Another pitiful letter dated September 22, 2011
FYI: I didn't intercept it and I've never claimed to intercept any of them. An interception is his assumption, just like most of his beliefs. It's really too bad. What I do say about him is that his version of the truth is skewed.
Son, you say that you've worked hard for everything that you own... just what kind of work is it that you do? The last job you had (that I'm aware of) was 2+ years ago. You worked that job for 2 weeks (maximum) and quit without notice after hanging on a drunk (and probably a major high too right after getting paid). You still "grieve" against the guy who paid you and you still cry because I called you a loser that Saturday afternoon when you finally had the nerve to show your face for making Sevin and I look like fools for suggesting that he hire you. Sure, I know, Timmy's an asshole. He's cheap and he wanted you to "slave" for nothing. An idiot employer absolutely gives you the right to act like an idiot employee. We all know that. Yeah. I didn't raise you to be that way. I didn't raise you at all. That was my mistake.
And so, you are "a full time father" huh? Duhhh. Any man with a child pretty much qualifies for that position. You're a full time father while the mother of that child works her 20 hours a week. You cook, you clean, you do 100% of the yard work plus some of your neighbor's. Good for you. (Although... I think I recall a text where you claimed that your neighbor cut your grass for you.... so which is it? I'm really confused.) Buddy, there are thousands of people who work 40+ hours a week and do that and more. Take a look around you. Step out of your own head for a minute and attach to the reality of this world. Shit. Give your own mother some fucking credit. Do something your father never could do until it was too late. Don't be like him. You do have a choice, you know.
You're the liar. You're the one lying. But of course, you've repeated the lies so often that you believe them now. It's so much easier to say, "Oh my mother made me like this. Don't blame me for who I am, don't expect me to be half way decent, I can't be and it's all my mother's fault." That's an idiot's line of reasoning.
Sevin did NOT call CPS. PROMISE. GUARANTEED. IF the CPS officer says this to you, he/she is lying. Find someone else to blame it on. It wasn't Sevin. I'll tell you this also, who fucking cares WHO called them? IF you're doing EVERYTHING right as a parent, like you claim to be, ("I have one of the sweetest, most polite, loving kids I know of. I love her more than my life itself.") CPS will have no effect on you. They'll just be another little glitch in the road. In case you haven't noticed there are a million of those. Try coping with it? Sort of like going to jail for "assault on an officer" after being locked out of your house by a 17 year old drop out who refuses to get a job and refuses to go back to school and sits on his ass all day, playing guitar, drinking, smoking and eating (on your dime) while you're at work. It's just a little bump. Get over it! NOTICE? I didn't continue to assault big, fat, dick-faced officers for the rest of my life AND I let you continue to live with me (rent free!) until you were almost 20 years old in spite of the fact that you acted like a total asshole during most of that time. Ask anyone who lived there.
The tattoo didn't come until later in your life, son. Hate to shock you but you didn't get it when you were 13. Besides, EVEN if I DID LET you get one at the age of 13 (which I didn't... just because the person who gave you the tattoo is dead doesn't give you the right to invent lies about when you got it.) you can't possibly blame that for your downfall... can you? Seriously? Oh... sure, I guess you can! IF you'd have gotten a tattoo at the age of 13, don't you think your dad would have had a heyday with that? He had a heyday with everything else he imagined, made up, lied about and believed... THAT would have been something provable, something REAL and ACTUAL that he could have shown to the judge. Instead of looking like a complete fool. "Your honor, she lives in a 1 bedroom apartment with a 17 year old and 18 year old, a cat, a dog and a bird, what kind of living situation is that for anyone?" (This is his defense for not paying child support AFTER Paticow threw his daughters out of the house.) ... let's see, do the math! That would have made you, Bubby, 15 years old. YeahIdon'tthinkso.
There are a lot of holes in your stories, son. You'll never sit still long enough for us to hear them. A lot of discrepancies, I mean. It's too bad. It's your own loss. Again, that's not how I raised you.
Yes, I called you tonight. I thought that maybe I could impress the truth upon you. To me, the truth is so simple. It's so much easier than the lies. I wish that you could see that, I wish that you understood it. The truth doesn't make you look over your shoulder. It allows you to look straight ahead. It allows you to see what's right and what's wrong. With the truth there isn't anger or hate, mistrust , misunderstanding or resentment. The truth allows for peace, acceptance and forgiveness. The truth allows you to move on. It allows you to make the best out of your life.
Truth: The transmission was yours, free and clear until you shot your mouth off (like you do so often). You called Sevin a liar and a thief. Don't you see? You cause your own problems. Sevin was willing to help you out until you crossed him, again. For the nth time. He's a nice guy. But he's not stupid and he owes you nothing. You really don't have that many REAL friends anymore. You really don't have that many people who will help you out. Nobody trusts you. That's because you've burned too many bridges. Just like you burned that one.
"10 years down the road when (your) life is a mess" she doesn't tell you "everything's your own fault", nope, that's NOT what she tells you. The truth is what she tells you it that it doesn't matter who's fault it is. Blame doesn't chance a thing. "Blame it on the moon!" Eventually (hopefully) we all have to stand up, wipe ourselves off and say, "Hey, this is MY life! Am I going to let HER (him, that asshole, whoever) do this to me? She (he, that asshole) only has as much control over MY life as I allow her (him, that asshole) to have." What SHE tells you is this: "No one's life is perfect. No one's parents are flawless. Deal with it. You've been looking for reasons to blame me (just like your father) ever since it was time for you to take responsibility for your own actions. The TRUTH IS: The sooner you take responsibility for yourself & for your life and what happens in it; the sooner you quit LYING to yourself (and others) about WHY your life is the way it is, the sooner you'll realize that YOUR LIFE is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. YOUR life (and what happens in it) is YOUR OWN doing! NOT MINE! God knows, IF I COULD control your life, I'd be able to see my granddaughter, you'd be happy AND I wouldn't be sitting here writing this ghetto infected shit.
It's really sad for me to see you like this. Your father is the same way. That's why it didn't work out with us. He wanted to control all of the things that he had NO CONTROL over (other people, me, the weather, the economy, etc.) and NEVER bothered to control the things he could (himself, his impulses, his actions, etc.). It's not like you're stupid people. You aren't stupid at all. You both have a lot of potential. Unfortunately, it's wasted. And when it comes to understanding reality, you have BIG problems. Again, that's NOT MY fault.
Oh.... and your dad keeping your daughter over night? Nice! What's the occasion? Lets piss your Mom off? Probably. Shows how much you really DO care. You're using him just like you use everyone else. That poor child! Your father's an idiot. Remember when you used to have to beg him & he still wouldn't watch her? Oh, nice environment too. Nice and depressing. Vicodin anyone? You're an idiot.
I have never tried to take your daughter. You WANTED me to take her!!! Do you remember that? You wanted your cousin to take her, a cousin who has/had issues a lot like your own. But if you were on better terms with the family who you slander (your aunt and your uncle and the business associate they tried to get you a job with... nice) and expect to help you in your time of need, you'd know that. Nobody trusts you enough to share that kind of information with you. You take information like this and you use it against people. You twist and turn it to fit your own version of reality and you repeat it so many times that you eventually believe it yourself. TRUTH IS: Nobody trusted you back then either. Believe me, IF we purchased weed from anyone, it wasn't from you. The one time we tried to you claimed that someone "robbed" you. You took the money & returned empty handed. Don't you remember?
That's what happens when you lie. After awhile you forget what's true and what's not.
Yup. The truth sucks doesn't it? It's not always easy. Yup. I made mistakes. The truth is, I should have told you the truth when you were 13 years old. I should have told you that while your dad's family aren't necessarily "BAD" people, they have big problems with the truth. THE TRUTH is: Your mother is NOT the awful person they drove into the floor in front of you some 14 years ago. THE TRUTH is: MOST mothers love their children as your mother loved you. THE TRUTH is: You NEED to get over this. You NEED to deal with it and move on. Not by forgetting your mother who would love nothing more than to have a half way healthy relationship with you, in spite of the fact that you've managed to pretty much destroy any chance you've ever had to have a relationship with your own sisters and MOST of her family members. YOUR DOING!!! NOT HERS, because let's face it, Junior, at the age of 27, she doesn't have much control over what you do, does she? Move on by realizing that we are all human, we ALL make mistakes. Quit trying to crucify your own mother. Quit trying to find any reason to hate her. Try loving yourself. That would be a huge start.
I don't "constantly" tell you about everything wrong you've ever done. I DO suggest that it would behoove you to try to keep a job AND that instead of posting pictures of pot and alcohol on your Facebook page (on a weekend that I'm keeping your daughter for you and buying diapers for her because you only sent her with 2 and didn't bother to mention it when I picked her up... how's THAT for care??? ... and love???? and responsibility???) and getting pulled over by the MSP and taken to jail for a DUI (risking legal fees that you can't afford ) and bitching about MSP "making you blow 3X's!!!" and threatening to sue them that you might be better off flying below the radar (so to speak) (... oh, your dad always figured he was above reproach too... how is it that he collects disability AND hunts AND cuts down trees AND fucks heifers? AND takes so many Vicodin that it slurs his speech yet calls MY boss and claims that I'm stealing money to support MY drug habit??). You might be better off sitting back (pulling your accusing fingers in) and taking a good look at how you're conducting your own business. Take a good look at how you're living your own life.
Yeah. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. According to you, I'm the one who's so pitiful, the one who no one can trust. Right? You're the "model citizen" after all.
Yeah. I guess I do feel sorry for you and even though I know that how you've turned out is NOT MY DOING. It is sad though. Real sad. You have 2 choices. 2 options. 2 roads. (Just like your cousin.) You can accept the truth and chose to take responsibility for your own life. You can start to make the right choices and quit blaming others for your misfortune(s). OR you can continue to blame me (and "the contributing factors about how you were raised") and be sad and miserable and pitiful (just like your dad) for the rest of your life. Your choice.
Son, you say that you've worked hard for everything that you own... just what kind of work is it that you do? The last job you had (that I'm aware of) was 2+ years ago. You worked that job for 2 weeks (maximum) and quit without notice after hanging on a drunk (and probably a major high too right after getting paid). You still "grieve" against the guy who paid you and you still cry because I called you a loser that Saturday afternoon when you finally had the nerve to show your face for making Sevin and I look like fools for suggesting that he hire you. Sure, I know, Timmy's an asshole. He's cheap and he wanted you to "slave" for nothing. An idiot employer absolutely gives you the right to act like an idiot employee. We all know that. Yeah. I didn't raise you to be that way. I didn't raise you at all. That was my mistake.
And so, you are "a full time father" huh? Duhhh. Any man with a child pretty much qualifies for that position. You're a full time father while the mother of that child works her 20 hours a week. You cook, you clean, you do 100% of the yard work plus some of your neighbor's. Good for you. (Although... I think I recall a text where you claimed that your neighbor cut your grass for you.... so which is it? I'm really confused.) Buddy, there are thousands of people who work 40+ hours a week and do that and more. Take a look around you. Step out of your own head for a minute and attach to the reality of this world. Shit. Give your own mother some fucking credit. Do something your father never could do until it was too late. Don't be like him. You do have a choice, you know.
You're the liar. You're the one lying. But of course, you've repeated the lies so often that you believe them now. It's so much easier to say, "Oh my mother made me like this. Don't blame me for who I am, don't expect me to be half way decent, I can't be and it's all my mother's fault." That's an idiot's line of reasoning.
Sevin did NOT call CPS. PROMISE. GUARANTEED. IF the CPS officer says this to you, he/she is lying. Find someone else to blame it on. It wasn't Sevin. I'll tell you this also, who fucking cares WHO called them? IF you're doing EVERYTHING right as a parent, like you claim to be, ("I have one of the sweetest, most polite, loving kids I know of. I love her more than my life itself.") CPS will have no effect on you. They'll just be another little glitch in the road. In case you haven't noticed there are a million of those. Try coping with it? Sort of like going to jail for "assault on an officer" after being locked out of your house by a 17 year old drop out who refuses to get a job and refuses to go back to school and sits on his ass all day, playing guitar, drinking, smoking and eating (on your dime) while you're at work. It's just a little bump. Get over it! NOTICE? I didn't continue to assault big, fat, dick-faced officers for the rest of my life AND I let you continue to live with me (rent free!) until you were almost 20 years old in spite of the fact that you acted like a total asshole during most of that time. Ask anyone who lived there.
The tattoo didn't come until later in your life, son. Hate to shock you but you didn't get it when you were 13. Besides, EVEN if I DID LET you get one at the age of 13 (which I didn't... just because the person who gave you the tattoo is dead doesn't give you the right to invent lies about when you got it.) you can't possibly blame that for your downfall... can you? Seriously? Oh... sure, I guess you can! IF you'd have gotten a tattoo at the age of 13, don't you think your dad would have had a heyday with that? He had a heyday with everything else he imagined, made up, lied about and believed... THAT would have been something provable, something REAL and ACTUAL that he could have shown to the judge. Instead of looking like a complete fool. "Your honor, she lives in a 1 bedroom apartment with a 17 year old and 18 year old, a cat, a dog and a bird, what kind of living situation is that for anyone?" (This is his defense for not paying child support AFTER Paticow threw his daughters out of the house.) ... let's see, do the math! That would have made you, Bubby, 15 years old. YeahIdon'tthinkso.
There are a lot of holes in your stories, son. You'll never sit still long enough for us to hear them. A lot of discrepancies, I mean. It's too bad. It's your own loss. Again, that's not how I raised you.
Yes, I called you tonight. I thought that maybe I could impress the truth upon you. To me, the truth is so simple. It's so much easier than the lies. I wish that you could see that, I wish that you understood it. The truth doesn't make you look over your shoulder. It allows you to look straight ahead. It allows you to see what's right and what's wrong. With the truth there isn't anger or hate, mistrust , misunderstanding or resentment. The truth allows for peace, acceptance and forgiveness. The truth allows you to move on. It allows you to make the best out of your life.
Truth: The transmission was yours, free and clear until you shot your mouth off (like you do so often). You called Sevin a liar and a thief. Don't you see? You cause your own problems. Sevin was willing to help you out until you crossed him, again. For the nth time. He's a nice guy. But he's not stupid and he owes you nothing. You really don't have that many REAL friends anymore. You really don't have that many people who will help you out. Nobody trusts you. That's because you've burned too many bridges. Just like you burned that one.
"10 years down the road when (your) life is a mess" she doesn't tell you "everything's your own fault", nope, that's NOT what she tells you. The truth is what she tells you it that it doesn't matter who's fault it is. Blame doesn't chance a thing. "Blame it on the moon!" Eventually (hopefully) we all have to stand up, wipe ourselves off and say, "Hey, this is MY life! Am I going to let HER (him, that asshole, whoever) do this to me? She (he, that asshole) only has as much control over MY life as I allow her (him, that asshole) to have." What SHE tells you is this: "No one's life is perfect. No one's parents are flawless. Deal with it. You've been looking for reasons to blame me (just like your father) ever since it was time for you to take responsibility for your own actions. The TRUTH IS: The sooner you take responsibility for yourself & for your life and what happens in it; the sooner you quit LYING to yourself (and others) about WHY your life is the way it is, the sooner you'll realize that YOUR LIFE is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. YOUR life (and what happens in it) is YOUR OWN doing! NOT MINE! God knows, IF I COULD control your life, I'd be able to see my granddaughter, you'd be happy AND I wouldn't be sitting here writing this ghetto infected shit.
It's really sad for me to see you like this. Your father is the same way. That's why it didn't work out with us. He wanted to control all of the things that he had NO CONTROL over (other people, me, the weather, the economy, etc.) and NEVER bothered to control the things he could (himself, his impulses, his actions, etc.). It's not like you're stupid people. You aren't stupid at all. You both have a lot of potential. Unfortunately, it's wasted. And when it comes to understanding reality, you have BIG problems. Again, that's NOT MY fault.
Oh.... and your dad keeping your daughter over night? Nice! What's the occasion? Lets piss your Mom off? Probably. Shows how much you really DO care. You're using him just like you use everyone else. That poor child! Your father's an idiot. Remember when you used to have to beg him & he still wouldn't watch her? Oh, nice environment too. Nice and depressing. Vicodin anyone? You're an idiot.
I have never tried to take your daughter. You WANTED me to take her!!! Do you remember that? You wanted your cousin to take her, a cousin who has/had issues a lot like your own. But if you were on better terms with the family who you slander (your aunt and your uncle and the business associate they tried to get you a job with... nice) and expect to help you in your time of need, you'd know that. Nobody trusts you enough to share that kind of information with you. You take information like this and you use it against people. You twist and turn it to fit your own version of reality and you repeat it so many times that you eventually believe it yourself. TRUTH IS: Nobody trusted you back then either. Believe me, IF we purchased weed from anyone, it wasn't from you. The one time we tried to you claimed that someone "robbed" you. You took the money & returned empty handed. Don't you remember?
That's what happens when you lie. After awhile you forget what's true and what's not.
Yup. The truth sucks doesn't it? It's not always easy. Yup. I made mistakes. The truth is, I should have told you the truth when you were 13 years old. I should have told you that while your dad's family aren't necessarily "BAD" people, they have big problems with the truth. THE TRUTH is: Your mother is NOT the awful person they drove into the floor in front of you some 14 years ago. THE TRUTH is: MOST mothers love their children as your mother loved you. THE TRUTH is: You NEED to get over this. You NEED to deal with it and move on. Not by forgetting your mother who would love nothing more than to have a half way healthy relationship with you, in spite of the fact that you've managed to pretty much destroy any chance you've ever had to have a relationship with your own sisters and MOST of her family members. YOUR DOING!!! NOT HERS, because let's face it, Junior, at the age of 27, she doesn't have much control over what you do, does she? Move on by realizing that we are all human, we ALL make mistakes. Quit trying to crucify your own mother. Quit trying to find any reason to hate her. Try loving yourself. That would be a huge start.
I don't "constantly" tell you about everything wrong you've ever done. I DO suggest that it would behoove you to try to keep a job AND that instead of posting pictures of pot and alcohol on your Facebook page (on a weekend that I'm keeping your daughter for you and buying diapers for her because you only sent her with 2 and didn't bother to mention it when I picked her up... how's THAT for care??? ... and love???? and responsibility???) and getting pulled over by the MSP and taken to jail for a DUI (risking legal fees that you can't afford ) and bitching about MSP "making you blow 3X's!!!" and threatening to sue them that you might be better off flying below the radar (so to speak) (... oh, your dad always figured he was above reproach too... how is it that he collects disability AND hunts AND cuts down trees AND fucks heifers? AND takes so many Vicodin that it slurs his speech yet calls MY boss and claims that I'm stealing money to support MY drug habit??). You might be better off sitting back (pulling your accusing fingers in) and taking a good look at how you're conducting your own business. Take a good look at how you're living your own life.
Yeah. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. According to you, I'm the one who's so pitiful, the one who no one can trust. Right? You're the "model citizen" after all.
Yeah. I guess I do feel sorry for you and even though I know that how you've turned out is NOT MY DOING. It is sad though. Real sad. You have 2 choices. 2 options. 2 roads. (Just like your cousin.) You can accept the truth and chose to take responsibility for your own life. You can start to make the right choices and quit blaming others for your misfortune(s). OR you can continue to blame me (and "the contributing factors about how you were raised") and be sad and miserable and pitiful (just like your dad) for the rest of your life. Your choice.