him into loving her. She didn’t lie to him. He had feelings of his own accord, just as Mi-nyeo had feelings of her own accord, and prioritizing his feelings at her expense (as, really, Shin-woo does repeatedly, OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH) is just straight-up not cool.
Let Mi-nyeo determine her own life, damn.
womenlovefest: Go Mi-nyeo.
- Day #1: Fic.
Day #2: Meta: bravery.
Day #3: Meta: "deserving" Mi-nyeo.
Day #4: Meta: forgiveness and accountability.
Day #5: Meta: staying, going.
Day #6: Meta: things other than love.
Day #7: Meta: a funny lady.