(no subject)
my thing is
i can't take vague, subtle clues that someone really has a problem with me... even if the problem isn't me, so much as... my presence?
i don't know... i don't mind being hated even hated in a civil way.
i just can't take being antagonized by people I just want to love.
the other day I was just sitting with some people and this guy that I have all the respect for in the world said something that shouldn't mean anything, but the way he said it, and the way his eyes looked when he said it... i don't know, it felt like he was condemning me.
i can't take it.
i need him to come up to me and tell me to my face what he's going through,
and the same with like, everyone else in my life.
maybe i'm just being paranoid. prob'ly? right?
this is the time of no reply.
i just want to laugh without being looked at funny.. i just want to laugh without feeling as though someone near me is rolling their eyes in my direction.
i can't take vague, subtle clues that someone really has a problem with me... even if the problem isn't me, so much as... my presence?
i don't know... i don't mind being hated even hated in a civil way.
i just can't take being antagonized by people I just want to love.
the other day I was just sitting with some people and this guy that I have all the respect for in the world said something that shouldn't mean anything, but the way he said it, and the way his eyes looked when he said it... i don't know, it felt like he was condemning me.
i can't take it.
i need him to come up to me and tell me to my face what he's going through,
and the same with like, everyone else in my life.
maybe i'm just being paranoid. prob'ly? right?
this is the time of no reply.
i just want to laugh without being looked at funny.. i just want to laugh without feeling as though someone near me is rolling their eyes in my direction.