one year later
why i keep this thing still illudes me, i never actualy care to write anything for other hUmans *cringe* to read, i have no use for it, except for now, when im close to bored, and this is all i have left beacuse its convient _ its easter sunday, and my cat is spraled out next to me here on this couch, some retarted movie being a paredy on all other scary movies is rampageing on my telvisiible screening mechonism On this anolog Frequenzie'(word) the call comedy central, my family is mother grandfather and aunt are out there making way for easter dinner avocation, i dont even know if i care to leave this room, i dont wish to confront my grandfather for i have this constant feeling that i have failed in im many ways, iv always deemed him th closeist thing to a father figure although he and my brother where far closr than he and i, now im all thats left, and i feel as if i cant live up to anything, but thats al stricktly in my head, for such concpets have never existed in the air between us, but its for this reason i bring on my self, that i fial to participate in whats left of family events, why i failed to replace my grandfathers windows, why my tools are still at his house since the end of summer casue im afraid to go retrive them, for it would signify my failure, now that i know he is here, iv been debating if i should just sneak over thier and run off with my tools with out him knowing, ofhASDOGhsojkgh;pajksrgjsgbjg _ iv become such a bitter person, my temper has peaked, and i cant tolorate much of anyone any more, in fact i have only two non family people in my life now, Forrest and my darling Stacey, i dont hear form or see anyone else, or i dont want to, either way things are small and trival to me these days _ its called falling apart, and that leads to falling down, wich invloves a nice shirt and some slacks, i goood hair cut, i nice red tie, black leather buisnes suit case, and a 12 gadge shot gun, _ im gona go attempt to be a family member now